Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Tattoos, Thinking, Writing

Looking Things Over

I am still tired this morning. We seem to get up at 9am instead of 8am (or even the 7am) that we used to. Some days I feel rushed while others seem to go ok. Then a long shift at work, come home and do it all again the next day. I like my job but I try to play with the girls when I get home because they have been inactive (I assume) the long time I’ve been gone. I try to play with them a little in the morning before I leave as well. But this morning? We’ll see.

We finally had another hummingbird yesterday. I’m not sure what happened. I was faithful about changing the feeder out and washing it. So I once again washed everything out and put fresh sugar water in. Now we wait. Lots of butterflies though. I am really looking forward to getting my Monarch tattoo. That will be on the 18th of August. I’ll share photos the following day.

Yesterday also was a good long chat with Dad. When we hung up he was in a very good mood and smiling. We had various trips down memory lane and I also got him up to speed with various happenings at my end. He is starting to get out more and experience his world rather than stay cooped up in his apartment. That is helping his mental attitude as well.

As for me I got laundry going, mowed the front lawn (after my four hour chat with Dad) and even spent time on my novel. The girls and I played off and on through out the day. I always feel that it’s never enough compared to what they should be getting. I also got a few photos in the yard.

I suppose I should wrap this up so I can get some stuff (quietly) done around here before I leave for work. Chris is still asleep so I will try to entertain the girls quietly. I also need to check all the plants inside and out to see who needs to be watered. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

anxiety, Books, Creativity, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, the World, Thinking, Writing

Focused Randomness

I am beginning to think that Mother Nature has something against me. Once again nothing but sun and warmth when I work. Today? Supposed to be partly sunny and warm. But what do I have? Think dark clouds and chilly weather. I seem to get no summer on my days off. And I could really use some summer today.

I looked at my calendar for the month of August. It is very very full. I made mention of this to my boss yesterday. He seemed completely unconcerned and said that it was no biggie. We would work through it. A completely different response than I would’ve gotten at Younker’s.

My mind is jumping all over the place this morning. I had a strange dream that I remember a good deal of. Including two books that I needed to have in the dream, which I happen to own so I have dug one of them out. The other (I think) is in the bedroom so that will have to wait until Chris gets up. I find that if my mind shows me specific things it is for a reason. So in certain situations I will try to find those things and interact with them. In this case read.

I have been given an extra push to keep going on my novels. A coworker not only has published a book (apparently several) but we are selling them at work. Jealous does not begin to cover my feelings. That being said I am trying to use that to keep going and finish my novels. So wish me luck!

My problem is that there is so much to do on my days off because there is so little time to do anything on the days that I work. And it’s big things like mowing the yard (Chris has very bad allergies) or vacuuming or talking to either of my parents (our phone calls are usually several hours… thank goodness we aren’t charged by the minute anymore!). There is only so much that I can cram into one day. So I try to pick and choose. Some days I just get too overwhelmed and nothing gets done.

Well I need to make some choices. One of them is to wrap this up so I can get going on something else. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Life, Love, Movies, Nature, Photography, retail, Tattoos, Thinking

A Blip On The Radar

Well the sun is out today. It never came out yesterday and a cold wind blew away any warmth. I got the plants watered and some appointments set up and that was it. Right now Essie is sitting in the porch sunning. Stella just came in from doing that and is snoozing on the couch. The only thing I did do was watch horror movies to try to cheer myself up. It worked for a little while. I think I just kept myself “on” for too long. Especially after Sunday. I would like to know if the person is ok. I keep running everything over in my mind. I wouldn’t have done anything differently. I know I couldn’t have done anymore.

So I guess all this has put me in a funk. No sun yesterday and blue skies today doesn’t help. I have to keep my chin up. If I can make it through tonight I have Thursday off. I’m trying to get my birthday tattoo scheduled. He keeps changing days on me. It’s very frustrating. He said weekends were good so I took the day before my birthday, the 15th, thinking that Chris could go with. No joy. Well then I’ll go on my birthday. Nope. He doesn’t work on Mondays. (Insert swear words here.) So now we are on to Tuesday morning at 11am. So. He is very good at what he does. Getting the timing down is the bugger.

I think I will wrap this up. I don’t have much more to say. I think I’ll putter in the garden and read for a bit before I have to go to work. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Dogs, Emotions, family, Life, retail, the World, Thinking

The Day That Blew Up

You don’t know how glad I am that yesterday is over! If it could go wrong at work it did. And the night was rounded out with a woman being hurt in our parking lot and being arrested. I am still upset over it. I left a note for the store manager with a brief account of what happened and said that I would be happy to fill in the blanks when I got there at noon today.

With everything happening I didn’t get home til almost 11:30pm. It was just short of a twelve hour day. And I get to do it all again today. Hopefully with minimal issues. I’m grateful that everyone at home was ok. (Not that they wouldn’t be but the way the day was going….) I have tomorrow off but I still have a meeting in Elk Rapids at 7pm. Thursday will be my day I can stay home. On the plus side today is the only day I am manager this week.

I did get a nice text from one of my coworkers about what happened last night. She gave my props for my actions and was very supportive. I had to make sure that everyone punched out etc. since they were in the store rubber necking til quite late. But to be fair everyone was really good with all the issues that cropped up.

I just want to get through today and be home for more than a few hours. I really wish I had today off. I am just tapped out mentally. I am going to wrap this up and try to spend a little bit with the girls before I have to go back to work. Thanks for reading and stay safe.

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, the World, Thinking, Travel, Writing

A Little Here And A Little There

Another day. It’s cloudy but the sun is filtering through. I am hoping the day at work goes fast like it did yesterday. I am just plain tired. Weekends are always hard for me. I usually close and on Sundays I am usually always manager. I get home late and stay up even later to spend time with the family. I don’t get much sleep because I have to get up at a relatively decent time to get everything done before I head back out. I am grateful that I only live about 5-10 minutes from work. If I was doing this and working in Traverse (especially this time of the year with all the tourists) I would barely be functioning.

We got our first batch of tomatoes from the plants the other day. They have been ripening about one a day. The average size is about the size of a tennis ball. They are very sweet! I am looking forward to more treats from our gardens this year. I am very excited to see how the pumpkins do. i need more dirt so I can plant some hot peppers (the seeds are a variety pack). I plan to do those in pots so I can keep them year round.

I got a lot done yesterday before work on my novel. It doesn’t look like much but I am pleased. This is gonna take a while at the current rate though. I am just too tired most days to even attempt working on it. But I want to keep going at it. I know we will slow down once summer is over (which sucks because I haven’t really been able to enjoy my favorite time of year and I have plenty of time during the season I am not very fond of) and I will have more free time.

I got a letter from one of my pen pals and I want to read it before I have to go to work. So I need to wrap this up. I will share some more photos from my little trip on Thursday. Have a great day! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

A Quiet Sunny Morning…. Mostly

Despite the sun we are all a bit sleepy. Well maybe not…. Stella is sitting beside me giving me the eye. She has been yawning but she keeps easing closer to me to get love and give kisses. Essie is still snoozing in front of the bedroom door. The morning is quiet. The birds and bugs are doing their thing. Unfortunately it sounds like a neighbor has lost power. I hear a rather large generator going next door. Which kind of crushes the groove of relaxing in the natural quiet.

The coffee tastes good this morning. It makes things feel warm and homey. I am mentally trying to gear myself up to write once I am done with this. Not go out into the garden and weed. Not play with the dogs (atleast not too much). Not fiddle around the house picking up this or that. I need to get back into the writing groove. Back into the habit.

Tonight I am the closing manager at work. I don’t go in until 1pm today. I close tomorrow too but I have to be there at noon. Which is atleast a 10 hour day. We’ll see how late I can stay up. I shouldn’t but I want to write in the morning and again at night to see which works better for me. At first blush I would say morning because I won’t be tired from work mentally. But I might have better luck at night because the creative juices might be going from something that happened that day. And I might end up rotating through both times of day.

My bracelet arrived yesterday from adopting a shark. His name is Babu and he is a Great Hammerhead shark. I get to track him as well. I was very excited! I have also adopted a wolf, a bee and an elephant over the years. Quite the menagerie! Lol

I need to wrap this up and get writing on my novel. I think I will try to tackle a character today. See who they are and what makes them tick. Wish me luck! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Dogs, Emotions, family, Gardening, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Travel, Writing

So Much

The sun is out and shining and I just want to go back to sleep. Part medicine and part everything going on. (I just lost a few sentences and I have no Idea what happened.) I am hoping a shower helps. I am manager today so I need to be functional. I have tomorrow “off” but Essie has an appointment and I have a meeting that night. I also need to get the article written. Grrrrr…. It says that the meeting will also be via Zoom yet the paperwork distinctly says that there will be no link. WTF?! You can’t have it both ways people! Feeling like I do I would prefer the Zoom but I guess I am driving again.

I was going to try to come home early last night from work but it turned out that I was the closing cashier. I would get teary off and on. There is just some much going on. it sounds like Essie had a bit of a hard day yesterday. I noticed a few times after I got home that she would try to get up from sitting and just end up moving sideways and laying down because she couldn’t get up. It breaks my heart. So I guess we’ll see what we see on Monday. I am grateful that the vet will let me pay later. I think this will be an expensive visit. But Essie is worth it. They all have been.

I guess I should finish this and get in the shower so I can get ready for work. Thanks for reading and stay safe.

Animals, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Writing

Longing For Home

It was a good and restful night with Stella snuggled up on my pillow (only on the one side, she didn’t take up much room) and Essie along my legs and back. The only real disturbance was when Essie was stretching she was getting closer to my lower back and tailbone until she finally did kick it and caused severe pain. I was able to roll over and get my tailbone out of reach but it hurt from then on. I didn’t get mad because she to is in severe chronic pain and has been my shadow through this. Monday we’ll figure out what to do to ease her pain a bit. I know it won’t ever all go away but I want her to be able to do more if she wants to.

I keep forgetting to write a piece for the local paper, The Porcupine Press. I hope she will remember me but ultimately it will have to be my writing that speaks for me. If I write crap it won’t matter how memorable I was it won’t get published. I am wondering if I should use some of my vacation time soon. It’s only 20 hours but that would give me an extra couple of days off. But we are still in the busy season so I should probably wait. Maybe closer to my birthday.

Today I just really want to stay home and relax. I have to wait until Thursday to do that. I have Monday off but that afternoon is Essie’s appointment and then that evening I have a meeting. Followed by a meeting the next morning. Hang on. I hear a plane. Ok it’s not my plane apparently. Lol. I have a plane that will fly over several times if I happen to be laying out on a sunny day. No I am not offended. I feel a bit gratified to be on someone’s flight plane. And I find it a bit funny.

I had a very cool photo op this morning. Essie and I got up and went outside to greet the day. Essie was all alert and doing her thing. She quietly made her way to the back fence and just stood there. When I looked up there was a huge deer on the other side of the fence! I quietly stole back into the house (thankfully the telephoto lens was still on the Nikon), popped the cap off the end and stole back. I got a few photos before they bolted. Yes they. It turns out there was a second deer that I didn’t see a foot or so away hidden behind a bush. I snapped a few more photos but I don’t think I caught much. I’ll share the best ones.

The morning is slipping by too fast. I need to wrap this up and get some outside time in. I have three new plants to foster. Chris laughed at me when I brought them in last night. I told him it was either plants or puppies! 😁 I hope you all have a great day! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Today’s Challenges

I went to sleep with a headache and woke up with one. I even had fun in my dreams which usually dispels any stress headaches. So is it the weather or just stubborn? I know I went to bed frustrated with my novel. Writing in general if I am honest. I am not happy with myself or my work. Yesterday sparkled in front of me like a happy dream. A whole two days to do whatever I wanted. But I didn’t do that. Instead I did dishes, laundry, swept and washed the kitchen floor (I even scrubbed on my hands and knees…. yes stupid idea with my back but there we are), paid bills, set up appointments for today and played with the girls. No writing at all was in there. And when I did pull it all out I hit a mental wall. Now I have today off but it will pretty much be filled. I have appointments and running to do. (I’m not looking forward to the meeting tonight. The drive and I won’t be able to sit in the chairs with my tailbone.) I find myself feeling very glum.

Now I know that there will be spare moments. But I honestly think those spare moments will be spent trying to breathe. I just feel rushed and overwhelmed. Even when I’m not. Today will be busy but everything can fit and get done. Things might not be comfortable (I whine about going to the meeting but the driving that I have to do before that will be worse and I have no idea if I can sit when we go out for lunch this afternoon) but things will work out. But I still need time to breathe and not feel overwhelmed. And writing. I need to get back to that too. All I seem to do is this and my personal journal. There’s all the writing stuff that should/needs to be done for others. There is a lot that I just need to let go of. I missed the boat and need to move on. I still haven’t done anything for the editor of the local paper that offered to look at my writing for possible publication. (In my defense work has been hugely busy since she and I talked.) There is just so much…..

Today is another rain filled day. I had hoped to use my new swing (yes the same one I fell out of and broke my tailbone) but no joy. Both girls are asleep. Atleast the plants outside have gotten a good stead watering. I am training some of the beans to go up the tree they are planted under. The pumpkin seeds have taken off so I think we will have a bumper crop this fall. Good thing I know people with kids! (I got the big jack-o-lantern type of pumpkin seeds.)

I see that I have gone on at length. Thanks for listening… I will share some cool photos. One is of an Imperial moth that has been hanging out on our back door for the past day or so. He is as big as the palm of my hand! Beautiful too! I think the poor thing is trying to dry off (good luck in this weather!). I was tempted to move it say under the roof of the motorcycle pad but I didn’t want to do the wrong thing. So now I just try to be careful when I go in and out of the house.

See? There I go again. Chattering away… Ok so I am wrapping this up (I tell myself sternly). Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Writing

Now What…???

What a mess… Chris and I both hurt (different reasons, he worked on redoing the stairs in the garage for two days and my broken tailbone), the girls were freaking out over the storms that came through and then Essie gets restless and wants me to get up around daybreak. Essie kept getting up and down once the sun came up and wanted me up too. My alarm was set for 8am since I said I would come in an hour earlier to work. I got her to lay back down a few times but mostly she was up and down off the bed (which worried me because she can’t get up on the bed very well anymore). My alarm went off at 8am and we got up. She won’t go outside. She won’t eat. No frisbee. After Stella got up Essie snuck back in bed and I had to chase her out of the bedroom. Despite what it seemed she would’ve been up and down in bed with Chris and he wouldn’t have gotten any sleep either. I don’t know what is wrong with Essie. I have ideas but that requires a visit to the vet.

I did get a lot of photos taken yesterday. A new Monarch butterfly stopped by and was nice enough to let me take some pictures. She was a fairly new butterfly. Her wings had just dried. Then there were the storm clouds…. A storm literally circled us. The thunder started in the east. Over the next half hour I watched and heard the storm move north, then to the west, south and back to the east where it seemed to settle. It was very disconcerting. Today we have nothing but sun. So we’ll see how busy we get at work.

I have tomorrow off. My hopes are to try to relax and prioritize what I need to do. Both for me and for others. So for right now I will see what photos to add (and how much space I have left on here) and get this posted. I hope you all have a great day! Stay safe and thanks for reading!