Aging, Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Actions and Words

The rain and clouds have gone away. The birds are twittering away and the bugs are humming along too. The sun is out making the coolest diamond and crystal reflections off of the standing rain on leaves and petals.

I hurt still. Most of it is from the procedure (I feel like I need to put it in quotes or capitalize the first letter) but there is an underlying soreness from compensating for that pain. Like walking awkwardly because my back hurts or holding my body a certain way because it is the only way to ease the discomfort for a minute or two. I still need to call the doctor back and give them another update.

My days are off. It feel like it should be a day off. When I get to work it will be weird as well because I am usually the closing manager on Sundays. Not today. I am a mere cashier. I have tomorrow off but I am going to a friend’s house to help with his two dogs for a few hours. I guess he is doing a bug bomb. I am worried about bringing some home. I might strip down a soon as I get home, wash those clothes and hop in the shower. And I don’t want that stuff in my car so I hope he doesn’t expect me to take them anywhere. We’ll see.

I just want a day where I don’t have to worry about anything. No phone calls, no going anywhere just stay at home and do whatever. I am over my anxieties and physical issues.

I have discovered that what I thought was an invasive vine parasite is actually a bunch of wild grape vines! We have them all over the place. So I am going to scope out a few plants tomorrow and see if I can find some bunches of grapes. I saw some the other day when I mowed the front but I never went back for them.

I am going to wrap this up. I want to try to spend some time outside before work. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Life

Scatterings

Everything is going to be a bit abbreviated this morning. It is way too early. I almost forgot that I had to work early today. Having two days in a row off messes with me like that. Essie is out here in the living room with me this morning. Both girls ate breakfast. I was wondering because neither of them got up with me.

Most of yesterday was rearranging things for the move. Everyone is excited yet apprehensive. Will it work? How much routine will have to change? But we will give it a good try regardless. I did get the front yard mowed. It hurt like hell but atleast it is done. I didn’t have the energy to tackle to backyard. That will have to wait for another day.

I had intended to get my article written before dinner but we got so busy doing everything that I never did. It needs to get written this weekend. I am so tired right now. I woke up at 4am. A full hour before my alarm. I got to bed after 10pm. I get out at 3pm.

With all the moving around of things I seem to have misplaced my garage door opener. It is going to be twice as hard to find it in the dark with just my phone light. I will only look for so long. I’ll just have to get out of the car and walk around the side door to shut it when I leave as well as open it when I get home.

I got a call back from the doctor’s office about my back. We were busy here so I missed the call. I might call and leave a message later today. I know it will be a long weekend but atleast I will have returned their call.

I’m going to wrap this up and get going. Sorry this is a rather scattered post. I hope everyone has a great day! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Food, Gardening, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, the World, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Was This Supposed To Help?

My first instinct is to say a miserable day yesterday was. And it was. The procedure hurt like hell. Everyone was concerned because I was pretty much silent the whole time but when I got up I was balling my eyes out. Things took longer than anticipated. After all that I wanted to just go home and be with Chris and the girls. I still hurt worse than when I went in and some of the injection sites are tender and inflamed.

But I was able to spend some quality time with Mom and her girls. Bless her for being so understanding. I know I was a pain. But while we waited to got back to pick my phone up (the appointment was at 11:20am but I was told that they would need to keep it until 2pm to get the screen replaced… reasonable unless you just want to go home as soon as possible) we went to McDonald’s (I got a cheeseburger Happy Meal with extra fries) then back to Mom’s house. We ate and chatted then wandered out to her backyard. She had a metal trellis that she needed to get unstuck from a dying bush. She had sawed parts of it off to get it but she ran out of energy. After my procedure they said to do things that would normally hurt my back so I did. The first thing was to saw branches off to get the trellis loose. That accomplished we managed to get the trellis over the remaining bits of bush. I had to be careful because I noticed that there were green shoots coming out. I didn’t want to damage those if we could help it. Between us we managed to get the trellis free.

Things kind of went down hill from there. What they had injected into my back/spinal column wasn’t working. As a matter of fact I was feeling worse than when I went in. I was supposed to call around 2pm to give them an update. I couldn’t do that because I didn’t have my phone. I had to wait to get my phone because they were busy. (None of this is Best Buys fault. They were amazing! I brought my replacement screen protector for them to put on. Apparently the corner had something wrong with it. So they replaced my old one with one of theirs at no cost. They were also very accommodating to me with my back issues.) I did get my phone fixed and returned. It also has a new case to help when I managed to drop it again.

I got home in time to say goodbye to Chris as he left for work. I wanted to spend some time with him but it’s better than nothing. I did a few more things around the house to get ready for the end of the month (yes I know… I should’ve just taken it easy but I I figured I hurt already a little more was no big deal) and settled in to watch a horror movie before bed with the girls. (It was pretty good. It was called “The Mad Hatter” and I was pleasantly surprised. It wasn’t the greatest film ever made but it was actually pretty good.)

Today I have to get the yard mowed. I’m not sure how well this will go. Chris is home for the holiday weekend so his allergies are going to kick up. And then there is my back. As miserable as I am I need to atleast get the front yard mowed. The back might have to wait. I need to pick up a lot of fallen branches and I’m not sure that is a good idea right now.

I want to thank my awesome readers for the constant support. You guys and gals reaching out means a lot. I try to keep up with everyone but some days it is hard. So thank you for keeping up with me. And as always stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Thinking, Travel, Writing

One Big Ball of Emotions

Oh today is going to feel so rushed! No coffee either this morning. Not even so much as a very desired banana either. Both girls got up with me and have eaten. I texted Mom to have her let me knw when she was leaving so I could try to meet her outside. She texted a few minutes ago so now it is the mad dash to write this and read your blogs before I have to leave.

There were a lot of tears shed (on my part) as big chunks of the house got rearranged yesterday before work. Even more will happen in the coming days. I’m not sure if I will be able to do anything after my procedure in that regard but I did make a decent dent before work yesterday. If just feels like too much too fast. Losing my friend is still a raw spot. And my feelings about losing Moose have come bubbling back up to the surface. In short, I am a mess. I try to hide it as best I can but I’m not doing too well. And it’s not like I am the only one who is stressing over this big move. Truthfully I believe it is for the best. It’s the getting there that is the stresser.

I woke up to the furnace going off. Then when I opened the door to let the girls out I realized that I had left some of the more tender houseplants outside when we were moving things before work. I almost cried but held off. I hope they will be ok because this morning I have neither the time nor space to bring them in. It will warm back up to summer temps when the sun comes up but until then…

Stella is out here with me. Essie has gone back to be with Chris. It is too early for all of us. I am going to try to share some photos before Mom gets here. Thanks for reading and all the support! Stay safe!

*editor’s note: no photos today. Camera is in the other room and Mom is here. Will try to add a special post later today. Cheers!

anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Keeping to the Path

The girls are already outside soaking up the sun. The nights are getting chilly and the mornings are slow to warm up. I know that many people are happy to see the summer go but I am not one of them. Locals are happy mostly because the tourists will leave. I have decided that if I have to give up my Summer then I will celebrate Halloween starting today. And it will last through the month of October. People celebrate Christmas that long and longer so I don’t feel any qualms about this.

There is so much that is going on here I am trying to lighten my mind. I was able to get out early from work and that was so nice! Now that it is back to getting dark before I get out of work I feel like my whole day is lost. I go home, got to sleep and get up to do it all again. Today is day 8 of 8. Tomorrow is my procedure for my back to try to isolate the pain. No idea how early I need to get up. Mom and I are butting heads about what will happen tomorrow after the procedure. She wants to go back home to her dogs so I can “rest”. I have an appointment to get my phone screen replaced and she said “We’ll see how you feel.” If that is the case I will have her drive me home and I will drive my car. And yes I am not supposed to be driving after the procedure. I also need to pick up the girls medicine. So we shall see what transpires.

I did get a lot of photos taken yesterday. So I will have a lot to chose from. I still need to get more in my shop. I’ve not sold one photo despite the web site’s claims for that happening. I’m not sure what I am doing wrong (besides not adding on a regular basis). I’m flying by the seat of my pants with that whole thing. We could use the extra money but I’ll keep plugging along. Something is bound to happen right?

Stella is usually asleep but she is just laying and staring out the window. I think I will go spend some time outside while I still can. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, Thinking, Writing

Reassembly Required

It is going to be a challenging week. But hopefully I will come out of the end of the week with some answers with my back. And my phone will be intact. I am able to take off the last week of September. I asked yesterday. So that will hopefully help everyone while we transition into having roommates again (and I mean all of us including our house guest). Essie has spent the morning stalking around the backyard showing everyone whose yard it is. I did get her to come into eat between patrols. (The white shepherd from next door is lose again.)

I feel a little calmer. I tried a little meditation before bed last night. It was either that or the fact that I am just burnt out mentally but I slept hard last night. Some interesting dreams. My best friend from school was in them. Usually when she appears something is going to happen and she was a major player in my dreams.

Friday I am going to try to get things cleaned up a little more. I am hoping that I can do something every day off (more if possible but I’ll shoot for days off to make a decent dent in things) around here. Thursday I might not get much done with everything I have going that day but I will try to maybe do something with my rock collection that has grown exponentially over the past year or so. Part of it is me finding things in the yard. The other part is that customers know that I am a rock hound and will bring me rocks and stones as gifts.

I am looking at this mountain of paper work from all the medical crap I am doing. I asked to have all my bills consolidated on to one to make it easier to pay and know what I have paid. But yesterday I received yet another bill. So that request did not work. I have no idea what I still have to pay anymore.

My one bright spot was the letter and poem from my British penpal that arrived yesterday. It sounds like she is enjoying a much deserved vacation. I think I will wrap this up and answer her letter. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Writing

Changes Big and Small

This morning I broke out the Minion mug. Kevin has been sitting on my desk for a few months now just keeping and eye on things. With everything that is going on right now I needed some cheering up so Kevin has been filled with some flavored coffee from Dunkin Donuts (yes I am using their old name… it is what I grew up with).

The first change is that I am working today. It was supposed to be my day off but one of my coworkers is stuck in Kentucky with engine problems. The part won’t arrive until this morning (hopefully). So I was asked to work for her. I said yes because it is what I do. However…. that means I will be working 8 days straight. My next day off will be Thursday. Thursday morning is my appointment all the way in Traverse. Mom has to drive me because I’m not allowed to after my procedure. I also have a meeting that night. I will have Friday off instead of closing and having to be back at 7am Saturday morning.

The second change is a major change for the whole family. A family member will be moving in with us for a few months. After that few months we are going to see what happens. It will be a huge adjustment for all of us. This will hit the last week of September. Right after I get my colonoscopy lol.

So much so fast… one of my coworkers bought me a bottle of chocolate wine yesterday. He said he thought I might need it. I haven’t cracked it yet. It is still sitting in the fridge. I just don’t know what else to say. I am still trying to wrap my head around everything. Both have the potential to be good changes. That is what I am hanging on to. What can go right instead of what can go wrong.

I am going to try to relax a little before work. Thanks for reading and all the amazing support! Stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Thinking, Writing

Time, Timing, Timeless

Despite the beauty of the morning I still feel a bit hopeless. Life seems to be moving too fast. Things that I want to do or need to do don’t get done. Too much to do or not enough time to do them? Or both? Am I a failure because things aren’t getting done? What about the things I try to do for other people? How do I chose what gets done?

As you can tell my mind is feeling a bit overwhelmed. I was able to get out of work a little early and spent pretty much the rest of the day with Chris and the girls. We had a lot of fun together. Despite my lack of sleep I still managed to stay up til almost midnight. I slept relatively well but I still could use more sleep.

I also notice that I have been buying things to fill a hole inside. Do you ever get things spur of the moment and then when you get them home wonder what you were thinking? Not that it is hideous or anything but you didn’t really need it (despite what you thought at the time). I have been doing that. I know part of it is missing my friend. Another part is I really don’t know what to do with myself. So I take photos. Or play in the garden. Or play with the dogs. Or read to escape. I don’t know what to do. I feel lost.

Essie really wants me to play. She and Stella both have come over while I am typing this for attention. Stella has brought me her ball. Essie has left her frisbee somewhere and I think I am expected to find it. Apparently this is part of the game. Now Stella is staring at me hard and wagging her tail. So I guess I need to wrap this up and go play for a bit before work. Thanks for reading! Stay safe!

Life

Scared Pibbles and Care Packages

I have determined that Mother Nature hates me today. If she cared then she would not have started her storms just before I was going to bed last night. I might have an hour of sleep right now. Storms were supposed to atleast ease up before I left for work this morning but they are steadily rumbling and flashing along. I have Essie sleeping at my feet. I did get her to eat breakfast. Stella is in with Chris. She ate a little bit too.

We are in my office with the light on. That seems to help with the lightening. Until the power cuts out. But I will take it. I hate having to leave them when it is storming out. The bonus about leaving this early is that they can have Chris to cuddle with. I don’t shut the bedroom door.

When I get home tonight I hope to finish putting together the care package for my friend. I picked up some more goodies for her. I hope they cheer her up. The long and short of it is that some idiot made a left hand turn after essentially cutting her off on her motorcycle at 60mph. She was helicoptered out and had to be shocked back to life I think three times. But after several surgeries she is resting back home. Seriously people! Watch out for motorcycles! Hell EVERYTHING when you are driving!!!! I get so mad when I see people playing around with their phones and stuff while they are driving not even looking at the road. No one seems to feel they need to pay attention. 😡🤬

And here is Stella…. the thunder is literally rumbling across the sky for like a minute or longer now. Sigh… they both seem to be ok with me here in the lighted office. Mostly. Stella still shivers when the thunder goes. It seems to have quieted down???? Nope. Lightening AND thunder. One right on top of the other. Oh boy. I am going to wrap this up and try to calm the girls. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Learning, Life, Love, Motorcycles, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Feeling the Fall

It looks like we have been getting rain from the hurricane weather along the east coast. We need the rain. For whatever reason it seems to freak out Stella when it rains. I have no idea why. I noticed that the bathroom door had been shoved open when I got up this morning. That means Stella got scared and went in there to hide.

I don’t know how work will be tonight. It was slow but we had a call in so that made things a bit sketchy. We actually had two call ins. The night manager and the closing carry out. But we managed. I hope all goes smoothly tonight. I have a good crew so….

I just want to sleep today. I know part of that is because I’m not getting any tonight. I am closing manager tonight and opening manager tomorrow. Which means if I get home around 10:15pm and get to bed 11pm (ha ha) then get up at say 5am so I can get this done before work then I get six hours of sleep. I don’t know if that will be enough time but I will try. I have to remember that I need to get to work early to get everything opened before we do. Especially since I seem to be manager and gas tomorrow. That is not going to be fun.

With everything going on I’ve not been able to get many new photos to share. I have been culling through what I have and trying to share ones I haven’t yet. I did try to get a few this morning in the rain. I’ll see if any turned out. Sorry this is so blah. I can’t seem to wake up. I did treat myself to some goodies from the Dollar General. I also decided to send them to a friend who is recovering from a bad motorcycle accident. So I will slide into work early again so that I can get one or two replacements for myself. I know they will make her smile. I hope to send the care package out soon. Thanks for reading and stay safe!