Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Thinking, Writing

Using A Little Bit Of Sunshine

Sadly we did not go to the haunted house last night. When it came down to it we were both too tired. And truthfully I did not know if I would be able to walk through it. This morning’s pain is at about a 14 on a scale of 1to 10. I am having severe mobility issues. So I guess it is time to call the doctor again. Sigh. I was hoping not to have to do that.

Despite the pain there are several things that need to get done around the house. Not a lot. If I can get just that little bit accomplished then I will be happy. The sun is out and that helps. The girls want me to be outside playing with them. I threw a lot of toys last night for them. They went to bed very tired girls. I guess they want a repeat performance. We’ll see.

I had a bit of an epiphany when I was taking photos last night. The ones I took of the trees really popped with the darkening sky. I need to adjust the part of the camera that allows the light in and see if that will get my colors to pop. I need to pull out my camera books and see what I need to adjust it to or what it is normally at and see what I can see. If we have a bit of cloud in our sunset that will get me some color to practice with.

Reading is also on my to do list for the day. I have a new issue of The Writer that arrived the other day and a coworker leant me his copy of “The Ocean at the End of the Lane” by Neil Gaiman. It has been on my want to read list for a very long time. We have been sharing books for several months now. Mostly me bringing the various Discworld books by Terry Pratchett. The running joke is that I am the Librarian from the books (who is an orangutang… long story you have to read the books to get the joke) so I say “Ook” a lot. But I am excited to read my first Neil Gaiman novel.

Speaking of coworkers I got a very special gift the other day from some other coworkers. It is a sparkling purple rose suspended in water. I will share some photos. It is so beautiful! When I showed Chris he was surprised by the beauty. You really don’t expect a rose in full bloom covered in purple glitter to be as beautiful as it is.

I had better get this posted. I slept in a lot longer that I expected this morning. I hope you all have an amazing day! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Tattoos, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Squeaking One In

Aaaaaand here we are again. Only a few hours after going to bed. I have a few minutes to get this written before I have to wake Chris. He is going to a firearms training class. We were both going to go but I don’t feel comfortable enough with my gun to attend so I didn’t get the day off. However I do have to work this morning. The nice thing is that I get out at 2pm and I have tomorrow off.

I should have something exciting to write about too. We are planning to got to one of the haunted house events in Traverse. That is if we are both up for it. It has been a full week for both of us so as night creeps in our eyes may creep shut. We are both excited to go so we shall see.

I am still battling with my camera to get decent colors with my Nikon. I was trying to get some foliage shots since the trees are finally turning colors and when I look at them the reds are almost non existent. Fiery maple trees look washed out. I ended up taking a bunch of photos with my phone camera. The colors with that are much more vibrant. It is very frustrating. Especially since the photos I take with the Nikon I can condense so I can share more on here without having to delete old photos. The photos I take with the phone take up more space and I have all but filled my media capacity on here. If anyone has any suggestions or ideas on what to do to improve the color quality on the Nikon I am all ears!

I am clock watching. A little bit longer to write. I have a few new tattoo ideas. They are small pieces so I might be able to do them both and cheaply. I wat to get a small white butterfly on my right wrist above the Monarch and I want to get the symbol ; because this represents “a message of affirmation and solidarity against suicide, depression, addiction and other mental health issues” (Dictionary.com). Since I have suffered from several of these and so do many loved ones I would like to get it. I told Dad about it and he got a bit teary.

Ok. The clock says I need to wrap this up. I will add photos from the Nikon only this morning. I don’t have time to go and delete old photos to share the bunch I got with my phone. Thanks for your suggestions and comments in advance! And thanks for reading! Stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Learning, Life, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Thinking, Writing

Write and Wrong

I have had a lot of people ask me why I write in my blog every day, why not just write on the weekends or on specific days. The big thing is my schedule or lack of a consistent schedule. If I had say Wednesdays off all the time I could do my blog posts every Wednesday. But my days off vary so I try to keep my blog consistent (as well as my writing) and I write this every day. I also know me and if I try to only do it a few days a week I will drop the ball and eventually I won’t do it at all.

I have received a message from the writer in Argentina about helping him polish his story to win an award. I am struggling to explain that it is going to take a major rework. Possibly just starting from scratch. With all that has been going on I had forgotten that I needed to respond to him. (I feel a bit like a failure…. I keep forgetting things like this.) I suppose that I will have to message him back once I finish with this. The dread hangs heavy. I don’t like telling other writers that their work needs… well it’s just not good enough. I sit and stare at the previous line and my mind freezes. I don’t ever want to tell someone that. But the amount of work needed to get his story even read able is going to take a complete rewrite (did I mention that there are 70 pages?) with constant communication between us. I just can’t even face something like that. It’s just not a good story. That is honestly what it comes down to. He just needs to start over. But how do I say it without hurting his feelings? Or crushing his dream? I don’t think there is a way.

And now the guilt rolls in. I think of all the things I need, should and have to do. Times I let people down. Etc etc. This is another reason I drag my feet with things. I want too much to help others and when I can’t I beat myself up.

So I need to try to focus on the good that I can and have done. Yesterday’s accomplishments include washing several walls and a good bit of floor as well as finishing laundry (all before work). Moving everything out and around in preparation of my Father-in-law moving is has freed up a lot of space that was once buried behind things (or under things) so I am scrambling to to a decent clean up before company comes over on the 30th. I know they will be surprised at the changes as it is but I want to make the extra effort so that I can be proud of how things look. I know there are things that I will have to cope with (not getting all the dust gone is a big one as I am not a consistent duster and with all of us I can dust one day and within a few hours I can see the dust starting to build up again) but I want to get as much done as I can.

Stella is dreaming. Her tail is wagging and she is woofing. It sounds like she is playing with someone or something. Silly girl. I really should get this posted before I decide I shared too much. Thanks for listening. Stay safe!

Animals, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Movies, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Writing

Stepping Into Fall

It is so dark it could be night. Or atleast dusk. The birds are strangely quiet (as two blue jays set up a squawking contest outside the door). Just past the fence in the little grove there was atleast 30 sparrows (I believe that was the bird song I heard) when we got up. There were just so many little voices! Just huge! Then nothing. It has been so odd….

Yesterday was a Summer’s day until just before 3pm when it got very cold and the sun disappeared. Then the rumble of thunder from the west sent the girls inside. From then on it was chilly and raining. So it became a day for horror. We did horror movies (the first two I ended up just fast forwarding through) and a documentary on the making of the original Halloween. It’s funny how when you hear about how they did some of the iconic scares it wasn’t even iconic at all. They were just trying to put something together as fast as they could. And it works. All the new movies use all this high tech stuff and aren’t near as intense as some of the old horror.

Halloween is just 10 days away… I can’t believe it! Then we are into Thanksgiving and Christmas. I haven’t been out of retail long enough to appreciate either holiday. I have seen too much greed from both the public and corporations. Too much nastiness and abuse of staff. I am grateful that it did not touch my love of Halloween. I remember when I first started at Younker’s I still loved all the holidays. I even started doing Secret Santa for everyone. We had so much fun with it! Then the hours got longer and the demands of the job got to be more and more.

I am still debating about joining the NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) this year. I tried last year but failed. Not miserably because I did get some great story background done but I did peter out early. Three pages every day is the average to get the word count (50,000 words) by the end of the month. But I might be able to swing it. Hmmm…. I will see. Technically I’m “cheating” because it is a work in progress. You are supposed to get a brand new story idea and write the whole novel in a month. But this is the same one from last year soooo… Even if I don’t make it I think it will be a good push for me.

I hear the washer finished so I had better get laundry into the dryer. Work at 1pm so I should have everything ready. I really appreciate all your comments and suggestions too! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, Gardening, Life, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Here We Are

Once again the internet is out. Sigh… so I am writing this on my phone. No idea if it will save or if I will end up with a double post again. Tomorrow I have off so we can sleep in. Once again Essie got up with me but went back to bed (she tried several times to get me to come with, only the words “I have to go to work sent her back and she stayed). Stella came out to eat and has stayed with me.

I am so very not a morning person… but having the rest of my day is nice. I did nothing constructive other than play with the girls. It will probably be the same tonight after work. I had plans to work on my novel but my anxiety kicked in and we just watched horror movies.

I look at what I have written thus far and it sounds so blah. But that is my mindset right now so I shouldn’t be surprised.

I just shut the laptop down. There was a hopeful sigh from the couch. It is supposed to be nice once the day warms up. Another shot at summer temperatures. So I will wear my shorts again this morning. I will get the usual good natured comments.

Funny enough I got up a little early to make sure I had time to do everything this morning. Oh well. I will need to leave early to get this up before I start work. I don’t have many more photos from the Memorial. But I do have more from around here. It seems as though every tree in the way to work is making a serious effort to change but looking from our property around us all is still green. Just the lightest bits of color here and there. I am tempted to take my camera with me to work so I can get photos on the way home but there is no place to stash the camera while I work. Anyway I will add what I have. Sorry for all the blah. I hope you like the photos though! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Deep Breath….And Relax!

Ahhhhh! Blessed blessed day off! Oh how I need you! In all honesty I’m not going to know what to do with myself. I am so used to cramming what I can into my day before I head out to work. That means I can get some work done on my novel! Yay! I feel bad because I haven’t really touched it in a week now. But work took everything out of me. Last night seemed to be the topper. Instead of an “easy” day it was a long day. Two of us not very experienced back in the deli… I was the slicer person for orders because my coworker is afraid of the slicer. And I was the one trying to make sure we all got stuff to do (I was barely making sure I had stuff to do). But despite all the obstacles we survived and may have even become friends.

Oh my fierce Pittys! They are scared of the rain that is falling. I am trying to type around 120lbs of Pitbull right now. Silly pups. I need to go get yogurt (I forgot with everything going on at work) so Essie can have her medicine. If she doesn’t get yogurt in her tummy first she will throw everything up in a matter of minutes. But if the girls are spooked then they will wake Chris up while I am gone. So I supposed I will wait a bit. I could take Stella but then Essie would be alone. (Essie is not fond of car rides.)

On the plus side it is a dark day so I will be more inclined to hunker inside and work on my novel. I also need to write a few letters and emails today. I have friends and family members that I have not been in touch with for a bit. I am hoping that (as I look around the room/house) I don’t have much to do around the house. I think all my major projects are done. I do need to glue some flooring down. So it will be just upkeep for a bit. I am going to do my best to relax today. I am not sure how tomorrow will go. I have the memorial service at noon (remember to take your camera…) but I do need to leave early as I have no idea where I am going besides Traverse City somewhere. I am not sure how long things will last either. I am going to push Mom to come out and meet me at a coffee shop I think. I want to get her out of the house. She is becoming a recluse and as much as I want to see my little sissies (her two pups) I want her to get out around other people.

I have so much that I want to read right now! But I need to work on my novel and play with the girls. I do have treats to bribe them with though. I have some soup bones for them to eat later. So much relaxing that I want to do today…. reading, writing, playing with the girls, puttering around in my office…. I got my violet plant repotted the other day. I was so scared that it would die on me! I have had it for several years and it had filled up it’s original pot long ago. I finally bit the bullet and put him in a pot about twice the size of his original. He has bee doing wonderfully! I am so excited!

I guess I should wrap this up before it gets too long. Now that I have the luxury of time for a little while… I will add a few photos and get this posted. The weather is nice enough that I still have plants blooming like crazy (for which I am very grateful). And for you rock hounds out there I took a few photos of a few of my “hunting grounds” on our property. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Learning, Life, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Plans, plans, plans

Well… it’s morning. The girls and I agree that it is way too early in the morning for us. I am up early to write this as well as my article before work. I was going to do my article first but the sun isn’t even up so I cannot see my notes. Hence I am writing this first. I am hoping to keep things light but my lack of sleep is winning out.

I have to keep reminding myself that I have a meeting tonight. With my long schedule and lack of sleep I am very grateful for my alarms to remind me. I think Dad is angry with me because I have been lax in keeping in touch with everything going on. I will try to send him a quick email. He seems to think I am avoiding him. I hope he realizes that there are only so many hours in the day and mine seem to be overly full.

It is difficult to keep the positive mindset with everything going on. Especially the pain. Yesterday that seemed to be the thing as my day wore on. Nothing seems to help right now. And if I go down that thought path I will get lost and angry so…. I hope the girls will be ok with me coming home for maybe 30 minutes before I leave again. I will try to play with them for a little. The meeting shouldn’t be longer than an hour tonight so I should be home by 8:30pm. If I feed them when I get home and try to crank out my article before bed I can sleep until 7:30am tomorrow. That would give me time to write this and feed the girls before heading out for the next meeting. I also need to drop an email to my editor to let her know that the article for tomorrow’s meeting may not get there in time for this week’s issue. I don’t think there will be enough time to get it written before work. Tomorrow is one of my 10 hour days so I will have 15 minutes after the meeting to be home before I will have to be out the door again for work.

Sorry most of this is me thinking out loud (if you will) so I can keep myself straight. If I repeat things often enough I will be able to do it on auto pilot if I am too sleepy to think straight. I hope.

Both of the girls are on the couch. Stella is draping herself all over the place. Essie is a little crescent shape at the other end of the couch. I feel bad that I have had no energy to do anything with the family this weekend. Chris has been awesome and done things around the house while I have been gone. Hopefully Thursday I can play catch up around here. I still have to ask Mom if she wants to get together Friday after the memorial service. Ok, the clock tells me that I need to get going on the article now that the sun is up (yes we do have lights in the house I could use but I would wake Chris with the one in the living room and going in my office would mean the girls would cram themselves together on the floor so here we are). I hope you all have a great day! Thank you for all your comments! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Nature, Photography, retail, Writing

Frustrations

Have you ever woken to a day and felt that something was going to happen? Not sure if it will be good or bad but something will happen? That is me this morning. There are huge thick clouds coming in from the far south east this morning. The winds have been strong too.

Not much sleep last night because I had to do the “fast unwind” when I got home. I did get laundry washed and into the dryer before bed too. I need work clothes. The annoying part is that I am working in the deli today so I pretty much am going to have to wash my shorts again for tomorrow. I’m not sure how long, short or topics of the next week of posts. Well who am I kidding? I never do. But I am working straight through to next Thursday. I am a bit annoyed about it. Tomorrow I work morning until 6pm then I go to Elk Rapids for a meeting. I have a meeting the following morning then I close that night as a manager. Then I work Wednesday night in the deli essentially by myself (the other person I work with won’t really do much because she doesn’t like being back there). I don’t understand why I don’t have either Monday or Tuesday off. At one point I have to find time to write the articles for the meetings. It is very frustrating. He forgets that every time.

I don’t know if I will have time to write the article for Thursday’s meeting before work today or not. If not I have to write it after I get home tonight. I probably should’ve gotten up earlier but I need to sleep when I can. But I might still have time.

I am hoping to get together with Mom Friday after the memorial service. We’ll see if that happens. She will want to meet at her place but I am going to try to get her to come to a coffee shop or something to chat. She needs to get out more. With all the hours I am working I have dropped out of touch with both my parents. I did manage to get out an email to Dad the other day.

I can tell that I need some time off because my filter at work is not working very well. I have not been the best person either. Maybe ok for some but below the standard I have for myself. So I guess I need that time in the deli. We usually have enough people back there that I can just focus on tasks instead of dealing with people.

Sorry about all the whining. That is not how the post started. Thanks for listening. Stay safe!

Animals, Books, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Thinking, Writing

Lazy Day With Much To Do

This morning has dawned cool and damp. Not a bad thing really. But everyone is sleepy. It is a lazy day to be sure. Unfortunately there is a lot going on so… Hopefully I will get my work schedule today. I think I would’ve been ok but having the Memorial Service on Friday means I needed the whole day off. I can work either of my meeting days though so that shouldn’t have been an issue. I guess we’ll see.

I finally got sleep last night! Yay! Means I will be playing catch up for a few days with it though. It was nice to pretty much sleep the night through. I don’t know how busy work will be. Things have died right down for the most part. I had to make sure everyone stayed busy last night. I sent several people home early since we didn’t have anything for them to do.

Today is one of my long days so I won’t have much time to do anything before work. The girls are pouting. They want to play since their daddy is awake but I haven’t finished this so they will have to wait. I am hoping to sneak in some writing before I have to go. I didn’t get any done last night. I did get almost two pages written Thursday morning. We’ll see what happens. I might just come home and go to bed. I should actually. I just remembered that I have to work at 10am tomorrow. I will be in the deli so I can be grumpy and not really have to deal with people.

I finally finished reading two novels that I have been reading seemingly forever. I usually have several books going at once so I have different books for different moods. I finished a cozy mystery and a horror compellation. Both good. And yes I have several other books that I am reading. They are nonfiction though. I might grab an Elizabeth Peters to keep with me. Either an Amelia Peabody or Jacqueline Kirby mystery will do nicely. Both are sassy heroines that I love to read about. I see by the clock that I need to wrap this up and get moving for work. Thanks for reading and especially for your comments! I love hearing from everyone! Stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Thinking, Writing

Priorities… And What Got Done

The sun is bright this morning. Part of that is due to the blinds being pulled almost all the way open. I have moved the shelves to the sunny spot so I can start putting the plants on there. I also got the houses vacuumed and the kitchen swept. The island counter top did not get cleaned off. I did also catch up on my various series and finished a novel I had been reading. So I believe that I found a balance yesterday. I still hurt but I also don’t feel like I completely slacked off yesterday either. I only got one thing on my to do list done but that was because I ended up with a completely different list in my head. The meeting was listened to and the article written once I had this posted as well.

There are things I should’ve gotten done but did not. I did not work on my novel. Instead I called Mom. After that I binge watched my shows to catch up. I can excuse the counter not getting cleaned off since I got so much else done but the novel…. not so much. So my goal is a page on the novel before work.

I got a bit of a surprise? shock? yesterday. I got a message from my friend’s daughter telling me about the memorial service they were holding for her next week. It still brings a tear (several actually) to my eye. So that will be on my list for work today. Since I will have Thursday off for a meeting I will miss handing my list in for time off. So I need to do it today. I might try to hook up with Mom. We’ll see how I feel. I might make her meet me somewhere. She needs to get out more than just the grocery store.

I am looking around the room… I realize that I really need to start uploading my photos to my web page. I have several hundred saved to my phone that I have shared on here that need to be uploaded on to my site. I put that off because it is such a large project. Even doing say 5 or 10 takes atleast 20 minutes with the whole process to upload, write all the text that goes with the photo, ok everything and then do a final upload onto the site. And I really don’t want to spend the time. If I do less than 5 it’s not really worth the time. What I need to do is stop procrastinating and post this so I can get going on my novel. Thanks for reading and stay safe!