Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Motorcycles, Thinking, Writing

Getting It Together

I just have to get through today.  I switched with the other Jennifer at work because they had me working 6 days in a row.  Yesterday morning was miserable.  Anything that could got wrong did.  I’m not sure why I am closing all the time.  I seem to be the only one that is doing that.  The other new hires are working more mornings and getting out at a normal time.  It was my understanding that I would be on mornings but… I guess not.

This morning I am writing in the living room.  I told the kids that I would come out here for a bit so they didn’t all have to cram into the office.  Moose takes up as much room as he can to keep his sisters out.  Then he gets mad because Stella is content to curl up and sleep on my feet.  Lol.

Next week will be my first week with both jobs (the grocery store and the paper) as well as class.  I am going to try to keep ahead a week for as long as I can.  That way if a week is too busy and I fall behind my classwork won’t suffer.

I’ve gone from all kinds of time to no time for family and friends.  Mom and I barely text and Dad has asked if we can FaceTime (I think his computer has been repaired but I’ve not had a chance to ask) but I’ve had to say no because I was at work.  I don’t think it would be such a big deal but it happened so fast.  I mean I was hired on the spot and started almost the next day and have been going full time ever since.

I think Monday will be my day to catch up on everything.  I need to do some stuff around the house and yard as well as try to catch up with family and friends.  I am grateful I have been able to come home to Chris and the kids these past few days.  I need to keep reminding myself that I have a meeting on Tuesday that I need to cover.  It is via Zoom so I can stay home and watch.  Out of the 4 monthly meetings that I cover only one still meets in person.  I prefer the Zoom meetings and will be sad when I have to start driving to all the meetings again.

I am happy to say that the Pearl (also known as the Black Pearl my 1992 Honda CBR600) is now residing in the garage.  My awesome husband moved her in there from the shed yesterday while I was at work.  I think I will atleast clean her up tomorrow.  I am very excited because this means I can start trying to get her running again.  She has been sitting stuck in the shed for many years (since I had to lay her down) so she needs to have everything gone through.  It would be awesome to have both bikes running! ❤

I have run on quite a bit this morning.  But the bottom line is things are looking up.  Thanks to everyone for their kind words and support!  As always thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, Books, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, History, Life, Thinking

The Big Day

Well the day is finally here!  It is hard to believe that I turn 48 years old today.  So much has happened over the course of my life… and so much is yet to happen.  I really am at a loss as to what to write about this morning.  I have spent a bit on Facebook this morning saying thank you for my birthday messages.  It gives me the warm fuzzies to know that people take time out of their day to wish me a happy birthday.  ❤

I think Moose is not happy.  Stella has taken to coming in the office with us in the morning.  Her spot seems to be at my feet under the chair.  He stretched and I told him “Good stretches!” and then Stella stretched as well.  Lol.

I’m sitting here looking at all the things I have collected over my years.  I have so many memories packed into my office!  And not just mine.  I have stuff from my parents trip to Italy as well as things from my Aunt Rita (well she was my great aunt).  I guess you could say they are little cast offs from people I care about.

Do you ever sit in a room and look at things and just let your mind wander?  That seems to be what I am doing this morning.  Mom sees my room as cluttered because there is so much but to me it is my history made accessible.  My book shelves are crammed full and then some but they are organized.  I have my knickknacks pretty much all over.  I have flags, posters, autographs, framed photos, license plates etc on the walls.  I even have a bunch of flies that Chris tied stuck to my corkboard.

Since my mind doesn’t seem to want to stay focused I will share a few “full” photos of my office.  It is my happy place.  Thanks for reading and have a great day!  Stay safe!

 

Aging, Animals, Dogs, family, Friends, Gardening, Life, Love, Photography, Thinking

Living Now But Remembering the Past

This morning has dawned cool and wet.  My back is telling me I did too much yesterday.  Which concerns me as it hurts because of the amount of time I spent standing.  This does not bode well for future employment.  I had this problem become very bad towards the end at Younkers.  That being said I did get a lot done.  I even uncovered our games from many years of dust.

Our games have not seen much use.  I am the one who will pull out  a deck of cards occasionally.  But I have been using my Minion cards that I received from a friend.  We also have Go, Chinese checkers, multiple chess boards, Scrabble, Cooking Scrabble, dominoes, Mancala… as well as a bunch that are not stashed beneath the table like Clue, UNO and some puzzles.  I remember when we were constantly entertaining and the games would be in constant use.  Now the kids have all grown up and friends have moved on.  Family too.  Mom and I don’t get together hardly ever anymore.  Dad and I haven’t talked in a few weeks because his internet service in Canada has suddenly decided to change his service to another company and charge him more if he uses anything (phone, computer or streaming services) til then.  I don’t understand how they can do that but this is the information Dad sent in an email to all of us.  Nothing til the middle of this month.  Which worries me because Dad will be completely cut off.

On a more positive note I did get all my classwork done and turned in.  I might start my next one this afternoon.  I would start it this morning but the kids are getting restless.  I may end up moving the laptop back into the living room on the mornings again.  We’ll see.  Essie did not eat this morning.  She has gone in and out of the office a few times.  I need to sit down and make one of my numerous lists as to what need to be done (money, job, etc).

I found another tomato on the plant yesterday.  It is small to be sure but it is there and growing.  I watered everyone yesterday because it has been dry but this rain should help move things along.  I need to replenish the dirt in the memorial garden as well (see what I mean about making lists?).  The dirt is settling as it dries so more needs to be added to keep the roots covered and add more nutrients.

We had a beautiful sunset on Saturday and I managed to get some gorgeous photos.  I will share a few.  Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Books, Creativity, Emotions, family, Friends, Life, Reading, Writing

Reading Leads to Writing

I did get some writing done on one of my stories yesterday.  I am rereading a series that I have not read in many years, Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles.  I had forgotten how her words and stories flow carrying the reader from the past to present and back again effortlessly.  It gave me some more creative juice to use on my own work.  So for now during the day I will read Anne Rice and at night I seem to got to H.P. Lovecraft on my Kindle.  Both authors have a lot to teach with their writing.  Both can tell a good story (it may take Lovecraft more words to do it sometimes).  Rice paints her worlds and characters with a loving and lavish brush to make them come to life.  I can lose myself in either author’s stories.

Today’s goal is to be able to work more on one or both of my stories.  I have to say that I am having an easier time with the one that has horror in it.  I am not very adept at the straight fiction anymore.  It is easier to lose myself to the supernatural.  Which is evidenced by my library, lol.  I have limited straight fiction.  Looking at my book shelves I am tempted to reorganize them and have a section of the classics.  That would include such works as King Solomon’s Mines (one of my favorites), Frankenstein, Alice in Wonderland, The Wizard of Oz (I am trying to get all the books) and other such gems from the past.  I have things divided into topics such as horror, mystery, research, children’s books, creativity and writing… you get the idea.  Other shelves are dedicated to specific authors like Anne Rice and Stephen King.  I do have to say that I love my library.  There are only a handful of books that I have not read in all of them.  Most of them have been read more than once.  Sometimes for pleasure, sometimes for examination and sometimes for a bit of both.  Right now the Vampire Chronicles are a bit of both.

I find myself drawn to different books and I am remembering when I received them.  I have the Chronicles of Narnia that Mom bought me when I was going on the road trip with my Grandma Morin for the summer.  She bought me the whole series to take with as well as a beach towel, a deck of cards (I still have those as well), sunscreen and a few other goodies.  I have A Ring of Endless Light by Madeline L’Engle that Dad got me (with a loving note from him written on the inside) because I loved reading it in the school library.  There is a book of love letters that Chris got me for an anniversary present (the same on he had flowers delivered to my work and I cried my eyes out).  I even have Dad’s copy of the complete works of Edgar Allen Poe (Dad memorized The Raven while he was on a ship in the Navy and that was the first thing I learned to read… and I still have the children’s book we read it from).  Sooo many memories on these shelves!

Goodness I have gone on!  Sorry about that!  I will stop here because I could go on endlessly!  lol.  Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Books, Creativity, dreams, Friends, Life, Thinking, Writing

How to Write (?)

I envy those that can just sit right down and start writing.  I used to be one of those people.  My imagination just feels like a dry vessel.  I seem to be able to do everything but write anymore.  Anxiety creeps in as I am forced to face the world outside of my home on a regular basis.  Seemingly all because I cannot find my way to regularly putting words on a page for money.  I cannot finish a story, polish it and send it out.  It sits barely visible on the page, unable to fight free.

Then there are those that publish and make money from seemingly bad writing.  And the particular piece I am thinking of might actually be very good in it’s native tongue but the translation leaves much to be desired.  What’s worse is that it is a friend of mine and I have been asked to read and review said published piece.  Each page is difficult to get through because of run on sentences and wording that doesn’t make sense.  Usually it is a failed colloquialism.  The piece has gone through numerous editors but it doesn’t show.  A well known book is referenced by name but the title is incorrect.  Not only that but the person that wrote the referenced book is the topic of the book I am reading and my friend is supposed to be an authority on this writer.  I am still only on page 3 of this book.  I skipped ahead thinking that maybe the writing would get better but it doesn’t.  And I don’t know what to do.  I read lines out to Chris and he just stared at me in shock.  It is so difficult to read and if I do finish the book I cannot favorably review it.  The “expert” can’t even get titles correct.  I’m not sure about facts.  I haven’t gotten that far.  This friend is bugging me to tell him if I like the book.  What do I do?  I can’t find anything good to say about the piece.  If I am honest it will probably cost me the friendship no matter how much I sugar coat it.  If I lie then others will wonder what the hell I was on when I read it.

So I sit and stare at the pages and think that I would be better off working on my own writing.  I got close yesterday morning.  I pulled out the notebooks containing my various projects and went outside.  I did the sit and think for a bit and next thing I knew I was sawing off branches of trees for the next few hours.  Things look nice and I won’t have to battle the branches when I mow.  But STILL NO WRITING WAS DONE. So I will try again today.

Thanks for reading and as always stay safe!

Animals, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Life, Love, Thinking

Essie Musings

I had hoped to have this done earlier but either the laptop or the internet has been giving me issues.  I dropped Essie off at the vet this morning.  It took me almost five minutes to get her out of the car.  Then when we got in the vestibule she just buried her face in me and shook.  Yeah, I feel like crap right now.  They are going to call me once she is out of surgery to let me know how it went and that she is ok.  I can pick her up around 4:30pm.

Stella has been very sweet and gentle since I got home.  I am both surprised and grateful.  Moose is just Moose.  He seems a little concerned that Essie is not with me but happier that I am home.  I made myself a to do list that will keep me busy once Chris gets up.

We had a friend stop over unannounced yesterday around noon.  It was good to see him even if his timing was off (I was getting into the shower when he pulled up).  He stayed until around 3-3:30pm so about 3 hours.

I decided to tap my 401K for my car repairs and such.  Not ideal but that will give us some breathing room.  I need to stay home this first week because of Essie’s surgery.  Since it is being considered a major surgery (which scares me because all they said about the size of the tumor was “massive” and if I am correct I think that is a good bit of her belly, she is too active to look as fat as she does so I think that once that is removed that is going to make a big difference to how she looks) I need to monitor her closely the first week.  I have a meeting that I actually have to attend Thursday night and a funeral on Friday.  Friday Chris should be up so he can keep an eye on her.

I’m going to stop here.  I need to get on the phone and then get things going around the house.  Thanks for reading and thank you so much for all the kind words and love!  Stay safe!

Animals, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Life, Thinking

Too Much All At Once

I never did get back to this yesterday.  I felt like I was on some kind of roller coaster.  This morning isn’t much better.  I am feeling overwhelmed by everything.  The State is open and the only thing we have to do is wear masks.  I should be looking for work.  I do need to get out of the house more.  But the anxiety can get overwhelming.  I took an anxiety pill before I left yesterday morning on the bike.  The ride wasn’t bad.  It was the first ride of the season for me.  But the anxiety…

I got my Jeep back.  All he did was fix the brakes.  It will be another two weeks before he can get to engine.  And this will probably be upwards of $1000.  Moose and Essie are not eating.  Every few days they seem to be going off their kibble.  I am worried that Essie’s cancer is back.  I am worried that Moose will start going down hill with his kidney disease.  I am afraid to put myself out there for a job.  I don’t want to leave the house.  I don’t want to deal with people.

I have a funeral to go to on the 24th of this month.  Way back when this all started a friend was diagnosed with COVID-19 and died.  She was the second person up here to die from the disease.  I am trying to see if a bunch of us want to get together later in the day since not everyone can come to the funeral.  We’ll see.

Oh damn. I just realized that I have my birthday next month.  I need to renew not just the tabs for the bike and car but I need to replace the driver’s license as well.  All this is hitting harder than normal.  I have been able to stay home and get my head together and find my happy place.  Now I am faced with giving it up or atleast part of it.  And things feel like they are piling up.  Change is good.  Change is needed.  But right now it needs to happen to someone else.

I feel restless.  I suppose I should start calling around for work.  I know it’s available.  I just don’t wanna.  Gradual would be better than all at once.  Today feels like all at once.  Maybe I will work on my writing for class.  Before I screw that up too.

Thanks for reading.  Stay safe.

Animals, Dogs, Friends, History, Learning, Life, Nature, Thinking

Looking For a Rhythm

The sun was out for a bit but now we are back to the cold grey skies and rain.  I do see blue sky here and there.  The temperature is supposed to hit 70F (21C) today.  I know I am looking forward to it.  Not a big fan of fall weather in the middle of my summer.  I also need to empty the excess water from the potted plants.  Again.  I’m sure I’ll be mowing this week as well but that I don’t mind.  The joys of having a riding mower. 🙂

The meeting last night was another long one.  But I find it interesting to listen and watch the process of local government.  Chris teases me about how much I’ve picked up since starting with the paper (in a good way).  As a kid my friends and I would go sit in on the court cases then go home and do our own.  We would rotate who was judge, prosecuting attorney and defense attorney.  We really had fun with that.  One year it was most of our summer.

I was able to get some more writing done on my new story yesterday.  So far so good!  I am struggling not to get lost in the details.  Things that I can look up later to clarify or change.  I am just trying to get the story all down first.  I know I will get lost in the research on this one.  lol  Too interesting to let myself just look up this or that.

I can’t seem to stop yawning this morning.  One cup of coffee is not going to help.  Moose keeps looking at me hopefully to see if I am done since I spent so much time on here this morning with the article then this.  So I suppose I had better wrap this up and get them outside to play a bit.  Hopefully the weather does warm up as promised (the furnace has actually gone on a few times since last night).  The kids and I are tired of being stuck inside all day.  I hope you have a great day!  Thanks for reading and stay safe!

 

Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, Friends, Life, Thinking, Writing

Writing and Memories

The rain has been steady all night.  I managed to get all three Pittys out to go potty after breakfast (and they didn’t melt!).  After dark last night I opened one of the bay windows wide so I could hear the peepers sing.  When I can hear them at night I know Spring is here!  As an added bonus it seems that one of them was hanging out at our ponds behind the house!  So I had a front row seat to listen to him.

I am still bashing my novel around trying to figure out what to do with it.  Maybe it was just meant to be a short story or a novella?  I am not sure anymore.  I am curious what happens to the characters but I don’t know what happens to them.  Since pretty much the next few days are supposed to be rain filled maybe this will help me stay focused on the story.  I have my current issue of The Writer that I have been going through.  Actually most of my recent writing magazines are sitting here on the table with bookmarks at various points.

An odd coincidence happened yesterday.  I got a hankering for orange marmalade the other day and remembered to grab some when I was at the store (the absolute last jar!).  Well yesterday I cracked the jar to have some on my toast.  (And it was goooood.)  Later that night I happened to be looking for some thing in my office and I found the Paddington Bear that my best friend in grade school and high school gave me.  The tag on him said 1987 so it had to be my 15th birthday that she got it for me.  Everytime I remember her I also remember that she is gone.  She commit suicide about six years ago.  One of my other close friends was able to find out what happened for me.  I am still missing one of my other very close friends.  We are still trying to find out what happened to her.   After I found Paddington I just kind of sat in my office and went down memory lane for a bit.  It’s interesting to see what triggers different memories.  It might be a sound, a scent or some thing you hold in your hand.

I had better get myself moving.  I hope you and yours are well. Stay safe and thanks for reading!

Books, Creativity, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Nature, Reading

Focusing on the Good

I am not feeling too great this morning so I will just get to the good stuff from yesterday.  Dad and I had a really good chat.  I was feeling up to it to we talked for a few hours.  I received my surprise book from my friend in Scotland.  I started reading it last night.  It is different in a good way.  You can’t get into the story but you do in a different way.  It’s hard to explain.  He has a very unique voice that I am enjoying reading.  I think I may offer this one as a review book for one of my editors.  I also asked a friend in Traverse who was making masks how much to have him make me one and send it.  He is making it and sending it for free!  (He is my Minion buddy so it will be made of Minion fabric. <3)  Some of the seeds I planted in the egg shells are finally pushing their way up through the dirt!  I was getting worried that the “good idea” wasn’t going to work.  And I also figured out the correct way to grow an onion from scratch if you will.  Online they tell you to suspend it in water like an avocado but they just rot that way.  I got a small glass jar, put a few inches of dirt, dropped in the top of the onion (the bit you usually throw out when you cut an onion up) and covered it with more dirt.  Then I soaked the dirt with water.  A few days later I can see all kinds of roots growing through the dirt.  I am very pleased!  Hopefully it will warm up and stay there soon so I can start getting all these plants out there and get the outdoor seeds planted.

This is about all I have the energy for.  Thanks for reading!  Stay safe!