Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, Reading, Tattoos, Thinking, Writing

Gratitude and Relaxation

The bird feeder has been filled and apparently it is a blue jay restaurant this morning. Three big males have been dominating the scene. Holy cow! There’s like 10 of them out there! I peeked out to see and if they are not at the feeder they are on the ground. Busy place this morning! A bit chillier than yesterday. And wet. Oh my gosh! There’s even a bunny! I just saw a set of small brownish ears pop up.

Well at this time yesterday I was filled with anxiety and crabbiness headed up to the top floor at the hospital with Chris. Everything turned out fine and everyone was extremely nice despite my less than sunny disposition when I got there. Mind you by the time I left I was a chatty Cathy lol. I shared stories as well as tattoos. I stopped in the bathroom just before I left and when I stepped back out there were about 10 people waiting. Word of my Monarch butterfly tattoo got out so everyone came to see. I also got to show off my Supernatural tattoo as well as my dragons on my back. When I left I received a very nice thank you card as well as a mug with a packet of Nestle hot cocoa.

The girls pushed their way out the door when we got home. Lol. Essie wasn’t taking no for an answer and shouldered her way past Chris and the door. Little blessing! We were just as grateful to be home.

We seem to be getting a lot of cardinals this year. There is a very young female at the feeder. Every year brings new and different birds to the yard! Well today’s goal is to get working on my novel. I have done a page almost every other day. I hadn’t noticed that was the pattern until I went to type it in here. But anyway I want to get a bit more done. I pulled out my latest issues of my writing magazines in bed last night and was reading. Several articles fit where I am going in my story so I have added push to keep at it.

That being said I supposed I out to get at it. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Tattoos, Thinking, Writing

Pushing to Move Forward

This morning I sit here at the table coffee in hand. Stella is on her back sleeping chasing something. Essie will come over every once in a while to see if I am done, see that I am not then go back and lay in front of the bedroom door. I glance out the sliding glass door to the cooler overcast day outside. I try not to think if the friends I have lost this year.

One remarkable bit though. The other day when I asked what Linda’s favorite butterfly was (I had planned to get a memorial tattoo for her) her daughter said that she would get back to me on it. When she did it turned out that it was a Monarch. I immediately took a quick photo of my new tattoo and sent it to her explaining that I had just gotten it. So I guess this tattoo is for both of us.

Essie has noticed that I stopped typing. I heard her get up. Then she heard the keys clicking and went to lay back down. She is such a busy girl! But I can go outside and she is content to do her own thing. She is eating again and taking her medicine. I am very grateful.

I wasn’t up to work yesterday. To add to that we got a brand new system at work. No one got any training. No manual or paperwork. Just figure it out as you go and hope you don’t screw it up. Not a fan of that. Neither was anyone else. So I get to try it all over again today since I am gas. Then I have to figure out how to close and open it Friday and Saturday. Not looking forward to either one.

I did get a page written on my novel. That is a step in the right direction. I have to be to work a little earlier today than yesterday so I’d better wrap this up if I am going to work on the novel again. One day at a time. I can hear Linda telling me that in my head. I miss her. Have a great day and thanks for reading. Stay safe.

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Food, Friends, Holiday, Learning, Life, Movies, Nature, Photography, Tattoos, Thinking, Travel, Writing

New Tattoos and Halloween Festivities

Another day full of ink and fun is in the books! Two of the four of us never had any tattoos. Even though she had a panic attack part way through once she was done my friend Erin was ready to plan her next bunch of tattoos. I am so proud of her! She got angry with herself because she had the panic attack but we talked her through it and our artist was amazing with her. He had her laughing loud at some points.

I went first, then Chris, Erin and Jim. We all got essentially the same thing in the same spot. Chris and I were the oddballs. Mine went on my back because Moose’s paw is where everyone else put their piece. Chris has the words “Death Is Certain, Life Is Not” in runes at the top and bottom of his piece. The ink will remain with us forever and mean even more to all of us because we were together to support each other when we got them.

Other plans were made once we were all together again chatting. As Halloween is a massive favorite (Chris is really just along for the ride, he enjoys it but not like the rest of us do…. which is to say that we love horror and Halloween year round) we decided to do another movie night but this time over several days if I can get the time off. We did it last year in lieu of the movie marathon we did at a local theatre in Traverse the year before. (There were games and prizes and we watched the Halloween horror movies til around 6am. I have my certificate on the wall still.) And since it will be a cheat day for their keto diets we can get pizza, wings and have popcorn. We might even dress up! I am thinking of trying to go to one of the local haunts. There is an amazing one in Traverse. I have a friend that works it every year (he’s a big tall guy… I think 6’3″ or something like that so he towers over most people) and keeps telling me I need to come. The last time Chris and I went we had a blast. So I am thinking that I might throw that out as an option.

Tonight is the first night of the full moon. Tomorrow will be the official Blue Moon, the biggest and best of the year according to the astronomers. I got some really cool night shots last night with the camera that I will share. Truthfully I prefer a bit of cloud cover when photographing the moon at night. It give a very awesome light contrast.

I should wrap this up. I need to get myself ready for my trip downstate to see my family. Chris and the kids are staying home. I am strangely calm about it all. For now. I think part of it is that I am in pain with my back. Not the tattoo mind you but my lower back really hates me. Anyway I will share a few shots from yesterday. I will have a photo of my full back tomorrow to share. I really like how the new tattoo goes with my dragons! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Tattoos, the World, Thinking, Writing

My Story, My Ink

The heat of the day is steadily warming things up. The girls have been outside since we finished breakfast. It is a gorgeous day already. All this is enhanced by the fact that I have a four day weekend. My own mini vacation! Today will be me doing whatever until it is time to go get our tattoos. I do plan to try to get a hold of Dad. I want to add dirt to the memorial garden. It is not near deep enough. I also need to water the outside gardens and plants.

I can’t get over the beauty of my hand tattoo. It is truly much more than I had hoped for! I will also share a photo of today’s ink on the next blog. I am hoping to get a photo with all of us. I have had many compliments on my hand tattoo. And someone always seems to ask if I get tattoos just to get them or if they have some meaning behind them. All of my ink is there for a reason. It annoys me when people just get ink to say they have it. Their choice and all that but… Part of my reason for getting tattoos is something that has been a great punchline for many. I get them for when I get old. I want to look at them and remember my life. One of my great fears is that I will get Alzheimer’s or something similar that will take my mind. I want to have some record of my life and happiness for myself.

I have always been proud of my ink. People who see various pieces always get drawn into a conversation with me. If they don’t have any tattoos then it is the usual “did it hurt?” (some yes but mostly no) and “how many do you have?” (my Supernatural one today makes 13) but some ask more in depth ones like “why did you get this one?”. I always enjoy sharing my stories. It usually leads to them telling me some of their stories. Even those that are not really big on tattoos walk away from me and mine with atleast a little more respect for the art. The ones that really tickle me are the older folks. When they learn that each piece has a meaning it doesn’t seem like a fad to them. Many of them have gone on to get a tattoo. It might be a small piece to remember someone or something that happened. Or it might just be a piece that makes them smile. It is always fun when they come back to show me what they got done. That is what makes me smile.

Well I have gone on enough. I will add a few photos (I’ll even add a few of my tattoos) and get this posted. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Tattoos, Thinking, Writing

Facing the Inevitable

I am feeling very solemn this morning. In my dreams last night I watched as my Mother died. It was one of those where she was ready to go but couldn’t. I cried a lot in my dream. I can still see her body wrapped in a blanket once she died. I do not like this feeling. It will be coming soon enough.

Ok. Positive things…. I did get my tattoo yesterday. It turned out better than I’d hoping for. (I just stopped myself from using ! because it was too boisterous… I need to shake off this sadness!) The photos I took/had taken do not do it justice. It literally looks like a butterfly is resting on my hand. It is so delicate and beautiful… I am very very happy with it. I have also decided to get pictures of various butterflies that visit tattooed in various spots on my body. My goal is to look like they just landed. And with the realism that my artist can tattoo it will be amazing!

I got some nice photos yesterday of critters in the garden. I also got a few of the moon last night. It wasn’t a full moon but it still looked cool shrouded in clouds. I will share as much as I can. I will probably need to go through and delete some old ones to get more room for the new. But I am proud of the new ones. I need to get more on my photography site. I have really been neglecting that side of things.

Oh and one more bright spot. Yesterday was my 1000th day in a row of posting. 😁 I am pretty proud of that. Now if I can get some of that energy and determination into my photography site….

I’m going to wrap this up so I can add the photos and get this posted. I may see about adding to my photography site as well. Since they are on my phone I can add them easily to the site. What takes so long is adding the descriptions and search words. I have to have atleast 5 search words for each photo. And thank you to my loyal readers… your staying around to read and comment on my work means a lot. It doesn’t feel like I am writing in a vacuum. Stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Food, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Tattoos, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Mental Sparring

I can tell I have my my medication for my back in my system again. I slept hard and deep last night. The only times that I woke up were when I felt a dog get off the bed. Sadly it was Essie. Her tummy isn’t well again. I need to find out what is wrong. And the vet’s office is closed today. So process of elimination time.

On some more positive notes today is the day I get my Monarch tattoo. I will share a photo in tomorrow’s post. I am super stoked about this! Another positive is the hand written birthday card I got from a coworker yesterday. On the inside she wrote: “Happy Birthday! Thank you for being a Big sister and being someone I can look up to. Your so much fun to be around! Love you Lots!” It brought several tears to my eyes. She is such a sweet young woman and has been through so much this past year. (And yes I know she should’ve written “you’re” instead of “your” but I chose to ignore that.)

I have to laugh because it seems that it will be a week of birthday celebrations instead of just one day. I have so much going on that I feel like my birthday is almost every day! I am trying not to psych myself out of driving down to Bay City on Sunday. And I have to go. Not only are two of my distant relatives arriving (and I mean distant in distance from me) but the family also voted to keep the family dinner on Sunday when I can be there instead of Monday for when the “missing” uncle can get there (he seems to always want another day just for him because he can never make it when everyone else can.) I know I can do the drive and Angus certainly can. It will be my first road trip with him too. But my mind wants to stay home where it is safe. My mind creates all these scenarios in which I can potentially be hurt. Not just physically but mentally as well. So my defense is to not think about it until the day arrives. The problem is my brain is still thinking about it in the mental box that I crammed it in. So when the day arrives the metal box pops open like some demented jack-in-the-box and all the mess that it has been thinking about comes pouring out like hot lava trying to burn away all the good. I am hoping that sharing on here will get rid of some of the pressure in that mental box. An air hole if you will.

I should wrap this up for now. I look forward to sharing the photo of the new tattoo with all of you tomorrow! Oh and the photo of the bunnies is fuzzy because it was taken through two panes of glass at our backdoor. I didn’t want to spook them by opening the door. Thanks to everyone for taking the time to read this today! Stay safe!

Aging, Animals, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Food, Friends, Gardening, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, Tattoos, Thinking, Writing

Today Is My Birthday… What?!

Today is the first post of the last year in my 40s. It is kind of freaky to think that this time next year I will be 50 years old. 😯 My first birthday gift was from the girls. They let me sleep as long as I wanted this morning. ❀ I have already received a beautiful card from my Mother-in-law. A regular from work is taking me out for lunch this afternoon. (Don’t worry, he is pushing 90 years old and is a dear sweet man. I even got to meet and chat with his daughter while she was up. A very nice woman.) Both my parents are sending gifts (sneaky surprises since I said no gifts were necessary) which will arrive some time this week (why celebrate just one day when it can be all week!). Chris is paying for my tattoo on Wednesday. I caught some chipmunks sneaking into the house… maybe they were going to sing me happy birthday? I doubt it though, lol. And another gift… I don’t have any meetings this week. I thought I had one tomorrow night but it is next Tuesday. Yay!

Not only did I get good sleep last night but I woke up in a wonderful mood. It has been a while for that. Normally days off end up getting crammed with appointments and meetings. This will be a nice change. I am worried about Stella though. When I woke up she was sleeping on the floor. I have never seen her do that overnight. I know she was in bed for some of the night but on the floor? I would’ve expected her to go on the couch in the living room. And I’m not sure if she was eating grass out in the yard. She ate breakfast fine. Hmmmm. She was actually very good yesterday while we had company. She listened very well for the most part.

I may putter in the yard this morning or just hang out in my swing and read. I might even pull out one or both of the novels and knock the dust off of them. I want to stay in my happy mind frame today. Essie is out in the yard doing her thing. I think I will wrap this up and throw a few toys for the girls. I know they were tired last night from all the playing. Thanks for all the wonderful comments and support! And as always stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Cooking/Baking, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Food, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Tattoos, the World, Thinking, Writing

I Need To Be Here, There and Everywhere

Aaaaaand back to the late posts. πŸ™„ I felt so guilty leaving the girls yesterday morning! The storm really started kicking in about the time I left for work. Stella even came out of the bedroom and was shivering. But everyone was happy to see me when my grouchy self got home last night. (I just keep telling myself “one more shift and then you get a day off.”) Chris made an amazing dinner (no photos because I was too busy eating).

I enjoy my job, I really do. It’s just that we are busy and short handed (witness me being cashier and working in the deli today then next Sunday I am manager and working in the deli). everyone is just getting fried. We have had some job applications come back but not all are up to the task.

I have a small moth that is all over me and my laptop. I brush it away or blow at it and it comes back. Not sure why. I see that and think about my hand tattoo I am getting. I am very excited! I think that my artist is going to do a 3D rendering instead of just a straight picture of a Monarch butterfly.

The girls are restless and want to play. Me not so much. I am still tired. My mind is everywhere but here. It is one of those times where I could stay focused and get lost in a book but in the real life I don’t know where to focus. Do I play with the girls? Work on the novel? Photography? Think about work? Putter in the garden? I have too many distractions. I feel like there is so much I need to be doing. So I just sit and stare trying not to feel overwhelmed.

I had better wrap this up. I sit here and look around me at everything I haven’t done and should/need to do and I am getting myself overwhelmed and depressed. Sorry for a bit of a downer post. I hope everyone has a fab day! Thanks for reading and have stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Tattoos, Thinking, Writing

Looking Things Over

I am still tired this morning. We seem to get up at 9am instead of 8am (or even the 7am) that we used to. Some days I feel rushed while others seem to go ok. Then a long shift at work, come home and do it all again the next day. I like my job but I try to play with the girls when I get home because they have been inactive (I assume) the long time I’ve been gone. I try to play with them a little in the morning before I leave as well. But this morning? We’ll see.

We finally had another hummingbird yesterday. I’m not sure what happened. I was faithful about changing the feeder out and washing it. So I once again washed everything out and put fresh sugar water in. Now we wait. Lots of butterflies though. I am really looking forward to getting my Monarch tattoo. That will be on the 18th of August. I’ll share photos the following day.

Yesterday also was a good long chat with Dad. When we hung up he was in a very good mood and smiling. We had various trips down memory lane and I also got him up to speed with various happenings at my end. He is starting to get out more and experience his world rather than stay cooped up in his apartment. That is helping his mental attitude as well.

As for me I got laundry going, mowed the front lawn (after my four hour chat with Dad) and even spent time on my novel. The girls and I played off and on through out the day. I always feel that it’s never enough compared to what they should be getting. I also got a few photos in the yard.

I suppose I should wrap this up so I can get some stuff (quietly) done around here before I leave for work. Chris is still asleep so I will try to entertain the girls quietly. I also need to check all the plants inside and out to see who needs to be watered. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Life, Love, Movies, Nature, Photography, retail, Tattoos, Thinking

A Blip On The Radar

Well the sun is out today. It never came out yesterday and a cold wind blew away any warmth. I got the plants watered and some appointments set up and that was it. Right now Essie is sitting in the porch sunning. Stella just came in from doing that and is snoozing on the couch. The only thing I did do was watch horror movies to try to cheer myself up. It worked for a little while. I think I just kept myself “on” for too long. Especially after Sunday. I would like to know if the person is ok. I keep running everything over in my mind. I wouldn’t have done anything differently. I know I couldn’t have done anymore.

So I guess all this has put me in a funk. No sun yesterday and blue skies today doesn’t help. I have to keep my chin up. If I can make it through tonight I have Thursday off. I’m trying to get my birthday tattoo scheduled. He keeps changing days on me. It’s very frustrating. He said weekends were good so I took the day before my birthday, the 15th, thinking that Chris could go with. No joy. Well then I’ll go on my birthday. Nope. He doesn’t work on Mondays. (Insert swear words here.) So now we are on to Tuesday morning at 11am. So. He is very good at what he does. Getting the timing down is the bugger.

I think I will wrap this up. I don’t have much more to say. I think I’ll putter in the garden and read for a bit before I have to go to work. Thanks for reading and stay safe!