Aging, Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Food, Gardening, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Mmmpfh…

I just covered Stella up. The 7 am school bus has made it’s second pass to pick a kid up. I want more than anything to be asleep in bed right now. I thought about putting this off til later in the day but I was pretty sure I would do it at all.

I am a night person, not a morning one. But I hate working nights. I would rather get out at 2pm. But I need to get to bed earlier if I am going to be up this early. It it a vicious circle.

I didn’t get much done yesterday. Plants got watered. I made pancakes for Chris (gluten free). I did dishes. I played with Stella. There was more I hoped to do but I binged watched “Queer Eye” on Netflix.

I see that I need to get myself together and get out the door. Thanks for reading and stay safe.

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Food, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, Thinking, Writing

Odd Times

It has been a weird morning. I woke up with a throat that feels like it was scrubbed with steel wool. I walked outside to sun with clouds but stood there for about 15 minutes as a patch of thunder moved overhead. Once the thunder and clouds had moved on it was blue sky. And it started raining. The big fat drops. From blue sky. Despite getting decent sleep I feel like I have gotten very little. As it was last night I had a hard time staying up as late as I needed to. Stella is still in the utility room. She got up with me and heard the thunder and promptly went in there to lay down. She took her medicine but still hasn’t come out to eat.

I think we are going to have a lot of apples this year. Our apple tree has never given us any apples. This year the tree is packed to the gills with them. Hundreds of apples the size of big marbles. So I will keep an eye on them. It sounds like Stella is eating breakfast. She is still hoarse. She is pacing trying to convince herself that it is ok to go outside.

I cleaned up all my potted plants yesterday. They weren’t happy with me then but they have perked right back up this morning. I still have no idea where they will all go. I was hoping for rain overnight because we need it but no joy. The rain this morning just barely got anything wet.

I see my laptop is almost out of juice. I suppose I will wrap this up before it dies on me. I hope you have an amazing day! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Food, Friends, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Writing

It’s Gonna Be All Right

I had a hard time getting up this morning. My body wants to catch up on sleep all at once. Just a few more days and we will be on vacation. Thursday’s meeting has been pushed to next week so that will be something to get me out of the house. This week it means I can stay home after work that day. I am grateful for that. I think next week will also see a lot of me in the gardens doing clean up.

I have a decent crew at work tonight. I hope all goes well. This morning when I went to open the sliding glass door I stopped. I saw a small hummingbird feeding on the flowers right outside of the glass. I stood and watched her for probably less than a minute as she went to all the flowers on the porch. She hovered and looked at me for a few seconds before she went to a few more flowers and left. That is the second hummingbird visit in as many days. Yesterday also brought me a brand-new Monarch butterfly visit. This beauty’s wings were freshly dried. That is how I know I am starting to destress. My nature friends are coming back.

I want to take Stella to the park for a walk but with the sickness that has been going around I need to keep her home. Walking her in the back 40 makes both of us itch because the grass is so tall (we let everything do what it wants). And she is itching enough right now.

It wasn’t supposed to rain today but I think it will. The skies are darkening and the temperature is dropping. As much as I am enjoying it, it is good sleeping weather and my body would really like to do that. It will be a struggle to keep awake. Hopefully the shower will help. I will share a few photos. Oh, we have two more cantaloupes! We ate our two tomatoes yesterday and they were amazing! I hope you have a spectacular day! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Food, Friends, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, Reading, Thinking, Writing

Trying to….?

As fun as it has been the past few days with my birthday the big thing is Stella. Last night I was debating whether or not to take her to the ER vet. She was panting like she was in pain (it was not warm). She seems a little better today. She is being a cuddle bug again.

I am a bit disappointed in myself. I did not, I have not, pulled my novel out in days. Maybe even weeks. Things have been so crazy I just read to get my mind off things instead of writing. It’s a good story. I want to tell it. But I can’t seem to get out of my own way. I am thinking I will work on it tonight. I shouldn’t as I need to be back up at 5am and I will (hopefully) be home before 10pm tonight. But I won’t be able to go right to bed let alone sleep.

Stella must really want my undivided attention. I shifted a little and the cushion behind my back made a creaky sound and she picked her head up (she is laying out in the sun in the porch). I still need to take a shower. I wanted to get laundry in and done first. I did bedding last night so that is good.

I find I am expecting too much from myself. But I don’t stop. Sometimes it does help. Then I will actually follow through. But right now I find myself overwhelmed mentally. I am trying so hard to do the right thing all the time. I berate myself when I cannot. Part of me is looking forward to the cold weather since that means I don’t have to work on what is outside, just inside. And I am at a point that I need the inside.

I guess I am planning a Younker’s reunion. Everyone wants to get together again. But no one is offering to pull it together. We have a place to go. So I will just put the word out for a specific date and have everyone bring a dish to pass. I can bring the plates and such. I do want to see everyone again. It was good to just sit and talk for awhile (I guess we were there for over 2 hours on Sunday).

I see by the clock that I need to wrap this up if I am going to get everything done. Thanks for reading and thank you for all the support. It means a lot. Stay safe!

Ed. note: My last two gifts were a really awesome chair and (giggity!) the box set of the Friday the 13th movies! Mom and I are getting together Saturday (we have decided to not go to the wedding Saturday) so I’m sure I will have more goodies to share after that.

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Food, Friends, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Surprise!

I was pleasantly surprised when we went out for my birthday brunch yesterday. When we got in the door Chris kind of turns to the left and waves. People wave back. It took me a second to realize that I knew all these people, lol. A certain loving husband went and got a small surprise party together for me! There were three of my coworkers from Younker’s, our neighbor’s from across the way and then the Girls (Chris works with them and we have become very close, so we just refer to them as “the Girls”). It was really good to meet and catch up with everyone. I even got to wear my Minion tank top that I wanted!

Tomorrow is the big day. I do feel better about it. And a big part of tomorrow is that it is a day off. Several of you have commented that it sounds like I am quickly approaching burn out. You are probably right. I have too much going on and am too much in my head lately. I am going to try to get my tabs for my vehicles this morning. I have tried setting an appointment, but their web sites are not working correctly (at least not for me). Since I did not get any paperwork in the mail this year, I am hoping that they can get me in. It should be very quick. I hope. I also need to call the vet about Stella. I hope we can get her in this week some time.

Aaaaand I can feel the anxiety kick in. One of my coworkers last night was talking about some of the medical stuff she was going through, and Chris and I just looked at each other. It all sounded a lot like me. I am going to wrap this up and try to go get my tabs. It is cool enough I will take Stella with me. Part of me wants to wait until tomorrow but that is not a good idea. I want some sleep tonight. I am sorry for the repeat photos. I will make an effort to get fresh ones to share tomorrow. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

anxiety, Automotive, Books, Creativity, dreams, Emotions, family, Food, Friends, Guitar, Learning, Life, Love, Music, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Tattoos, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Enough Is Enough

I find that I continue to take on more than I should so that people need me. In some situations, it is because I enjoy it (my article writing started out that way). Or to prove to everyone (including myself) that I can do all of it. But there comes a breaking point. Yesterday was that for me. By 9am I just couldn’t do it anymore. Between the brake issues with my car, two meetings on Monday (on the way to the first meeting is when the brake issue started) when Monday was my day off from my main job, the crazy day that was Sunday (being at work by 5:30am to do my liquor order, going home for a few hours after my shift then heading to the tattoo parlor to get my ink fixed), my first inventory where I have to count all my backstock myself for two departments by myself, my plans for teaching cooking classes at work this Fall, my birthday…. too much going on in my head and just as much going on outside of my head. Everything just shut down. My coworkers are awesome and they stepped up to the plate for me so I could go home early. I intended to get my groceries and leave but it turned out that the store owner was in his office as I was heading out. He asked if I was sick so I poured it all out to him. Instead of saying something negative he encouraged be to go home and get some much-needed rest. He also said that I probably was in need of a vacation. I mentioned that Chris wanted to take the week of Memeorial Day off and his response” “Let’s make it happen!” You know you work for a good company when that happens. So I came home with the Boss’s blessing and tried to relax.

I guess this is me trying to step back from things. I need to show someone else how to order cigarettes for when I am gone. As I type this I see the potential issues with doing that. I have to choose someone. There are two people I can choose. Either one would be good. However… the one not chosen will be angry and hurt. GAH! The easiest thing will be to just put it in the lap of my boss. I will give him my choices and let him make the decision. It might be cowardly, but I am close to both of them.

I am thinking of pulling out one of my three classes on dvd and doing that as a relaxation thing. I have creative writing, guitar and photography to choose from. At this point I think the photography is the only one I wouldn’t have to restart. Maybe the creative writing one would be ok. I don’t want to put more on my plate (thus doing the dvd verses going to an actual class class) but I want something that is out of my norm. Something I can focus on that I won’t just drift through because I know it.

I feel a stress headache moving in. It happens when I think too much about too much. So I will wrap this up and try to figure myself out some more. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Cooking/Baking, Creativity, Emotions, Food, Gardening, Learning, Life, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Working Plans

It’s always an interesting mix between my phone and my laptop. There are some of your blogs that only show up on my phone, others just my laptop but some will show up on both. So I guess it’s a good thing I write with both tools so I am able to read everyone’s work atleast once a week.

Yesterday was crazy. I was able to do my actual job two hours after I arrived. So once I finally was able to get to work on liquor and beer I felt like I was way behind. I am grateful that the “stagers” came and put out the three pallets of beer for me. I stocked as best I could (my very small liquor order arrived in the middle of all this so I put that out before getting back ti my beer cave) before they got there but the beer was leaving faster than I could put it out.

I have no idea what today is. I know my work schedule but beyond that… I am tired but atleast I can see progress being made at work. I still have big plans that I need to start pulling together to keep the departments doing well during the slow season.

I see I am running out of time. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Cooking/Baking, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, Exercise, family, Food, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Choices

I didn’t cough once last night so I managed to get solid sleep. I still feel a bit off though. Today is my “make your own schedule” day. My goal is to be to work by 10am and get things filled as best I can. My liquor order is sadly non-existent. Over half of what I ordered is unavailable. Sooooo this week’s order will be pretty big. We have sold out of a lot. I am trying to come up with new gimmicks for my various departments. I am bringing in gluten free beer (this is actually for Chris, but I figured he can’t be the only beer drinker that doesn’t do gluten) and I want to put little signs with the new stuff like “Goes great in orange juice!” (this will go by a new peach vodka I am trying… and yes it does since I tried it before I recommended it). So we will see if this goes well or not. I am still working on my course (I need to really buckle down on this on my next day off) and recipes. If any of you have any recipes for either cocktails that you like or food dishes that use alcohol feel free to recommend them.

I am really bothered by what I am hearing out back. It is a very angry dog. It sounds like someone is taunting it because I hear snarls and angry barks then laughter (from a child). Now if something happens it is the dog’s fault. Not the individual antagonizing it. That really ticks me off. Take responsibility for provoking the animal and creating the situation! I see that way too much. And the angry dog noises from out behind us I seem to hear atleast once a day. I am glad that we have a sturdy fence. I don’t want any dog fights if the dog does get loose.

I tried working out yesterday but my body is rebelling against it. My joints feel like there are pinched nerves (especially my lower body). My lower back is also having none of it. I can feel things becoming enflamed again. So I guess no working out for me. I need to figure out what else to do. The yoga seems to be ok but not if I do it every day. (Pardon the rhyme.) If I do it every day then my body starts to do the same thing as doing an exercise routine. I am worried that with the cold weather coming up that everything will start clenching and hurting again. With the warmer weather my muscles will relax some. With the cold comes shivering etc.

I see that I need to wrap this up. Stella has been out here with me (when she’s not out enjoying the sun). I am going to hate to shut the sliding glass door when I leave but I don’t want to leave it unlocked while Chris is sleeping. I hope you have an amazing day! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, Exercise, family, Food, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, Tattoos, Thinking, Travel, Writing

A Little Sun, But Not Too Much

The morning has dawned cool and dark. Not a bad thing. Yesterday did not get outrageously hot. I don’t think today will either. Storms are supposed to roll through this afternoon. I can’t quite get rid of this cough. I feel bad because Chris is trying to sleep in the other room. Then there is the coughing in public. Everyone freaks out. The pollen factor on top of it all just sets the throat tickles off.

I didn’t do much of anything constructive yesterday. I’m not sure if that is good or bad. I got lucky and my meeting was Zoomed and pretty cut and dry. I was able to get that article written this morning in no time at all. I sat down to look at next week’s schedule for myself. I have a meeting next Thursday night and my tattoo fix (I hope) that Sunday. Then Monday I have two meetings. One in the morning and the other that night. I need to figure out what I am doing with my departments as well. I am adding new liquors where I can. I am trying to put together the newsletter for work as well. I hope to do the food parings/cooking with alcohol this Fall. I need a list of recipes and figure out my format. One of my liquor reps was very enthusiastic about the idea of cooking with liquor classes. Sooo…. But I need to find my rhythm with it all. I did make some progress on my course. I might do some before work. It will depend on how much time I have.

I am starting to think about my tattoo appointment. I am not sure what I will do if he cancels again. This will be the third appointment. I think he should be the one to fix it instead of me paying twice (him for the original piece and then someone else to get it fixed) but I am not going to keep doing the round and round with the appointments. This will be his last chance. I just want it fixed so I can be happy with it. I have spent all Summer with this embarrassment on my thigh.

Stella has come out of the bedroom. She has curled up at the end of the couch. It looks as though the clouds are trying to clear. I hope they don’t. Folks could use a break. Of course, I type that and the sun comes out, lol. I think I might take Stella for a walk. I’m not sure where. Here would be the most convenient. But the park is good for both of us. I need to get myself some tennis shoes to wear at one point. Flip flops aren’t the best but it’s what I have. I guess I will wrap this up and take her to the park. Everything is long and scratchy in the back 40 which means her belly and my legs get it. And she needs to get out more. I will try to snap a few photos right now to share. I’ve not been taking many lately. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

anxiety, Cooking/Baking, Emotions, family, Food, Life, Love, Medical, retail, Thinking, Writing

No More Salads

Way too early. Especially considering last night. But I am hoping to get out early so… Why stores do not wash their lettuce before making salads is beyond me. We were starting to feel a little better so Chris went to Kalkaska to get some groceries (sometimes you just want to shop without everyone knowing who you are). While dinner was on the grill we ate the salads he brought home. Not long after that Chris got really really sick. I was honestly worried I would need to take him to Urgent Care or worse, the ER. I had my own not so happy experience a few hours later (I had eaten something before whereas Chris had eaten nothing but the salad) when I decided to shower.

So this morning I am feeling rung out and my throat thinks is has been cleaned with a metal brush then coated is phlegm. Coughing hurts. A lot. But I need to go to work so I can do my liquor order. So I am going in extra early to get it knocked out hopefully before the store opens. Then I will try to get the cigarette order done. After that I need to make sure the beer cave is filled.

And on that note I really need to get going. Thanks for reading and stay safe❤️