Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Tattoos, Thinking, Writing

Time to Do

This morning has dawned rainy and cool. And that is ok. The downside of that is with all the rain is that the grass has grown shaggy. So that means a run on the mower later this week. I also need to trim back a few trees and bushes. I didn’t make any lists yesterday, but I did spend some time writing in my journal. I am going to try for my lists today.

I woke feeling a bit scattered. My thoughts and feelings seem to be all over the place. Going out and sitting in my chair (which is now on the porch by the sliding glass door) might help but I think I need to start doing things instead of thinking about it.

Yesterday I swapped the bistro set (I pulled out the second chair) and my blue chair. I was sitting trying to write in my blue chair and I was being plagued by biting flies. I would barely get a word written and I was swatting at a fly. If I ignored any of them, I got bit. So I put the chair on the porch and the bistro set on the grass and set the new umbrella beside them. Funny thing is now that they are there, I will need to move them to mow. Ah well.

This morning Stella stayed in bed. She was a cuddle bug all night. At one point we were sharing a pillow. Since Chris has this week off it will be good for her. She will be able to go in and out as she pleases.

A week from tomorrow I am getting my tattoo fixed. I am dreading having to deal with the artist. I don’t want the hostility. I am hoping he will surprise me and be civil. I will miss going to him. His prices were reasonable and for the most part I have loved all his work. But there it is. No more spontaneous tattoos! lol.

I should wrap this up and get myself doing something. I have some photos from yesterday to share. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

anxiety, Books, Creativity, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Tattoos, Thinking, Travel, Writing

June Fun In The Sun

It looks like it wants to rain. I hope it does. I repotted a bunch of plants yesterday and pulled everyone outside. They could all use the rain despite my watering them all yesterday. I think I will need to check everyone every day now. Not all of them need to be watered every day but I find a lot of them are drying out quickly. The big repotting project was the peppers. I separated them into the long window box and several pots. They all seem to be handling the move well.

I decided I am going to take the month of June off from the paper. I have so much going on this month I would miss several of them as it is. I hope they can find someone. I just sent the email so we’ll see how it goes. It will be one less thing that I have to juggle. I said I would be able to step back in for July.

I paid for my class this morning. So I need to remember that I have class on Thursday nights all of June. Hopefully I continue to get Fridays off! I need to let my boss know what is going on too. There are also graduations that I have been invited to and I need to make it to Bay City to see my aunt. Aaaand I guess they changed the date for one of my graduations. I need to get next Saturday off. Fudge. I was told one date and now it is another. Right.

My goal for the writing class is… well there are two. The first is that I will have a publishable finished piece when I am done. The second is that I will have some momentum for my novel. I seem to have petered out. I am just so exhausted all the time. I’m tired of cramming everything in as well. So June will be my month to try to prove that I can write with things going on around me.

I also need to set up an appointment to get my tattoo fixed. That will happen on the first. I will message as soon as I get up. I will get the appointment set up hopefully before I go downstate. But we’ll see if he puts me off. I love all the other work I have gotten from him. Just no portraits. I don’t know how our relationship will be after this.

I still have some quiet time left so I think I will wrap this up and pull out my novel. Maybe push for a page of writing today. Warm up some coffee and get to it! Thank you for all your kind words and support! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Emotions, Learning, Life, Nature, Tattoos, Thinking, Writing

To Make Mistakes And Move On

I had such great plans for yesterday but all I got was stress. I don’t like people being mad at me, but I also have to stand up for myself. My tattoo artist will fix my tattoo (he thinks that it his best work) but I am pretty sure that neither of us will be seeing each other again. He tried to suggest simple things he could do that might “fix” the way it looks. Then he showed me a piece that he could put over the portrait opposite the mask. I really like that one. I told him so. Then I am accused of bad mouthing him in public (which I did not). He was polite about it and I was polite back. Funny thing is that is probably what got him to respond to my messages. Anyway I am completely stressed out by the whole thing. I have to wait a month for what I have to heal. I am looking forward to the result but going back there not a fan. And the other tattooer was there on the couch on his phone but I knowing him he was probably videoing the whole thing incase something happened. He’s a nut job anyway.

Just when I get my anxiety under control it is time for the meeting. Fortunately the Zoom like worked because the snow stuck and the roads were a bit slick. It was a long meeting but interesting. I am curious to see what will happen regarding some of the buildings going up. Then at the end I was told of an error I had made in my last article on that meeting. As soon as the meeting was over I sent the paper an email regarding the mistake and I included it in the article. Hopefully that has all my bases covered. But the mistake made me feel like a failure. I’m not but the emotions say otherwise.

Instead of writing what I got done was laundry, dishes and I watered the plants. Oh and my high tops and tennis shoes got washed and are drying. Before I leave I need to fill the bird feeder. I am now out of time. I gotta get ready to go. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, Tattoos, Thinking, Writing

It That…. SUN?!

I stayed in bed late. And that is ok. The last dream I had I was a werewolf and I was hunting with Sam and Dean Winchester. I was gooooood! It was nice to be able to take out my anger and aggression. It was one of my favorite dreams.

Stella keeps laying down beside me. She goes and gets a toy then comes back. I know she wants to play and play outside but I need to get this done. I also talked with Dad yesterday so that leaves me free to do whatever today. Whatever is going to be a concentrated effort on my novel. I have not worked on it for various reasons and today needs to be the day. My goal is to spend time in it every day. Another thing I ought to do is make a daily schedule and chart to track myself. I also need to make myself accountable for these goals. That will take some thought but after I get some work done on my novel.

Stella has been very attentive. I am not sure why. I have been pretty good at taking her for a walk every few days or so. It gets us both out onto the property and walking. I might bring my camera today. The problem comes in with her leash. It is shorter so either of us can easily jerk the other one. But one thing I have noticed are good photo opportunities. I also need to get over to my neighbor’s to take some photos before she starts clearing out her trees.

Today I must also brace myself for Chris’ critique of my new tattoo. The swelling has gone down so I will try to get a photo today. I am extremely self-conscious about this because Chris is an artist in his own right. I value his opinion but if it is not the same as mine then I am left second guessing myself.

I have laundry going so that can keep going in the background as I work on my writing. I think I may venture outside to do it. The sun is out (once again the “brief rain shower at 10:37am” did not happen… they need to quit asking me if I want to upgrade to premium; why would I pay for them to be wrong?!) and despite the chill I think it would be a good day to be outside. I must resist the siren call of gardening until after my work on my novel is done. Speaking of which I need to get this posted and get working! Thank you so much for all your support! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, Gardening, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Tattoos, Thinking, Writing

Hmmmmmm….

Stella and I are snuggled up on the love seat together. I have been trying to type and navigate on my phone while I scratch and love on her. It hasn’t worked well for me. Stella ,however, has been happily moaning as she gets her face and ears rubbed. She can barely keep her eyes open.

I am not 100% sure about my ink. I will be more sure about it once the swelling goes down. I’ve never had a piece so raw after a sitting. That being said I’ve not had a piece that so concentrated other than my dragon on my shoulder.

It has been raining all night off and on. The weekend is supposed to be warm summer like temperatures. With more rain. But we’ll see. Even with rain if It will be that warm I will open the windows on the house to air things out. We can use it.

I did get some nice photos yesterday but I will have to save them for tomorrow. I don’t have time to get things downloaded etc. I am working the early shift and I don’t know what chaos I am walking into. A coworker messaged me that we had four of our eight pumps down last night when we closed. Which means that it will be interesting today. On that not I bud you adieu. Have a great day! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Cooking/Baking, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Food, Friends, Gardening, Guitar, Learning, Life, Love, Music, Nature, Photography, Reading, Tattoos, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Learning and Loving

It is a good sign. The sun is out. It’s not exactly warm but it will have to do. I may take Stella out for a walk on the property, just to get her out of the house. I thought about taking her with for my tattoo but that will be a several hour process and I am pretty sure that she doesn’t want to be stuck in the car for that long.

I am hoping to enhance the final product of the tattooing by telling him that I plan to send a photo to both Kane Hodder as well as the magazine HorrorHound of the finished piece. Fingers crossed! 1:30pm is my appointment. I need to leave a few minutes early to go to an ATM to get the money out. I am both excited and apprehensive. I know that he has but a lot of time and effort into the flash work for this. (Flash work is the drawing the artist makes so you can see what is going to be tattooed on you. Usually this will be a general outline with as little or no detail as the artist chooses. This will also be the stencil that is used on the body for the piece.) And I know that he wants to go as big as he can to get in the detail on Kane’s face. But I just can’t spend $500 on a tattoo right now. That was the price for the size that he had drawn up. I about choked.

There is so much that I want to do and learn! I don’t know where to start! I was looking for a book I had gotten on local rocks (it seems to have grown legs and wandered off) and I see my dvds for photography, writing, yoga… Then there are all the research books I have. Archaeology, learning to write ancient Egyptian, learning Italian, learning Latin, learning French (a refresher for me since I had it in both high school and college, but I am very rusty). And don’t get me started on all the gardening and cooking books and magazines (mostly acquired from Mom)! There is just soooo much! Oh, and sailing. I forgot about that one. And guitar. I have a LOT of guitar stuff from previous classes. But you get the idea. There is so much that I am interested in and want to learn/learn about that I honestly don’t know where to start. Maybe I do. If I write everything on individual slips of paper and put them in a container, I can pull them out at random. Maybe spend a week working on whatever it is then put the slip back in the jar.

Yesterday was Stella’s Gotcha Day. I found her on the side of the road four years ago on that day. Today Essie has been gone 3 months exactly. I look on the table beside the laptop and I see my glass and silver heart box that I got at the resale shop the last time Linda and I were together. Moose’s scarf (that he always tried to shake off) is tied to my leather satchel. Good memories and bad this morning. I’m trying not to get bogged down by the bad. I have plenty to be thankful for and a big future ahead of me. Stella is sitting beside me telling me that there is love and attentions that need to be given at this moment. So I’d better wrap this up. I don’t have any new photos to share but I will share Stella’s Easter photo. I might even send it to Cadbury candy to see if she can be the next Cadbury bunny! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, Tattoos, Thinking, Writing

Little Frustrations, Bigger Plans

The morning has dawned dark and windy. The snow and rain have stopped, for now. Everyone is complaining of the cold. Even some of my cold lovers are weary of it. I am planning a barbeque, so I hope the weather clears up in time. My friend should be coming back the second week of May. At least that is the plan so far. I remembered to put up the note at work with a sign-up sheet. I have tried to touch base with everyone I could.

I am trying to give myself a break from things. Not a huge one. But the ok mentally not to do everything all at once. A little a day is ok. (Geez, now I am rhyming.) Oh, I spoke too soon. I can hear a heavy rain snow mix on the bay windows. And look! There is some ice too…

I am also trying to take my writing seriously. I am starting small. I am only putting one space after a period. Or I am trying to. The new and improved method is only one space after ending a sentence. It is harder than it sounds because I have been double spacing after ending a sentence for… 40 years now. Dad would let me use his electric typewriter (this was huge for me because I had my small manual typewriter at Mom’s) if he didn’t need it. And I couldn’t press hard on the keys. But I would sit for hours writing stories or fake articles. Or my lab reports (I had a chemistry set and a little laboratory/office set up in the big walk-in closet at Dad’s first apartment). The reason I am starting with punctuation is because I find that I throw things to the wind when I am writing on here. I also don’t polish my articles as well as I could. I just get my words on paper (so to speak) and think that it is enough. I don’t take the time to make sure that it is my best.

So this, then, begs the question do I keep pushing through focusing on my novel or do I pause and focus on my craft? Or do I work on both? My mind says work on both. I will use what I am learning as I work on my novel. So I guess I will pull out a few craft books and see where I want to start. I am hoping that by improving my craft intentionally I will begin to take myself seriously as a writer. Right now I enjoy it but I am not serious about it.

Tomorrow is also my big tattoo day. I need to message my artist and see what the final cost will be. I will try to get a photo posted of the final piece. That will depend on if WordPress will let me add and delete photos. We will hope for the best. Thanks for reading! Stay safe and have a great day!

These are from yesterday’s post.

Animals, anxiety, Automotive, Books, Creativity, dreams, Emotions, family, Learning, Life, Nature, Photography, retail, Tattoos, the World, Thinking, Writing

Blown Away

The wind is still blowing. Maybe not quite as strong as yesterday but it’s up there. Power went out just before I left for work. Chris had to go and get the garage door opened for me. We had never tried to figure out what to do to get the door open in case of power loss. It is easy once you know the secret. So thankfully I wasn’t late. I also got things squared away with my tattoo. He wants to go bigger to get the detail in. I’m ok with that.

There is so much going through my mind right now. Work was a zoo with the power outage. All of Rapid City was out but us. But the gas pumps went crazy every time the power blipped. So I wanted to try to reset all of them. I had four pumps down but not enough “Out Of Order” bags for the handles. So two of us parked our vehicles at the other two pumps. But it took around three hours before I had all the pumps empty so I could reset everything. It wasn’t any less crazy inside the store. Other things I am thinking about are trimming my turtle’s nails. They are way over due. I also got a read through of the first page of my novel from an editor so I am going over what she said in my head. Mostly I am working on my novel in my head.

I did get some interesting photos of the weather last night. I am going to add them and then try to get things going around here. I need to get to work an hour earlier than yesterday. Tomorrow’s post might be even shorter due to the fact that I need to be to work at 6:30am. Regardless thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Tattoos, the World, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Plotting and Planning

There is so much to do and all I want to do is sleep. The sun is out this morning but it has become chilly again with a gale advisory out through the afternoon. I did not get out early last night because we were actually pretty busy. I was surprised. I did notice that the tourists are starting to trickle in. I think we will be busier this year than in years previous. And on a smaller staff. So things will be interesting.

The strangest thing happened last night as I was reading in bed (a research book for once). I looked down and there was a caterpillar crawling up my thigh. I have no idea where it came from. I scooped it up and put it outside. Another novelty…. the peepers are out in force already. Even after the cold snaps we have been getting. Normally the peepers aren’t really going until a lot closer to June. I even have several peepers in our ponds! I was very happy to hear them last night.

I am trying to get things in order. For instance, once I finish this I have to water my plants and put out more bird seed. When I looked out this morning I just stood and watched everyone for a bit. Then I thought about getting my camera (I did get some photos). The feeder and the ground around it was very busy. There was a squirrel, several rabbits (one with an eye missing), blue jays, grackles, birch, and a few chickadees. It was a completely different set of animals than is normally there. The grackles are a deep shiny black but their heads are a gorgeous iridescent green/purple/blue/pink mix. I tried to get a few photos of them in the sun to show this off but once they figured out I was there it was like they did everything but what I wanted lol. Other things that need to be done is the bedding (both in the bedroom and out here with all the blankets (I think it is time to start storing some of them away for the season), vacuuming (at the very least get all the fallen leaves from the plants) and I could really get started in some of the gardens. I am thinking I might use some of the money I won at work to get some equipment for the yard. Oh and of course I need to do some actually writing. Research is all well and good but I need to work on the novel. Even if it is just writing about the characters so I get to know them.

I also need to remember to leave a little early so I can stop at the tattoo parlor to figure out what is up with my piece. We have been trying to get together for several days now. I am frustrated because he won’t get specific with what is wrong. He’d better be there today.

My laptop has just informed me that the battery needs charging. So I might as well stop here for the day. After I get some stuff done around here I might take Stella for a walk out on the property. I think she really enjoyed that the other day. I’m not up to loading her up into the car and driving to the park today. But I think she needs to get out of the house for a bit. Right, so I will upload my photos and get this posted. A big thank you to you for your kind words and support. It means a lot to this little writer plunking away in Northern Michigan! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Tattoos, Thinking, Travel, Writing

And I Don’t Know Where I Am Going

I feel a bit like a deer in headlights this morning. Sleep would be a good way to go for me today. I haven’t been able to get my sleep schedule (read getting any sleep) since we went to Cincinati. I have more bad days than good anymore and I notice that migraines are starting to creep back into my life. I just want some time to decompress for a little bit. I got a message from my tattoo artist that he has hit a snag with my piece. So I am stopping by after work today to see what needs to be done. I hope I don’t have to sack my whole idea. I do have a back up plan if needed though. I just hate the thought of changing things a week before the appointment (a week from today exactly).

Stella is out here with me. She is laying on the couch staring across the room out the sliding glass doors. She won’t eat again. She ate dinner (which got mixed with her uneaten breakfast from yesterday). She got up this morning, got some attention, drank some water and laid on the couch with her ball. We had storms last night and she wanted no comfort from me so I rolled over and went to sleep. I woke up every once in a while anyway but she wanted to sit there, pant and shake on her own. I could try to hold her and talk to her but she wanted nothing to do with me.

On a positive note I walked into work to meet with the store owner saying, “There she is! The big winner!” I looked at him with a rather blank stare. Then I struck a pose and said, “I get to run gas tonight!” with a big smile on my face. As it turns out I won $500. Yep, my eyes got big too. We have secret shoppers and every month those of us who get shopped and do well get $20. Then every few months they do a big drawing with everyone who got a good “shop” and draw five names for some decent prizes. This time I am walking away with the big prize. That was nice to walk into. Atleast I remembered to say thank you.

The novel is stalling out again. Not from lack of story but lack of motivation on my part. When I actually have a free moment I am just too tired to do anything. I tried before work yesterday and I just stared at the page. My brain refused to function.

It is warming up but I am still leery about putting my plants outside. They need to be out there but I am not up to the daily routine of taking them out when I wake up and bringing them back in before I leave for work. It still gets cold enough at night that the plants need to be back inside overnight.

I guess I should wrap this up and try to get Stella to eat something. Thans for reading and stay safe!