Aging, Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Spring????

The morning has a slight chill but it is sunny. The wind comes and goes. When it does come it is a bit forceful. I would like to work a bit outside today. I am currently having a stand-off with a local red tailed squirrel. I refuse to put the bird feeder back up until it has left. I know fully well that it will come back at a later time to eat. It is the principle of the thing. Meantime it is on the porch. I’ll probably put it back up once I head out to do my writing. Hopefully things don’t get blown off the porch and table!

Yesterday was a good day at work despite the lack of sleep. I was a bit of a zombie off and on but I think I handled myself well. I joked around with our store manager and other management staff. It was nice to actually talk with everyone. Normally we are all so busy trying to get things done that it is a “Hi!” as we rush past.

I have taken on the role of friend/adopted daughter to one of my coworkers. We were friends way before he started working there but we have gotten closer. (This is the guy I has talking about the other day that had the stroke.) Yesterday was his first day back to work. He had to get a ride to work (his truck is still in Florida and I am pretty sure that he isn’t supposed to be driving anyway despite what he claims) and I came back to give him a ride home at the end of his shift. I have also offered to take him to any doctor appointments he might have. (His son lives with him but he can’t drive either.) It would be cheaper than him having to call a cab or “dial-a-ride” as he calls it since the appointments would be in Traverse.

He was refusing to eat as he had lost 12lbs (that he really can’t afford to lose) and he didn’t want to put it back on. I managed to convince him that he should atleast do something like Ensure since his body needs something for energy to continue to function. I bullied him a little but he took it all in stride. His brain is still bleeding slightly and he knows that he needs to get into the doctor. I know that work will be nice enough to work around any appointments that I might need to drive him to.

Stella is already outside enjoying the sun. I think I will wrap this up and join her. I have gotten a few more photos that I will share. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Just Another Day

This is the first time in about a month that Stella has eaten breakfast! We had a good cuddle and played a lot when I got home from work. She is still in a bit of a funk but this morning the sun is out so hopefully that and a car ride will help. I need to pick up my prescription after I post this.

Last night was a tearful night. I dried many tears last night. One was due to bullying and the others recent deaths. So, it was a bit somber for a while. We still laughed but it wasn’t as happy as normal.

I think I might stop at McDonald’s and get Stella and I a little something. I am not up to going through the whole making coffee with the French press. Truth be told I haven’t been for a few days now. I just make myself tea. This morning I would like coffee. I know they were supposed to be doing a remodel, but I don’t know when.

I want to say thank you to everyone that reached out over the past few days. It means a lot when I am a bit down on myself. I did try to do some work on the novel, but I just stared at the page. I hope to be able to do some work today, but it will depend on how long it takes to run to Kalkaska and back.

I know this is short and relatively uneventful. Not much is going on here. Tomorrow will be another short one as I will close tonight and have to be back at 6:30am tomorrow morning. Thanks for reading and stay safe! I’ve not taken any new photos so I will share some of my old ones.

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Automotive, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Feeling Broken

This morning neither Stella nor I feel good. We were both in a funk last night and this morning isn’t much better. We woke up with upset stomachs around 2:30am. Stella had to keep going out. This morning she went out and stayed out a long time. She is curled up on the couch under some blankets. I am not much better. My body is having a hard time getting around. I think/hope that it is temporary from everything I did over the past few days.

I am not in a good head space either. Part of it is lack of sun but part of it is watching things around me fall apart. I talked with one of my coworkers (he was a friend even before he started working with me). He has been in Floridia for the past month visiting family. He drove down because he had several stops along the way. He is in his 80s. Turns out he had a stroke while he was down there. He seems to be ok but I’ve not seen him in person yet. He can’t drive his truck so he has flown back. He will arrange to have the truck shipped back. But we talked and he is going to stop by the store to talk to me. I’m not sure if he will have to quit or what. Then Mom pulls a “who’s that?” when I ask her if she would reach out to a mutual friend. I tried to remind her of who the person was. A few hours later she claims that she was only joking. She knew who it was. I’m not so sure.

On a positive note I did get work done on my novel. That’s all I have. I’m sure there are other things but right now my mind isn’t there. So this will be a short post. I will have to recycle some photos as I got none taken yesterday. I hope you have a great day! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Thinking, Writing

Day Off: Round 2

This morning I hurt in bad ways. I can barely move at times. Sitting down to write this brought tears to my eyes. My core hates me. It is a cold and dreary day so I am seriously thinking about making this a reading day. I did work on the novel and made some very good progress. I will give myself 30 minutes to work on my novel but the rest of the day I will work on my research. I am beat.

Yesterday I chatted with Mom on the phone while Chris chatted with his Dad. That was after swapping out the couch in Chris’s office with the one in the living room. To be fair Chris did most of the work. I just complained because I wanted to just hunker in for the day. Laundry got done (the cushion covers and such got washed) and the mattress got aired out (the one in his office had a pullout bed). Dishes still need to be done. I should finish vacuuming but I honestly don’t think my body will let me do much today.

I made myself get up this morning. I really wanted to stay in bed and sleep. I did not reset the clock in the bedroom correctly. It is an hour off. I thought I was getting up at 9:30am when in fact it was 8:30am. So that actually worked in my favor. I will need to change it when Chris gets up though. I have no idea what day it is anymore. It feels like a Sunday. And apparently, I am opening manager on Thursdays and Saturdays now. I am ok with that. I will be able to talk to my tobacco rep. then.

There is a fog coming in from the south. I can hear bits of rain falling. The birds are singing away. I think it is time for me to hunker in. I did get the camera out yesterday so I have some new photos to share. Both buds on my orchid have opened! AND I have two, count them two!, cucumbers growing! Yay! On that note I hoe you have an amazing day! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, Exercise, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Spring Happenings🦋

I am wiped out. Yesterday at work was crazy. Between the people and all the chaos… Then I got home and Chris and I hauled a bunch of stuff out to the curb (tomorrow is our annual clean up day with the county, this year they are picking the stuff up at the curb instead of us hauling it to them). After Chris went to work I hauled a bunch more stuff out on my own. Funnily enough it is not my lower back that is sore. It is my upper back and shoulders. So hopefully that is a good thing showing that I did not over tax my lower back. I may need to go out and move things around though. It is funny watching people drive by and stop to take a look at what we have hauled to the curb. It’s like a rolling yard sale, but everything is free! The two AC units we put out there were gone within minutes. And I have to say that our yard looks a lot better. I hauled out stuff left by the builders (I use the term loosely) when they built our garage as well as just general stuff that had not been even looked at for years. Tomorrow sometime will be the pick up. They will have their work cut out for them looking at everything that has been hauled out. I hope they use all their trucks!

Stella also was busy. She got the zoomies and went tearing through the yard several times. I threw the ball all over the place too. So hopefully she got her exercise. She still won’t eat breakfast and she didn’t eat all of her dinner either. But she ate and she seemed a little perkier. But there is still something bothering her. Depression? Anxiety? I’m not sure. But both of us will be home on Sunday so hopefully that will cheer her.

The grass in the backyard is actually green! The front yard not so much. But that is ok. We plan to get some grass seed planted this Spring. When we go over for Mother’s Day next Saturday I hope to get a general idea of what Mom wants out front in her yard. I told her I would help her get it all set up and seeded. I have gotten her some seeds for her garden. I want to get her some more but I need to get to the store. I need to start getting some dirt as well (for my gardens though). We sell mulch at work so I am thinking that once I get the front flower beds cleaned up (and I mean a good deep digging out) I will borrow both Chris and his truck to get some and get it spread out. If that does well I will do the same with the gardens across the back of the house. The other gardens will need to be weeded on a regular basis though. I need to decide if I want black or red mulch. Although I could just mix them…

I got some decent photos yesterday. The waxwings are not shy at all. They have no problems with me taking photos of them. Some of the birds, like the cardinals, are very shy when they see me come out with the camera. If it is just me no big deal but if I have the camera they will fly off. I still need to go to mhy neighbor’s and take a few photos of her trees. The way they are lined up is just so cool!

I should probably wrap this up and go check the bird feeder. It sounds like we have a new bird by the singing I just heard. Oh! I forgot to share! The birds nest that is in the awning over the motorcycle pad has been claimed by a robin so I might try to sneak a few photos over the next few weeks. Thank you for all your comments and support! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Puppy Concerns

Stella is asleep on her back beside me. She won’t eat breakfast but she got up as soon as I did this morning. She has been pretty cling since I got home last night.

Work went quick because we were pretty steady from the get go. I had pretty much all decent customers so that helped. Today I just need to make it til one.

My wrists are starting to flare up again. Almost bad enough that I come close to dropping things. This Summer might be interesting if I have that going on. It will effect so much! Gardening, writing, riding, scratching the dog…

I’ve not had a chance to take any new photos so I will have to share some older ones. I will try to take some after work. It will be a busy afternoon as it is. I need to squeeze in a walk for Stella as well. She’s not been doing well and I am worried. She’s having accidents in the house again. It has been several weeks since she ate breakfast (although when I brought chicken home from work I got her to eat) but she does eat dinner. There are a few other things but you get the idea. She has a check up on the 16th of May so we’ll see what they say.

I need to wrap things up and head out the door. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Emotions, Learning, Life, Nature, Tattoos, Thinking, Writing

To Make Mistakes And Move On

I had such great plans for yesterday but all I got was stress. I don’t like people being mad at me, but I also have to stand up for myself. My tattoo artist will fix my tattoo (he thinks that it his best work) but I am pretty sure that neither of us will be seeing each other again. He tried to suggest simple things he could do that might “fix” the way it looks. Then he showed me a piece that he could put over the portrait opposite the mask. I really like that one. I told him so. Then I am accused of bad mouthing him in public (which I did not). He was polite about it and I was polite back. Funny thing is that is probably what got him to respond to my messages. Anyway I am completely stressed out by the whole thing. I have to wait a month for what I have to heal. I am looking forward to the result but going back there not a fan. And the other tattooer was there on the couch on his phone but I knowing him he was probably videoing the whole thing incase something happened. He’s a nut job anyway.

Just when I get my anxiety under control it is time for the meeting. Fortunately the Zoom like worked because the snow stuck and the roads were a bit slick. It was a long meeting but interesting. I am curious to see what will happen regarding some of the buildings going up. Then at the end I was told of an error I had made in my last article on that meeting. As soon as the meeting was over I sent the paper an email regarding the mistake and I included it in the article. Hopefully that has all my bases covered. But the mistake made me feel like a failure. I’m not but the emotions say otherwise.

Instead of writing what I got done was laundry, dishes and I watered the plants. Oh and my high tops and tennis shoes got washed and are drying. Before I leave I need to fill the bird feeder. I am now out of time. I gotta get ready to go. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Thinking, Writing

Pondering and Puttering

Yesterday was bright, warm and filled with sun. Today is warm but the clouds are thick and grey. We will probably get some rain soon. I am hoping to sneak in a walk with Stella before then. We were going to yesterday when I got home from work but she was way too hot from running and playing. Right now she is lying beside me on the floor as I type, hoping for lots of love. The weather is so comfortable I find myself staring off into space and not really thinking of much.

I slept about 12 hours. Some of it was conquering a panic attack in the wee hours. My mind brought up everything I could be doing better (or not at all to be better). I wouldn’t say I woke up refreshed but I do feel better. Work was busy (for me atleast). I spent a lot of time helping out in the deli. I made… 48 chicken pot pies. I buzzed around the store every once in a while, to make sure all was well in my kingdom and to give breaks. I got home and I was exhausted. But I was still able to spend quality time with Chris and Stella. My body is telling me that I did quite a bit yesterday. So far it is sore in a general way.

I hear the wind picking up again. That seems to be a thing this year. Strong winds. Despite the decent weather yesterday and today (today qualifies because it is warm) we are dropping back toward freezing the next few days. That sucks. I like being warm. I enjoy having the house open and puttering in my gardens. The other day before work I yanked up a good chunk of ivy that was taking over a big corner of my gardens. I want to put my plants out but I don’t trust the weather. And there are so many I just don’t have the energy to shuttle everyone in and out all the time.

I don’t know what my plans are before work. Read? Write? Garden? Maybe just sit outside and chill. I’m pretty sure that if I sit outside I will end up atleast picking up branches that have fallen with all this wind. I have gotten some photos to share but before I can I need to delete some of my old ones. That being the case I should wrap this up so I can get it posted in a reasonable amount of time. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Dogs, Emotions, family, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Thinking, Writing

Storms

This morning’s blog will be short. I just don’t care. I Amon little to no sleep because we have had storms all night and Stella has been shaking. About an hour before my alarm was due to go off I finally told her I had to try to get some sleep. She wouldn’t lay beside me. She finally got up and went with Chris in his office. When he came to bed she did too. Suddenly I did not exist for her. She wouldn’t even come by me to get into bed. She hopped right over Chris. So on top of a crap bay yesterday I am hurt. Thank you for reading. Stay safe.

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, Tattoos, Thinking, Writing

It That…. SUN?!

I stayed in bed late. And that is ok. The last dream I had I was a werewolf and I was hunting with Sam and Dean Winchester. I was gooooood! It was nice to be able to take out my anger and aggression. It was one of my favorite dreams.

Stella keeps laying down beside me. She goes and gets a toy then comes back. I know she wants to play and play outside but I need to get this done. I also talked with Dad yesterday so that leaves me free to do whatever today. Whatever is going to be a concentrated effort on my novel. I have not worked on it for various reasons and today needs to be the day. My goal is to spend time in it every day. Another thing I ought to do is make a daily schedule and chart to track myself. I also need to make myself accountable for these goals. That will take some thought but after I get some work done on my novel.

Stella has been very attentive. I am not sure why. I have been pretty good at taking her for a walk every few days or so. It gets us both out onto the property and walking. I might bring my camera today. The problem comes in with her leash. It is shorter so either of us can easily jerk the other one. But one thing I have noticed are good photo opportunities. I also need to get over to my neighbor’s to take some photos before she starts clearing out her trees.

Today I must also brace myself for Chris’ critique of my new tattoo. The swelling has gone down so I will try to get a photo today. I am extremely self-conscious about this because Chris is an artist in his own right. I value his opinion but if it is not the same as mine then I am left second guessing myself.

I have laundry going so that can keep going in the background as I work on my writing. I think I may venture outside to do it. The sun is out (once again the “brief rain shower at 10:37am” did not happen… they need to quit asking me if I want to upgrade to premium; why would I pay for them to be wrong?!) and despite the chill I think it would be a good day to be outside. I must resist the siren call of gardening until after my work on my novel is done. Speaking of which I need to get this posted and get working! Thank you so much for all your support! Thanks for reading and stay safe!