Aging, Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Food, Gardening, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, the World, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Was This Supposed To Help?

My first instinct is to say a miserable day yesterday was. And it was. The procedure hurt like hell. Everyone was concerned because I was pretty much silent the whole time but when I got up I was balling my eyes out. Things took longer than anticipated. After all that I wanted to just go home and be with Chris and the girls. I still hurt worse than when I went in and some of the injection sites are tender and inflamed.

But I was able to spend some quality time with Mom and her girls. Bless her for being so understanding. I know I was a pain. But while we waited to got back to pick my phone up (the appointment was at 11:20am but I was told that they would need to keep it until 2pm to get the screen replaced… reasonable unless you just want to go home as soon as possible) we went to McDonald’s (I got a cheeseburger Happy Meal with extra fries) then back to Mom’s house. We ate and chatted then wandered out to her backyard. She had a metal trellis that she needed to get unstuck from a dying bush. She had sawed parts of it off to get it but she ran out of energy. After my procedure they said to do things that would normally hurt my back so I did. The first thing was to saw branches off to get the trellis loose. That accomplished we managed to get the trellis over the remaining bits of bush. I had to be careful because I noticed that there were green shoots coming out. I didn’t want to damage those if we could help it. Between us we managed to get the trellis free.

Things kind of went down hill from there. What they had injected into my back/spinal column wasn’t working. As a matter of fact I was feeling worse than when I went in. I was supposed to call around 2pm to give them an update. I couldn’t do that because I didn’t have my phone. I had to wait to get my phone because they were busy. (None of this is Best Buys fault. They were amazing! I brought my replacement screen protector for them to put on. Apparently the corner had something wrong with it. So they replaced my old one with one of theirs at no cost. They were also very accommodating to me with my back issues.) I did get my phone fixed and returned. It also has a new case to help when I managed to drop it again.

I got home in time to say goodbye to Chris as he left for work. I wanted to spend some time with him but it’s better than nothing. I did a few more things around the house to get ready for the end of the month (yes I know… I should’ve just taken it easy but I I figured I hurt already a little more was no big deal) and settled in to watch a horror movie before bed with the girls. (It was pretty good. It was called “The Mad Hatter” and I was pleasantly surprised. It wasn’t the greatest film ever made but it was actually pretty good.)

Today I have to get the yard mowed. I’m not sure how well this will go. Chris is home for the holiday weekend so his allergies are going to kick up. And then there is my back. As miserable as I am I need to atleast get the front yard mowed. The back might have to wait. I need to pick up a lot of fallen branches and I’m not sure that is a good idea right now.

I want to thank my awesome readers for the constant support. You guys and gals reaching out means a lot. I try to keep up with everyone but some days it is hard. So thank you for keeping up with me. And as always stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Writing

Changes Big and Small

This morning I broke out the Minion mug. Kevin has been sitting on my desk for a few months now just keeping and eye on things. With everything that is going on right now I needed some cheering up so Kevin has been filled with some flavored coffee from Dunkin Donuts (yes I am using their old name… it is what I grew up with).

The first change is that I am working today. It was supposed to be my day off but one of my coworkers is stuck in Kentucky with engine problems. The part won’t arrive until this morning (hopefully). So I was asked to work for her. I said yes because it is what I do. However…. that means I will be working 8 days straight. My next day off will be Thursday. Thursday morning is my appointment all the way in Traverse. Mom has to drive me because I’m not allowed to after my procedure. I also have a meeting that night. I will have Friday off instead of closing and having to be back at 7am Saturday morning.

The second change is a major change for the whole family. A family member will be moving in with us for a few months. After that few months we are going to see what happens. It will be a huge adjustment for all of us. This will hit the last week of September. Right after I get my colonoscopy lol.

So much so fast… one of my coworkers bought me a bottle of chocolate wine yesterday. He said he thought I might need it. I haven’t cracked it yet. It is still sitting in the fridge. I just don’t know what else to say. I am still trying to wrap my head around everything. Both have the potential to be good changes. That is what I am hanging on to. What can go right instead of what can go wrong.

I am going to try to relax a little before work. Thanks for reading and all the amazing support! Stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, the World, Thinking

Friends Are Family

Yesterday started out well but then went down hill and hit rock bottom. Chris stayed home because he was very sick. No idea what made him sick but it was bad. Things got a little better for him since he was able to keep down food but he still didn’t feel good. Then last night I got a text from a stranger. I had been trying to contact my good friend Linda (you might remember her from my posts about our monthly lunch dates) because the last I heard from her she was in the hospital because of her pain. We were hoping to be able to do our lunch date soon. Well this stranger was Linda’s daughter. Linda had died the previous night. The good news is that she was at home with her family and cats.

And there I stop. I can hear Essie’s tummy gurgling unhappily by the bedroom door. I am again worried about her. And again it happens on a Wednesday when the vet’s is closed. She didn’t eat dinner last night. She did not eat breakfast this morning. I don’t give her her medicine at night unless she has had a hard day of playing. So she didn’t have any meds since yesterday morning. She doesn’t eat random things she finds like her sister. They haven’t had any treats in several days. I have no idea why she has an upset stomach again.

So unlike the last few blog entries this one will be decidedly shorter. I have to go back to work today. My heart hurts. Hopefully I can stop crying. I hope Essie is ok but I feel that something is wrong. If I lose her too this year…

I hope everyone has a great day. Sorry for the downer post but that is where I am right now. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, the World, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Want to Do, Need to Do, What to Do?

Here we are with another beautiful morning. The insects are a constant buzz with the cicadas reigning supreme. It is very hot and humid already. A day to be lazy. But my mind whirls to dishes that need to be done, lawns that need to be mowed and….. It has been like that every time I have free time. My mind will not let go of stuff like that. I feel guilty that I am not doing anything. Then I fight the mental battle when I want to just relax or do something else and then nothing gets done. Or I do other things and feel guilty the whole time because nothing got done. I get so mad at myself…. but try and try again right? I have a meeting tonight but I plan do attend via Zoom. That is all I really have to do. Yes there is laundry (I did start that last night) and dishes and mowing but if I don’t do everything right away that is fine.

Grandpa’s flag is up on a top shelf here in the living room. I also brought out all the dog tags I have collected from family and draped them over the peak of the case. I need to make sure it stays dusted (I am awful at the whole dusting thing). I shared a photo with my family once I got it set up. I almost took Gram’s engagement ring off of there but it feels right to have in there. (I have her ring on with Grandpa’s dog tag.)

Dad and I were talking last night (over four hours) and I mentioned that I still want to learn Italian. I have the tools. Several years ago Dad got me Rosetta Stone Italian. I also have several books that Mom has gotten me as well as little cards that they used while learning Italian almost 50 years ago (Mom has the same set at her house). Do I start? Or am I putting too much on my already full plate? More excuses?

Listening to the rhythm of the cicadas as the song goes up and down like a wave. There is one right outside the door in a tree. It’s song just flowing. And more take up the same rhythm but at a different time. Just like sitting at the waters edge as the water laps at the shore. Sigh….

Visiting with my cousin Wyatt and seeing what he can do with a camera makes me want to learn more about photography. I think it is time to move on to the next chapter in my dvd course. I stopped at one point because I was trying to get a handle on how to use what I was being taught on the camera. I am comfortable now and I think I will move forward and see what is next. Mom and the girls got me a book on advanced photography. So that will come in handy. I want to learn to use what I have in my kit before I try to get more stuff. Wyatt has a full rig for his camera (which is a Cannon like Mom had) but is looking to upgrade several pieces. I think he had a total of three cameras. He’s looking to sell one and several lenses that he doesn’t use. I was sorely tempted but I’m not getting anything more until I am better and use everything that I have in my kit. There is a lot in there I have no idea what to do with.

My lower back is starting to spasm so I ought to wrap this up. My back has not been happy since I got back from my road trip Sunday night. Sorry this is so long but thanks for reading! Stay safe!

Aging, Animals, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Tattoos, the World, Thinking, Writing

My Story, My Ink

The heat of the day is steadily warming things up. The girls have been outside since we finished breakfast. It is a gorgeous day already. All this is enhanced by the fact that I have a four day weekend. My own mini vacation! Today will be me doing whatever until it is time to go get our tattoos. I do plan to try to get a hold of Dad. I want to add dirt to the memorial garden. It is not near deep enough. I also need to water the outside gardens and plants.

I can’t get over the beauty of my hand tattoo. It is truly much more than I had hoped for! I will also share a photo of today’s ink on the next blog. I am hoping to get a photo with all of us. I have had many compliments on my hand tattoo. And someone always seems to ask if I get tattoos just to get them or if they have some meaning behind them. All of my ink is there for a reason. It annoys me when people just get ink to say they have it. Their choice and all that but… Part of my reason for getting tattoos is something that has been a great punchline for many. I get them for when I get old. I want to look at them and remember my life. One of my great fears is that I will get Alzheimer’s or something similar that will take my mind. I want to have some record of my life and happiness for myself.

I have always been proud of my ink. People who see various pieces always get drawn into a conversation with me. If they don’t have any tattoos then it is the usual “did it hurt?” (some yes but mostly no) and “how many do you have?” (my Supernatural one today makes 13) but some ask more in depth ones like “why did you get this one?”. I always enjoy sharing my stories. It usually leads to them telling me some of their stories. Even those that are not really big on tattoos walk away from me and mine with atleast a little more respect for the art. The ones that really tickle me are the older folks. When they learn that each piece has a meaning it doesn’t seem like a fad to them. Many of them have gone on to get a tattoo. It might be a small piece to remember someone or something that happened. Or it might just be a piece that makes them smile. It is always fun when they come back to show me what they got done. That is what makes me smile.

Well I have gone on enough. I will add a few photos (I’ll even add a few of my tattoos) and get this posted. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Writing

Adulting…. I Don’t Wanna

I did too much yesterday. I didn’t hurt too much so I buzzed along like I had no issues. I am paying for it now. But I got a lot accomplished so I am happy. The new schedule comes out either today or tomorrow. I am apprehensive because if I am not able to use a vacation day somewhere I will end up feeling worse than I do now. That will be atleast a 7 day stretch between days off.

Since I have the day off I am contemplating just hanging outing the yard after my consult (the whole thing just makes me angry) this afternoon. This morning however I am getting my hair trimmed. I need to leave here in about…. half an hour.

There is a rather large blue jay hanging out at the feeder. I still need to get some hooks so that I can hang the feeder somewhere instead of propping it up in the tree (I don’t mind doing it for the winter). I am sad that summer is going so fast. Some of that is all the hours working. I miss enjoying it. I think I might ask for some time off next summer. Especially since I was the manager for the 4th of July (it is our Thanksgiving…. Black Friday is the beginning of the busy season for regular retailers). So we’ll see. Both girls are outside sunning themselves.

I do have my next appointment for my back though. I got that phone call this morning. September 2nd. Day after my eldest son’s birthday. I just want to stay home… I am tired of doing all my running on my days off. One day off that is actually a day off once every few weeks does not help.

Ok, clock says that need to get moving. Thanks for reading ❤ Stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Gardening, Life, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Writing

Aaaaand More Storms

I rode on the coat tails of a good sleep last night. There were more storms yesterday. I was at work for the worst of them unfortunately. I felt guilty because the girls were home alone. That being said the storms from the night before knocked out power to a good portion of the area. A lot of wash out on the roads as well as a lot of trees down. We even had a bridge wash out!

Yesterday was sunny until a little before I was getting ready to go to work. Then the dark clouds started to roll in. Today is supposed to be nice….??? I did get some gardening done before work yesterday. A lot of it was picking up branches in the yard. Some of them were a good size. I see more to get today though.

Soooo the big annoyance of the week? No colonoscopy tomorrow. Yeah. I called Monday and left a message (after about 15 minutes on hold) since I hadn’t heard anything about getting the nasty stuff to drink for the procedure or to verify my appointment. They called me back Tuesday. It is just supposed to be a consultation. I’m sorry what?! All this time I had been told that it was the actual procedure and both of us took the day off and it ‘s just going to be a consult?! I was and am pissed off. On the plus side I am still getting my hair cut that morning.

Both girls are snoozing. I think the humidity will be up again today. I feel like we are living in the tropics. I thought about putting out my swing but if I am going in early to put the rest of the liquor order out before my shift starts I might need to just leave it til tomorrow. Sunday morning might see an early early post as well. I have another liquor order coming in tomorrow so if I don’t get all that put out Saturday I may come in early on Sunday and stay. I am already going in at 5am to let the deli manager in so I might just stay and get the liquor order finished. We’ll see.

I’d better wrap this up and get a few things accomplished around here before I have to leave. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Nature, Photography, Reading, the World, Thinking, Writing

Taking Time to Breathe

Ahhhhhh sleep. ❤ I crashed out early last night and Essie let me sleep until 8am. A blessed 10 hours of virtually uninterrupted sleep (there were a few times I woke but I was able to fall back asleep). I can’t begin to tell you how needed that was!

The sun came out for a little bit but the thick clouds have moved in and tucked the sun and blue sky away. Rain is in the forecast and I am ok with that. I might even *gasp* take a nap later. I am going to do my best to just relax today. There are a few things that are niggling at me to be done. I will try to ignore them. I know that I will succumb to atleast one but that is ok. My goal today is not to worry. Just go with the flow. I have no meeting tonight, just tomorrow morning. So I have no excuses.

The birds seem happy with the placement of the bird feeder. I will put it back in the tree when it gets cold but for now it is in a spot where the chipmunks can’t get to it. I also need to figure out what to do when my pumpkins start to grow. I already have several large blossoms and I know that the chipmunks will eat them before they get very big. Suggestions are welcome.

I have an acquaintance that has asked me to edit his short story. This would normally be an easy decision but he is from Argentina and even though he is an English teacher and can speak the language his writing needs help. The last piece I tried to help him with was very difficult. He wanted me to write a review for the book but I could not. I can’t write a review of something for a friend when I cannot find something to like in the piece. There is no nice way to put it. I did not want to hurt his feelings. So he has asked me to help him with a piece that he hopes to get a Bram Stoker Award with. (For those that don’t know it is like getting an Emmy for horror writers.) It is an intimidating task. He has offered to pay me. After much thought I set a price and said that it would be subject to change depending on the amount of work involved. I also asked for a sample page from the piece. I got the whole piece. So. I gave myself a few days to look at it and decide. That is something I plan to do today.

The countdown to Friday begins. I have my colonoscopy. I still haven’t heard from anyone. No call to make sure that I was still doing my appointment. No go here or here to get the nasty stuff to drink. I may call myself if I don’t hear anything.

I will wrap this up and got grab my journal. This is the only writing I have been able to do over the past few days. I will share a few photos as well. Thanks to all my readers for not only taking the time to read my posts but also for the supportive comments as well. I really appreciate all of you!❤ Stay safe!

anxiety, dreams, Emotions, family, Life, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Writing

I See… I See…. Sleep? Naw

Another cram session for writing this morning. I need the sleep so I did the 5:30am wake up again. I just need to make it to 2pm today. Yesterday went pretty quick despite the rude people. I am hoping for more of the same quickness today. Not so much the rude people. Then I have tomorrow off. And I can sleep in! Wheeeee!

It is supposed to be more rain today. The wind seems to be picking up. It is a struggle to keep my eyes open this morning. It will probably be another early night tonight but this time I can get as much sleep as I want. I am very excited about that!

Tomorrow it will be a week until my birthday. The month is going by too fast. That means that fall is just around the corner! Then the dreaded winter…. It’s creepy when I talk about the rain and I look down on my screen to see the phrase “rain coming.”

Ok, I need to get this wrapped up and posted. I just looked at the clock. I hope you have an amazing day! Thanks for reading and thank you for all the great comments and support! Stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Writing

Skunks and Storms

This is supposed to be short and sweet this morning. I took an extra 30 minutes of sleep. I was all ready to got to bed at a decent time when the storms started rolling through. So I stayed up longer to spend time with Chris since the girls were both shaking and panting in my lap (I apparently wasn’t getting sleep anyway so…). Twice the girls calmed down and twice thunder and lightening started back up. Then if that wasn’t enough fun I threw toys for the girls hoping to get them to go potty when I smelled the tell tale scent. We had spooked a skunk. So I hustled the girls back in before it got too bad. It took about another hour before the scent dissipated. Once it did no one would stay out long enough to go to the bathroom. Frustrated I got ready for bed and finally went to sleep.

Once asleep though my dreams were real. I had a tough time waking myself. You know when nothing odd happens in your dreams? Things go on like they would in “real life”? That was me. I cracked an eye every little while to check the clock and fell right back in the dream where I left off. Things still feel a bit off.

And on that odd note I need to let you go. Work beckons and since I am opening manager and gas I need to get there a little early…. didn’t think about that til just now. Nuts. Have a great day! Thanks for reading and stay safe!