Animals, Dogs, Emotions, family, Life, Photography, Thinking

Whaaa???

I had planned to ride in today but not now. I woke up every hour exactly an hour apart (:47 after the hour). No idea why. Then 5am wide awake. So here I am. Moose’s diagnosis was what I had feared. He’s lost 11lbs in two months and all his bad levels for kidney disease have essentially doubled. So. Moose had a horrible time at the vet’s office as well. Nothing they did or did not do. Moose was just that scared despite his anxiety meds. And all he did after I left for work was sleep. All he has done since the vet’s is sleep. I got them out playing for a few before I had to leave for work yesterday but…. and he won’t eat again this morning. It’s new food (courtesy of the vet) and I even put some egg in it. He barely ate any dinner last night. I know he was beyond stressed yesterday but I am very concerned that it is going to have long lasting effects on his disease.

I closed last night and I have to be back at 8am today. I am going to request an early out of they can manage it. I am working both the deli and the second cash register all day. I am so tired (but can’t sleep) and emotionally drained.

I talked to Mom the other day on the phone. I thought about trying to Facetime with Dad today after work but I just can’t. I am in dire need of some me time. And that, sadly, is all I have this morning. I have some more photos I will share. I hope you enjoy them. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Thinking, Writing

Season Changes

I am trying to look past the lack of sleep and anxiety. I am trying to keep a level head about things. But the combination of all of it is kicking my butt. The closer we get to Moose’s appointment the more irritable I get. I also have a stress headache.

Be that as it may I got some good photos yesterday of the color changes around here. If I can manage it I will leave early for work and take my camera. The road to work it just a riot of color. Our little valley here seems to always stay greener longer (for which I am grateful). I can see the trees change daily. The colors seem to be changing fast now that they have started. That usually means a very cold winter. Regardless I will share some of the photos I took. I really do need to sit down more with the book I got to go with the camera. I tried to go through it from first page to last but I found myself impatient because I had discovered a lot on my own. I want the nitty gritty as it were. But I don’t know the proper terms to be able to ask the right questions so I am going to try again.

I did start watching some videos for class the other day. I have to say that all the classes so far have been very good. I am looking forward to seeing what the capstone class will be about. It has a very vague explanation of a class that you work one one piece of writing.

I am trying to write this and upload some photos. The camera battery is low so I’m not sure how many I will be able to get. I only chose five (yes just the five…. sorry movie quote reference lol) to try to share some of what I took but the battery light keeps flashing ominously at me. But I might just make it.

I might have time to start another video for class (yay! I got all five before the battery died!) before we head out for the vet appointment. So I will post this and see what I can learn. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Creativity, dreams, Emotions, Gardening, Learning, Life, Thinking, Writing

Questions

As I sit here in the way too early morning I look at my blog and think that it isn’t what it was supposed to be. But what was it supposed to be? A place to show my writing for sure but what kind? Was it for my non fiction? My fiction? Photography is a new love so it wasn’t that. I don’t know.

But I do… it was supposed to be a place where people could come and learn new things, learn about topics they didn’t know about or were curious about. I think I’ve done that over the years. But what, then, has it become? It feels more like an online journal. And while that might be nice for a while it is not what it was meant to be.

So should it change? I don’t know. I wanted it to grow organically and it has. Just because it has gone in a different direction does not mean it is wrong. Just different. I guess I am looking at things because it feels as though it has become a whine fest and that is NOT ok. I try to keep my bad days short on here because there is enough of that in the world without me adding my two cents. Yet when I go through tough times what should I do? Part of me wants to share to show that everyone has bad things happen and we can all make it through. Yet… yet where do I draw the line? I don’t want my readers to think that all I do is whine (I might not but it feels like I do).

I have made many friends through my writing. I have learned things I would not have otherwise through my writing and reading that of others. My writing has always been very much a part of me, even when it went dormant for a few years. I am trying to find new ways to water, feed and nurture my writing garden. That is why I continue to do this blog.

Thanks for reading. Stay safe. ❤️

Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Learning, Life, Nature, Photography, Thinking, Writing

A Little Piece of Me

Despite getting good solid sleep I am exhausted. On the positive side I have gotten two articles written and sent out. I plan to watch atleast one class video before work this morning. The sun is up and out so it should be a beautiful day. Even though I wish I could stay home it will be a good day to be out and about.

I got three tees from Maui Brewing Company yesterday and I love them all! You gotta love random choices!

I got some more photos over the course of the day yesterday. Some I think turned out pretty well while others will be used as a learning tool.

I am getting more and more antsy about Moose’s Friday appointment. I want to know now what is going on. I wonder if it had been one of the regular vet techs if we would have gotten in sooner. Moose does a little then sleeps a lot. He is down to pretty much one meal a day. He is drinking a lot of water as well. All bad signs with kidney disease. So we will see soon I guess. Just not soon enough for my liking.

My mind is kind of all over the place. I am trying to make sure that I get everything done I need to before work. I was supposed to add some thing to the grocery list for today but I have forgotten them. Grrrr… I will get another cup of coffee and then start watching my class videos. Sorry this is so short but I hope you enjoy the photos! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Holiday, Life, Movies

Friendship

Nature looks as sleepy as we feel this morning. It is cloudy enough to make you wonder if it night rain later but the sun is poking through here and there. I think it will be a lazy day as much as I can make it today.

I had a fun surprise yesterday afternoon when I got home from work. Two actually. The first was a long time friend stopped by to spend some time with us and the second was that Chris elected to stay home from work so we could spend time with our friend. When I got home I was beat and a bit too exhausted to play hostess. But that didn’t last for long. Soon the three of us were catching up and making plans for October. Jim is a big horror fan like myself. With COVID happening the yearly Halloween Horror Movie Marathon at our local theatre probably wasn’t going to happen (we had such a blast staying up literally all night watching Halloween (the movie franchise) movies and playing various games between viewings!). So we are making plans to do our own. We are defiantly including Trick-R-Treat and Nightmare Before Christmas but the rest of the viewing is up for grabs. Also under consideration in the menu. He has started the Keto diet so I want to make sure we stick to stuff he can have. Needless to say it was a good visit. Oh and as an added bonus he brought me my Halloween/October gift of a Chucky tee shirt (Child’s Play movies).

I took on a meeting last night for the paper and got the article written this morning. Which is why this is so late. Before the meeting Chris and I had a really nice dinner on the grill together and we started watching the series Ratched on Netflix. It was nice and relaxing to spend the bonus time together.

I am debating about whether or not to watch my class videos today. I may put that off. The kids really want me to get out with them and really I do too. I need a break from things. That being said I am gonna wrap this up and send it out to the world. Thanks for reading and as always stay safe!

Animals, Dogs, Emotions, family, Gardening, Life, Nature, Thinking

Trying to Breathe

Last night I closed and this morning I open. I’ve been awake since Chris came to bed around 3am. Poor Stella got us up around 4:30am to be sick and while she was doing that Moose came quickly through the door because his tummy was not happy. So it will be an interesting day. I do get out at 2pm so once I get groceries I can come home and chill out. I have tomorrow off so once I get stuff done around the house I can relax til the meeting tomorrow night.

I hope I can pull my camera out for a bit. I’ve not been able to take photos in a few days. I may be able to pull all the plants out either today or tomorrow. Yesterday was beautiful but the night was chilly. So we’ll see. At one point I do need to get more dirt to try to transplant some of the smaller plants to give the big ones more room. Then maybe the smaller ones will be able to grow more.

There has been a steady wind for the past few days. It can be rather soothing if you can just focus on it. Since I will be manning the courtesy /gas counter today I will be able to atleast feel it through the window. Sometimes it will blow up dust devils through the back part of the parking lot. It was nice to sit out in it yesterday before work in the sun.

Speaking of work I need to get going. I have found a few photos that I haven’t shared yet so I will post those. Thanks for reading and be safe!

Life

Bad night

This will be short as I am not really up to this. Yesterday went well until I did Skype with the family. It never ends well. I know better than to do it. But I did it anyway and I am paying the price. So I am deleting Skype again. We can just message one another.

I had hoped to ride in today but I don’t see that happening. On a happy note Chris and I each had a green bean and tomato off the plants and they are very good. I am going to stop here. Sorry for the short post. Thanks for reading and stay safe.

Life

Mental Health Check

Yesterday was a beautiful day to ride. Unfortunately I missed most of it. The middle of the day was gorgeous! I know I was outside checking on the bike every little while lol. But I did ride the bike in to work. I thought about taking a wee ride after work but once I got my gear on I realized how tired I was. Temperature had a factor as well. If the sun would’ve still been up in the sky sharing the warmth I would’ve probably still gone for a ride despite being tired. I was surprised at the excitement from the dogs when I got home. It as more like I had been gone for the weekend instead of a 9 hour shift at work. I think it was because I rode the motorcycle in. All my dogs over the years have been concerned when I’ve ridden in or gone out for rides. I get home and get a much more excited welcome than normal (and that’s a LOT lol).

This morning has dawned very frosty. The sun is out so it seems to be warming things up. Next week is supposed to be summery warm so hopefully I can get the plants out for one more hurrah and get the outside plants harvested before things get cold and stay there. I’m not looking forward to it staying. More so this year because of the effect on those that I care about. Mom’s hands are really starting to hurt on the cold days from arthritis and Essie seems so have more problems getting around on cold days.

I am pretty happy with myself for keeping myself going these past few months. I have stuck it out and keep posting here every day. I have started classes and kept up with that (I need to write my paper after I finish this). I found a job that I enjoy. I also keep pushing myself to step outside of my comfort zone. A big one for me was riding in yesterday. I didn’t freak out and I didn’t back down. I have also still been able to take care of and be there for my loved ones. It has been a struggle at times but I still managed to make it. I don’t feel like a fraud wearing my my motorcycle jewelry and clothes now. A small thing for others but a big thing for me.

Ok, I need to wrap this up so I can get my classwork done. The natives are getting restless and are starting to bug me to get love and play. I should be able to get my classwork done before they get too bad. We’ll probably need to go out and play in a little while. I need to clean the motorcycles so maybe a trip to the garage later too. Thanks so much for reading! Have a great day and stay safe!

Emotions, Learning, Life, Love, Motorcycles, Photography, Riding, Thinking

And A Riding I Will Go

The goal today is to ride the motorcycle to work. Yep. And I don’t pick a nice day to do it (then I beat myself up if I don’t do it). No, I pick a cold day with frost in the morning. To ease the guilt if I back out? Maybe. Regardless I got all my gear etc laid out and ready last night so I don’t have to do anything but go today. As simple as just taking another vehicle. Atleast on the surface.

I have only allowed myself glimpses into the emotional box that I pulled out from under the bed by deciding to do this. If I pull the cover off and look inside I would never take the bike. So I peek beneath every once in a while to see if anything has changed, to see if I can control anything that is in the box. I allow myself little tastes of feeling in regards to the upcoming ride. I let myself feel a bit of excitement, but not too much because that can quickly turn to anxiety. I let myself think about where I will park once I get to work but not too much because then concerns over other things happening (or not happening) will take over. I do this for a little while then I shut the lid and make myself think about something else. I try not to wonder if it is a good idea or not. I try not to talk myself into it or out of it. I turn to just let it be.

The sun is out so that is a good sign. I checked all my gear so I will have music because my helmet Bluetooth is charged and paired with my phone. I am choosing to wear chaps instead of my full blown riding pants. Since I am only going a short distance I should be ok. If I was riding to Traverse I would put on the pants. I am not hooking up the heated gear again because of the short distance. I do have all the jacket liners zipped in and my purple Ride Like A Girl Racing hoodie to wear.

Another bonus of riding in is that I can’t buy anything. Last night I brought home four plastic trick or treat buckets that I am going to use as planters. I also brought home a mum plant to go in one of them.

The Jeep can’t go in for atleast another week due to unforeseen circumstances with our mechanic. So atleast I have a date of sorts. And if I am riding the bike now it will be less of a shock when I have to ride in colder weather. I am grateful I don’t have to ride all the way into Traverse anymore.

I think I will wrap this up for now. I’ll add a few photos I took yesterday around the yard. Probably the last nice day this week but we’ll see. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Gardening, Life, Nature

Little Update With the Gardens

As the sun comes up I look around in a panic. I thought I had enough time to get everything done including this. I got up extra early so that I would have time to do all of it. So where did the time go? I get out at 3pm today so I can finish things up when I get home.

I am sad to say that I had to cover my plants outside last night. I brought the rest inside. There was a freeze warning and the upcoming nights don’t look much better. So what do I do with all the stuff that is still growing? I believe that a cucumber plant has started to produce little ones on the vine over the past few days too. Last time I had to cover everyone up they looked really good when I pulled the covers off. I am hoping this will be more of the same. The question will be down to sunshine and temperature.

I was informed yesterday at work that I was going to be getting a raise already. It should kick in either this week or next. So I will be able to tell next weeks paycheck or the following. I was pretty impressed.

No photos today as I haven’t had any time to take any. And I see by the clock that I need to get it in gear to go to work. Thanks for reading and stay safe!