Animals, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Writing

Hiding Out

My heart aches as I write this. I found out last night that we lost a dear friend in an accidental fire. I Don’t want to be awake at this ungodly hour nor do all the things that I am slated to do today. Stella kept barking at things until I finally yelled at her to stop. That was around 2am. I was asleep by 11pm. Chris got home at 3:30am. I have been awake since 6am.

There is so much to do today. The meeting, work (I am going in a little early to water the plants for a coworker)…. Work is going to be interesting. I am on my own in the deli from 2:30pm on today. I got that little bomb dropped on me when I went in yesterday. I know that they are going to bust tail to have everything they can done for me but still… This whole being short staffed is starting to wear on us all. Everyone would rather stay home and get their free handouts rather than work. And to be fair you can earn more money staying home getting the handouts than if you go get a job. The whole thing is messed up.

I apologize for the less than happy words that seem to be pour out onto the page. I am just exhausted mentally and physically. Hopefully the next tow days will help me get into a better frame of mind. I did get some beautiful sunset photos that I will share. And Essie is feeling better. She ate all of her dinner and most of her breakfast. I am grateful for that. Thanks for reading and all your wonderful comments! Stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Movies, Nature, Photography, Reading, Thinking, Writing

What Just Happened?

Yesterday was in no way what I intended to do. I did get the outdoor plants watered (several times because it was so very very hot out) but that was it. I had planned to lay out. Nope. During the first round of watering the plants we had an unexpected visitor come over. So I woke Chris and we all spent time catching up. When our friend left I was trying to pick up the house a little and I hear “Oh God!” from the living room and all I see is that Essie has collapsed and it twitching. I come running and trying not to freak out. (Essie had not eaten breakfast nor would she drink any water.) From then on I watched her like a hawk. Which turned out to be fairly easy as she was following me around all day. Maybe around 5pm or 6pm I managed to get her to let me put a cool washcloth on her (she hates baths and getting wet in general). She slept a lot. I stayed in the house most of the day. No writing got done because I was too worried about Essie. I finished reading the Tony Hillerman I had been taking to work. I started reading about old New Orleans (I didn’t do any research books because I knew I would not retain much). Late last night a little before bed I got Essie to eat a few strips of beef (think beef cut for stir fry) and she did drink a little water.

Mom was blowing up my phone texting what I should do for Essie as was another friend. Since Essie was resting comfortably I said thank you to both of them via text (they were both calling and texting) and shut off my phone. It was just too much. I know they meant well. But I knew they would be hurt no matter what I said if I did not follow their instructions. I would be a bad Mom. So I gave updates to everyone this morning. Mom will probably be mad at me for a few days. Oh and I guess she tripped and fell about halfway down the stairs again. So.

I have a meeting tomorrow morning that I have to drive to. I am terrified that I will forget it with everything going on. Ok, I just set an alarm to get up at 7am and another for 8:30am so I can be out the door. I don’t know if I should dress for work or not. I think I will have enough time to come home to change.

So yeah…. I read and (thank you Chris) I watched several horror movies that I have wanted to see on HBOMax. Nothing else got done. It was better for my back to be sure. But there is still that sense of frustration from not get what I had planned done. So this morning I will try to get some writing done on the novel. To that end I will get this posted with a few photos. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, Dogs, Emotions, family, Gardening, Life, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking

The Dog Days of Not Summer Yet

It is already another hot day. I am grateful. The girls and I will probably be outside a lot. No one is feeling very good this morning. Stella is the only one that has eaten. Work was difficult as we had two people not there. I ended up working in the deli, as cashier and manager. I did too much and I am paying for it now.

There are a lot of butterflies this morning. I might pull out the camera and see if I can get some shots. My awesome neighbor came over and cut our grass yesterday. It’s nice to have a yard again! The only downside is that with the heat all that lush green has turned yellow and brown. I also need to water my outdoor plants. I replaced the nozzle for my hose so when I finish this I will probably do that. I should’ve when I got home last night but I just couldn’t. I hurt too much.

That is all the excitement have for now. I will share some photos and call it a day. I hope you all have a great day. Thanks for reading and thank you so much for all your support! Stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Learning, Life, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, the World, Thinking, Writing

Sooooo Now What?

What a mess… I feel like I have more questions than answers with my back. No examination or anything. I was given two medicines (one a muscle relaxer and the other for anxiety and sleep) and the wheels are in motion for an MRI. They are going to contact my insurance to see if they will cover it. If I don’t hear anything in a week I am supposed to call the doctor. So.

The medicine is a mixed bag. I am not sleeping any better. A loud noise woke me at 2am and I was wide awake (I was instructed to take one of each medication before bed). After staring into the dark for around 15 minutes I got up and took a sleeping pill. Then I read for an hour to fall asleep. I kept waking up from 6am on every little while to crack an eye at the clock. The pain portion of all this is…. interesting. The muscle relaxer has cleaned up the pain if you will. All the aches from limping and such have gone away. Now I know where all the pain is stemming from. The base of my spine and the backs of my hips. This pain is still very intense. An added bonus is that I found a rather large bruise on the bottom of my left heel. It feels like it goes all the way to the bone.

The downside of all this is that my novel has been ignored. So tomorrow I need to but some time in with that. I may do a bit this morning before work (fun fact: I work at 11am instead of 2pm like I thought so it will be atleast a 10 hour day today). I am so happy to not have to do anything on my day off! I have to get groceries but I will do that tonight. I don’t want to go anywhere tomorrow.

The heat is supposed to be record highs today and tomorrow. 90F (32.2C). I am glad Chris will be home with the girls and that the AC units are in!

Some bright spots from yesterday are I got some lovely gifts from one of my coworkers. She got my a beautiful best friend necklace that breaks in half and we each get a half as well as a very cool cup with my initial on it. I plan to use this tomorrow. The second bit of awesome that happened was I got my Supernatural box! I didn’t post that on my Facebook page yet. I didn’t want to have the gifts from my coworker over shadowed so I will post them today.

Ok, I will see how many photos I can add. I do have a bunch to share. I hope you have a great day! Thanks for reading!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Nature, Photography, Thinking


I am excited to say that we have had our first hummingbird this morning! She was checking out all the new flowers I put in yesterday.😍 I am really tickled. It makes me feel good that wildlife want to come and hang out with us. I managed to get the birdfeeder filled up too. It looks like the birds aren’t as dependent on it for food right now and that’s ok. They know it is there and has food if they need it.

Today is the day of reckoning… I go to the doctor in another hour and a half. In that time I need to do this and to get my article for last night’s meeting written. It should be pretty easy. I went to bed not long after the meeting ended because I was so tired. Not much sleep the night before. I got sleep last night but Stella kept hearing things and barking. Usually every hour or so. Two hours if I was lucky. Once Chris came to bed I cracked an eye at 5am to check the clock and every half hour or so I would wake to check the clock.

I will hopefully have good news to share tomorrow morning (besides the fact that I actually get to sleep in). Not being able to function is not working for me.

All the flowers have perked up after all the transplanting yesterday. The pansies were the ones that seemed to take things the hardest. I still have more mums and two more pansies to find homes for. I let work know about the crappy dirt they were selling. I bought two bags and neither smelled like they should. They smelled off. Then I kept finding trash in the dirt as I scooped it out. Chunks of used plastic, strips of rubber… that kind of thing. I mixed up several batches of Miracle Grow to try to compensate for whatever was in the dirt. Everyone seems ok. I just hope the dirt won’t cause further problems. Like putting stuff into our soil.

I need to get that article written before I head out so I’m gonna wrap this up. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Thinking

A Little Something to Grow On

I was going to write this before I left but I ran out of time so here we are. I got groceries and my plants. And dirt. I am going to be in serious pain later but I can’t stop living because of the back. Tomorrow morning I see the doctor and hopefully get scheduled to find out what is going on with my back.

Back to my gardening… I got two huge tomato plants (I found two small tomatoes growing already!) as well as a lovely assortment of flowers and food stuffs. They got in an amazing selection of things! I put aside a bunch last night before I left then I got a bunch more this morning. I am excited beyond words to be able to play in the dirt! I will probably regret it later but my soul needs to do this. I have two baskets of flowers to put out for the butterflies, bees and hummingbirds as well.

I was able to get everything into the car. Getting it all out proved to be the challenge. Before I even started shopping my back was screaming. All those plants and 80 lbs of dirt later…. it’s still not happy. But I am. 🥰

The girls aren’t sure if I am mean or not. I was able to coax them out of the bedroom so I could shut the door before I left. They helped unload groceries and put them away and helped move a few of the plants before they lost interest. Now they are both dozing.

Ok my friends, the gardening beckons. Wish me luck! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Books, Creativity, Learning, Life, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Thinking, Writing

Ponderings and Readings

Here we are back again. The morning is cooler. It was scorching yesterday at it’s peak. Sounds like more of the same for the next few days. And I am ok with that. I just have to get through today. Since I am closing manager I should be able to sit more. I am also hoping that the flowers show up so I can pull my stuff aside.

I notice that we are running out of things on a regular basis. The big one has been milk. We have had nothing but the ultra expensive $7 for a half gallon stuff (you know the milk for people who are allergic to everything in milk) left. Lettuce and other vegetables have also run out on occasion. We have been going through a lot of everything in the deli. I think we made sandwiches and subs like three times last night. And that is nothing compared to what it will be like in the height of summer.

I have injected my research reading with two new (for me) authors. The first is Enchanted April by Elizabeth Von Arnim and the second is Things Undone by Travis Liebert. Both writers are very eloquent and very good storytellers. I encountered Enchanted April through the movie of the same name. From what I am reading they stayed very true to the novel. It is one of my favorite movies to watch (especially during the doldrums of winter). I stumbled on Travis Liebert when I was researching on Amazon. He is a cross between H.P. Lovecraft and Clive Barker. His stories are rich with atmosphere and the stories in this collection are linked together with wonderful poems (also written by the author). I am almost halfway through the collection and I have a hard time putting it down even if I finish one of the stories. Liebert’s writing is amazing. I was surprised to learn that he was 20 years old. He writing is polished way beyond that. I can’t recommend both writers enough!

My back is telling me that I need to change position or get up and move. I didn’t get much sleep despite my best efforts so I am still tired. Hopefully I can move toward a solution Friday morning. I did get a few photos taken. I hope you like them. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

The First Day of June

I am gradually running out of steam. The back is asserting itself. Do I give up the blog? There is so much I could be doing around here when I am still doing this. I don’t know. I am trying not to complain on here but as things get worse it becomes harder to keep that out of my posts. But should I give up one of my major writing platforms? Again I don’t know.

Thursday starts our annual plant sale at work. It will go for three days (I’ll be surprised if we don’t sell out the first day). When I mentioned coming in early on my day off to get some stuff I was told to just go and pick out what I wanted and set it aside. 😍 I am closing manager the night before which is when the plants etc should show up so I am very excited to have the opportunity to do that. I will get plants as well as hanging baskets for the various little friends that come to visit. As well as dirt. Probably a couple bags of it. I have Thursday off and I hope to spend most of the day outside.

The nice thing about working yesterday is I get holiday pay so this paycheck will be nice. I hope we can get more employees because we are all getting run ragged. Long shifts and working sometimes six or more days straight. We are all waiting to see if our hours change.

Stella has just laid down beside me on the floor. She has been a cuddle bug this morning. Essie is drifting in and out. She is my sun bunny so she, like me, spends as much time outside as she can.

My sense of time feels very off. It feels like a Sunday again. Yesterday felt like a Sunday too. I don’t like feeling like this. To add to the confusion I am the same shift as yesterday but in the deli. Maybe. Our closing cashier is the one who has been calling in and supposedly was going to step back for her job until she was better. When I asked yesterday no one in management knew anything about it. So.

I’m going to wrap this up. I’ll go outside and snap a few photos to add since I’ve not really had much time or inclination to take photos lately. I hope you all have a great day! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Emotions, family, Gardening, Life, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking

Staring at the Wall

I tried to get up a little early so I could ease into my day. I reset my alarm to get an extra hour of sleep anyway. I still have time but I am still very sleepy. Whenever I had to move I woke up. I have no idea how this 9 hour shift will be tonight. Or tomorrow for that matter. I am in the deli again tomorrow night. But it is what it is. We are short staffed so there is no help for it. We are all wondering if our store hours will change because of that.

I didn’t do much other than read yesterday. I am disappointed but there is no help for it. I might try to fill the bird feeder before work. I also need to change out the hummingbird feeder. I didn’t take any photos either. I’m just not feeling it right now. I will add some from the other day.

I did get the brief piece written and turned in yesterday. Truthfully it wasn’t very good. It had two things going against it. One I had little to no information to go with (I made up a lot of fluff) and two I just didn’t want to do it. I hurt and I was tired. Much like right now. So I don’t know whether or not the piece will get used. I won’t be upset if it doesn’t get used.

If Chris can get the mower functioning I may try to get atleast the front mowed after work one day. I don’t think I will have time before work on any given day this week. I need to look through the backyard for toys as well. I think we have all of them inside now but there might be a few stragglers. That way when I have a chance to do the backyard I can just do it.

I’m going to get this posted so I can have one more cup of coffee and then go to work. Thanks for reading. I hope you have a great day. Stay safe.

Animals, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Writing

Finding the Sun In the Clouds

The back has taken a severe turn for the worst. They sent me home from work about two hours early yesterday because of it. It has gotten progressively worse. I can’t stay in any position for very long. I did a lot of pacing both inside and outside. Right now the pain in barely manageable. My doctor appointment is Friday. What a fun week this will be! I am hoping not to have to end up in ER. But I worry on that account as my legs will go numb every once in a while now.

I have today off and it feels very weird. I am used to doing this and then having to get myself together for work. I di have an article that I need to write for an online publication when I finish this. I really regret saying yes to this one. Not that it is a bad topic or anything. I just hurt so much that I don’t think I am going to do it very well. And right now I really don’t want to do anything. But I said I would so I need to follow through. I have an in person meeting on Thursday in Elk Rapids. I am concerned about attending that one. I don’t know if I can sit for that long with my back. I will wait and see. BUT an added bonus is that I did get a raise! I am up to !6 cents a word now! Whoot whoot! I was very pleased at finding that out. ❤

Some other good news is that all my plants seem to be doing very well despite the very cold nights. I did catch a bunny in on one garden. I need to see what damage was done. I may have to take drastic measures this year. I never had problems with them in my gardens until we got the fence up. I’m not sure why. I also got a visit from a Monarch butterfly the day before yesterday! She was going to all the milkweed that has come up and doing her thing. That brought a big smile to my face! AND my orchid has started to bloom!!!! It is sooo beautiful!

The sun is out and shining and the girls are in and out. I am hoping to spend some time outside today. I just hope my back will let me. It will be hard to not do anything in the gardens. I might pull a few weeds… 😁 I did not stop and get anything after work yesterday. I just came straight home. I still need another hose, spray nozzle for said hose, dirt, seeds and plants. Next weekend is our plant sale at work. I am hoping to sweet talk the store manager to setting some stuff aside for me. Dirt for sure…. I can do the seeds at the dollar store down the road. But the plants and dirt I want to get at work. The thing is it will be crazy because it sounds like a lot of places are out of plants and won’t be getting anymore around here. Soooo I will have to be extra good so they will let me have first dibs.

I need to wrap this up. I will share a few photos as well. I hope all of you have a great day! Thanks for reading and stay safe!