Animals, anxiety, Books, Cooking/Baking, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Food, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Motorcycles, Movies, Music, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Good Times Looking Forward

I am listening as a cement truck goes from around the corner from us to a few houses down. I wonder what everyone is doing on their properties. There is so much that we want to do here! From simple to the complex. We get a little started then it tapers off. I am not sure how to fix that. I had planned to tear into my motorcycle engine (the’92, not the 2014) over the summer and there she sits in the garage. I had planned to plant in my raised beds this year. I got two of them partially weeded but no further. Don’t get me wrong, I have done a lot. All the gardens around the house I have kept up on. I have kept all my plants outside watered (since the hoses are wonky, I am using a small watering can). I have lots of peppers growing. Geez. That is the only thing I can think of that I have really kept up with. Well, there is my blog. How disappointing.

On a happy note, the three of us had a great time yesterday. I brought home two big squirt guns for us to play with. I thought it would be something fun and cooling to get us outside. I was right! We had so much fun chasing each other around the yard! After we did that for a while, we played frisbee. It has been a long time since we did that. Stella even played! She liked trying to snag the frisbee. Problem is she tends to chew it once she gets it. As we played Chris was also grilling/smoking us dinner. It turned out awesome! We watched tv and chatted while we ate. We needed that downtime together.

This morning I woke up ready to enjoy my two days off. I am trying to figure out what to do. I keep leaning toward cleaning up my office. There is stuff all over the floor that needs to be moved. But to where… I also need to find room for a bookcase. Mom is giving me one of hers. It is a good sized one that will alleviate some of the piles in the house. I think I have a spot but that means moving things around a bit.

My body is also letting me know that it is not doing well. There are a few aches and pains (my wrist doesn’t want to heal properly for one) and my chest feels like something rather large is sitting on it. So, I will take things as gently as I can, but I still need to get things done. I have videos I need to watch for work (for my certification) and I need to go over the paperwork for the court case. And of course, work on my novel. It is supposed to be very hot today, so we’ll see what happens. I also have a hankering for jazz today. I miss my stereo on days like today. I would just like to put on some of my cds and let the music fill the house. I guess I will see if I can find anything on Pandora. I prefer my cds because I like the music on them versus someone throwing random music at me that I may or may not like but beggars can’t be choosers.

I see that I have gone on extra-long this morning. Sorry about that. I appreciate you listening to me go on. And thank you for your comments as well. It means a lot. Stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, Exercise, family, Friends, Gardening, Guitar, Learning, Life, Love, Motorcycles, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Riding, Thinking, Writing

Finding a Balance. Finding Me.

Another morning… We have company so I am overly self-conscious about how much noise I am making. I guess it is an excuse to write and read. I don’t really feel like doing either. I slept in since I don’t have to be to work until noon. I feel like I should’ve gotten up at my normal time. But what would it have accomplished? I would still get the same amount done and make the same comment that I should’ve gotten up earlier.

I am struggling to find a balance of some kind. There are things that I want to do/start but don’t. Yoga is a good example. My mind wonders when I am going to squeeze it in on workdays. There is my writing. This is the only consistent writing I am doing right now. My journaling is sporadic, and my novel has stalled out. My gardens… I am doing pretty well on all things considered. But I still have to get those raised gardens done and my rock garden cleaned out. And the backyard mowed. Stella still has no harness and our walks have become fewer and fewer. My motorcycle needs to be ridden. I need to keep pushing with my guitar. There is keeping in contact with friends and family (I suck at it, but I try).

I bust tail at work and do my best to get things done around the house and for us when I am home. It just feels like there is so much! I have thought about a schedule like Mondays I do this and Tuesdays that. But with my schedule I have to fit things in when I have time. So I don’t know what to do.

I also find myself saying that I will do things for others and then drop the ball. I have the best intentions but I either don’t have the time or… don’t have the time it seems. I can’t pare back anymore. Next week is my last week off from the paper. It will be good to be back. If they still want me. We’ll see. I will shoot out an email once I post this. I should wrap this up. No rain is in the forecast so I may put my hammock swing back up. And Stella needs a walk. Even if it is just on our property.

Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Automotive, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Motorcycles, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Once Upon A Stormy Night

Storms last night ensured little to no sleep for me. Stella was panting and shaking when the thunder rolled through. And apparently I am now sensitive enough to storms that I get a migraine from them. As the night wore on last night I was miserable because my head hurt worse and worse. I feel a lot better this morning but the lack of sleep has me in about the same mental state.

This morning the wind is super strong. I think I will drive the car to my meetings. I thought about taking the motorcycle but I don’t want to fight these winds on the first ride of the season. Maybe tonight if the winds die down. I have a meeting at 9am and then another at 6:30pm today. It seemed like a good idea to keep all my meetings despite someone offering to take over the 9am one for me. I don’t know. Lately I have been down to three a month between either me not being able to make it or one being cancelled. Having four has kept me having a back up one for bills. But if it is becoming a burden… I don’t know. I feel like if I give one up then I am less of a writer. I know I’m not but I’m saying that I can’t keep up. And I don’t want that.

I am watching a small sparrow on a branch hold on like it is some kind of carnival ride with this wind. Up, down and all around! I tried to sit out and work on my writing yesterday because it was beautiful out. But it didn’t happen for very long. I kept letting myself get distracted. There is sun and blue sky this morning but that wind will have everything all over and it is a cold wind. Oh but I see a thick wall of clouds coming in from the north. So the weather might become a bit wet later.

My goal today is to come home and get the article written for the meeting and save writing tonight’s meeting to be written up tomorrow morning. I don’t have to be to work until 2pm so that will give me plenty of time. I can try to get some work done on my novel before I have to go to my meeting tonight. If it’s not going to be too long (atleast according to the agenda they send out) I might take Stella and let her hang out in the car for a bit. It would be a new ride for her and get her out of the house.

I need to wrap this up. I just looked at the clock. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Motorcycles, Nature, Photography, retail, Riding, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Dreaming of….

My little Pitty is snuggled up on the love seat behind me. I can hear some birds twittering outside by the bird feeder. It is still grey out. I think Spring wants to come but isn’t sure. This week we are supposed to get around 50F (10C) so I am hoping that a lot of this snow goes. It has been awhile since I felt like this but I could really use a ride on my motorcycle right now. I need to blow the cobwebs out of my head. I need to be in the moment. And I miss my motorcycle.

My plants are already in Spring. My green pepper is getting bigger. I have the stem gently clipped to a stick so it doesn’t break. I am trying to keep an eye on it. My cucumbers…. OMG! They are going crazy! The little blossom I had last night has opened and I swear the rest of the plant has grown visibly. I will share photos of both. I am itching to get into my gardens this year. I do need to see if anyone has a small Roto Tiller that I can borrow. And I think what I will end up doing is surrounding the raised gardens with maybe a foot of chicken wire. I’ll see how that does with keeping critters out. If need be I will make a chicken wire top to pull over to keep everything safe.

Chris has been checking out the online info for our convention. Things are finally coming together. There is more info on the guests and events that will be happening. I plan on taking a little bit of time today to see what is what and make some plans. I am very excited to see what they are putting together! I think it will be an amazing time!

I have also discovered that my body is not fond of being at a register. I had a good day at work and I was very social. I did a lot more physical stuff than normal (hefting a LOT of heavy food stuffs, leaning and stretching, etc). I am hoping that things are just sore but I can feel a bit that is not just sore. So I will try to take things easy today.

This time change has really thrown me off. I was up an hour late (I’m not sure how long my internal clock will take to change over… normally I don’t need to set an alarm but I will be just for safety’s sake). I am shocked to look at the clock on my laptop and find that it is almost 11:30am. Not the 10:30am I expect to see. I feel like I have wasted my morning.

That being said I found a few new blogs to follow and I am making an effort to comment on your posts. I am excited to find new people to read. I think the two that I started following today are all about gardening. They shared some very good ideas that I hope to implement in my gardens once I get things going out there.

I guess I should get going so I can start things around here. I have the day off but I still have a meeting tonight. I may or may not take Stella. If I do I will bring the spare set of keys and lock her in the car while it is running so she stays warm. We’ll see. I may not. Anyway thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Motorcycles, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Riding, Thinking, Travel, Writing

What’s This?! A Day Off?

As busy as I was at work yesterday I managed to get my April Fool’s article written for the paper. I am very proud of it too! One of our local “phenomenon” is the Dogman. The Dogman is essentially a weredog. It has been part of our local legends up here (and Wisconsin as well) for forever. I even put myself and Stella into it! So today’s writing goals are to get that piece put into the laptop and sent, write the article for last night’s meeting written and sent, get this written and also do a guest blog. And of course work on my novel.

Mom and Dad have been going through rough patches the past few days. I have felt guilty because I could not do anything more than messaged them. I am tempted to try to contact them both today but if I do that then I get nothing done that I need to and my day off is completely gone. I also have company coming later this evening so there is a time issue as well. Sunday is Mom’s birthday and I don’t know if she will even want to get together at this point. Dad and I talked via email a bit and he has organized his assisted suicide for when the time comes. (All this dropped yesterday. Mom’s day was going so bad she finally said she wasn’t going to message anymore that night. And she was having a BAD day yesterday.) So I need a bit of a break from that as well. I do get out early tomorrow (I am 6:30am til 2pm manager) so maybe I will plan to talk to each of them then. I will have to talk to Mom regardless to figure out what we are doing Sunday.

Stella has been going from sunny spot to sunny spot this morning. She is ready for Spring. I am too. It is supposed to get to 50F (10C) on Sunday so I am hoping for a lot of snow melt. All of it would be nice but I am trying to be practical. This year I am itching to get my motorcycle out. I didn’t ride last year due to my back problems. I am a bit angry with myself because I haven’t worked on the Pearl at all but honestly it has been too cold out. So once it warms up I will try pulling her apart, getting her cleaned up and running again. It is nice to have two motorcycles so I can still ride while I work on the other.

If I am going to get my guest post done I need to wrap this up. I did get some interesting photos yesterday. I thought someone was walking through our back 40 and I was going to have to go out and say something. It turns out there was someone (several as it turns out). Deer. I took a few photos with my long lens so we’ll see how they turned out. I hope you all have an amazing day! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Food, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Motorcycles, Nature, Photography, retail, Riding, the World, Thinking, Travel, Writing

The Frozen Fly

Last night at work was long. Tonight will be even longer I fear. We keep trying to tell the owner that we don’t need to stay open as late as we do. No one comes in so he is wasting money. But we shall see. He saw things first hand a few weeks ago. Hopefully he doesn’t forget.

Things have gotten dark here since Essie’s passing. That we are in the doldrums of winter here does not help. It’s not like we could take the motorcycles out for the afternoon and just ride. There is nothing to do. Being stuck in the house just brings things in to focus more as to what has been lost. Many of our old haunts in Traverse City are closing. Many places require you to dress now (good luck when tourist season gets here and everyone is in shorts) or are carry out only. Or just too many people.

Depression this time of year is a hard thing to deal with. I know sometimes for me it turns to anger. I can’t just call into work and say, “Hey! Got a case of the blues today so I won’t be in. Oh and I need to use a sick day.” With minimal staff and even more minimal managers it won’t be happening. And I don’t know what to do to help others in the same boat. Especially when I am going through similar experiences at the same time. I have no life preserver to throw because I am holding tight to it myself.

So here I sit putting words on the screen. I don’t know what else to do. Time is passing so quickly. (Even though I complain of work going slow.) It has already been a week since Essie has been gone. Even photography has its limits. It’s the same cold snow day after day. It hasn’t moved. It’s the same naked trees. There are only so many ways to capture the same thing. But I try to put a unique spin on it. Sometimes.

There is a dead fly that has been frozen to the screen. I feel a bit like that fly at the moment. I need to free myself so that I can take care of loved ones as well as work. I guess I should wrap this up and get it posted. Thanks for reading and stay safe.

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Automotive, Books, Creativity, Emotions, family, Learning, Life, Love, Motorcycles, Movies, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Riding, the World, Thinking, Writing

Head Examined

Bah humbug. It has dawned dark and white. What really worries me is that under the white stuff is a very thick layer of ice. Several inches worth. And I was also hoping that it would turn to rain so that Chris could go for a birthday ride on his motorcycle before putting her up for the winter. Instead, it is just cold and blah. Atleast it was beautiful for his party. I am very grateful for that.

I had hoped to get Chris one more gift but with my smaller paycheck this week it won’t be possible. I also need to fill up Angus. Thankfully we are doing 20ยข off a gallon today at work so I think at one point I will drive in and gas up. That should keep me for a few weeks even with trips to Elk Rapids for meetings. I am so grateful to live close to work! Not only don’t I go through near as much gas as I used to but I get gas discounts! (I would get the gas discounts anyway because it is a text message thing not an employee thing but I wouldn’t know what it really was unless I was there on a regular basis.)

I am a bit disappointed in myself. I did nothing yesterday. I didn’t even watch the movies I had lined up for the day. I keep telling myself that it is ok. I needed a day of nothing but still…. I am hoping to get some writing time in today. This was the only writing I did yesterday. I am dragging my feet because I don’t like where the story is going. It makes sense but it is not what I wanted the story to become. But I fear that is where it is going to go. So instead of working on that I have been losing myself in my “cozy” mysteries. Namely the Jacquline Kirby ones by Elizabeth Peters. Kirby has long been a hero of mine. Reading her escapades always makes me feel better, stronger. So I am going through the last in the series. Nevermind that I have a borrowed book as well as research books that I need to be reading. And several review-if-I-want-to books on my Kindle.

I keep hoping that I will…. want to write? No, that’s not what I mean. Hmmm. Find the courage to write? Closer but still not quite it. You see if I don’t write in the morning then I don’t feel that I can. Once the household is up and awake for the day my momentum just stops when it comes to writing. Right now I feel energized and ready to go. I can also get a second wind at night. Usually after dark but if I am involved in family time the I try to hold off. (It is a catch 22. I don’t have a lot of family time so when I do I tend to just focus on that. But I so want to get to my writing.) And once I finish this I will find lots of things to do before I pick up my pen. Usually enough to get me to when Chris wakes up and then I am angry at myself for wasting my own time. Here’s the kicker…. if I actually do sit down and write then when he gets up I am very pleased with myself. So why do I sabotage myself?

I see that I am going to have to step up my bird feeder game. There are so many birds out there after this first ice/snow of the season. I think I will start putting suet out as well. It is hard during the summer months because it tends to melt (even if it is frozen when I put it out). So I try to save it for the colder ones. I think I have two in the freezer right now. I may put them out later.

Ok, I need to wrap this up. I got a bunch of photos as the day progressed yesterday. The dark brooding skies offset the colors in the trees beautifully! I hope you like them! Thanks for reading and commenting! Stay safe!

Aging, anxiety, Creativity, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Motorcycles, Nature, Photography, retail, Riding, Thinking, Writing

A New Month And The Same Me

I never did get back to writing this yesterday. I got called into work early so it was a 10 hour day. And I am feeling it. Having that time off to relax by back etc. was very much needed but now when I jump right back into it…. oof. Be that as it may, today is the first day of OCTOBER! I am super stoked because this means horror movies ALL month!!!! (My husband would argue that this is no different than any other month but that is not the point.๐Ÿ˜ ) It is the one time of the year that all my Halloween decorations seem normal to everyone else. I can also start using my Halloween Countdown Calendar!

The colors are starting to change here. Many trees it is not a gradual change but it is very bright and very fast. The color does stay for a good long while but the change is quick this year. I haven’t really taken many photos of that because it has been a gradual start to the trees changing. Most of them are still green. But you go the next day and there are splashes of red. And that is the other thing… red seems to be the color this year. Normally there is yellow and orange. I will see if I can detect anything around here over the next few days.

As I am writing this I am listening to a sportbike make it’s way down Valley Road. It brings a big smile to my face but a few tears too. I haven’t had my bike out all year. Not once. Nor have I put a wrench to fix up my other one. I feel guilty. I miss riding. I’ve thought about may be riding to work but a. my back is usually ready to give out by the end of my shift and b. living out here in the boonies there is no lighting for most of my drive home. My night vision is slowly deteriorating as I get older so I don’t feel too confident at night. So there I am feeling sorry for myself. Oh and there is a c. That is that there is no good place to park the bike at work. With all the new construction going on and customers parking where we are supposed to there is no place for my motorcycle that I would feel confident leaving it. Call me over protective but we have had motorcycles backed over before in broad daylight. It makes me angry just remembering it.

I don’t know if anyone remembers me saying that I had planted some chamomile seeds in a little Halloween jar a little bit ago. But I did and I have my first sprout! I am so excited!!! This is chamomile from the UK. It was a gift from my penpal there. I did a few seeds in the jar and am saving the rest for the Spring gardens. Times like this I wish she and I communicated online so I could send her a photo but that defeats the purpose of having a penpal. And my printer is just black ink so I can’t send her a photo that way. Although if I do it right it could be a pretty cool black and white shot. An idea I will play with.

I see that I have gone on for a bit. I should wrap this up and get it posted. Sorry for missing everyone yesterday. I did try to read twice as many of your posts to catch up. It worked…. mostly. Lol. Anyway thanks for reading and stay safe! Oh and HAPPY OCTOBER!!!!!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Learning, Life, Love, Motorcycles, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Feeling the Fall

It looks like we have been getting rain from the hurricane weather along the east coast. We need the rain. For whatever reason it seems to freak out Stella when it rains. I have no idea why. I noticed that the bathroom door had been shoved open when I got up this morning. That means Stella got scared and went in there to hide.

I don’t know how work will be tonight. It was slow but we had a call in so that made things a bit sketchy. We actually had two call ins. The night manager and the closing carry out. But we managed. I hope all goes smoothly tonight. I have a good crew so….

I just want to sleep today. I know part of that is because I’m not getting any tonight. I am closing manager tonight and opening manager tomorrow. Which means if I get home around 10:15pm and get to bed 11pm (ha ha) then get up at say 5am so I can get this done before work then I get six hours of sleep. I don’t know if that will be enough time but I will try. I have to remember that I need to get to work early to get everything opened before we do. Especially since I seem to be manager and gas tomorrow. That is not going to be fun.

With everything going on I’ve not been able to get many new photos to share. I have been culling through what I have and trying to share ones I haven’t yet. I did try to get a few this morning in the rain. I’ll see if any turned out. Sorry this is so blah. I can’t seem to wake up. I did treat myself to some goodies from the Dollar General. I also decided to send them to a friend who is recovering from a bad motorcycle accident. So I will slide into work early again so that I can get one or two replacements for myself. I know they will make her smile. I hope to send the care package out soon. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Guitar, Learning, Life, Love, Motorcycles, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Riding, the World, Thinking, Writing

A Shaker Full of Everything

This morning is darkening with the impending rain. We had bits of sun here and there when we got up. Now a darkness falls upon the land. The earthy richness of the blueberry coffee I got for the Keurig is a very welcome flavor and warmth this morning. It’s not cold this morning but since we sleep with the AC on it takes me awhile to warm up in the morning.

Today is a manager day so that means I probably won’t get out until 10-10:30pm. Which would be ok but I am back at 9am tomorrow. But that means the girls and I can play more tomorrow.

I am contemplating doing a book review once a week. The one I posted last night seemed to go over really well. If I do it it will be the same thing as yesterday. I would have it as well as a regular post. Let me know what you folks think. Also let me know what genres you would be interested in. I have a wide selection here at the house so it shouldn’t be hard to do requests. Maybe call it the Wednesday Review (unless someone has a clever name they would like to suggest). Nothing concrete just getting a feel for things.

This morning I feel like my body is betraying me. I could barely get out of bed and it has been hard to move. Everything is stiff and painful. But I need to make the best of it. The girls are very understanding and don’t snatch their toys as often when I go to take them. And when we play tug-of-war they don’t pull near as hard as they could.

I did about 20 minutes on my novel last night before bed. I worked on my main character. So if I can keep that up I will be happy. My goal is 30 minutes to an hour a day on my novel. With my schedule (especially next month) all over the place I want to do small time frames so I will actually do it.

I was going to try to take my motorcycle out the other day and I couldn’t stand and keep the bike balanced, even as light as it is. So I just left it plugged in the charger. It is very frustrating. I haven’t ridden once this year. Many of you are going to ask why don’t I just sell the bike. Because I am determined to still ride.

Ok, I see that I have gone on a bit more than normal. We lost a great bassist yesterday and my mind is still processing that. We got to see the band with my Mom in concert a few years ago. It was a great time! Dusty Hill of ZZ Top will always be remembered.โค And with that dear friends I will wrap this up. Stay safe and as always thanks for reading!