Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Reading, Thinking, Writing

Alice Down the Rabbit Hole

Have you ever woken up and felt that something is off? I did this morning. I don’t know what or why but here we are. The girls are asleep on the couch. The skies outside look like dusk.

I spent pretty much all of yesterday reading. I almost made it through two Agatha Christie novels. I am at a loss this morning. I have spent the past 10 minutes looking around or staring at the screen. I find no comfort in my daily routine.

Is it that I need something new? Not purchased per say but a change of some kind. It truly feels like I don’t belong here. Something is off just enough… And I hate putting it like that but that is the crux of it. Essie keeps looking at me as if she senses it too. Something is not quite right.

I realize that at this point I sound like a nut but we all knew that I was so nothing new there. 😁 Well since I am getting nothing done on here but stare at the page I will wrap this up. I hope you all have a great day! Thank you to those that reached out to me yesterday. I appreciate the love. Thanks for reading and stay safe…

Animals, anxiety, Books, Dogs, Emotions, family, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Reading, Thinking, Writing

A Small Cookie

We might not have much snow but the temperature is a very bitter cold. It is in the negative numbers before the wind chill! I had to go and rescue both girls last night. My brave girls went outside to go potty when I got home but their paws got so cold that I had to go and carry them in because they could not walk. So I ordered them some boots. They are slated to be here Tuesday but hopefully sooner. I got them from Chewy. I don’t have time to drive all the way to Traverse to spend looking at boots.

I replaced Chris’s rocks glass that got broken. That arrived yesterday with my latest book ,I had to get it for free shipping 😁). It’s called Gory Details. Not only is it interesting so far but THE COVER GLOWS IN THE DARK! 😱 How amazing is that?! I didn’t know it when I picked it out.

Nuts. I have to head to work. More tomorrow! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Day of Reckoning

It has been a steady snow since we got up. Unlike yesterday it is the tiny flakes. We did not get hit as hard as they suggested we would. That being said it is a bitter cold out so I put both of the girls in their winter coats. I was shocked to see that Stella’s coat has become too small for her. It barely covers her back. I might… gulp…. pull out Moose’s and see if that fits her.

The sound of plow trucks has been steady around here. Which is interesting because on the days that we really needed it there were none to be heard. Now when we really don’t need it there they are.

Essie will be wearing her coat when we go to the vet. I am going to try to remember to bring a blanket for the back of the car for her. Those seats are cold! She and I will both be anxious. I am not happy about the fact that I can’t go in with her. I understand why but she gets so scared and me not being with her just makes it worse. It hurts my heart to see her like that.

I did get a big blessing from the Universe yesterday. This past summer a gentleman dropped a small packet of money. I was given it through the gas window because he had driven off. Well her never came back for it. It has been a few months. Since I “found” it I can claim it. The packet of money he dropped was $800. 😮 I tried not to cry as I was handed the envelope with the money. That means I should be able to swing whatever we need at the vet’s today. That is a big load off my mind. Now I can focus on getting Essie better.

I am hoping that with weather etc. someone will cancel and the vet will call. I also want to do some work on my novel. I am sure that it feels as though I no longer care about it. I finally find something that is going to make the story work and work well and I leave the novel. I used the excuse that I was letting things simmer but that is only true if you think about the story, which I have not. Since it has been several weeks (not months thankfully) I need to pick up my pen again. I also need to write a review for the Michael J. Fox book. I finished it a bit ago but I haven’t stepped up to write the review yet. We’ll see how the day goes. I still have a meeting to cover in Elk Rapids tonight. Ironically it is still on but the one I was supposed to cover Monday is off. I’m not going to tell work that. He will probably have the schedule done by the time I get there tomorrow anyway. So I will either get the day off or I will be early morning coverage. I am good either way. I just need to remember that I don’t have to go to Elk Rapids that day.

I see that I have gone on for a bit. I haven’t had a chance to get any new photos so I will see what I can dig up. I really appreciate all the support and good vibes! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, Reading, the World, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Love In A Snow Storm

We awoke to several inches of snow. Within 45 minutes the flakes had gone from coarse salt size to the size of a nickel. Then it went in the opposite direction. It is in the process of getting larger right now. Essie spent a good amount of time patrolling the fence line. Mostly at the back and she began and ended her patrols at Moose’s grave.

I called the vet yesterday morning. Essie has an appointment at 2pm. Since she hasn’t done anything but pee it will be x-rays right out of the gate. We are worried about a blockage. I am glad I saved my Christmas money. So I guess Essie and I will leave a little early and get that money deposited. I’m pretty sure it will all go toward her vet bill. I just hope and pray that I don’t have to make “that” decision. That scares me to death.

I didn’t get much done yesterday. I did water plants and do laundry (although the last load is in the dryer still). The girls and I went out to Moose’s grave for a bit and shared some banana chips with him. It was chilly enough I put coats on the girls since we were going to be out for a while. They had a good romp.

I got a surprise Christmas gift from Chris yesterday that helped to cheer me up. A little bit ago he purchased himself a light saber. He really enjoyed it and was doing his forms again (one of the things I always loved was watching him work through his sword forms). But apparently he wants someone to play with (these are ones that you can connect with but not full contact if you see what I mean). I have a thing for rooting for the bad guys a lot and that was the case when it came to Darth Maul in the new Star Wars movies (which I am not a big fan of, I prefer to stop at the first three… which technically are not the first in the story 🙄). So that is what I have. Darth Maul’s double saber. This set up has all kinds of bells and whistles that I have to figure out (volume being a big one… those things are loud when they talk to you!) but there are things like various sounds you can make (right now they sound like a traditional light saber when I move them through the air and I can make it sound like I am repelling laser gun fire) as well as being able to change the saber colors (I have gone with my favorite of red on both). So that will give me something to play with. It is quite large and heavy when both sabers are together but that will just strengthen my wrists. I think a lot of time will be spent outside once it starts to warm up (I will actually be able to get him out of his office! lol). And that is not a bad thing for either of us.

But my thoughts keep coming back to Essie. I am trying to plan things out in my head so I am not making decisions on emotion only on the spur of the moment. As much as it hurts I am trying to think things out. I want her to leave this world at home. She is terrified of going to the vet. And with the new restrictions in place I don’t think I would be let in and I am NOT leaving her alone with that. So I guess I would set something up to have them come out to the house. The next question is what are we going to do with the body? I would prefer to bury her out back with Moose but the ground is frozen solid. I don’t know if we can right now. I hate to send her away to be cremated. That will require some more thought.

I am sorry to be thinking out loud on this. My fingers are typing what is going on in my head without much filter this morning. My heart is feeling so brittle right now. One blow and it could shatter. I find myself looking at my Winnie-the-Pooh bracelet that I got myself. It says You are Braver than you believe-Stronger than you seem and Smarter than you think. I am not feeling any of that at the moment. (For those of you wondering where in the world that is in Winnie-the-Pooh it is what Pooh tells Piglet when Piglet’s house is flooding and he is freaking out (this is in the original books mind you, Pooh gives him a similar speech in the Disney movie). Pooh may have been a bear of very little brain but he sure was a smart one. ❤️ Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, the World, Thinking, Writing

Looking Through the Dark

Here we are. Another post in the dark. I have both girls out here with me. I guess this is the new routine. I feel bad not sitting with Stella on the love seat because Essie is on the couch and her tummy is gurgling so I am worried.

Today I don’t have any responsibilities today. That being said I might see if I can squeak out early. The coverage will be there. If we are dead like yesterday I may. I miss the family. Everyone at work understands why I am suddenly quiet and out of sorts.

I came home last night and pretty much went straight to bed after feeding the girls. I asked Chris not to feed them before I got home as I wanted to give Essie some more pumpkin to help with her issues. I did read for a bit and Chris would come in and talk about things while he played with the girls. Despite it all I had a hard time getting to sleep. I am hoping tonight will be different. Part of it is me only seeing the dark when I leave for work and come home. It has thrown my internal clack off. I am like the dogs so when it gets dark I start to get sleepy. I am not a fan of the dark all the time. The constantly overcast days are bad enough.

I read all your posts and everyone is so positive and looking forward to new things in the new year. Here I am struggling just to make it through the first week. No pictures again so I will see if I can get some repeats. Thanks for reading and all your kind comments. Stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Food, Guitar, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Music, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, the World, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Quality Fun With My Man

Everything feels off this morning. I am worried about Essie as her tummy is upset again. We may be going to the vet to start the new year. Yay. All she wants is to be loved on by me. I can hear her tummy across the room even over the furnace. If I lose her now… I can’t even cope.

Yesterday was an amazing afternoon with my Hubby! We ended up downtown Traverse (after several frustrating loops to find parking) and wandered a bit. It was a bit more wandering than we had intended. L’Amical was closed. So was the next restaurant. The one after that was short staffed so there was not one bussing the tables when they became empty. After a bit of waiting and no one asking if we needed to be seated we left. There were a few other choices along the way but none sounded good. So we ended up a Mackinaw Brewing for brunch. As always the food was excellent. The server even more so. Sadly I could not taste the flavors of either of our beers (I know it was me because Chris was able to pick out flavors used in the brewing process). To me they both tasted like water. Instead I decided (much to my happiness and giggles) to have a glass of “Sex”. That I could taste. (“Sex” is the name of a locally made champagne. Their other products have equally fun names.) The server and laughed together about me having “Sex” in public while Chris looked on wishing the moment would end, lol.

After brunch we made our way to the blessed bookstore. Sigh… I love our local bookstore! I got us both some much needed caffeine (double cappuccino with an extra shot of espresso for me and a large chai for Chris) (I had a good chat with a guy who worked on the local tall ship Madeline) and made my way through the store. The first thing I grab when I walk in the door is a copy of Michael J. Fox’s No Time Like The Future. This has been on my wish list for a bit. All three of his books. This happens to be the latest release. By the time we leave I have two books and a magazine (annoyingly I think I may already have a copy of the magazine). Chris got to motorcycle magazines (I will thumb through those when he is finished 😁).

From the bookstore we head to the local music shop. Chris needs a strap for his acoustic guitar and I figure I might as well get new strings for mine. We look through the strap selection and gasp a bit at the prices of the ones we like. Chris meanders a bit through the store ooing and ahhing over all the toys. While he is distracted I grab the strap that we both kinda liked and get that and my strings. When he comes back to pick out one of the cheapy straps I tell him to put it back and take his bag. He reaches for the cheapy strap again and I again tell him to put it down and take his bag. Then the penny drops (the guy that waited on me is behind the counter grinning the whole time). He looks in the bag and I get a big hug and thank you.

The next stop (this time we are on the road home) is Meijer’s. I end up leaving with the cutest little succulent! His name is George. After the quick run in that store we get a little closer to home and stop at Tractor Supply to get more canned food for the girls. While there I try on jeans (I can’t find a good fit even in mens sizes) and boots (I just want a plain basic cowboy boot… nothing fancy, no pointed toes or short boots). Nothing I want. A gal suggests that I try online and get it delivered to the store (I am thinking why not get it delivered to my house and save me the trip?) since they have a larger selection online. I agree and we depart with the canned dog food (Momma got a toy for each of the girls at Meijers so I was able to not go down the toy aisles there).

When we finally made it home I fed the girls (after we played for awhile with our new toys) and hunkered in bed for some serious reading. I am still reading two other books (one of which is a loaner from a friend and I need to really give it back soon) buuuuut I had to start the one by Michael J. Fox. As of right now I only have 78 more pages to go. Out of 238 pages. Ahem. Did I mention that I really wanted this book?

So we’ll hopefully all get some rest today. I will probably finish the one book and maaaaybe start another. I will write a review on the book when I am finished reading it. I am hoping to share some of the photos I took while we were out and about. I’m not sure how many I will be able to do as I took them with my phone which means they will take up more space in my media on here than my Nikon (I can download those as a smaller size). So we’ll see. I hope all of you have the best 2022 that you deserve! Thanks for all the love and support this year! Thanks for reading and stay safe! See you next year!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Guitar, Learning, Life, Love, Music, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Thinking, Writing

Playing the Blues

For whatever reason both girls are out here with me. This early normally they go back to bed after breakfast. The missing snow has found us. The wind is blowing it, often times in a horizontal wall, from East to West. Then the wind will stop abruptly and the snow seems to just hang in midair.

I know I got sleep. I refused to look at the clock so I couldn’t tell you how much. I am just looking forward to coming home at 2pm. Tomorrow we can sleep in because I close. I am closing cashier but there are three of us. I’m not sure why we need so many but it will allow me to come home briefly to take delivery of the replacement monitor for Chris.

I spent a good part of yesterday reading. We did start to learn the song Everlong. Chris got further than I did but I tried a little. I have a bit that I would like to have learned by this weekend. We’ll see how that goes.

I am trying not to poo poo everything. It just feels like I am trying to do too much. Like I am setting myself up to fail.

I had better get this wrapped up so I can get ready to go. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, the World, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Enjoying the Beauty and Simplicity

Essie is upset because she saw me stretch before beginning this and had hoped that meant that I was done. She and her sister are curled up on the couch together. I did get her to finally eat about midday. Oh now she has gotten some love and is curled up behind me on the love seat. Goofball. And now she is going to lay in front of the bedroom door. Busy puppy. 🙄

Not much got done that was planned but that is ok. It was a good day and that is all that matters. I love the books Chris got me. He got me a three-book collection of Coraline, The Graveyard Book and “Fortunately, The Milk by Neil Gaiman as well as The Wander’s Guide To Dragon Keeping by an author I found here on WordPress Ashley O’Melia. We got a beautiful small handmade olive oil pot and small but very tasty bottle of espresso liquor (both made in Israel) from Chris Mom and Stepdad. For the occasion I pulled out the hand-blown liquor glasses that my parents brought back from Italy for my Grandma (Dad’s Mom). And I set them out on a little tablecloth that my Grams (Mom’s Mom) embroidered.

Mom and I had a good long chat trying to figure out when was a good time to get together after the first of the year. She has several appointments the first two weeks so we might put it off til the end of January. We’ll see. I have to show her how to get on Amazon and look at the lists. (Yes I sent her a link but she is having some issues with things so it will just be easier if I am there to see what is wrong instead of her trying to explain it over the phone.)

This morning is quiet and dark. We did get some sun yesterday which the girls and I took advantage of. When I opened the door to let them out this morning even the ever-present roosters were silent. It was as if everything had stopped for a moment. I just stood there in the doorway and listened. Then Essie reminded me that I needed to make them breakfast.

I find myself getting lost in the quiet. I kept the door open for a little bit despite the cold outside (still no snow) because I just wanted to feel it. During the summer months that door is wide open as often as I can. The girls can go in and out and I can just sit and stare while sitting on the porch. I miss feeling the breeze on my face during the winter months. And with no snow then it doesn’t feel like it is winter so …..

I got a few photos over the course of the day that I will share. The really cool one was the eagle that flew overhead. I am not sure how good the shot will be as I did not have the right lens on (I was out there to get pictures of the blue sky and clouds). Hopefully I can get it blown up and keep the photo looking clean. We’ll see! I should probably wrap this one up and get my day started. I hope everyone has an amazing day! Thank you for all the well wishes yesterday! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Music, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Riding, the World, Thinking, Writing

It Looks A Lot Like… Anything But Christmas

Merry Christmas to those that celebrate it! The morning is grey and dark but there is no snow! So we have grey, brown and green as our color palate for today. And I am ok with that. There are no plans other than just hanging out and doing whatever. Chris and I will exchange our books later today. Since he wants digital copies of everything I am just going to have him pick them out and I will buy them right on his device (purchasing digital copies for someone else on your device is a pain in the tush). The girls have a big box of treats to choose from although I don’t think that Essie will eat any. She’s not feeling good again. Stella got sick in the wee hours this morning. I about broke my neck trying to get across the bedroom and get her out the door (gem that she is she was already at the door trying not to get sick in the house). But Stella ate breakfast whereas Essie did not.

Work was either busy or dead no in-between. We closed at 6pm but I have no idea how late they ended up staying open. Sometimes it is difficult to stem the flow of the last-minute shoppers. I got some lovely chocolate treats from one of my regulars and then another yummy chocolate raspberry champagne truffle bar from a coworker. I will be snacking on those later today!

Since I have two days in a row off I will be able to make more of an effort toward various goals I have for myself. I will just divide up the tasks over both days instead of trying to cram it all into one day. Today I will go through my media on here and atleast clear out enough to get a few photos posted on today’s blog. I think I might also watch some of my educational DVDs. Oh yeah, we are going to pull out our acoustic guitars at one point so we can learn “Everlong” by the FooFighters. I LOVE the acoustic version and I asked Chris if he would teach me (I thought he knew it already). Surprise! He doesn’t know it but he wants to learn it together. This will be the first time we have played together. I have to admit that I am a bit intimidated. He is a much better player than I am. He will pick it up quickly whereas I will plod along trying to get the fingering and strumming right. I have forgotten so much from class!

I think I will try to call both of my parents today. It will just be a question of when. I can’t tell you how excited I am over no snow today! I know that a lot of people are disappointed… but I am not one of them. In all honesty we could even go out for a Christmas ride on the bikes…. we’ll see. Maybe we can slate that for tomorrow. Ok, I am going to clean out my media to make room for some photos I want to share with you. I hope you all have an amazing day! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Guitar, Learning, Life, Love, Movies, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, the World, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Giving Until You Can’t, Then Finding A Balance

Dealing with the public can be/is exhausting. The past few days I have been buzzing around work giving 110%. Fixing problems with a smile, listening to customers and coworkers alike while giving hugs and drying tears. About 5pm last night my everything was done and wanted desperately to go home.

Living in a small town makes my workplace a central fixture for the community. I love being a part of that. I love being able to make a difference in people’s lives. Writing for the local paper also helps me do that. Even the simple task of listening to a meeting and writing a little summary can help someone who cannot make it to said meeting. (A lot of our meetings went on Zoom last year but a good portion of them have opted out of continuing that. I don’t think everyone- both the government officials and the public- realized how much it was needed. Many older or sick people were able to learn about what was going on in the local government firsthand. People became interested in what was going on.)

I feel bad not wanting to go anywhere in my off time. People want to go out and meet but I usually just want to stay home. I spend so much time “on” that I need some time to be “off”. Even at home I want to be left alone sometimes. I just enjoy the quiet and solitude (which is why I love having the 5 acres that we live on). I am grateful that Chris works nights sometimes because he will sleep in later and the girls will go back to sleep until he gets up. The house is silent. No one needs or wants anything from me. I can just enjoy being.

Spring and Summer are best for me because I can go outside and enjoy Nature for extended periods. I will sit and read for hours. Or conversely take photos and just enjoy the out of doors. I don’t like being cooped up in the house for extended periods despite being a homebody. But if I am I tend to either lose myself in books or go through my memories by looking through various treasure troves I have around the house. That can be a good or a bad thing depending on my mindset.

Something I have (that I forget about) are various tools to learn new things. I have various DVDs on yoga (I am not quite at an advanced level), photography, writing (I figure looking at things from another’s perspective may help me), guitar (I am an extreme novice in this despite various classes over the years) and various languages (mostly Italian since that is my current love… but I would like to brush up on my French as it has been many years since I have had to use it consistently). Most of the time though I make excuses not to do anything. Sometimes that is good but other times… I say that because I know that once I get involved in something I will get interested and follow through. Atleast for a little while.

I see that I have gone on here for quite a bit. I will wrap this up and get it posted. Thanks for reading and commenting! Stay safe!