Aging, Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Thinking, Writing

The Inside of My Eye Lids

Not sure how coherent this will be. I can barely keep my eyes open. Too much happened yesterday. I am falling asleep as I write this. Not that you aren’t good company, you are. I am just that tired. I have a little more than an hour before I leave for my next meeting. I missed last night’s because I was too stressed over Essie. She is now on medication similar to mine. She has arthritis in her back and hips.

To add to it all I thought it would be a good idea to mow the yard last night. It was supposed to rain last night (it did not) as well as Thursday (we’ll see). It’s pretty dark out there right now (I just got a rain notification on my phone). Oh damn. I think that was thunder….

I got done with mowing well after dark (I wish the mower had a headlight) so I hope it all looks decent. I did the front yard first while there was still light so it’s just the back that might be off. There are new flowers blooming in the yard. I got a ton of photos yesterday so I will share as many as I can over the next few days.

The light this morning is reversing itself. Instead of getting lighter it is getting darker. I wouldn’t be able to see my keyboard if it wasn’t backlit right now. I’m going to try to add some photos and then take another hour to nap before I need to go. Sorry this is all over the place. Thanks for reading and stay safe.

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, Thinking, Writing

Some Forward Motion

Today looks like a good day to spend outside. I finally have a day off with sunshine and the temperature is going up. We will water the plants (I am so proud of all my plants as they are doing AMAZINGLY well… even if a damn chipmunk ate my peppers that were growing). I have to admit that I am concerned about my sunflower plants that are coming up in the rock garden. I don’t want them to get eaten. I might even put my swing back up. Chris has it rigged so that I can just pop the knot out when I need to bring it in. It is very clever and very easy for me to do. If the weather looks good for the next few days I think it will go back up.

I am trying not to think of the “mad rush” that will happen this afternoon and evening. It’s not that big of a deal but it is to me. especially since I am worried about Essie. That just makes the stress about having the vet visit then leaving for the meeting a few hours later (depending on how long our visit lasts). I just feel like I am always running on my days off.

I think I might pull out a few of my research books for the novel and see if that will help. What needs to happen is that I need to learn about my characters. I have a great story but very thin characters. I don’t know them. I know about them. I’m not sure what to do about fixing that. I need more support characters as well. But right now everyone is just a bunch of names and circumstances.

Essie is bugging me to get outside and play. Stella will join in as soon as it is obvious that I am putting the laptop away. Right now she is asleep on the couch with her head on the arm. And since I am grasping for words to write I should probably wrap this up. I hope you all have a fab day! Stay safe and thanks for reading!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Dogs, Emotions, family, Gardening, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Travel, Writing

So Much

The sun is out and shining and I just want to go back to sleep. Part medicine and part everything going on. (I just lost a few sentences and I have no Idea what happened.) I am hoping a shower helps. I am manager today so I need to be functional. I have tomorrow “off” but Essie has an appointment and I have a meeting that night. I also need to get the article written. Grrrrr…. It says that the meeting will also be via Zoom yet the paperwork distinctly says that there will be no link. WTF?! You can’t have it both ways people! Feeling like I do I would prefer the Zoom but I guess I am driving again.

I was going to try to come home early last night from work but it turned out that I was the closing cashier. I would get teary off and on. There is just some much going on. it sounds like Essie had a bit of a hard day yesterday. I noticed a few times after I got home that she would try to get up from sitting and just end up moving sideways and laying down because she couldn’t get up. It breaks my heart. So I guess we’ll see what we see on Monday. I am grateful that the vet will let me pay later. I think this will be an expensive visit. But Essie is worth it. They all have been.

I guess I should finish this and get in the shower so I can get ready for work. Thanks for reading and stay safe.

Animals, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Writing

Longing For Home

It was a good and restful night with Stella snuggled up on my pillow (only on the one side, she didn’t take up much room) and Essie along my legs and back. The only real disturbance was when Essie was stretching she was getting closer to my lower back and tailbone until she finally did kick it and caused severe pain. I was able to roll over and get my tailbone out of reach but it hurt from then on. I didn’t get mad because she to is in severe chronic pain and has been my shadow through this. Monday we’ll figure out what to do to ease her pain a bit. I know it won’t ever all go away but I want her to be able to do more if she wants to.

I keep forgetting to write a piece for the local paper, The Porcupine Press. I hope she will remember me but ultimately it will have to be my writing that speaks for me. If I write crap it won’t matter how memorable I was it won’t get published. I am wondering if I should use some of my vacation time soon. It’s only 20 hours but that would give me an extra couple of days off. But we are still in the busy season so I should probably wait. Maybe closer to my birthday.

Today I just really want to stay home and relax. I have to wait until Thursday to do that. I have Monday off but that afternoon is Essie’s appointment and then that evening I have a meeting. Followed by a meeting the next morning. Hang on. I hear a plane. Ok it’s not my plane apparently. Lol. I have a plane that will fly over several times if I happen to be laying out on a sunny day. No I am not offended. I feel a bit gratified to be on someone’s flight plane. And I find it a bit funny.

I had a very cool photo op this morning. Essie and I got up and went outside to greet the day. Essie was all alert and doing her thing. She quietly made her way to the back fence and just stood there. When I looked up there was a huge deer on the other side of the fence! I quietly stole back into the house (thankfully the telephoto lens was still on the Nikon), popped the cap off the end and stole back. I got a few photos before they bolted. Yes they. It turns out there was a second deer that I didn’t see a foot or so away hidden behind a bush. I snapped a few more photos but I don’t think I caught much. I’ll share the best ones.

The morning is slipping by too fast. I need to wrap this up and get some outside time in. I have three new plants to foster. Chris laughed at me when I brought them in last night. I told him it was either plants or puppies! 😁 I hope you all have a great day! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Food, Friends, Gardening, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Rolling with the Punches

Well it must be a work day. The sun is out. Sigh… Oh well. The plants will be happy. Normally I write my article before I write this but I can’t seem to wake up. Yesterday tapped me out. I don’t think the girls are too happy with me either. I didn’t spend much time at the house yesterday. I left a little after 1pm, came back a little after 4pm only to leave again around 6pm and get back around 9pm. Then I was awake until 2am.

I did get everything done that needed to be done. Including getting a floating appointment for Essie on Monday. I asked for pain meds for her. I am also contemplating x-rays. So the vet tech is going to our doctor and let me know what is what. Part of my problem is that everyone was chatty with me and I of course returned in kind. I was actually able to go into the vet’s office so I was catching up with the ladies there.

Lunch was the high point of the day. It was so good to see my friend! Our last lunch was the end of April. We decided to get together once a month. Well this was our second outing together. We both needed this little respite. We have been dealing with similar type problems. So it was nice to be able to complain and cry to someone that knew what it was all about. She and I both teared up several times during our talk. The food was AMAZING! I had another Moose burger (yes I was teary). This time I had the Firecracker. And it was goooooood! Fresh cut jalapeños with hot pepper jack cheese and a lovely spicy sauce….. sigh. My mouth is watering again! I also had a cappuccino while we chatted then a spiced chai latte when we left. Both were delicious! We sat at or usual table because it was one of those tall ones as neither of us could sit very well nor for very long. As it turned out she was equally stressed and tired from her medical travails. She had just had her 5th and final radiation session that morning.

I see by the clock that I need to get this done so I can get that article written. I hope you all have a great day! Thank you for all the support! As always thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Today’s Challenges

I went to sleep with a headache and woke up with one. I even had fun in my dreams which usually dispels any stress headaches. So is it the weather or just stubborn? I know I went to bed frustrated with my novel. Writing in general if I am honest. I am not happy with myself or my work. Yesterday sparkled in front of me like a happy dream. A whole two days to do whatever I wanted. But I didn’t do that. Instead I did dishes, laundry, swept and washed the kitchen floor (I even scrubbed on my hands and knees…. yes stupid idea with my back but there we are), paid bills, set up appointments for today and played with the girls. No writing at all was in there. And when I did pull it all out I hit a mental wall. Now I have today off but it will pretty much be filled. I have appointments and running to do. (I’m not looking forward to the meeting tonight. The drive and I won’t be able to sit in the chairs with my tailbone.) I find myself feeling very glum.

Now I know that there will be spare moments. But I honestly think those spare moments will be spent trying to breathe. I just feel rushed and overwhelmed. Even when I’m not. Today will be busy but everything can fit and get done. Things might not be comfortable (I whine about going to the meeting but the driving that I have to do before that will be worse and I have no idea if I can sit when we go out for lunch this afternoon) but things will work out. But I still need time to breathe and not feel overwhelmed. And writing. I need to get back to that too. All I seem to do is this and my personal journal. There’s all the writing stuff that should/needs to be done for others. There is a lot that I just need to let go of. I missed the boat and need to move on. I still haven’t done anything for the editor of the local paper that offered to look at my writing for possible publication. (In my defense work has been hugely busy since she and I talked.) There is just so much…..

Today is another rain filled day. I had hoped to use my new swing (yes the same one I fell out of and broke my tailbone) but no joy. Both girls are asleep. Atleast the plants outside have gotten a good stead watering. I am training some of the beans to go up the tree they are planted under. The pumpkin seeds have taken off so I think we will have a bumper crop this fall. Good thing I know people with kids! (I got the big jack-o-lantern type of pumpkin seeds.)

I see that I have gone on at length. Thanks for listening… I will share some cool photos. One is of an Imperial moth that has been hanging out on our back door for the past day or so. He is as big as the palm of my hand! Beautiful too! I think the poor thing is trying to dry off (good luck in this weather!). I was tempted to move it say under the roof of the motorcycle pad but I didn’t want to do the wrong thing. So now I just try to be careful when I go in and out of the house.

See? There I go again. Chattering away… Ok so I am wrapping this up (I tell myself sternly). Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Life

A Rainy (Lazy?) Day

Today will be a slow inside day whether I want it to be or not. After several days of heat and humidity (which I admittedly enjoyed) it is now cool and rainy. I have not idea why I am up this early on my day off. I didn’t do to bed until 2 or 3am. But at 8am I was wide awake. No help from Essie either.

The neighbor across the street has Stanley Steamer doing their carpets. I couldn’t figure out what the industrial noise was. I thought maybe our AC that is in the bedroom was having issues. Then I glanced out the front window. I wish they would hurry up and go. The noise is both annoying and distracting. Ooooo…. it just all but quit.

I am not sure what all I plan to do for the day. I have so much I want to do. (And silence once again reigned down upon the land….. all the annoying sounds have stopped. Nothing but birds and rain.) I want to write, read, accomplish. And so much that I want to not do. I just want to relax. I may or may not pull out the camera. I got a lot of cool shots (many very amateur I know but I still proud of them) yesterday. I did a serious use of my sports mode on the Nikon. That’s the one that will do the rapid shots when you hold the button down. I had no less than three Monarch butterflies in the garden yesterday. Another brand new one arrived. She was shy at first but once she got used to me and the camera she became quiet the show off. She even would fly around me a bit before going back to playing in the flowers.

This morning I saw a new bunny out the backdoor. It reminded me of one that hung around here quite a few years ago. It has the same streak of white on it’s head. I did get a picture of that little one that I can share. Very cute (as long as he or she doesn’t eat my plants).

I have two areas of direct concern. I found a full blister with red streaks on the surrounding skin after I got home from work last night. No idea what that is from. I know it wasn’t there when I left for work. The second is my dear friend and I are having lunch again tomorrow. I fear that she is going to tell me her cancer is back. But I will share more about that Friday morning. Before I blather on too much I will sign off and add some photos. I hope you enjoy them! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Writing

Now What…???

What a mess… Chris and I both hurt (different reasons, he worked on redoing the stairs in the garage for two days and my broken tailbone), the girls were freaking out over the storms that came through and then Essie gets restless and wants me to get up around daybreak. Essie kept getting up and down once the sun came up and wanted me up too. My alarm was set for 8am since I said I would come in an hour earlier to work. I got her to lay back down a few times but mostly she was up and down off the bed (which worried me because she can’t get up on the bed very well anymore). My alarm went off at 8am and we got up. She won’t go outside. She won’t eat. No frisbee. After Stella got up Essie snuck back in bed and I had to chase her out of the bedroom. Despite what it seemed she would’ve been up and down in bed with Chris and he wouldn’t have gotten any sleep either. I don’t know what is wrong with Essie. I have ideas but that requires a visit to the vet.

I did get a lot of photos taken yesterday. A new Monarch butterfly stopped by and was nice enough to let me take some pictures. She was a fairly new butterfly. Her wings had just dried. Then there were the storm clouds…. A storm literally circled us. The thunder started in the east. Over the next half hour I watched and heard the storm move north, then to the west, south and back to the east where it seemed to settle. It was very disconcerting. Today we have nothing but sun. So we’ll see how busy we get at work.

I have tomorrow off. My hopes are to try to relax and prioritize what I need to do. Both for me and for others. So for right now I will see what photos to add (and how much space I have left on here) and get this posted. I hope you all have a great day! Stay safe and thanks for reading!

Animals, anxiety, Dogs, Emotions, family, Gardening, Holiday, Life, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Writing

Busy, Busy, Busy!

I can’t believe how late it is! When I finally looked at the clock it was after 10am! Essie really had to go out when we got up. She made a beeline right out the door as soon as I opened it. We got to bed a little after 1am. I didn’t even read before bed. I fell right to sleep. The fireworks weren’t too bad for the girls this year. Stella wasn’t happy but would settle somewhere and usually chill. Essie just laid by me and went to sleep.

Work was close to a 12 hour day. I got there around 11am and left not long after 10:30pm. We were busy and short staffed but the people were pleasant so that made things go well. The store owner stayed with us through close and helped out on registers as well as stocking a few shelves. That was a big help. And he got to see first hand how I did as a manager since I closed that night.

The temperature just keeps creeping up as I sit here and write. I am glad that the house has AC. Chris has been busting tail out on the garage. Since the builder royally screwed things up we had two things that had to be fixed before it could pass inspection. Chris has had the first fix done for a while. (The inspector came out and ok’s that then found another issue he apparently hadn’t noticed before (?!).) This one meant that the stairs to the loft had to be removed and redone. Chris will be finishing that tonight. So hopefully we can use all of the garage soon.

I haven’t had much of a chance to take photos lately but I will share what I have. I’m sorry for any repeats. I’m looking forward to Wednesday so I can just do nothing and try to recoup from the past week. My tailbone had me in tears at one point. I hope everyone has a great day! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Cooking/Baking, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Food, Friends, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Writing

Bits of Joy

This morning dawned and I hurt. Stella was asleep beside me with her head on my pillow. Essie was at my knees snoozing. I really didn’t want to get up but my tailbone wasn’t letting me sleep. And I did need to get up because I had stuff I needed to do before work. Today’s big project is two batches of rice crispy treats. I should’ve done them last night so all I had to do was cut them up but I was too tired and I wanted to spend time with the family. Yesterday was VERY busy at work. I also have the new record for this year (I also believe it is only second in the store’s history) for a total sale of $997 and change. I believe that the high score (if you will) is $1047 and change.

Essie’s birthday was a success. The cupcakes turned out very well and were a big hit at work. I am really glad that I took the time to do everything and share at work. It brightened up everyone’s day. Everyone is beginning to feel the strain. The cupcakes brought many smiles. It was also a coworker’s birthday so that worked out well.

I really want to thank my readers for reaching out. I means a lot that you know only enjoy what I write but that you also take the time to comment. I don’t feel like I am writing in a vacuum. It also helps me to get motivated about my writing projects outside of this. Now I just need to find the time! I am carrying around a piece of paper that has a bunch of notes on it about a short story. I jot things down as they come to me.

The pains from my back and tailbone are getting to me. I’m going to add a few photos and wrap this up. I hope you have great day! Thanks for reading and stay safe!