Animals, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Holiday, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Writing

The Mother’s Day Mix

Here in the U.S. it is Mother’s Day. While Mother’s do deserve the praise and a day I am just not feeling it. For myself mind you… I sent a text to Mom and I got a lovely text from my Mother-in-law that I responded to in kind. No this is my first Mother’s Day without Moose. Yes I have the girls and I love them dearly but I had a special connection with Moosie. I have to work today so I guess it will be another work day for me.

I did survive last night. Quite well as it turned out. We had customers late and I had to turn away several people after we closed. Everyone was nice but peeved. It didn’t help that we were short staffed. But all turned out well. I even made great strides in mastering the paperwork. Which is a good thing since I will be completely on my own next week. So I am pretty proud of that.

The sun is out for the second day in a row. It is a nice change from the dark, rain and cold. I am hoping tomorrow will be more of the same. It is chilly if you are not in the sun but I am usually in the sun so…. Tomorrow at this time I should be home from physical therapy. I have a meeting tomorrow night then another Tuesday morning. My days off are tomorrow then Saturday so I can spend some time with Chris.

I am contemplating how to spend my little bit of time before work today. There is a list of things I should do (like clean out the photos in my cache here, on my phone and on the camera) as well as things I could do (which includes reading, working on my novel, writing my penpal, working in the yard (not a good idea with my back but…)). But I’m not sure what I will do though. Both girls are outside. I think outside is a good place to start. Even if I am just sitting.

Sorry this is short and kind of all over the place. I am trying not to think too much about Moose. But everything seems to pull me back to him today. I will add a few photos from the past few days. I hope you all have a great day and to those who are celebrating have an awesome Mother’s Day! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, Thinking, Writing

Looking Within… A Little Too Deep

Stella is curled up behind me on the love seat. She has been my shadow since yesterday. Essie has curled up in the man cave. I shut the door to the bedroom while the girls were eating so Chris could get some sleep without them getting up and down from the bed. I don’t know what Stella’s issue was last night but she was in and out of bed til around 2:30am. She would get up and pace and then need to go outside every little while. I didn’t get much sleep. My back has found new and interesting ways to hurt as well.

I am trying not to think about work today. Me being anxious isn’t going to help anything. But I can feel the panic and anxiety building behind the wall I put up around it. I can also feel the little naysayers in my head starting to wake up too. On the plus side I have tomorrow off. I will have Matt there with me tonight working so if I have any problems or questions I will be ok. In theory. I still don’t know if I will walk into having keys and codes this afternoon or not. I ended up leaving a note to remind the store manager.

Yesterday was not a flop but it feels like it. I had such grand plans in my head but I didn’t get near the amount of things done that I had hoped. The flip side of that is I was able to relax for a few hours. Which is really what I needed. I was able to breath and I played with the dogs enough that they would nap for extended periods. I did get some research done on my novel but I didn’t get the amount of work done on my novel that I wanted to. I did get some photos taken but I didn’t do anything with all the photos I already have. I talked with Mom because I was worried about her. She usually sends me updates on how the house clean out is going. She’s been doing pretty good with it. But I hadn’t heard anything in a while so I decided to call and check on her (even though I said I wasn’t going to call anyone). She was out and about so she called when she got home. Three hours later we hung up. I’m glad I called because she obviously needed to talk to someone. Then there is always the “but” in my head. It’s not like I would’ve done great things with my time if I wasn’t on the phone with her but my head always says “what if” and then goes from there. I was going through my Supernatural dvds and watching my favorite episodes when she called. Hardly earth shattering. Odds are I would’ve squeezed in a few more episodes before bed and that was it.

This morning I got a text from Dad and he’d not doing too good. He is getting more frustrated and scared with his condition. He can’t articulate the way he’s feeling physically or mentally. He is scared that early Alzheimer’s is setting in. I’ll tell you what freaks me out is that both my parents are going through the same thing. Mind you they are divorced and Mom wants nothing to do with Dad so I don’t really share any updates or anything. Neither really knows what the other is going through. But they do because they complain to me of the same things. Forgetting words or ideas mid-conversation, unable to focus especially for extended periods, unable to complete tasks because they forgot what they were doing or how to complete said task…. Some times it would be easy to forget which one I was talking to once they start voicing their concerns. It is scary.

I guess that is why yesterday feels so much like a failure. I had to face mortality and see that it didn’t matter what I did or said or wrote there was nothing I could do to stop it.

Well this isn’t where I had intended to go with the post this morning. I guess I had better wrap this up and either work on my novel or write to my pen pal. Which reminds me I need to get post card stamps on the way to work. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Holiday, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Treating Myself

It has been a busy morning after a rather sleepless night. Last night was filled with late night Stella barkings and early morning storms so I didn’t get much sleep. We had rumbles of thunder all afternoon and early evening yesterday. But it really hit last night in the wee hours. With Moose gone both girls pant and shake during a storm.

I woke to find several messages (that I still need to reply to) from friends and I have written the article for last night’s meeting and sent it in. The skies are grey and the weather is cool. I am glad that I filled the bird feeder yesterday. It has been busy this morning with a multitude of feathered friends!

We went to Moose and Stella’s for lunch. I had a Moose burger that was called the Bad Boy. Yes I cried (several times) and the burger was delicious.

Yesterday was actually pretty fun. I did get all my running done (except for going to Bath and Body Works, I caved and ordered online after I came home) and arrived at lunch on time. My friend was in bad shape worried that her cancer may have come back. She had two doctors appointments that afternoon. But we sat and talked for a long time over lunch (I was concerned because she hardly ate anything despite being hungry). As we were getting ready to leave she asked if I wanted to go to a resale shop. Well yaaaa! Lol. So off we go! A pile of books and a trinket box later we part ways with the promise to make this a regular thing. We are heading to a used bookstore in Interlochen for our next adventure.

The trinket box is in the right top corner

I got a lot accomplished once I got home too. I got things ordered that I needed or wanted to as well as finally getting the printer hooked up to the new laptop. That last part took some doing. I had two plugs that were supposed to go into the laptop but I did not have the right sized port for on of them. I was pretty sure that I could do the wi-fi thing with it and not have to plug it in to the laptop but Mom didn’t give me any paperwork so I had to wing it via menus and my install wizard on the laptop. But it works! And I think that Chris can use it from his office as well. We haven’t tested that yet.

I also treated myself to several things. I got a pair of very fun shoes (I usually don’t do much in the way of clothing or shoes I just wear the same stuff til it wears out) that are really comfortable. I’ll wear them to work today (my first day as a manager on the floor). I also ordered some research books for the novel and a bikini. Now that last item might not seem like a big deal. I live in my bikinis during the warmer months. A few years ago I found a place that makes bikinis that fit everyone, not just the tiny models. It is called Fused. I have wanted to try one for a long time. I belong to their group online and it is a very warm and supportive community of women. This is my dream bikini. I hope. I opted for a surprise bottom piece. But I am very excited! I also treated myself to my coconut scented lotions from Bath and Body Works. When I worked at Younker’s one of their stores was just outside our front door so I could get them when I ran out. Sadly I have been out for probably a year or longer. But I couldn’t justify spending the money on myself. So I splurged on myself yesterday.

I will share pictures of everything as it comes in. I should wrap this up before it gets much longer. I hope you all have an awesome day! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, Automotive, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Food, Gardening, Holiday, Life, Love, Motorcycles, Nature, Photography, Riding, Thinking, Writing

Travels Great and Small

It looks as though we will have another beautiful day.❤️ We want to grill today so I need to slide to the store before 1pm. I feel kinda bad because it is Easter but there it is. I am leaning toward taking the motorcycle (pardon the pun) but it will depend on the temperature (the frost still hasn’t melted) and my body. Right now it hurts. I might take Angus (my Subaru) for groceries then take Rogue (my motorcycle) out got a ride later today. We’ll see.

Maybe I need to wear my helmet cover 🧐

I want to spend time on my writing as well today. Even if a few pages are all I do. I started fleshing out some of my characters the other day. I still don’t see them clearly in my mind’s eye so I know more work needs to be done.

The Robins have been here and singing since we got up. Spring is definitely here! I wore shorts to work yesterday and several people commented. I compared myself to a Robin saying that if you saw me in shorts you know Spring is here. That brought many smiles. 😁

I miss loading up the dogs in the car to go for a ride.

My boys❤️🐾

I am trying to be positive… I am debating about doing some yard work today. I don’t want to do too much uncovering if we are still getting frost at night. I found a bud yesterday and the daffodils, tulips, irises and day lilies are growing up fast! I am very excited! Since my irises seem to bloom every other year this year should be the big bloom. I have a smaller batch that blooms when they don’t. No idea how I managed to do it. Lol. I think I will work with my roses this year too. So I need to dig out the book Mom got me.

Looking at the clock I guess I need to get crackin’ if I want to get to the store and get things done around here. I just want to thank everyone for the awesome support!❤️ Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Thinking, Writing

Balance

It is hard to find a balance between everything. Work (even with two jobs) takes up much less of my life than before so that gives me more free time. Well free time might not be the best choice of words. Lol. There seems to be so much to do. So much I want to do. And with warmer weather coming upon us my list grows.

Ok so the “have to dos” include keeping up the house (dishes, laundry, vacuuming etc), taking care of the zoo (this includes care and cleaning of the mice, turtle and snake), watering and care of my plants… is that it? Let’s say it is for now. So now for the “want to dos”. That list is longer and includes my blog, letter writing, reading, riding, gardening, writing in general and working on my novels specifically, learning (this can be through a class or book or experience ex. working on getting the Pearl back on the road)… outside of either of these are spending time with family and friends as well as dealing with all the medical stuff going on.

I know I am over simplifying things (I could include sleep since I seem to be missing it a lot and food since I really enjoy cooking and eating good food) but you get the idea. I hate the idea of writing out a rigid schedule for it all. I like the spontaneous stuff. You know, hey! Let’s go to the book store or hey! Let’s go for a walk around the nature preserve. That kind of thing.

I do have my daily and weekly schedules for things. But can you plan on when you will cuddle with your loved ones? I suppose so but it just feels unnatural. And if you’re not in the mood or can’t? I’m thinking along the lines of riding and writing (yes it can apply to other things but this is what comes promptly to my mind). And I haven’t put in my photography under any of this. I think that’s because it is spontaneous and just fits in wherever.

As I get older I find myself more conscious of squeezing all that I can in my life. (Mind you I did the same when I was younger but I just wasn’t conscious of it. That’s why my life has been so full just do, do, do.) The flip side of all this is finding down time and me time. I know I squander a lot away watching tv (in my defense I do play a lot with the girls and have been known to exercise during a binge marathon and this has been some us time for Chris and I). Part of me wants to slow down and relax for a bit and the other part gets bored and wants to do things.

Something to think about I guess. Oooo I have rambled on a bit today! But I think that’s ok. It’s a first step. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, Friends, Life, Love, Motorcycles, Nature, Photography, Riding, Thinking, Writing

Morning Quickie

It is waaaaay too early. Essie did not eat breakfast but Stella did. I’m not sure if it is because it is so early or because she doesn’t feel good. But I keep telling myself that I get out at 2pm. I also have tomorrow off but I have a morning meeting which I am ok with. It get s me out of the house for a bit. I’m glad I don’t have to try to cram in an article before work. The goal is to get both articles written after I get back from the meeting. Normally I would do an article before I went but with being up this early today and again on Wednesday I want to “sleep in” where I can. I’m grateful that I can do both jobs really. The extra money is nice and the experiences from both are awesome.

We had an unexpected guest yesterday. An old friend asked to stop by and spend some time. Sadly I was only able to spend a few hours with him but it was good to do even that.

I keep clock watching. I’m not getting up any earlier but it seems like I am cramming. I’m not. I have enough time but my brain is telling me otherwise.

I didn’t take many photos yesterday. But I will share what I have. I want/should take my cameras and go along the various shorelines and take some walks through the multitude of woods around here. I especially like how the water has frozen along the bay as it has crested alone the shoreline. That being said it is supposed to be very warm the next few days. And if we get the rain tomorrow as well then there won’t be much snow left (yay!!!!). I’m glad we have the garage so we can have the motorcycles handy for breaks in the weather like this.

Ok, I’m gonna add some photos and get this out there. Thanks for reading and for the support! You are all amazing! Stay safe!

Emotions, Life, Love, Thinking

Broken?

This morning I have no words. I have no pictures. All I have is a bruised and battered heart.

As a writer I should be able to explain things…. how I feel, why I feel that way, what I think etc. But I can’t. Isn’t that ironic?

Essie knows something is wrong. She keeps pacing through the living room. I’m going to join her. Thanks for reading. Stay safe.

Animals, Books, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Learning, Life, Love, Photography, Reading, retail, Thinking, Writing

Being an Example

I have been doing so much this week that I have just set myself an alarm to make sure that I am not late for work. Essie is upset with me too. I just stepped out of my office to do something and she came running up to get love and play. Then she kind of looked at me. I told her I still had to do this and write my article. She looked at me one more time then went back to the couch and laid down. I was two hours late coming home last night because someone called in. I figured it was easier for me to stay than for them to find someone to work a few hours. Don’t laugh but I had Chris tell the girls that I would be home late. I know they can read the clocks and know what time to look for me.

Now I don’t know which way is up. I have another long day today which is going to be longer now that I see work has done a 10% off your grocery order today. We will probably be busy. But I have tomorrow off. And tomorrow I HAVE to write the book review and article for my online editor. I blew it off Wednesday to talk to Dad. Too many writing projects due at once. If I can get them written early then I can use the rest of the day to play with the girls and spend time with Chris.

I don’t have any meetings next week but (depending on how I am scheduled) I will be working straight through til next weekend. Wednesday is our anniversary (30 years if you can believe it!) but we are going to celebrate next weekend. The schedule will be out either today or tomorrow. I also need to spend some time on my classes. The frustrating thing is that the problems I am having with my photography will be addressed in my classwork. The same for my writing (oh and I do need to make more of an effort for my novel, it thinks that I don’t love it anymore). Sigh.

Next week should be easier even if I am working. I can pace myself to get writing done in the morning and late at night before bed. Classwork I can do after work when I work mornings. I just need to stay focused. On that note I do need to write the article for the paper and get that sent in. Thanks for reading and stay safe! And thank you for all the wonderful comments!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Emotions, family, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Tattoos, the World, Thinking, Writing

Going a Little Cray Cray

I am experiencing one of those weeks where you have so much going on that you really have to take things day by day because you really aren’t sure what day it is thus what you have to do that day. This upcoming week is going to be beyond crazy. Three meetings (Monday night, Tuesday morning and Wednesday night), one article and one book review due, I have to set up training for work (we are getting a whole new system) and all that on top of my work schedule (I’ve never been trained for some of the stuff I am doing at work this week and I am going to be on my own so it will be interesting). This doesn’t include any class work, exercising or working on the novel.

I got Moose’s tattoo yesterday and I am beyond happy with it! No this did not hurt and even when it was done it just felt like a sunburn. Now I can’t even feel it. The piece is not only true to life in the way it looks but also the size. I guess my tattoo artist was surprised that I showed up yesterday. All his other appointments had cancelled due to weather. I told him a) the tattoo meant too much for me to not do it and b) I only lived down the street so I could’ve walked if needed.

I didn’t go to bed until late late last night and my brain had me up at 7:30am. I had all this great stuff I was going to talk about and share but it is all gone like wisps in the wind. My damn “n” button has something wrong with it. Half the time you push it and you have to push it again or go back and put it in because the key didn’t register the pressure. Grrr….

I did get some amazing photos (there goes that stupid “n” key) yesterday. I had to force myself to put my camera down so I wouldn’t be late for my appointment. Lol. Which reminds me I need to watch the next class on my photography course. And my writing one too. But I need to one thing at a time. (Sorry, I just paused there to get pictures of a new type of bird at the feeder.) The problem is I only have a little bit of time to get things done so I am trying to cram. And there is so much to do my days off don’t feel like days off. Just a day that I can cram more stuff that I have to do into. Sigh. How did my days get so full all the sudden?

I should wrap this up so I can share the photos with you all. I am pretty pleased with some of them! Thanks for reading and your support! Stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, Life, Love, Nature, Tattoos, Thinking, Writing

Almost There….

Well today is the big day. I sit here and anxiously stare out the window. We got hit with a storm last night and it is still snowing. A light snow to be sure but my mind is concerned that I won’t be able to get my tattoo. My heart is ignoring my head because it doesn’t even want to consider that possibility. I will probably cry a lot today. Yesterday was the month anniversary of Moose’s death.

The wind has shifted since last night. Last night is was blowing from East to West. This morning it is blowing West to East. That is never a good thing for us. We are in a storm “watch” until 7pm tonight. Since it has already dumped a lot of snow one would think it would be changed to a warning but I am no meteorologist.

https://horrortree.com/

Above is the link to the article I wrote last week. I’m sorry I didn’t share sooner. I would always remember after I had posted my blog for the day. Better late than never! And feel free to share the information with any fantasy writers you know.

There are no birds or other critters out this morning. I am going to have to check the feeder tomorrow. Everything looks full now but once the weather clears a bit there might be a big hit on the feeder. I hope all of them have a safe and warm place to hunker in today. Oh! There is a little chickadee! And the small woodpecker has arrived as well!

I am just clock watching now. I have another hour before I plan to get ready. I will leave a bit early and get out some extra money incase the price is more than he guessed. I always hate when I have to wait because that seems to be all I can do. My mind won’t focus on anything else.

I will try to add some more photos from Wednesday. I am sorry if I duplicate. I will try to go back and forth with my blog post to make sure that I don’t but just in case. Thanks for reading and thank you for all the support and comments! Stay safe!