Animals, Books, Creativity, Dogs, family, Learning, Life, Thinking, Writing

Hocus Pocus I Can’t Focus

I was in a panic earlier this morning as I had to reenter all my information for unemployment.  I am still a little anxious as I am not completely sure about the dates I entered being correct.  I am currently trying to breathe my way back to calm.  I have Stella rapped around a foot as she sleeps.  Moose is nearby but facing the window.  Essie I think is in the living room in the big dog bed.

Today is the day I take the Jeep to get looked at.  I am anxious because if this is going to be a major repair session it is going to get expensive.  Hopefully our mechanic got back safely from his road trip.  I will text him once I finish with this.  I’m glad I didn’t start worrying about this last night.

I need to get myself together today.  I have things that need to be done and I keep putting things off.  Like my class work.  I still have plenty of time but I have the basics done all I need to do it tweak it and submit it.  It shouldn’t take any time at all.  Unless I procrastinate and then it can take countless hours.  I got all kinds of stuff done around the house for the family but doodlely was done for myself (other than read the new book… and that was supposed to wait until I finished reading my surfing book).

I wrote a to do list last night in bed.  Hopefully I can stick with it.  I have a meeting to cover tonight.  I hope and pray that I can get the Zoom connection to work.  I’ve not reported on this meeting the past two months because the link would not work for me.  I need to just sit down and do things instead of well-maybe-later.

I didn’t take a single photo yesterday.  The funny thing is Essie will pose for the camera but if I am using the phone camera she looks away.

The first photo is with my phone. So I set it down and got my camera. The second photo is with the camera. I didn’t even have to ask her to look at me.

The dogs are getting antsy and I am not far behind. I’m gonna wrap this up. Thanks for reading! Stay safe and have a great day!

Animals, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Learning, Life, Love, Thinking, Writing

Finding the Motivation

The rain has gone away.  Yesterday was a much welcome cloudy with rain off and on all day.  It did cool things off a bit.  Back down to normal summer heat for a day.  The temperatures will be right back up there today.  And I am ok with that.

I seem to have run into a mental dry spell over the last few days.  No writing other than this and my journal.  I’ve been lugging one of my guitars around with the appropriate paperwork to practice playing but I’ve done nothing past tuning the guitar.  I have read a bit in the new book.  I seem to not only lost my drive but my focus as well.  I was moving forward with great strides and now… inertia.

Moose definitely has kidney disease so I ordered more kibble yesterday.  I got the lamb since he doesn’t seem too fond of the chicken flavor.  We’ll see how he does.  Essie didn’t eat this morning.  She started getting me up around 6am to go outside in a hurry.  I left the door open for her.  She had to go back out maybe an hour later.  Then once we got up for the day She went directly outside.  Moose wouldn’t eat either.  I wonder if it is because Essie wouldn’t.  He’s in here with me and I can hear his tummy doing hungry rumbles.  I worry that Essie’s cancer is more severe than we think.  They said they got it all out with the lump but I’m not so sure.  And her surgery scar isn’t healing correctly.  Part of it keeps getting opened back up.  Now that Moose has been taken care of I need to call and ask them about her.  That will have to wait until Monday.  Monday I am also dropping the Jeep off for Chuck to look at.  Soooo….

I feel so busy but I know I have plenty of free time if  I choose to use it.  I just need to not do other things, like watch tv.  Moose is dreaming.  It sounds like it is on the border of becoming a nightmare with the sounds he is making.  I am keeping the house up as well as the gardens this year (so much easier and rewarding being able to stay home).  But will I let myself blow off writing?  That is part of the reason I opted to pay for the course instead of taking the free version.  The other part is that I can get feedback from other writers.  If you take the free course you are limited as to what you can do.  If I pay for it and don’t do anything then I am wasting money.  If I take the free version I can blow it off because it “doesn’t count” for anything.  That’s what I did with the guitar class.  So I need to find my way.

On that note I need to get something written before Chris gets up for the day.  He wants to do some running together.  I would rather stay home but it is time together.  Thanks for reading!  Stay safe!

Animals, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, Guitar, Learning, Life, Thinking, Writing

Up Too Early

It is a dark early morning.  The rain started a little yesterday but got serious in the wee hours of the morning.  I managed to get maybe a half hour out of each hour since 2am.  I finally gave up around 6am.  I didn’t get much done yesterday.  My mind was restless.  I know part of it is worrying about Moose’s test results today.  He goes back in to have his diagnosis of kidney disease verified.

I’m glad I checked the master bathroom before I shut the door when I got up this morning.  I noticed that the bathroom door was partly open.  I figured something spooked Stella and she had gone in there.  I looked in before I shut the door again and there she was still curled up on the floor on one of my rugs.

I got no further in my classwork.  I got my guitar tuned and cleaned up.  I pulled out my notes and diagrams for my guitar class.  And that is all I got done.  I had intended to write a review for The Fishermen this week as well.  Nada.  I am disappointed in myself but not.  I will just keep trying today.

I’m not sure what today holds but I will give it a shot.  Atleast I don’t have to water the gardens today!  Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Creativity, dreams, Emotions, family, Guitar, Learning, Life, Love, Thinking, Writing

Guess Who’s Taking Classes…

Today’s big news is that I signed up for an online class.  Actually classes.  It’s a creative writing collection of courses through Coursera.  I am paying for them so I will get a certification at the end.  Chris didn’t seem too enthused when I told him.  He thought I would go for a photography class.  I don’t think he sees the use in me taking this course since I already know how to write stories.  His second guess when I said I was taking writing classes was journalism.  He knows I can earn money doing that so that would be normal to guess.  But creative writing seems like a waste to him.  Mind you he’s said none of this.  This is all what I am reading into his response.  I didn’t mention that I was paying for the courses.  (You can take all the courses on there for free but you won’t get certified and you might not be able to access everything available in the course.)

I am taking the classes because I am hoping that talking with other creative writers I can get more consistent with my writing.  And I am stuck in my novel so I am hoping that I can use that over the course exercises and get that back on track.  I already have ideas after the first class.  It started yesterday.  I have done everything but write the 250-350 word story and critique others.  I cranked out a rough draft last night before bed (one of the reasons I didn’t get to bed until almost 1am) and I hope to tweak it today and get it submitted.  The twist for it is that they have listed 12 random words and you need to use atleast 6 of them in every other sentence to create movement.  I got a bug after watched a bunch of diverse short documentaries last night.

So that is where I am right now.  This morning I feel a bit run down.  I felt like this last night so not sure if it is merely the continual heat or just me coming down with something.  I think I will wrap this up and go read or work on some writing.  Oh and they are letting me finish the guitar class if I want to (I was almost done before I stopped… maybe one or two hours of work left I think) so I guess I’d better tune the guitars back up and get at it.

Thanks so much for reading and thank you for your thoughtful comments!  Stay safe and have a great day!

Books, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, Learning, Life, Nature, Photography, Thinking, Writing

Feeling Very Zen

This morning I am writing from my office desk instead of in the living room.  It feels different but comfortable.  Moose is sleeping behind me on the floor.  The girls are in their usual spots in the living room.  Stella wandered in a bit ago to see what was up.  Moose followed me in and has been here the whole time.

There are things I still need to tweak in here (my orchid is on my desk but I may move it as it is sort of taking up room… not a lot but we’ll see).  I also thought of another shelving unit I can put in the master bathroom to help get some of my book piles off the floor.  It does feel rather peaceful in here.

I find that I am calmer and more open lately.  Anxiety attacks are all but gone.  I am making a conscious effort to move forward with myself.  I am less tense and less of a worry wart which is a very welcome change.  I am able to appreciate the moment instead of play “what if” all the time.  The heat has also helped.  Because it is so hot there is not much you want to do.  So I am reading more and I am reading new books.  I’m not rereading comfort books to lose myself in familiar territory.

I found a Netflix series that uses the same story idea that I started with for one of my current stories.  I am going through that to see what they did, mostly for ideas and to make sure that I don’t use the same things in my story.  I am very excited as I have gotten a few ideas of my own from watching.  I sit with my notebook and fountain pen handy as I see how the story unfolds.  It is Italian but dubbed.  I am of two minds about it.  Dubbed means I can take in the whole experience without trying to rush to read the bottom of the screen before quickly taking in as much as I can of the background and what is going on before I have to read the next line on the bottom of the screen.  The other side of that is that I would like to learn Italian and I do enjoy the sound of the language.

I have to be careful that I don’t spend all

my time in front of the tv in this heat.  It is easy to do since the AC is right there in the window.  I try to get out in the yard.  If nothing else I water Minion’s garden under the tree and set up the sprinkler here and there as needed.  And of course take photos.  I got some beautiful ones of the sky last night.  I even got the colors!

I see that this post is a bit longer than usual.  I will add some photos from yesterday and upload for you reading pleasure.  Thanks for reading and stay safe!

 

There is a dragon fly landing to the left on the tiger lilies.

Creativity, Learning, Life, Thinking, Writing

Cleanliness to Help the Writing Process

Yesterday ended up being a highly productive day.  Once I finished this I went and cleaned up my office, cleaned out my library (this is actually a walk in closet that I have put bookshelves etc in), vacuumed the whole house, washed the kitchen floors and cleaned a bunch of the windows (I focused on the ones that had the most dog snot on them).  I’m not sure why I am continuing to write out here in the living room.  I do want to write in my office.  It feels “right” again.  I supposed the simple answers are the AC is out here and the kids are too.  But the kids would come in my room if I went in there.  Sooooo…. Habit then.

Since I have done a lot around the house I guess I can focus on writing today.  And since I am feeling  little better some yoga.  I pulled out my yoga mat and block from my office when I cleaned yesterday.  Chris was shocked when he came in my office and saw everything I got done before he got up.  When I finished vacuuming he was nice enough to blow out the various filters from the vacuum for me.  He got a crash course on how to take it apart and put it back together.  The house does feel better.  I am trying not to look around and see other things that need to be done.  I try to clean every day but when the bug bites I try to go with it and that’s when I tackle the bigger projects.  That being said I also need to make sure that I don’t lose myself in that and not write.

I found that I don’t write in the current journal as much.  Part of it is because I am getting to the end and I am anxious to start using a new journal.  The other part just dawned on me the other day.  It’s too small.  The pages are too narrow and my writing feels confined.  Writing a page at night in a spiral notebook or something of that size I feel I can get it all said.  Even if I go on for a few pages in this journal I feel confined.  I got it because it was smaller and easier to cart around.  I guess that I need to pay attention from now on.

I think I will wrap this up and see what kind of trouble I can get into on paper.  Thanks for reading!  Stay safe and have a great day!

Animals, Being Pagan, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, Gardening, Life, Nature, Thinking, Writing

Feeling the Connection

Today I am trying new old things.  I have lit a stick of my Creativity incense and I am listening to music via my ear buds.  Back when I was deep into my writing craft I would start every session of writing with some incense that I loved and music.  Unfortunately my stereo has ceased to function many years ago so all my CDs have been unused unless it is in the car.  I miss that.  I miss the music as I write.  So, here I am giving it another go.

I have also started watering more of the back gardens.  I was just watering the bases of the milkweed to keep them healthy for the bees and butterflies but since I purchased a round sprinkler I can cover more area so yesterday I watered two new spots.  The milkweed and pots that had been watered the night before didn’t show any visible signs of needing water despite the heat so I did two other gardens.  I may do some watering in the front but they are to the north and don’t need as much as what I have behind the house to the south.

I also finally planted Minion’s garden yesterday.   When Minion died I took his pool and cut it so it would fir around the base of the tree but I had minimal dirt and no money to get more so I put what I had in and left it.  It’s been that way for about two or three years… three years.  Well I got a big bag of dirt the other day and I looked at it yesterday morning and then looked at the half hearted project and decided to finish it.  I had some seeds left over so I planted some food stuffs to the south and the rest is flowers.  I watered it well.  I stepped back and was pleased with myself.  Finally a long ago project done.  And it felt good to garden.  I will try to water them every morning after Chris gets up (the hose turn on point is just outside the bedroom window).

I am also working on my spirituality.  Working in the gardens has gotten me back to my Wiccan roots.  I find myself being more in tune with my surroundings.  I notice more.  I can walk through all those flowers packed with bees and once I say excuse me (or us if the dogs are with me) none of the bees or other insects bother me/us.  And those flowers are packed with insects.  No one gets stung or even dive bombed by irritated insects.  Birds will hang out in the yard while we are all out there doing whatever.  It feels good to have that connection with things again.

So that is where I am right now.  As well as some of the places I’d like to go.  Thanks for reading!  Have a great day and stay safe!

Emotions, family, Holiday, Life, Motorcycles, Riding, the World, Thinking

Tourists

I am trying not to be bitter and angry as I see all the out of state license plates as the tourists start to pour in for the holiday weekend.  I get especially angry when I see plates from states with growing COVID-19 cases.  I really wish they would stay home.  Up here we are fairly isolated so we haven’t been hit hard.  But I am willing to bet that after this week and weekend we will see a very large spike in cases.

Local government and the State government both require travelers to self isolate for 2 weeks after their arrival.  No one is going to do that if they are only up here for the week or weekend.  Hell I doubt if they would do it anyway!  I understand that people are a bit stir crazy from all this but now they are putting all of us at risk just so they can have a good time.  And once everyone gets drinking I’m pretty sure that social distancing will be forgotten.

It is so frustrating to be doing the right thing and seeing that it is working then in a matter of days it all gets thrown to the wind because people from out of town come up here and don’t give a damn.  They might be forced to wear masks at home but by God they are on vacation!  They don’t have to!  Besides, everyone up here is relatively healthy so they don’t have to worry about catching anything.  Selfish bastards.

I apologize for the rant.  The kids and I ran to the vet to get their monthly medicine and M72 was packed with tourists.  I even saw plates from Texas and that really got me going because Texas and California are the two hot spots (oh and Florida) for the new outbreaks that are getting out of hand.  Yes, please come and share.  Grrrr…  And the fireworks.  The dogs don’t like it any more that the vets with PTSD.  But no one bothers to think about that.  Especially right now.  With everything going on it is showing how selfish people can be.

Chris has the rest of the week off.  If he wants to go anywhere I might have to say no unless we are riding the motorcycles.  And even then I will probably refuse to get off and go in anywhere.  Atleast on an a motorcycle I have my helmet and such.  I have fussed enough.  Thanks so much for listening.  Stay safe!

Animals, Cooking/Baking, Creativity, Dogs, family, Life, Nature, Photography, Thinking, Writing

Feeling Better, Being Busy

Thank you to everyone who reached out to me yesterday.  I am still playing catch up with everything.  I took a break form everything yesterday.  Mostly.  I did no social media or phone (Mom will be upset as a I turned the phone off).  I rested and read more Terry Pratchett.  That being said I still did dishes (three times… no four.  If I let dishes sit we get ants), trash went out, laundry got put away, plants got watered, front yard got mowed.  I had planned to do the back yard as well but I got an email from the paper asking me to cover a meeting last minute so I showered and attended the meeting.

I’m not sure what today holds.  Poor Chris was up around 9am.  For the day.  He only has to get through tonight and he has the rest of the week off.  He has more than earned it.  It will be fun to see how far he can get with the project bike this week.  I have been taking photos as he progresses.  I’m not sure what we will do with them but we’ll see.  I have a few ideas.   One thing I do need to do is read more in my camera book.  I am getting frustrated with not being able to get the rich colors of our sunsets and when I try to photograph the moon it turns out fuzzy.  Not crisp like it looks in the view finder.  Soooo I’m sure there is something to do about it that I don’t know.

The sky is cloudy today but it is still warm.  After all the full sun intense heat of yesterday this is a welcome reprieve.  I will need to get out and do my thing out on the deck instead of staying inside.  I can pile all my books and such in a bag and head out there once I finish this.

I hope to make the new puppy treat recipe today.  I still haven’t made any for the kids.  They have not seemed to mind much.  Atleast I have all the ingredients.  I will let you know what they think of it.  These will be the first ones since Moose was diagnosed with kidney disease.  Speaking of which he goes in on the 10th of July for a recheck.

I am in need of sitting down and figuring out what I need to do with my writing as well.  The newspaper is a nice steady but there are other projects that I am missing out on due to procrastination.  So a list needs to be made and priorities need to be made.  And followed through on.  And on that determined note I will sign off and get things moving here.  Thanks for reading!  Stay safe!

Dogs, Gardening, Life, Nature, Photography, Thinking

Making the Most of It All

This is another late one.  It seems that it doesn’t matter when I go to bed I can’t seem to get enough sleep.  Yesterday I did a lot of weed pulling.  A LOT.  Probably 6 or more great big wheelbarrows full (I am guestimating here as I hauled everything in bunches and dumped them with my arms).  I enjoyed it even if I was dripping in sweat by the time I was done.  I could see a huge difference.  And even when I said I was done I went out and would pick at it.  Oh look!  I didn’t see this patch that need to be cleaned!  That kind of thing.

I also was finally able to get some pictures of butterflies one the milkweed.  Every time I tried before the butterfly would leave.  I have the same problem with the birds.  I think they are slowly getting used to the camera so when I do pull it out it doesn’t freak them out and they leave.  I will share some of the butterfly shots on here today.

I just got my paperwork for renewing my driver’s license as well as tabs for both the motorcycle and Jeep.  I have the choice to do things online, via the mail or make an appointment to go in person.  It is weird to have them pushing do things without going in.  Normally there is next to no wait at the Secretary of State office here.  But I get it with the COVID-19 issues.  I’ve not decided which I will do yet.

Eeew… that last sip of cold coffee tasted like fish.  Blah!  Spit!  Spit!  Gah!  Big drink of water to get that taste out of my mouth!

Moose has his follow up appointment for his kidneys on the 10th of July.  It will be nice to be done with vet visits for awhile.  Which reminds me I have to get their monthly meds soon.  The 7th is the next dose.

WordPress is acting wonky (doing things like moving the cursor back to the top of the screen at random times) so I am going to wrap this up.  I hope you have a great day!  Thanks for reading!