Emotions, Friends, Learning, Life, Love, Thinking

Open the Door or Keep It Locked?

This morning I awakened to a dilemma. I received a friend request from a friend… well an ex friend I guess. We were really close for a few years (too close sometimes) and we had a big falling out. Blocked phone numbers and the whole deal. It hurt because I really did care about the person but the drama that started! That was what finally got to me. Funnily enough I was not the one that ended the friendship. He was. And while I missed him I did not miss the drama. I think about him and hope he is doing well. This morning I look at my phone and there is a friend request from him. After a few years he wants to be part of my life again. SO the big question is do I let him back in? I don’t know what to expect. If I thought he had matured some and wasn’t going to blow my phone up at all hours I might consider it. But I just don’t know. And truthfully I have been content not to have the drama.

I guess looking at it the answer should be pretty straight forward. There seem to be more negative possibilities than positive. But he was a good friend and I do miss him. So. I worry that I will create unwanted drama if I let him back in. Things for the most part are going pretty damn well. I am getting my head in a good place and I am content with how things are. Isn’t that when things like this happen? When you get too comfortable then something pops into your life to “spice” it up? I don’t want… I don’t want to do the same thing over again.

When I went to bed I had planned on telling you about my peridot pendant I got for myself and the new book but that kind of fell by the wayside. Ok. I did it. Fingers crossed.

Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, Cooking/Baking, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Food, Friends, Holiday, Life, Love, Nature, Thinking, Writing

Being Thankful

Today is Thanksgiving here in the U.S. That got me thinking last night as I was falling asleep, remember what you are thankful for. I always try to find atleast one thing to be thankful for when I go to sleep at night. Some days there are a lot so I have to pick and choose. Some days I struggle to find one thing (it is usually that I got home safe to my family or that I have my family to come home to). Last night I had a cornucopia of choices. We were as busy as we’d been during the summer rush with the tourists. I was all over the store helping customers. The first part of my shift I was at the courtesy counter paired with one of my fave coworkers. We were singing and dancing and laughing a lot. The second half of my shift things really picked up and I was having fun with everyone. Despite being busy I still had energy so I came home and took care of the kids, cleaned the mouse cage, washed dishes, cleaned the rugs in the kitchen, swept and cleaned the floors in the kitchen as well as vacuumed. I also managed to get myself two articles to write (one is due today and the other Saturday). Trash also got taken out. Mind you I did strain my back by the end of the night and it was after midnight before we went to bed (my poor patient puppies) but so much got done that I don’t have anything that needs to be done around the house except making the pies (I am making an apple pie and pumpkin pie… the apple is from scratch including the crust but the pumpkin is out of a can since I didn’t get any pumpkins for Halloween this year but the crust will be from scratch) and stuffing for the turkey. So I can work on my articles and talk to family via whatever medium (Chris’s family will be either Skype or Discord, Dad ill be Facetime and Mom will be just talking on the phone). I guess the point of this long paragraph is that I have a lot to be grateful for.

I have an amazing family and equally amazing friends. I have probably one of the best jobs/workplaces ever. I was able to replace my car and get something that I never would’ve been able to without the Jeep having issues (I set aside a chunk of money to go toward the engine repair and that ended up going towards a down payment). I have three awesome dogs and have been blessed over the years to be Mom to so many pets. I am able to use my writing skills to earn enough money to pay bills (not just fun money). I have the best husband I could ask for. I wouldn’t have half of what I do or be the person I am without him. He has taught me so much over our life together and been there for me through so much.

I also have all of you reading this. I am very grateful for all of you because you read my work and share your thoughts and suggestions not just on my writing but on my life as well. I am blessed to have all of you! Thanks for reading! I hope you have a great day and stay safe!

Animals, Dogs, Emotions, family, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Thinking

Photos and Puppies

I am off to a slow start this morning but I am not gonna push it. It is my day off and I will get as much done as I can. It was so nice to come home at 6pm yesterday! The pups and I played around the yard for a bit. Moose is getting better about taking him medicine. I was smart and wrote down things that I needed to get done today. I will work on things as the day goes on. I may try to Facetime with Dad this afternoon. It will depend on what I get done before then.

I am happy to say I have some more Fall photos for everyone. I know that is something a lot of my readers don’t have in their countries. It is amazing to think that Mother Nature does this whole color change every year. And the colors! I try to get photos when the sun is shining bright because it makes the colors that more spectacular.

I have Moose and Stella behind me on the loveseat. Moose has been getting jealous of the girls because they will be with me on the loveseat and he will be stuck on the couch by himself. So this morning while the girls were outside he settled himself on the loveseat. Stella was a bit put out but I pointed out that there was room for both of them so up she hopped. She feels that she hasn’t been getting enough attention. Sigh….

Good grief! I just turned around to scratch the dogs and I am met with Stella sprawled on her back with her back end facing me and her top half in some weird contortion so she doesn’t fall off. Moose is looking at me like she is taking up too much room and I need to fix it. My crazy babies… And Essie snores away in the man cave.

Ok, I am going to add some photos and post this. Then I need to finish up my short story for class and submit that before I go get my hair cut. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Thinking, Writing

Season Changes

I am trying to look past the lack of sleep and anxiety. I am trying to keep a level head about things. But the combination of all of it is kicking my butt. The closer we get to Moose’s appointment the more irritable I get. I also have a stress headache.

Be that as it may I got some good photos yesterday of the color changes around here. If I can manage it I will leave early for work and take my camera. The road to work it just a riot of color. Our little valley here seems to always stay greener longer (for which I am grateful). I can see the trees change daily. The colors seem to be changing fast now that they have started. That usually means a very cold winter. Regardless I will share some of the photos I took. I really do need to sit down more with the book I got to go with the camera. I tried to go through it from first page to last but I found myself impatient because I had discovered a lot on my own. I want the nitty gritty as it were. But I don’t know the proper terms to be able to ask the right questions so I am going to try again.

I did start watching some videos for class the other day. I have to say that all the classes so far have been very good. I am looking forward to seeing what the capstone class will be about. It has a very vague explanation of a class that you work one one piece of writing.

I am trying to write this and upload some photos. The camera battery is low so I’m not sure how many I will be able to get. I only chose five (yes just the five…. sorry movie quote reference lol) to try to share some of what I took but the battery light keeps flashing ominously at me. But I might just make it.

I might have time to start another video for class (yay! I got all five before the battery died!) before we head out for the vet appointment. So I will post this and see what I can learn. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Emotions, Learning, Life, Love, Motorcycles, Photography, Riding, Thinking

And A Riding I Will Go

The goal today is to ride the motorcycle to work. Yep. And I don’t pick a nice day to do it (then I beat myself up if I don’t do it). No, I pick a cold day with frost in the morning. To ease the guilt if I back out? Maybe. Regardless I got all my gear etc laid out and ready last night so I don’t have to do anything but go today. As simple as just taking another vehicle. Atleast on the surface.

I have only allowed myself glimpses into the emotional box that I pulled out from under the bed by deciding to do this. If I pull the cover off and look inside I would never take the bike. So I peek beneath every once in a while to see if anything has changed, to see if I can control anything that is in the box. I allow myself little tastes of feeling in regards to the upcoming ride. I let myself feel a bit of excitement, but not too much because that can quickly turn to anxiety. I let myself think about where I will park once I get to work but not too much because then concerns over other things happening (or not happening) will take over. I do this for a little while then I shut the lid and make myself think about something else. I try not to wonder if it is a good idea or not. I try not to talk myself into it or out of it. I turn to just let it be.

The sun is out so that is a good sign. I checked all my gear so I will have music because my helmet Bluetooth is charged and paired with my phone. I am choosing to wear chaps instead of my full blown riding pants. Since I am only going a short distance I should be ok. If I was riding to Traverse I would put on the pants. I am not hooking up the heated gear again because of the short distance. I do have all the jacket liners zipped in and my purple Ride Like A Girl Racing hoodie to wear.

Another bonus of riding in is that I can’t buy anything. Last night I brought home four plastic trick or treat buckets that I am going to use as planters. I also brought home a mum plant to go in one of them.

The Jeep can’t go in for atleast another week due to unforeseen circumstances with our mechanic. So atleast I have a date of sorts. And if I am riding the bike now it will be less of a shock when I have to ride in colder weather. I am grateful I don’t have to ride all the way into Traverse anymore.

I think I will wrap this up for now. I’ll add a few photos I took yesterday around the yard. Probably the last nice day this week but we’ll see. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, History, Life, Love, Photography, Reading, the World, Thinking, Writing

A Day For Me

The sun is out in earnest this morning. And it will have a time of it warming things up. It was almost cold enough for frost this morning. That being said it is supposed to warm up quite a bit for the next few days so I may uncover the plants in the memorial garden and pull out the ones I brought in. I am hoping the nights stay as warm as they say or warmer. I don’t want to bring them all in and out everyday.

Today is 9/11. It feels like a somber day for those of us that were alive when the 9/11 bombings happened here in the U.S. It seems as though we have gone from outside enemies to inside enemies since then. With no end in sight. I had to unfollow a fellow blogger this morning because of the posts they were writing. They were getting angrier and angrier. Anyone that did not do and think as that person did would incur the wrath of God because that person was right. I don’t need to see that on my feed. That type of thinking is part of the problem. It certainly is NOT part of the solution.

It feels weird not watching the clock to see how much time I have before I need to get ready to go. A good weird. I got a bunch of stuff done last night after I got home so that will be less I have to do today. I do need to see if I can get the mower going today. If not I may ask for help from our neighbors across the street.

I feel like I want to work on my writing today. I got inspired by a documentary on Amazon last night about the controversial Scary Stories to Tell In the Dark. I had all three books as well as the on based on the movie (thanks Mom!). I really love the art and the content. For those who have never read the books they are a collection of scary stories and folktales from all over. This type of book is what got my love for horror started. Just sitting around telling stories to each other in the dark (or with just a flashlight). I still have my first collection that I convinced my parents to buy me (they were still married so I had to be in the single digits with my age). It was at the local bookstore in Ferndale, Michigan called “Paperback Books Unlimited.” This place was a staple of my childhood. I snuck a peek at my first Fangoria Magazine there as well. My parents tried to take me there as often as they could. I just dug the book out of my shelves. It was printed in 1973 so I had to be around 5 or 6 years old. Some Things Strange and Sinister edited by Joan Kahn is the book.

I have always loved short stories because they are small bites that you can snack on if you aren’t in the mood for a full novel (or don’t have the time). It has been a long time since I last wrote a short story. The last one I sent out into the world was college and was a runner up in a contest. They were only going to print the winners but they liked mine so much they made and exception. I still have the copy of the magazine. I have a few done that I need to polish and get out there. But, again, I need to get myself a copy of WordPerfect. Everything is digital now. Very few places will accept hard copy sent through the mail. So I need a reliable program that I can edit and send my work on. That may be something I save up for. I need to make sure bills get paid and Moose has a vet appointment coming up.

Ok, I see that I have talked quite a bit. I will wrap this up and share a few photos. I hope you have a great day! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, Dogs, family, Friends, Gardening, Life, Love, Photography, Thinking

Living Now But Remembering the Past

This morning has dawned cool and wet.  My back is telling me I did too much yesterday.  Which concerns me as it hurts because of the amount of time I spent standing.  This does not bode well for future employment.  I had this problem become very bad towards the end at Younkers.  That being said I did get a lot done.  I even uncovered our games from many years of dust.

Our games have not seen much use.  I am the one who will pull out  a deck of cards occasionally.  But I have been using my Minion cards that I received from a friend.  We also have Go, Chinese checkers, multiple chess boards, Scrabble, Cooking Scrabble, dominoes, Mancala… as well as a bunch that are not stashed beneath the table like Clue, UNO and some puzzles.  I remember when we were constantly entertaining and the games would be in constant use.  Now the kids have all grown up and friends have moved on.  Family too.  Mom and I don’t get together hardly ever anymore.  Dad and I haven’t talked in a few weeks because his internet service in Canada has suddenly decided to change his service to another company and charge him more if he uses anything (phone, computer or streaming services) til then.  I don’t understand how they can do that but this is the information Dad sent in an email to all of us.  Nothing til the middle of this month.  Which worries me because Dad will be completely cut off.

On a more positive note I did get all my classwork done and turned in.  I might start my next one this afternoon.  I would start it this morning but the kids are getting restless.  I may end up moving the laptop back into the living room on the mornings again.  We’ll see.  Essie did not eat this morning.  She has gone in and out of the office a few times.  I need to sit down and make one of my numerous lists as to what need to be done (money, job, etc).

I found another tomato on the plant yesterday.  It is small to be sure but it is there and growing.  I watered everyone yesterday because it has been dry but this rain should help move things along.  I need to replenish the dirt in the memorial garden as well (see what I mean about making lists?).  The dirt is settling as it dries so more needs to be added to keep the roots covered and add more nutrients.

We had a beautiful sunset on Saturday and I managed to get some gorgeous photos.  I will share a few.  Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Life, Love, Thinking

Essie Musings

I had hoped to have this done earlier but either the laptop or the internet has been giving me issues.  I dropped Essie off at the vet this morning.  It took me almost five minutes to get her out of the car.  Then when we got in the vestibule she just buried her face in me and shook.  Yeah, I feel like crap right now.  They are going to call me once she is out of surgery to let me know how it went and that she is ok.  I can pick her up around 4:30pm.

Stella has been very sweet and gentle since I got home.  I am both surprised and grateful.  Moose is just Moose.  He seems a little concerned that Essie is not with me but happier that I am home.  I made myself a to do list that will keep me busy once Chris gets up.

We had a friend stop over unannounced yesterday around noon.  It was good to see him even if his timing was off (I was getting into the shower when he pulled up).  He stayed until around 3-3:30pm so about 3 hours.

I decided to tap my 401K for my car repairs and such.  Not ideal but that will give us some breathing room.  I need to stay home this first week because of Essie’s surgery.  Since it is being considered a major surgery (which scares me because all they said about the size of the tumor was “massive” and if I am correct I think that is a good bit of her belly, she is too active to look as fat as she does so I think that once that is removed that is going to make a big difference to how she looks) I need to monitor her closely the first week.  I have a meeting that I actually have to attend Thursday night and a funeral on Friday.  Friday Chris should be up so he can keep an eye on her.

I’m going to stop here.  I need to get on the phone and then get things going around the house.  Thanks for reading and thank you so much for all the kind words and love!  Stay safe!

Animals, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Learning, Life, Love, Thinking, Writing

Finding the Motivation

The rain has gone away.  Yesterday was a much welcome cloudy with rain off and on all day.  It did cool things off a bit.  Back down to normal summer heat for a day.  The temperatures will be right back up there today.  And I am ok with that.

I seem to have run into a mental dry spell over the last few days.  No writing other than this and my journal.  I’ve been lugging one of my guitars around with the appropriate paperwork to practice playing but I’ve done nothing past tuning the guitar.  I have read a bit in the new book.  I seem to not only lost my drive but my focus as well.  I was moving forward with great strides and now… inertia.

Moose definitely has kidney disease so I ordered more kibble yesterday.  I got the lamb since he doesn’t seem too fond of the chicken flavor.  We’ll see how he does.  Essie didn’t eat this morning.  She started getting me up around 6am to go outside in a hurry.  I left the door open for her.  She had to go back out maybe an hour later.  Then once we got up for the day She went directly outside.  Moose wouldn’t eat either.  I wonder if it is because Essie wouldn’t.  He’s in here with me and I can hear his tummy doing hungry rumbles.  I worry that Essie’s cancer is more severe than we think.  They said they got it all out with the lump but I’m not so sure.  And her surgery scar isn’t healing correctly.  Part of it keeps getting opened back up.  Now that Moose has been taken care of I need to call and ask them about her.  That will have to wait until Monday.  Monday I am also dropping the Jeep off for Chuck to look at.  Soooo….

I feel so busy but I know I have plenty of free time if  I choose to use it.  I just need to not do other things, like watch tv.  Moose is dreaming.  It sounds like it is on the border of becoming a nightmare with the sounds he is making.  I am keeping the house up as well as the gardens this year (so much easier and rewarding being able to stay home).  But will I let myself blow off writing?  That is part of the reason I opted to pay for the course instead of taking the free version.  The other part is that I can get feedback from other writers.  If you take the free course you are limited as to what you can do.  If I pay for it and don’t do anything then I am wasting money.  If I take the free version I can blow it off because it “doesn’t count” for anything.  That’s what I did with the guitar class.  So I need to find my way.

On that note I need to get something written before Chris gets up for the day.  He wants to do some running together.  I would rather stay home but it is time together.  Thanks for reading!  Stay safe!

Creativity, dreams, Emotions, family, Guitar, Learning, Life, Love, Thinking, Writing

Guess Who’s Taking Classes…

Today’s big news is that I signed up for an online class.  Actually classes.  It’s a creative writing collection of courses through Coursera.  I am paying for them so I will get a certification at the end.  Chris didn’t seem too enthused when I told him.  He thought I would go for a photography class.  I don’t think he sees the use in me taking this course since I already know how to write stories.  His second guess when I said I was taking writing classes was journalism.  He knows I can earn money doing that so that would be normal to guess.  But creative writing seems like a waste to him.  Mind you he’s said none of this.  This is all what I am reading into his response.  I didn’t mention that I was paying for the courses.  (You can take all the courses on there for free but you won’t get certified and you might not be able to access everything available in the course.)

I am taking the classes because I am hoping that talking with other creative writers I can get more consistent with my writing.  And I am stuck in my novel so I am hoping that I can use that over the course exercises and get that back on track.  I already have ideas after the first class.  It started yesterday.  I have done everything but write the 250-350 word story and critique others.  I cranked out a rough draft last night before bed (one of the reasons I didn’t get to bed until almost 1am) and I hope to tweak it today and get it submitted.  The twist for it is that they have listed 12 random words and you need to use atleast 6 of them in every other sentence to create movement.  I got a bug after watched a bunch of diverse short documentaries last night.

So that is where I am right now.  This morning I feel a bit run down.  I felt like this last night so not sure if it is merely the continual heat or just me coming down with something.  I think I will wrap this up and go read or work on some writing.  Oh and they are letting me finish the guitar class if I want to (I was almost done before I stopped… maybe one or two hours of work left I think) so I guess I’d better tune the guitars back up and get at it.

Thanks so much for reading and thank you for your thoughtful comments!  Stay safe and have a great day!