anxiety, Books, Creativity, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, the World, Thinking, Writing

Focused Randomness

I am beginning to think that Mother Nature has something against me. Once again nothing but sun and warmth when I work. Today? Supposed to be partly sunny and warm. But what do I have? Think dark clouds and chilly weather. I seem to get no summer on my days off. And I could really use some summer today.

I looked at my calendar for the month of August. It is very very full. I made mention of this to my boss yesterday. He seemed completely unconcerned and said that it was no biggie. We would work through it. A completely different response than I would’ve gotten at Younker’s.

My mind is jumping all over the place this morning. I had a strange dream that I remember a good deal of. Including two books that I needed to have in the dream, which I happen to own so I have dug one of them out. The other (I think) is in the bedroom so that will have to wait until Chris gets up. I find that if my mind shows me specific things it is for a reason. So in certain situations I will try to find those things and interact with them. In this case read.

I have been given an extra push to keep going on my novels. A coworker not only has published a book (apparently several) but we are selling them at work. Jealous does not begin to cover my feelings. That being said I am trying to use that to keep going and finish my novels. So wish me luck!

My problem is that there is so much to do on my days off because there is so little time to do anything on the days that I work. And it’s big things like mowing the yard (Chris has very bad allergies) or vacuuming or talking to either of my parents (our phone calls are usually several hours… thank goodness we aren’t charged by the minute anymore!). There is only so much that I can cram into one day. So I try to pick and choose. Some days I just get too overwhelmed and nothing gets done.

Well I need to make some choices. One of them is to wrap this up so I can get going on something else. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, the World, Thinking, Travel, Writing

A Little Here And A Little There

Another day. It’s cloudy but the sun is filtering through. I am hoping the day at work goes fast like it did yesterday. I am just plain tired. Weekends are always hard for me. I usually close and on Sundays I am usually always manager. I get home late and stay up even later to spend time with the family. I don’t get much sleep because I have to get up at a relatively decent time to get everything done before I head back out. I am grateful that I only live about 5-10 minutes from work. If I was doing this and working in Traverse (especially this time of the year with all the tourists) I would barely be functioning.

We got our first batch of tomatoes from the plants the other day. They have been ripening about one a day. The average size is about the size of a tennis ball. They are very sweet! I am looking forward to more treats from our gardens this year. I am very excited to see how the pumpkins do. i need more dirt so I can plant some hot peppers (the seeds are a variety pack). I plan to do those in pots so I can keep them year round.

I got a lot done yesterday before work on my novel. It doesn’t look like much but I am pleased. This is gonna take a while at the current rate though. I am just too tired most days to even attempt working on it. But I want to keep going at it. I know we will slow down once summer is over (which sucks because I haven’t really been able to enjoy my favorite time of year and I have plenty of time during the season I am not very fond of) and I will have more free time.

I got a letter from one of my pen pals and I want to read it before I have to go to work. So I need to wrap this up. I will share some more photos from my little trip on Thursday. Have a great day! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, Thinking, Writing

Some Forward Motion

Today looks like a good day to spend outside. I finally have a day off with sunshine and the temperature is going up. We will water the plants (I am so proud of all my plants as they are doing AMAZINGLY well… even if a damn chipmunk ate my peppers that were growing). I have to admit that I am concerned about my sunflower plants that are coming up in the rock garden. I don’t want them to get eaten. I might even put my swing back up. Chris has it rigged so that I can just pop the knot out when I need to bring it in. It is very clever and very easy for me to do. If the weather looks good for the next few days I think it will go back up.

I am trying not to think of the “mad rush” that will happen this afternoon and evening. It’s not that big of a deal but it is to me. especially since I am worried about Essie. That just makes the stress about having the vet visit then leaving for the meeting a few hours later (depending on how long our visit lasts). I just feel like I am always running on my days off.

I think I might pull out a few of my research books for the novel and see if that will help. What needs to happen is that I need to learn about my characters. I have a great story but very thin characters. I don’t know them. I know about them. I’m not sure what to do about fixing that. I need more support characters as well. But right now everyone is just a bunch of names and circumstances.

Essie is bugging me to get outside and play. Stella will join in as soon as it is obvious that I am putting the laptop away. Right now she is asleep on the couch with her head on the arm. And since I am grasping for words to write I should probably wrap this up. I hope you all have a fab day! Stay safe and thanks for reading!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Today’s Challenges

I went to sleep with a headache and woke up with one. I even had fun in my dreams which usually dispels any stress headaches. So is it the weather or just stubborn? I know I went to bed frustrated with my novel. Writing in general if I am honest. I am not happy with myself or my work. Yesterday sparkled in front of me like a happy dream. A whole two days to do whatever I wanted. But I didn’t do that. Instead I did dishes, laundry, swept and washed the kitchen floor (I even scrubbed on my hands and knees…. yes stupid idea with my back but there we are), paid bills, set up appointments for today and played with the girls. No writing at all was in there. And when I did pull it all out I hit a mental wall. Now I have today off but it will pretty much be filled. I have appointments and running to do. (I’m not looking forward to the meeting tonight. The drive and I won’t be able to sit in the chairs with my tailbone.) I find myself feeling very glum.

Now I know that there will be spare moments. But I honestly think those spare moments will be spent trying to breathe. I just feel rushed and overwhelmed. Even when I’m not. Today will be busy but everything can fit and get done. Things might not be comfortable (I whine about going to the meeting but the driving that I have to do before that will be worse and I have no idea if I can sit when we go out for lunch this afternoon) but things will work out. But I still need time to breathe and not feel overwhelmed. And writing. I need to get back to that too. All I seem to do is this and my personal journal. There’s all the writing stuff that should/needs to be done for others. There is a lot that I just need to let go of. I missed the boat and need to move on. I still haven’t done anything for the editor of the local paper that offered to look at my writing for possible publication. (In my defense work has been hugely busy since she and I talked.) There is just so much…..

Today is another rain filled day. I had hoped to use my new swing (yes the same one I fell out of and broke my tailbone) but no joy. Both girls are asleep. Atleast the plants outside have gotten a good stead watering. I am training some of the beans to go up the tree they are planted under. The pumpkin seeds have taken off so I think we will have a bumper crop this fall. Good thing I know people with kids! (I got the big jack-o-lantern type of pumpkin seeds.)

I see that I have gone on at length. Thanks for listening… I will share some cool photos. One is of an Imperial moth that has been hanging out on our back door for the past day or so. He is as big as the palm of my hand! Beautiful too! I think the poor thing is trying to dry off (good luck in this weather!). I was tempted to move it say under the roof of the motorcycle pad but I didn’t want to do the wrong thing. So now I just try to be careful when I go in and out of the house.

See? There I go again. Chattering away… Ok so I am wrapping this up (I tell myself sternly). Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Thinking, Writing

Dreams, Stories from the Mind

I don’t have good dreams and bad dreams. I have good dreams and dreams that tell me stories. What other people consider bad dreams I enjoy because not much really scares me. Not like things in my dreams can. So I ( because I love horror) look at those dreams as a good story to tell. If it scares me can it scare others? And it was a dream that even if I went back to sleep I went right back into the dream where I left off. That tells me it is a good dream and I am meant to remember it. So as soon as I got up and got the door open I went and got paper and pen and filled both front and back with bullet points about the dream. I think I will try to turn it into a short story. It has been a long time since I made a serious effort to do a short story. I could turn it into a novel but that will be for a different day. Today it will become a short story.

Other plans for the day include getting groceries, gas for the mower and then mowing the lawn (front and back). Tomorrow sometime I will make the cupcakes for Essie’s birthday. The extras I will take to work. I have already told everyone who might be interested. So I have decided that I think I will make an extra batch for work. We’ll see. My clever plan was to only make 11 cupcakes (one being a heart for Essie) and then the rest will have white frosting with purple 11s on the top. But the excitement for them at work makes me think that I might need more than the seven I would have left over. Sooooo….

Since I got up late (Essie let me sleep til after 9:30am) I need to get my day started. I also need to go apologize to my husband. He got up not long after I started writing this and was trying to talk to me while I was writing and I got a bit snappish (I don’t mulitask well when I first get up with limited coffee). I hope everyone has a good day! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, Gardening, Learning, Life, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, the World, Thinking, Writing

Creativity Abounds

Another late day for me. I seem to have almost completely reverted back to my night owl ways. Then I do these early morning appointments and it really throws me off. Why do I still do them? because then I will still have the rest of the day to myself. I find that as I get older I get impatient for something like that to just be over with. If I do it later in the day it also seems to take longer than it was supposed to. Monday’s appointment is case in point. I ended up having to get x-rays and such so I didn’t leave there until after 10am. If I had a later appointment I would’ve been bemoaning the loss of most of my day.

I may have landed another freelance job last night. I was asked a question about some of our deli food by a customer. It turns out she was the owner of a local (mind you it is read all the way over in Wisconsin and is published form the Upper Peninsula) newspaper. I got a free copy and we had a good chat about what they look for in a story. So. 😁 I don’t know any details (I was alone in the deli with my trainee and I had several people waiting for meat to be sliced when I had finished talking with her…my trainee was a minor so he couldn’t use the slicer) so i don’t know anything past what they look for in a story. Oh and they are bi-monthly.

I am also stepping forward with my photography. I am going to make a serious effort on my web site as well as trying to promote it. (Purchase digital downloads and prints by Jennifer Griffin<BR><BR>https://www.picfair.com/users/JenGriffin). So after I finish this I am going to my site and see what I can to with it. Hopefully I will have time to upload a few photos. That always takes so long to do because I have to go and add search words (atleast five for each photo) as well as name the photo and give a description. When I try to upload a big chunk of photos that takes a mighty long time to do.

Well if I am going to get all this done before work I need to get moving. I hope you all have a great day! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, anxiety, Books, Creativity, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Nature, Photography, Reading, Thinking, Writing

Trying to Take Care

Dad and I had a good long talk (a little over three hours). I also got to share some cool outside things with him while we chatted. I walked into the gardens and he was able to watch a Monarch butterfly hangout and feed on the milkweed. He had never seen milkweed with the buds or flowering before. So I was pretty proud we could share that moment.

I didn’t do much else yesterday. I spent some quality time in the sun recharging my batteries. I did read on of my research books while I was out there so I didn’t completely slack off. I also got some really cool photos. I was able to get some shots of a morning visitor on the porch before Essie went out. I am very pleased about that one!

Oh, so doctor update. My doctor and I had a good talk (I forgot some of my questions again) and she answered what questions I did remember. We addressed my bruised heel for one. After my appointment with her I went to x-ray and they did two or three views. It sucked because I was laying on a hard surface and my back hated it. Then I had to twist my leg a certain way for a view and that hurt like nobody’s business. I didn’t say anything because it wasn’t for that long (not even five minutes) but it stayed with me the rest of the day. It turns out that I have a good sized bone spur and a bruised Achille’s tendon. Go me! So I am being referred to a podiatrist. (Not sure of the spelling… a foot doctor.)

This is going to be expensive to do all this. But I am trying to do the right thing by me and go to the doctor with my problems (some long term) to see if they can be addressed and (hopefully) fixed. I hope that I am doing the right thing.

Well I guess I should wrap this up. I got my latest issue of Writer’s Digest and I think I will read that a little before work. I also need to send in my word count to the paper. I keep forgetting. I hope you all have a great day! Stay safe and thanks for reading!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, dreams, Emotions, Gardening, Learning, Life, Nature, Photography, Reading, Travel, Writing

Fuzzy Focus

It’s early. Way too early for how late I went to bed. But my body and mind are used to staying up after I get home from work, not going right to bed. And it has been busy don our road too. Busier than normal.

My doctor’s appointment is at 9am. I want to go but I also really want to stay home and get some sleep. I made a physical list of things I want to talk to her about this time. I know that I will forget things when I am tired and just want to get things over with.

I want to keep going with my novel today. Even if it is just to take some more notes about the plot or various characters. I ought to start going through the recent batch of research books too. I am hoping that the girls will let me do my thing when I get home from the doctor. That is also assuming that I don’t just curl up on the couch and sleep.

I was reading over the notes I took about the book I am reviewing for a friend. I think I will just write it as it is. So that is some thing I can do and then it will be off my plate. One less thing to beat myself up about. I think I will also make a master list (if you will) of what I need to be doing. Not just things like bills but also working on my novel, research, writing for various people etc.

I’m sorry this is so short. I am fighting to keep my eyes open. That means I need a way to wake up so I can drive to my appointment. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Thinking

Sleepy Rain

It has been overcast and rainy since yesterday morning. We need the rain but it makes us all very sleepy. The birds seem to be chipper and buzzing around. And that is good. I got both packets of pumpkin seeds and a packet of habanero pepper seeds in the ground before the rain got serious yesterday. So hopefully those will take off.

The family got to spend some quality time together yesterday so that was nice. I got a good chunk of work done on my novel before Chris got up. I am very happy because I made a major breakthrough for my main character. Now I just need to pull it all together. I am hoping to do that (or atleast start) before work today. I may just read some research books instead. I am very sleepy and I worry that I will forget about work. I’m closing manager so I can’t afford to be late. I am glad I am manager tonight so I can sit down. My back and such aren’t very happy today. I go to the doctor tomorrow morning. I need to write down my questions and concerns. Since it is a morning appointment I will be too busy waking up to remember my questions so my goal is to get them written down over the course of the day.

I had a good chat with Mom. She is having problems with her medication. bad problems so I am hoping to get her to go in (or atleast talk) to her doctor. Dad and I still haven’t managed to connect. I am tempted to try to call him. Even if it is $7 a minute. We’ll see how tomorrow goes.

The milkweed was very busy yesterday. I got some decent photos I think. We’ll see once I get them downloaded. I still need to update my photography site. I’ve not added any new photos nor have I done anything to the site itself in terms of making it look good. If I can’t get ahold of Dad tomorrow I may spend a few hours doing that. It needs to be done if I plan to sell any of my work.

The rain is coming down harder. My coffee is almost empty. Essie doesn’t feel very good I don’t think. She can’t seem to settle anywhere and get comfortable. I need to wrap this up so I can try to get stuff done before I have to leave for work. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Life, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, the World, Thinking, Writing

Planting and Waiting

Despite another cold night I think that the plants are ok. I wasn’t able to bring them in due to my back. But I am happy to say that everyone seems ok. The sun is warming everything up. I got a lot of planting, potting and repotting done yesterday afternoon. I will need to water this morning though. Mother Nature watered for me in the form of a thunderstorm yesterday afternoon. This also included quite a bit of hail. The ice bits were small and don’t seem to have done much damage. I am grateful.

I gave some of the potted plants to one of my coworkers. Since I took the last two flats of plants the day before (they were free) and it sounded like they were looking at them as well. It was the same two plants, a type of cilantro and sylvian. I had never heard of sylvian as an herb before. But there was a lot of each. Some are in pots and the rest in the ground. The fire ants were not happy that I not only cleaned up a spot but had the audacity to actually dig holes in my rock garden. Thus I came out of that planting session with a few bites.

I managed to get one letter finished to my British pen pal and I started my letter to my Maryland pen pal. I didn’t get much else down. I had a meeting last night as well. It was my first in person meeting since the pandemic hit. I felt bad because my back was not happy after the first 45 minutes of the meeting, I kept stretching to try to get it to relax but the chairs there don’t agree with my back. But I will make due. That is why I try to sit at the back. That way if I do have issues I can be discreet about it.

Sadly my novel is getting dusty. I haven’t done anything with it in a long time. I find myself doing everything but. The girls are getting more demanding. I understand. I put in a lot of hours last week so we didn’t play near as much as normal. When I was home I was beat. I am hoping to do more with them this week. But then what about my novel? It is hard to find a balance. Then there are all the research books I have that I want to read. I have them sitting in a pile near me.

I need to wrap this up. My leg is starting to hurt from something being pinched. I hope you all have a fab day! Thanks for reading and stay safe!