Aging, Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, Exercise, family, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Tattoos, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Through the Looking Glasses

Well we now have around a foot (30cm) of snow. It came down hard over the course of yesterday. It lays in thick drifts all over, even in the trees. Stella looks so lonely when she goes out now. I wonder how Spring will be. I am thinking of getting her a harness and then she and I start going for walks at the local park. It will get both of us out. I mentioned it to Chris to see if he wants to go along.

Laundry is wreaking havoc in the utility room by the sounds of it. Things keep falling off the machine as it spins the clothes out. I have no idea why. It is not a different load than normal. Stella keeps getting spooked when something crashes to the floor. I think she is realizing that Essie isn’t coming home again. I am not sure how she is dealing with it. Over the past week or so they both got very jealous of each other. They could be close at times but I just don’t know. I also don’t know how she will react the next time she goes to the vet. Normally she likes to go because she is a very social girl but after this? I know that there was a big change in the dogs when I brought Minion’s body home. After that they didn’t want to go to the vet’s.

I just have to get through today and I have 2 days off. I am going to need my alone time to process everything. I am also going to design Essie’s memorial tattoo. It will be her paw in my hand (I have a photo) and I am getting under my left bicep so that when I put my arm down I she is next to my heart. I am also using some of her ashes in the ink. I want to come up with a tattoo that represents all of my fur babies over the years. I am thinking of maybe just a never-ending line of script of all their names. Just have it wrap around my body. I will also need to see how much this will cost. I have to make sure bills get paid.

The house is so quiet. Essie was such a big personality…. Stella is busy but it is a different energy than Essie. And the fact that we are all cooped up in the house doesn’t help. I wonder what Stella will do Wednesday when we are both gone to work. Tuesday night I have a meeting (please self don’t forget the meeting) so it will be a small taste for her on her own. I worry about her. I worry about all of us. Maybe I will take Stella for a ride tomorrow. Just a drive around then back home to get her out. I still have the blanket in the back seat from Essie (my seat covers are cold this time of year).

I think I will wrap this up and see if I can do some work on my novel. Thanks for reading and I really appreciate the outpouring of love. Much love back to you all! Stay safe.

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Guitar, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Music, Nature, Photography, retail, Tattoos, the World, Thinking, Writing

Contemplations: Life, Love, Happiness and Banana Chips

Moose’s anniversary started with a beautiful sunrise. Once I got Essie out after eating she did the strangest thing. She was sniffing along the back fence line like she was looking for something. She stopped right at Moose’s grave and just stood and stared. Then she woofed and bounced at his grave like something was there. I thought maybe she saw a deer or something but there was nothing there.

I bought some banana chips to share with Moose today. It was our special treat together. It was one of the few things we could still share together after the got sick. Stella will eat them but Essie mostly won’t. That’s ok.

Essie still hasn’t gone potty that we have seen but we have missed a lot. This morning was a good example. I kept repeating that I needed to watch her while she was outside but I completely forgot because Stella decided that she wasn’t going out so I was trying to convince her to go out when I realized that Essie had been out for a few minutes already. When I got to the door all she was doing was sniffing around. But I will try my best to keep a closer eye on her the rest of the day.

In bed last night I made another to do list. It is all pretty straight forward. Things like work on my novel, make my list of meetings for work for the month (I guess the store manager is going on vacation and making several weeks in advance), work on my guitar, clean out my wooden fountain pen (I really want to like this pen… but it is such a hassle to get the ink to flow enough to write with that it is quickly becoming an expensive paperweight) and take photos (I should be uploading to my web site as well).

I am debating about getting another tattoo. I have several ideas on what I want but I am not sure what to do next. I am leaning toward more butterflies. I want to get local butterflies on random spots. I have my Monarch (I get so many compliments on it!) and I really love the detail work he did on it. Soooo I would like to get that same effect all over. The other one I want is something to do with books. I just can’t come up with a good concept. So I guess I can scour my photos for butterflies and see about getting a few.

Another goal today is to clean out my long window box. It will fit in the kitchen windows so my goal is to get the nasty dirt out from the mess I got from work and fill it with the Miracle Gro that I have. From there I will start some seeds going. It is a sunny set of windows and there is a heater vent near by so it will stay warm. I thought about moving George there (he is my new succulent) but it would be awfully lonely for him. He needs direct sunlight so I have him on the shelves by the sliding glass door. I just worry that it is too cold for him. That being said he is doing fine so far. Sooooo….

Ok I had better stop of now. I am just rambling on. I want to thank everyone one for their kind words over the past week. It means a lot. I hope you all have an amazing day. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Tattoos, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Squeaking One In

Aaaaaand here we are again. Only a few hours after going to bed. I have a few minutes to get this written before I have to wake Chris. He is going to a firearms training class. We were both going to go but I don’t feel comfortable enough with my gun to attend so I didn’t get the day off. However I do have to work this morning. The nice thing is that I get out at 2pm and I have tomorrow off.

I should have something exciting to write about too. We are planning to got to one of the haunted house events in Traverse. That is if we are both up for it. It has been a full week for both of us so as night creeps in our eyes may creep shut. We are both excited to go so we shall see.

I am still battling with my camera to get decent colors with my Nikon. I was trying to get some foliage shots since the trees are finally turning colors and when I look at them the reds are almost non existent. Fiery maple trees look washed out. I ended up taking a bunch of photos with my phone camera. The colors with that are much more vibrant. It is very frustrating. Especially since the photos I take with the Nikon I can condense so I can share more on here without having to delete old photos. The photos I take with the phone take up more space and I have all but filled my media capacity on here. If anyone has any suggestions or ideas on what to do to improve the color quality on the Nikon I am all ears!

I am clock watching. A little bit longer to write. I have a few new tattoo ideas. They are small pieces so I might be able to do them both and cheaply. I wat to get a small white butterfly on my right wrist above the Monarch and I want to get the symbol ; because this represents “a message of affirmation and solidarity against suicide, depression, addiction and other mental health issues” (Dictionary.com). Since I have suffered from several of these and so do many loved ones I would like to get it. I told Dad about it and he got a bit teary.

Ok. The clock says I need to wrap this up. I will add photos from the Nikon only this morning. I don’t have time to go and delete old photos to share the bunch I got with my phone. Thanks for your suggestions and comments in advance! And thanks for reading! Stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, Reading, Tattoos, Thinking, Writing

Gratitude and Relaxation

The bird feeder has been filled and apparently it is a blue jay restaurant this morning. Three big males have been dominating the scene. Holy cow! There’s like 10 of them out there! I peeked out to see and if they are not at the feeder they are on the ground. Busy place this morning! A bit chillier than yesterday. And wet. Oh my gosh! There’s even a bunny! I just saw a set of small brownish ears pop up.

Well at this time yesterday I was filled with anxiety and crabbiness headed up to the top floor at the hospital with Chris. Everything turned out fine and everyone was extremely nice despite my less than sunny disposition when I got there. Mind you by the time I left I was a chatty Cathy lol. I shared stories as well as tattoos. I stopped in the bathroom just before I left and when I stepped back out there were about 10 people waiting. Word of my Monarch butterfly tattoo got out so everyone came to see. I also got to show off my Supernatural tattoo as well as my dragons on my back. When I left I received a very nice thank you card as well as a mug with a packet of Nestle hot cocoa.

The girls pushed their way out the door when we got home. Lol. Essie wasn’t taking no for an answer and shouldered her way past Chris and the door. Little blessing! We were just as grateful to be home.

We seem to be getting a lot of cardinals this year. There is a very young female at the feeder. Every year brings new and different birds to the yard! Well today’s goal is to get working on my novel. I have done a page almost every other day. I hadn’t noticed that was the pattern until I went to type it in here. But anyway I want to get a bit more done. I pulled out my latest issues of my writing magazines in bed last night and was reading. Several articles fit where I am going in my story so I have added push to keep at it.

That being said I supposed I out to get at it. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Tattoos, Thinking, Writing

Pushing to Move Forward

This morning I sit here at the table coffee in hand. Stella is on her back sleeping chasing something. Essie will come over every once in a while to see if I am done, see that I am not then go back and lay in front of the bedroom door. I glance out the sliding glass door to the cooler overcast day outside. I try not to think if the friends I have lost this year.

One remarkable bit though. The other day when I asked what Linda’s favorite butterfly was (I had planned to get a memorial tattoo for her) her daughter said that she would get back to me on it. When she did it turned out that it was a Monarch. I immediately took a quick photo of my new tattoo and sent it to her explaining that I had just gotten it. So I guess this tattoo is for both of us.

Essie has noticed that I stopped typing. I heard her get up. Then she heard the keys clicking and went to lay back down. She is such a busy girl! But I can go outside and she is content to do her own thing. She is eating again and taking her medicine. I am very grateful.

I wasn’t up to work yesterday. To add to that we got a brand new system at work. No one got any training. No manual or paperwork. Just figure it out as you go and hope you don’t screw it up. Not a fan of that. Neither was anyone else. So I get to try it all over again today since I am gas. Then I have to figure out how to close and open it Friday and Saturday. Not looking forward to either one.

I did get a page written on my novel. That is a step in the right direction. I have to be to work a little earlier today than yesterday so I’d better wrap this up if I am going to work on the novel again. One day at a time. I can hear Linda telling me that in my head. I miss her. Have a great day and thanks for reading. Stay safe.

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Food, Friends, Holiday, Learning, Life, Movies, Nature, Photography, Tattoos, Thinking, Travel, Writing

New Tattoos and Halloween Festivities

Another day full of ink and fun is in the books! Two of the four of us never had any tattoos. Even though she had a panic attack part way through once she was done my friend Erin was ready to plan her next bunch of tattoos. I am so proud of her! She got angry with herself because she had the panic attack but we talked her through it and our artist was amazing with her. He had her laughing loud at some points.

I went first, then Chris, Erin and Jim. We all got essentially the same thing in the same spot. Chris and I were the oddballs. Mine went on my back because Moose’s paw is where everyone else put their piece. Chris has the words “Death Is Certain, Life Is Not” in runes at the top and bottom of his piece. The ink will remain with us forever and mean even more to all of us because we were together to support each other when we got them.

Other plans were made once we were all together again chatting. As Halloween is a massive favorite (Chris is really just along for the ride, he enjoys it but not like the rest of us do…. which is to say that we love horror and Halloween year round) we decided to do another movie night but this time over several days if I can get the time off. We did it last year in lieu of the movie marathon we did at a local theatre in Traverse the year before. (There were games and prizes and we watched the Halloween horror movies til around 6am. I have my certificate on the wall still.) And since it will be a cheat day for their keto diets we can get pizza, wings and have popcorn. We might even dress up! I am thinking of trying to go to one of the local haunts. There is an amazing one in Traverse. I have a friend that works it every year (he’s a big tall guy… I think 6’3″ or something like that so he towers over most people) and keeps telling me I need to come. The last time Chris and I went we had a blast. So I am thinking that I might throw that out as an option.

Tonight is the first night of the full moon. Tomorrow will be the official Blue Moon, the biggest and best of the year according to the astronomers. I got some really cool night shots last night with the camera that I will share. Truthfully I prefer a bit of cloud cover when photographing the moon at night. It give a very awesome light contrast.

I should wrap this up. I need to get myself ready for my trip downstate to see my family. Chris and the kids are staying home. I am strangely calm about it all. For now. I think part of it is that I am in pain with my back. Not the tattoo mind you but my lower back really hates me. Anyway I will share a few shots from yesterday. I will have a photo of my full back tomorrow to share. I really like how the new tattoo goes with my dragons! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Tattoos, the World, Thinking, Writing

My Story, My Ink

The heat of the day is steadily warming things up. The girls have been outside since we finished breakfast. It is a gorgeous day already. All this is enhanced by the fact that I have a four day weekend. My own mini vacation! Today will be me doing whatever until it is time to go get our tattoos. I do plan to try to get a hold of Dad. I want to add dirt to the memorial garden. It is not near deep enough. I also need to water the outside gardens and plants.

I can’t get over the beauty of my hand tattoo. It is truly much more than I had hoped for! I will also share a photo of today’s ink on the next blog. I am hoping to get a photo with all of us. I have had many compliments on my hand tattoo. And someone always seems to ask if I get tattoos just to get them or if they have some meaning behind them. All of my ink is there for a reason. It annoys me when people just get ink to say they have it. Their choice and all that but… Part of my reason for getting tattoos is something that has been a great punchline for many. I get them for when I get old. I want to look at them and remember my life. One of my great fears is that I will get Alzheimer’s or something similar that will take my mind. I want to have some record of my life and happiness for myself.

I have always been proud of my ink. People who see various pieces always get drawn into a conversation with me. If they don’t have any tattoos then it is the usual “did it hurt?” (some yes but mostly no) and “how many do you have?” (my Supernatural one today makes 13) but some ask more in depth ones like “why did you get this one?”. I always enjoy sharing my stories. It usually leads to them telling me some of their stories. Even those that are not really big on tattoos walk away from me and mine with atleast a little more respect for the art. The ones that really tickle me are the older folks. When they learn that each piece has a meaning it doesn’t seem like a fad to them. Many of them have gone on to get a tattoo. It might be a small piece to remember someone or something that happened. Or it might just be a piece that makes them smile. It is always fun when they come back to show me what they got done. That is what makes me smile.

Well I have gone on enough. I will add a few photos (I’ll even add a few of my tattoos) and get this posted. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Tattoos, Thinking, Writing

Facing the Inevitable

I am feeling very solemn this morning. In my dreams last night I watched as my Mother died. It was one of those where she was ready to go but couldn’t. I cried a lot in my dream. I can still see her body wrapped in a blanket once she died. I do not like this feeling. It will be coming soon enough.

Ok. Positive things…. I did get my tattoo yesterday. It turned out better than I’d hoping for. (I just stopped myself from using ! because it was too boisterous… I need to shake off this sadness!) The photos I took/had taken do not do it justice. It literally looks like a butterfly is resting on my hand. It is so delicate and beautiful… I am very very happy with it. I have also decided to get pictures of various butterflies that visit tattooed in various spots on my body. My goal is to look like they just landed. And with the realism that my artist can tattoo it will be amazing!

I got some nice photos yesterday of critters in the garden. I also got a few of the moon last night. It wasn’t a full moon but it still looked cool shrouded in clouds. I will share as much as I can. I will probably need to go through and delete some old ones to get more room for the new. But I am proud of the new ones. I need to get more on my photography site. I have really been neglecting that side of things.

Oh and one more bright spot. Yesterday was my 1000th day in a row of posting. 😁 I am pretty proud of that. Now if I can get some of that energy and determination into my photography site….

I’m going to wrap this up so I can add the photos and get this posted. I may see about adding to my photography site as well. Since they are on my phone I can add them easily to the site. What takes so long is adding the descriptions and search words. I have to have atleast 5 search words for each photo. And thank you to my loyal readers… your staying around to read and comment on my work means a lot. It doesn’t feel like I am writing in a vacuum. Stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Food, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Tattoos, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Mental Sparring

I can tell I have my my medication for my back in my system again. I slept hard and deep last night. The only times that I woke up were when I felt a dog get off the bed. Sadly it was Essie. Her tummy isn’t well again. I need to find out what is wrong. And the vet’s office is closed today. So process of elimination time.

On some more positive notes today is the day I get my Monarch tattoo. I will share a photo in tomorrow’s post. I am super stoked about this! Another positive is the hand written birthday card I got from a coworker yesterday. On the inside she wrote: “Happy Birthday! Thank you for being a Big sister and being someone I can look up to. Your so much fun to be around! Love you Lots!” It brought several tears to my eyes. She is such a sweet young woman and has been through so much this past year. (And yes I know she should’ve written “you’re” instead of “your” but I chose to ignore that.)

I have to laugh because it seems that it will be a week of birthday celebrations instead of just one day. I have so much going on that I feel like my birthday is almost every day! I am trying not to psych myself out of driving down to Bay City on Sunday. And I have to go. Not only are two of my distant relatives arriving (and I mean distant in distance from me) but the family also voted to keep the family dinner on Sunday when I can be there instead of Monday for when the “missing” uncle can get there (he seems to always want another day just for him because he can never make it when everyone else can.) I know I can do the drive and Angus certainly can. It will be my first road trip with him too. But my mind wants to stay home where it is safe. My mind creates all these scenarios in which I can potentially be hurt. Not just physically but mentally as well. So my defense is to not think about it until the day arrives. The problem is my brain is still thinking about it in the mental box that I crammed it in. So when the day arrives the metal box pops open like some demented jack-in-the-box and all the mess that it has been thinking about comes pouring out like hot lava trying to burn away all the good. I am hoping that sharing on here will get rid of some of the pressure in that mental box. An air hole if you will.

I should wrap this up for now. I look forward to sharing the photo of the new tattoo with all of you tomorrow! Oh and the photo of the bunnies is fuzzy because it was taken through two panes of glass at our backdoor. I didn’t want to spook them by opening the door. Thanks to everyone for taking the time to read this today! Stay safe!

Aging, Animals, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Food, Friends, Gardening, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, Tattoos, Thinking, Writing

Today Is My Birthday… What?!

Today is the first post of the last year in my 40s. It is kind of freaky to think that this time next year I will be 50 years old. 😯 My first birthday gift was from the girls. They let me sleep as long as I wanted this morning. ❤ I have already received a beautiful card from my Mother-in-law. A regular from work is taking me out for lunch this afternoon. (Don’t worry, he is pushing 90 years old and is a dear sweet man. I even got to meet and chat with his daughter while she was up. A very nice woman.) Both my parents are sending gifts (sneaky surprises since I said no gifts were necessary) which will arrive some time this week (why celebrate just one day when it can be all week!). Chris is paying for my tattoo on Wednesday. I caught some chipmunks sneaking into the house… maybe they were going to sing me happy birthday? I doubt it though, lol. And another gift… I don’t have any meetings this week. I thought I had one tomorrow night but it is next Tuesday. Yay!

Not only did I get good sleep last night but I woke up in a wonderful mood. It has been a while for that. Normally days off end up getting crammed with appointments and meetings. This will be a nice change. I am worried about Stella though. When I woke up she was sleeping on the floor. I have never seen her do that overnight. I know she was in bed for some of the night but on the floor? I would’ve expected her to go on the couch in the living room. And I’m not sure if she was eating grass out in the yard. She ate breakfast fine. Hmmmm. She was actually very good yesterday while we had company. She listened very well for the most part.

I may putter in the yard this morning or just hang out in my swing and read. I might even pull out one or both of the novels and knock the dust off of them. I want to stay in my happy mind frame today. Essie is out in the yard doing her thing. I think I will wrap this up and throw a few toys for the girls. I know they were tired last night from all the playing. Thanks for all the wonderful comments and support! And as always stay safe!