Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Thinking, Writing

The Songs of Mother Nature

This will be a stop and go post. When we got up I thought I heard the rumbles of thunder. It has gotten progressively louder. Fortunately the girls ate and went outside before it got really loud. I thought the sky looked really yellow when we got up. It kind of freaked me out. Right now Stella is hiding out in the utility room (there went lightening) and Essie is pacing around. Both girls are shaking.

Well we just got a severe thunderstorm warning. For the next 30 minutes. It is moving slowly in from the west. The way the sky looks I am grateful the see a small breeze. Good grief…. the thunder was just a low continual rumble for about 30 seconds. Kind of like a big monster giving you a warning growl.

There is a female cardinal at the feeder but I can’t get to my camera across the room. You can’t see anything without a light it is so dark in here. And the slight breeze is really picking up. Hang on, I need to shut up the house….. You know to worry when the neighbor has moved all the vehicles in his driveway either into the garage or beneath trees. (He has his son’s truck for the week.) The wind is coming from two directions. West (where the storm is coming from) and East. Well this should be fun! The skies to the South are kinda scary. Big thick colorful clouds moving in. The North is atleast straight thick grey storm clouds.

We got a lot done yesterday, even with Chris going to our friend’s to help with the flea bombs. (Yes, clothes went right into the washer and him into the shower when he got home.) I was able to get the living room cleaned up a bit more as well as laundry done The last load is in the dryer. I also got quite a bit done in the yard. I am paying for it but it had to be done. I know there is a lot more to do but I am happy with what we have been able to get done.

The thunder and lightening are almost continual now and all around us. I will sign off and hopefully be able to post this before we lose power. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Actions and Words

The rain and clouds have gone away. The birds are twittering away and the bugs are humming along too. The sun is out making the coolest diamond and crystal reflections off of the standing rain on leaves and petals.

I hurt still. Most of it is from the procedure (I feel like I need to put it in quotes or capitalize the first letter) but there is an underlying soreness from compensating for that pain. Like walking awkwardly because my back hurts or holding my body a certain way because it is the only way to ease the discomfort for a minute or two. I still need to call the doctor back and give them another update.

My days are off. It feel like it should be a day off. When I get to work it will be weird as well because I am usually the closing manager on Sundays. Not today. I am a mere cashier. I have tomorrow off but I am going to a friend’s house to help with his two dogs for a few hours. I guess he is doing a bug bomb. I am worried about bringing some home. I might strip down a soon as I get home, wash those clothes and hop in the shower. And I don’t want that stuff in my car so I hope he doesn’t expect me to take them anywhere. We’ll see.

I just want a day where I don’t have to worry about anything. No phone calls, no going anywhere just stay at home and do whatever. I am over my anxieties and physical issues.

I have discovered that what I thought was an invasive vine parasite is actually a bunch of wild grape vines! We have them all over the place. So I am going to scope out a few plants tomorrow and see if I can find some bunches of grapes. I saw some the other day when I mowed the front but I never went back for them.

I am going to wrap this up. I want to try to spend some time outside before work. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Writing

Changes Big and Small

This morning I broke out the Minion mug. Kevin has been sitting on my desk for a few months now just keeping and eye on things. With everything that is going on right now I needed some cheering up so Kevin has been filled with some flavored coffee from Dunkin Donuts (yes I am using their old name… it is what I grew up with).

The first change is that I am working today. It was supposed to be my day off but one of my coworkers is stuck in Kentucky with engine problems. The part won’t arrive until this morning (hopefully). So I was asked to work for her. I said yes because it is what I do. However…. that means I will be working 8 days straight. My next day off will be Thursday. Thursday morning is my appointment all the way in Traverse. Mom has to drive me because I’m not allowed to after my procedure. I also have a meeting that night. I will have Friday off instead of closing and having to be back at 7am Saturday morning.

The second change is a major change for the whole family. A family member will be moving in with us for a few months. After that few months we are going to see what happens. It will be a huge adjustment for all of us. This will hit the last week of September. Right after I get my colonoscopy lol.

So much so fast… one of my coworkers bought me a bottle of chocolate wine yesterday. He said he thought I might need it. I haven’t cracked it yet. It is still sitting in the fridge. I just don’t know what else to say. I am still trying to wrap my head around everything. Both have the potential to be good changes. That is what I am hanging on to. What can go right instead of what can go wrong.

I am going to try to relax a little before work. Thanks for reading and all the amazing support! Stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Thinking, Writing

Time, Timing, Timeless

Despite the beauty of the morning I still feel a bit hopeless. Life seems to be moving too fast. Things that I want to do or need to do don’t get done. Too much to do or not enough time to do them? Or both? Am I a failure because things aren’t getting done? What about the things I try to do for other people? How do I chose what gets done?

As you can tell my mind is feeling a bit overwhelmed. I was able to get out of work a little early and spent pretty much the rest of the day with Chris and the girls. We had a lot of fun together. Despite my lack of sleep I still managed to stay up til almost midnight. I slept relatively well but I still could use more sleep.

I also notice that I have been buying things to fill a hole inside. Do you ever get things spur of the moment and then when you get them home wonder what you were thinking? Not that it is hideous or anything but you didn’t really need it (despite what you thought at the time). I have been doing that. I know part of it is missing my friend. Another part is I really don’t know what to do with myself. So I take photos. Or play in the garden. Or play with the dogs. Or read to escape. I don’t know what to do. I feel lost.

Essie really wants me to play. She and Stella both have come over while I am typing this for attention. Stella has brought me her ball. Essie has left her frisbee somewhere and I think I am expected to find it. Apparently this is part of the game. Now Stella is staring at me hard and wagging her tail. So I guess I need to wrap this up and go play for a bit before work. Thanks for reading! Stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Learning, Life, Love, Motorcycles, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Feeling the Fall

It looks like we have been getting rain from the hurricane weather along the east coast. We need the rain. For whatever reason it seems to freak out Stella when it rains. I have no idea why. I noticed that the bathroom door had been shoved open when I got up this morning. That means Stella got scared and went in there to hide.

I don’t know how work will be tonight. It was slow but we had a call in so that made things a bit sketchy. We actually had two call ins. The night manager and the closing carry out. But we managed. I hope all goes smoothly tonight. I have a good crew so….

I just want to sleep today. I know part of that is because I’m not getting any tonight. I am closing manager tonight and opening manager tomorrow. Which means if I get home around 10:15pm and get to bed 11pm (ha ha) then get up at say 5am so I can get this done before work then I get six hours of sleep. I don’t know if that will be enough time but I will try. I have to remember that I need to get to work early to get everything opened before we do. Especially since I seem to be manager and gas tomorrow. That is not going to be fun.

With everything going on I’ve not been able to get many new photos to share. I have been culling through what I have and trying to share ones I haven’t yet. I did try to get a few this morning in the rain. I’ll see if any turned out. Sorry this is so blah. I can’t seem to wake up. I did treat myself to some goodies from the Dollar General. I also decided to send them to a friend who is recovering from a bad motorcycle accident. So I will slide into work early again so that I can get one or two replacements for myself. I know they will make her smile. I hope to send the care package out soon. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Tattoos, Thinking, Writing

Pushing to Move Forward

This morning I sit here at the table coffee in hand. Stella is on her back sleeping chasing something. Essie will come over every once in a while to see if I am done, see that I am not then go back and lay in front of the bedroom door. I glance out the sliding glass door to the cooler overcast day outside. I try not to think if the friends I have lost this year.

One remarkable bit though. The other day when I asked what Linda’s favorite butterfly was (I had planned to get a memorial tattoo for her) her daughter said that she would get back to me on it. When she did it turned out that it was a Monarch. I immediately took a quick photo of my new tattoo and sent it to her explaining that I had just gotten it. So I guess this tattoo is for both of us.

Essie has noticed that I stopped typing. I heard her get up. Then she heard the keys clicking and went to lay back down. She is such a busy girl! But I can go outside and she is content to do her own thing. She is eating again and taking her medicine. I am very grateful.

I wasn’t up to work yesterday. To add to that we got a brand new system at work. No one got any training. No manual or paperwork. Just figure it out as you go and hope you don’t screw it up. Not a fan of that. Neither was anyone else. So I get to try it all over again today since I am gas. Then I have to figure out how to close and open it Friday and Saturday. Not looking forward to either one.

I did get a page written on my novel. That is a step in the right direction. I have to be to work a little earlier today than yesterday so I’d better wrap this up if I am going to work on the novel again. One day at a time. I can hear Linda telling me that in my head. I miss her. Have a great day and thanks for reading. Stay safe.

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, the World, Thinking

Friends Are Family

Yesterday started out well but then went down hill and hit rock bottom. Chris stayed home because he was very sick. No idea what made him sick but it was bad. Things got a little better for him since he was able to keep down food but he still didn’t feel good. Then last night I got a text from a stranger. I had been trying to contact my good friend Linda (you might remember her from my posts about our monthly lunch dates) because the last I heard from her she was in the hospital because of her pain. We were hoping to be able to do our lunch date soon. Well this stranger was Linda’s daughter. Linda had died the previous night. The good news is that she was at home with her family and cats.

And there I stop. I can hear Essie’s tummy gurgling unhappily by the bedroom door. I am again worried about her. And again it happens on a Wednesday when the vet’s is closed. She didn’t eat dinner last night. She did not eat breakfast this morning. I don’t give her her medicine at night unless she has had a hard day of playing. So she didn’t have any meds since yesterday morning. She doesn’t eat random things she finds like her sister. They haven’t had any treats in several days. I have no idea why she has an upset stomach again.

So unlike the last few blog entries this one will be decidedly shorter. I have to go back to work today. My heart hurts. Hopefully I can stop crying. I hope Essie is ok but I feel that something is wrong. If I lose her too this year…

I hope everyone has a great day. Sorry for the downer post but that is where I am right now. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Food, Friends, Holiday, Learning, Life, Movies, Nature, Photography, Tattoos, Thinking, Travel, Writing

New Tattoos and Halloween Festivities

Another day full of ink and fun is in the books! Two of the four of us never had any tattoos. Even though she had a panic attack part way through once she was done my friend Erin was ready to plan her next bunch of tattoos. I am so proud of her! She got angry with herself because she had the panic attack but we talked her through it and our artist was amazing with her. He had her laughing loud at some points.

I went first, then Chris, Erin and Jim. We all got essentially the same thing in the same spot. Chris and I were the oddballs. Mine went on my back because Moose’s paw is where everyone else put their piece. Chris has the words “Death Is Certain, Life Is Not” in runes at the top and bottom of his piece. The ink will remain with us forever and mean even more to all of us because we were together to support each other when we got them.

Other plans were made once we were all together again chatting. As Halloween is a massive favorite (Chris is really just along for the ride, he enjoys it but not like the rest of us do…. which is to say that we love horror and Halloween year round) we decided to do another movie night but this time over several days if I can get the time off. We did it last year in lieu of the movie marathon we did at a local theatre in Traverse the year before. (There were games and prizes and we watched the Halloween horror movies til around 6am. I have my certificate on the wall still.) And since it will be a cheat day for their keto diets we can get pizza, wings and have popcorn. We might even dress up! I am thinking of trying to go to one of the local haunts. There is an amazing one in Traverse. I have a friend that works it every year (he’s a big tall guy… I think 6’3″ or something like that so he towers over most people) and keeps telling me I need to come. The last time Chris and I went we had a blast. So I am thinking that I might throw that out as an option.

Tonight is the first night of the full moon. Tomorrow will be the official Blue Moon, the biggest and best of the year according to the astronomers. I got some really cool night shots last night with the camera that I will share. Truthfully I prefer a bit of cloud cover when photographing the moon at night. It give a very awesome light contrast.

I should wrap this up. I need to get myself ready for my trip downstate to see my family. Chris and the kids are staying home. I am strangely calm about it all. For now. I think part of it is that I am in pain with my back. Not the tattoo mind you but my lower back really hates me. Anyway I will share a few shots from yesterday. I will have a photo of my full back tomorrow to share. I really like how the new tattoo goes with my dragons! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Tattoos, the World, Thinking, Writing

My Story, My Ink

The heat of the day is steadily warming things up. The girls have been outside since we finished breakfast. It is a gorgeous day already. All this is enhanced by the fact that I have a four day weekend. My own mini vacation! Today will be me doing whatever until it is time to go get our tattoos. I do plan to try to get a hold of Dad. I want to add dirt to the memorial garden. It is not near deep enough. I also need to water the outside gardens and plants.

I can’t get over the beauty of my hand tattoo. It is truly much more than I had hoped for! I will also share a photo of today’s ink on the next blog. I am hoping to get a photo with all of us. I have had many compliments on my hand tattoo. And someone always seems to ask if I get tattoos just to get them or if they have some meaning behind them. All of my ink is there for a reason. It annoys me when people just get ink to say they have it. Their choice and all that but… Part of my reason for getting tattoos is something that has been a great punchline for many. I get them for when I get old. I want to look at them and remember my life. One of my great fears is that I will get Alzheimer’s or something similar that will take my mind. I want to have some record of my life and happiness for myself.

I have always been proud of my ink. People who see various pieces always get drawn into a conversation with me. If they don’t have any tattoos then it is the usual “did it hurt?” (some yes but mostly no) and “how many do you have?” (my Supernatural one today makes 13) but some ask more in depth ones like “why did you get this one?”. I always enjoy sharing my stories. It usually leads to them telling me some of their stories. Even those that are not really big on tattoos walk away from me and mine with atleast a little more respect for the art. The ones that really tickle me are the older folks. When they learn that each piece has a meaning it doesn’t seem like a fad to them. Many of them have gone on to get a tattoo. It might be a small piece to remember someone or something that happened. Or it might just be a piece that makes them smile. It is always fun when they come back to show me what they got done. That is what makes me smile.

Well I have gone on enough. I will add a few photos (I’ll even add a few of my tattoos) and get this posted. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, Friends, Gardening, Life, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Thinking, Writing

Working to Ease the Malaise

This morning’s mental health is a bit better than yesterday’s. I still feel overwhelmed. I know part of that is that it has been such a busy week. Almost too much. Next week is a huge contrast. I have one meeting. Nothing else going on. I am hoping that since we are slowing down at work I will have more time to… find myself? Sort of but not quite. Maybe get myself together.

Ohhh I forgot we are going to have company the first few days of the week. A friend is going to crash one out couch because he has a job locally for a few days and lives down state. I don’t know how this will affect or morning and evening routines yet because I have no idea of his hours. I may only see him when I get home from work.

My goal is to get a review written on the latest book I finished reading. It is from a fellow writer I found on Twitter. I enjoyed it. Not what I expected (in a good way). I wanted to go and do one book review on here a week but that hasn’t happened yet. But it is still a goal. If anyone has any suggestions for reading material or something they would like to be reviewed please reach out. I don’t mind.

I was supposed to have a doctor’s appointment this morning but I had to cancel. I thought this particular appointment was the end of September not August. I knew this month was busy but sheesh! I have been trying to call to reschedule but I keep getting the eternal hold and I leave a message and then we play phone tag. Very frustrating.

The moon is almost full. I wonder how things will play out around here. Work tends to get a bit crazy on the full moon. I should wrap this up so it can get posted. Thanks for reading and stay safe!