Animals, anxiety, Automotive, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Travel, Writing


The wind has been tossing the tree tops around like a juggler. We are slated to get freezing rain today. I hope not but who knows anymore. I just hope the wind doesn’t blow out the furnace. I worry about the pups while I am at work. Tomorrow will be crazy enough without slippery roads. The tasting tomorrow is only supposed to take an hour but I don’t know I will get introduced to “Sue” while I am there or not. She is the person I am supposed to be helping put together a newsletter from the Elk Rapids store. Honestly I am not too keen on it as the last time I put all that time into it and it just got left. I asked for input and I got none.

Mom was blowing up my phone because I hadn’t responded to a text she sent after I went to bed. The fact that I had to get up at 4am didn’t seem to matter. Then when I also explained that I was working 10 days in a row so I might not respond right away she went off on that. I tried to explain that I did it to myself by agreeing to cover for a coworker that had a family emergency. I have yet to receive a response. I know her heart is in the right spot, but I really don’t have the energy to defend all this. I am trying my best to get through it. It is hard keeping the negative feelings out. I feel guilty because I just want to be left alone and everyone (especially Chris) is trying to be there for me. I am even snapping at the dogs.

I still need to water plants and shower before work. I meant to shower when I got home yesterday but I just didn’t have the energy. I stayed up as late as I could last night but still ended up awake at 7am. But I guess that will give me enough time to get things done around here before work. Geez…. I am watching the snow blow horizontally from east to west out there. The tops of the trees (and the bottom in some instances) are whipping around like screaming fans at a rock concert.

I am going to try to add some new photos. I have a second bloom opening on my cactus. I did want to share that. So I’d best get to it. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Cooking/Baking, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Food, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Travel, Writing


Normally today I would type “just one most shift” but today I find myself typing “just five more shifts.” 😳 I can sleep in the next three days. Let’s start there. (Oh and I just realized that even though I have next weekend off I will still have to go in Sunday morning at 5:30. I have to let the deli people in and, more to the point, I have to do my liquor order.)

Both pups are on the love seat sleeping. They are in almost a heart shaped head to head. They have been very good the past few days. Here’s to hoping that continues. I’ve told them I have to work on my days off. I have gotten treats as well.

Everything has been arranged for Tuesday as well. Around 1:30pm I will head out to Elk Rapids for the hour long tasting then go back to my store and finish my shift. Fortunately I am not manager that day so that makes things a little easier.

I think I have my food planned for my Oberon event. I have also talked to the deli manager to make sure I can cook there instead of at home and haul everything to the store. I am excited about the menu so far.

Fudge…. I just looked at the clock. I need to wrap this up. Thanks fir reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Here and There

Grrrrr… nothing like being exhausted and then finding out I could’ve gotten an extra hour of sleep. But it is too late to remedy the situation. This morning I have both pups at my back. Not much traffic outside though. That is due to the fact that the weather we were supposed to get Wednesday arrived late yesterday. It was just a steady snow for hours. When Stella hit me up to go out around 2:30am the backyard looked untouched. And I know there was a lot of running around out there before bed.

Yesterday had a slow start (everyone was staying home) and when I left I had to get my car out of a 1/4 inch (.65cm) of ice. I don’t expect us to be that busy today. All our deliveries were on time yesterday. But today might be a different story. I did get to meet and talk with another one of my reps yesterday. We looked my beer cave over and I picked some new rtds (ready to drink) beverages for the Spring.

I guess I ought to get myself together. One of my friends should be coming back from visiting her son soon. She said she has started her sober journey so a bunch of us have gotten together to give her a nice homecoming. It will be good to see her again. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, Reading, Thinking, Writing


Parts of my back have flared up, badly. The muscle beneath aches and the skin feels like it is burning off. Good times! The temps have dropped (again) and we got enough snow over night to turn everything white (again). The wind is really blowing as well. What’s creepy is that the trees will be bent sideways with the wind, the next time you look all is immobile. Not a breeze to be felt.

Not much got done yesterday. I used it as a day of rest. I did water the plants. They are doing very well. My agave plant now has seven babies crammed into her pot. I need to repot all of them. But I am nt sure where I would put them right now. So I leave them in and hope for the best. If I can get my greenhouse put up this Spring that will open up more room for over the Winter. I have a few ideas I am exploring since it will be starting as a very basic greenhouse. Chris has put forward some very good suggestions as well. I am very excited about the whole thing.

I don’t know what will get done if my back doesn’t stop. I will atleast get the basics done, dishes and laundry. Last night just before bed I had a bad anxiety flare up. I manage to get things calmed down enough to fall asleep. Barely.

Some cool news though! My friend and I are going to the one day writer’s conference again this Spring! I went through and picked out what I wanted to attend. Some of them are the lesser of two evils. There are several sessions to choose from that do not interest me in the least. But I am paying for them and maybe if I learn about something else I can use it to fuel my own creative endeavors.

The second cool thing is that I won a contest on my horror app. It is called “Slasher” and is dedicated to everything in the horror genre. It is Facebook for horror fans. What is awesome about it is that everyone just becomes good friends. Nobody is pegged as weird or creepy because they like horror. We just share things we love and support each other. I have been on it from the start and it is awesome to watch it grow and flourish! Anywho, I entered a random contest on there the other day and I got a message that I won! Giggity! Other fun things we do on there have been a Secret Santa (the person that runs this incorporates various holidays so we’ve done it for other holidays besides Christmas), random give aways by both the app creator (who stays very involved in the group) and other app users…. It’s just a fun place to hang out. We dry each other’s tears and encourage as best we can. (Several people have finally been able to leave abusive relationships while others have fund people that understand what they are going through with their depression… did I mention a lot of friendships have been made on here?)

I guess I ought to get this posted. I might curl up with a book. I finished Kane Hodder’s autobiography yesterday so I can pick up something new off my shelves. I do have a few new titles that I haven’t started yet. Or I can get one of my writing books out and delve into that. Maybe one of each? Anyway, thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Automotive, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

A Stormy Bit

I am up earlier than I want to be, incase I need to go into work early. We got hit with nasty weather yesterday and last night. As a matter of fact the wind is starting to pick up. But a coworker lives down a two track that is a mess when this stuff hits. But some idjit in a big truck thought is would be fun to tear it up along her two track so with the weather she wasn’t sure if she would be able to get out. I told her to shoot me a message if she needed me to come in for her.

I went to bed way early. I was just too tired. But I feel as though I haven’t had enough. Stella got me up around 2:30am to go out but we went right back to bed. Both pups are asleep behind me. I know Stella is starting to feel sore from playing with Archie. I have been trying to distract him so he leaves her alone for a bit.

Still no word on getting my car in. I am trying not to be an ass about it but I really need to get my car in! Why this mechanic? Because he has been very good with my vehicles and if I don’t have all the money at once I can pay him the following week.

Both the store manager and the store owner have gotten involved in the issue with my one distributor. Since the store manager got to witness the mess the guy made and the fact that he was talking smack behind my back (we have never met) has ticked both of them off. The store owner has set up a meeting with them to straighten things out.

I am gonna wrap this up. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Automotive, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, Thinking, Writing

Feeling a Little Lost

I am at a loss this morning. Spring needs to come sooner rather than later. I would atleast be able to work in the yard. This morning it is raining and dark. Going into dusk dark. Everything is turning blah for me. There is no flavor to anything. No color to anything.

I still haven’t heard when I can get my car in to be looked at. I just sent another message to my mechanic to remind him. I know he had atleast 10 cars to get through before he could fit me in. I have no idea the repairs needed for each but he sounded like it would be last week some time. I don’t think he forgot but I feel better knowing that I have reached out. Not knowing what is wrong I am not comfortable driving my car any further than to and from work. My neighbor wanted me to drive her to the store for some groceries yesterday. I wasn’t comfortable doing that. I just don’t want to drive more than necessary. I told her maybe today if she didn’t find anyone. I was hoping to hear from my mechanic.

I found a perfect gift for Chris but it turns out that it is downstate. So it is back to the drawing board. I think Stella is feeling sore from rough housing with Archie all the time. I am trying to keep an eye on them and intervene when he starts getting to rough. It’s not that he is being mean, it’s just that he is so much bigger than her now and doesn’t realize how strong he is when he is rough housing. I want to work on training with him. I do for a little bit then drop the ball. And Archie does want to learn. He is very smart.

I tried to work on my novel yesterday. I wonder if I am just over complicating my story. That what seems to be evolving as my story line just needs to be broken down into other stories or other books. After that depressing revelation I ended up getting Stella and Archie enrolled in a free pet finder program. I will try again today to sort my novel out. I think that I am just not following my original story. I had ideas that made sense and added to the story but now the research is just a procrastination tool. The problem is that the story line enhancements I am really interested in. So I keep going back to them instead of finishing the original story. Both stories are good enough to be told, I am just getting lost in the details.

I ought to get this posted. No new photos so I’ll recycle some old ones. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Automotive, Cooking/Baking, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Food, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Do I See A Light?

Today will not break me… Today will not break me… Last night was a near thing. I had a lot of customers/friends come in last night. I got a lot of love from everyone. And several good hugs. I told the pups that I still had one more shift to go, as they hunkered in on the love seat. The next time I turn to look at them they both have tear in their eyes and coming down their cheeks. That hit hard. They have been so very good. When I woke up this morning I seriously thought about not going anywhere tomorrow. But I think that they need some time outside of the house. And Archie needs to know that car rides don’t always mean going to the doctor. I think we will just stay in the area though. I don’t know what is wrong with the car yet.

I have heard back several times from the Brewery I contacted for my event in March. I am hoping that they send us some swag to pass out. I thought about doing it from 3-5pm but I might extend it to 6pm. That way anyone that gets out of work at 5pm has a chance to get there. I have several recipes to make but that will depend on when I can get ahold of the beer. If it is that day then it will be a long day for me at work because I will be cooking in the deli all day before the event. If they send the beer a few days before then I can piecemeal it out over two days. Although I might be able to ask the deli to cook for me as well. We’ll see.

I need to water my plants again already. My banana tree looked a bit sad after a few days of being happy. I checked and the dirt is bone dry. I checked several other plants and it is the same. So once I post this I will be going around and watering those that need it. Not all of them do. So I will check each one as I go. I am shocked at how dry some of them are! It’s like they haven’t been watered in a week or more.

I have limited funds this week so I have to make sure that I don’t go crazy. Car payment came out today so that was most of my check. I have to remind myself of that. When I feel like this I tend to overspend. I also need to figure out an anniversary gift for Chris. I am truly at a loss. I do plan to use the pasta maker I got for Christmas and make us some fresh pasta for dinner. Then we can use it together to do something. If I use it first I can hopefully get an understanding of it so that when we both use it, it goes smoothly.

Ok, I ought to get this posted and give the kids their treats. One more shift. One more shift. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Fast and Faster

This is waaaay too early on too little sleep. I had no carry out yesterday so that means I got to do it all. The only thing I didn’t do yesterday was a propane exchange. It was a bit difficult doing my job and someone else’s but I managed. My coworkers helped where they could, for which I am grateful.

I did come home to a fun surprise though. I had forgotten that I purchased it. I have a thing for The Nutcracker ballet and thus nutcrackers. Mom was getting them for me at Christmas for many years. Well this beauty is over a foot tall and Halloween themed. It was made by a local artist (she lives downstate). The same gal that made my horror lamp. I had forgotten about him because she has been sick and was unable to get him mailed right away. Not to mention everything that has been going on here. But he arrived in all his glory and I couldn’t be happier! As much as I love the lamp she made I think I love this guy more!

I wonder what today will bring. Whatever it does atleast I get out at 2pm. I am trying to focus on that. The clock is telling me I need to wrap this up. Thanks fir reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Automotive, Books, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Puzzling It Out

This morning both pups are on the loveseat behind me. The morning has dawned dark. The weather zones for my state seem to have reversed this year. Normally up north here we get all the snow and cold for the winter. Lately, the southern end of the state has had all the fun. And they are welcome to it! We have had some snow and bitter cold to be sure but nothing like what is normal for us.

Mom and I talked for a few hours yesterday. She is so bored but doesn’t want to do anything. I mostly listened. We want to get together, but I need to make sure the car is ok first. That is all I need is the car breaking down in Traverse. But I am excited to give her her gifts. I think she will really like them,

The Girls did come over for a little while yesterday. It was good to see them again. We want to plan a girls’ day soon. I am going to push for the middle of February or so. I know that our anniversary is coming up but one of them is also going in for surgery at the end of the month. I think it would help to get us all together before then.

I read a little bit on a story idea but then I called Mom so really no writing got done yesterday. I haven’t been very good about that lately. Too much going on. I will have to figure out when to make time as my work week progresses. I am a bit disappointed in myself but to be honest I have tried. I just seem to sit and stare at the page as my mind goes over everything that is unrelated. After about 30 minutes of fighting myself, I just put my pen down.

My days off seemed to go so fast. Everything seems to go so fast anymore. I need to do bills today before work as well. I should call my mechanic to see about getting Angus in. But I won’t be able to until the end of next week. And that check needs to go to my car payment. We’ll see I guess. I will message him and see what he suggests.

I think I will wrap this up and try to get something done around here. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Food, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Thinking, Writing

And We Wait

It was one of the hardest things to do to leave Archie at the vet’s office this morning. I keep telling myself he will be ok but the way January is…. I just don’t trust it. So I am biding my time until 2:30pm when I can go get him. I took the earliest possible time. Stella has wadded herself up behind me on the love seat. I don’t knw how she managed to get the blanket so tight around herself. She is sound asleep.

I was worried about icy roads on the way in this morning. We, thankfully, had no issues. But I will probably leave early to go get him because I miss him and am worried. Everyone has been very understanding of my craziness lately. I am forever grateful. A coworker got me a bouquet of tulips that I wanted. I loved the colors but I decided against getting them because I needed the money for Archie. While I was busy dealing with a cooler that had gone down he got them for me. I did my best not to cry. It was a near thing.

I think I will make Chris breakfast if he wants this morning (or rather this afternoon). He’s not feeling well and I need to make sure I take care of him. He made us dinner last night even though he didn’t feel good. And he has had the patience of a saint this past month while I have tried to deal with all this crap going on. He needs to be taken care of too.

A bunch of friends from work are checking on me. Bless them. I am going to try writing today. I haven’t really done anything with my novel. Not even looked at my research materials. I also need to see about pulling that interview together. At the very least I want to print her responses to my questions. That way I have a paper trail.

I spent a bit messaging with my cousins last night. We have our own private chat outside of the normal family one. I don’t feel the need to include everyone in our conversations. But both are coping since their Mom’s death. My one cousin is quietly going through her Mom’s stuff trying to simultaneously clean out her Mom’s stuff and pack up to move. But all in all they are moving forward. It is hard to believe it has been two weeks already. One week since the funeral.

I guess I will wrap this up and try to keep myself distracted. I will try to include a photo of the tulips I got. Thanks for reading and stay safe!