Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Looking For My Map

Ugh. My laptop battery was all but dead, so I decided to try writing in a new spot. I wanted to still be with Stella so I was looking for new spots somewhere in the living room. Right now (after several attempts elsewhere) I am sitting on the floor with my laptop on the seat of on of my bistro chairs. I am right in the doorway to go outside. The cord is not long enough to reach to the table. And the sun is making it difficult to see the screen as it is. Trying to find a spot was annoying because everywhere I wanted to go I couldn’t. Now I am typing in my lap because I hear my fan going. A few moments partly in the sun makes things too hot apparently.

I am trying so hard to be in a good mood today! I did pretty well yesterday. The last two hours of work though… I was really feeling it. The wrist is in bad shape today. I did pretty much all the work with my left hand, but I guess it was still too much. Everyone was so surprised at how well I did with my left hand. I explained that my Grandmother (Mom’s mom) was ambidextrous and Dad is left handed so I learned at a young age to use both hands. I am right handed but I can use both to do pretty much everything. You can even read my writing when I write with my left hand.

I need to get my stuff in the ground today. I have to cram everything into a few hours because we are having company. I don’t resent that. I just had the idea that I could putter in the garden for a few hours then Chris and I go out somewhere for a while. They will be here at 2pm so if I am going to do anything with the raised beds it will have to be as soon as Chris gets up. I don’t know how loud the tiller will be. And I don’t know how much I can do with this wrist. Running the tiller might be a bad idea. I might cram as many as I can in the memorial garden and hope for the best. They won’t all fit though. I do have space in the side gardens though. Not what I had planned but they need to go in somewhere. The poor things are getting root bound.

I keep saving because I am not sure this is charging. The symbol is there but it doesn’t look like it is doing anything. It might be best if I wrap this up and just go put it in my office to charge. Thanks for listening. I hope you have an amazing day! And as always stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Dogs, Emotions, family, Life, Love, Medical, Thinking, Travel, Writing

With a Cause

This morning’s anxiety attack I understand the cause. I talked with both my parents last night (this wasn’t my intention but oh well). Mom has not been doing well. She needs to go to the doctor. She tried what we refer to as rent-a-doc or Urgent Care. They pretty much said ‘Take two aspirin and call if it gets worse.” I hope that going to her regular doctor Monday will tell us something. Mom kept trying to back out of going. I finally asked if she wanted me to take Monday off and drive her. She agreed so I texted my boss immediately asking to have Monday off. I have it off and he also said to give her their best (meaning work).

I feel like I am running behind. I see by the clock that I am. I had things to take care of here before I did this and that used up a bit of my time. Stella came out to be with me. She is curled in a tiny ball behind me. I am very tired. I slept but I am still catching up on sleep from previous days. My brain is all over the place. I am just a cashier today so that might help.

I’m sorry this is a bit all over the place. On the flip side it will be short. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Brightish and Defiantly Early

I can officially say I got about 20 minutes of sleep. Not long after I got home there was thunder and lightening. By the time I got out of the shower it was going in earnest pouring rain. It was supposed to last til midnight. So I stayed up with the light on. At midnight off went the light and we snuggled in. I tossed and turned for a bit. Then came more rain, thunder and lightening. On went the light. We were still up when Chris got home from work. Naturally when I could finally fall asleep I couldn’t get comfortable etc. So here we are.

Work has been crazy with having to stay later due to late shoppers. I locked the doors and not only did we have five shoppers still in the store (one was a huge cart full of groceries) but several more people pulled in and tried to come in. The gas was the same way.

My parents have finally broken radio silence. Dad sent a one word text. “Migraine.” Mom sent me several random links and a brief complaint that Google won’t let her search for COVID symptoms. (This worries me on several levels.) I sent Dad my love and Mom my links to her query. So.

I am looking forward to getting out at 1pm today. Ten hour shifts when dealing with the public can be a bit much. Add a dash of freezers going down and a sprinkle of putting ignored stock out (no one put liquor away) it has been a crazy two days. Tomorrow I am a mere cashier. (Ha ha ha. Let’s see what I really end up doing.)

Stella got up for a bit with me this morning. She was my cuddle bug once we settled in after the storms had passed. She helped me yesterday morning and I helped her that night. (All my canine friends stopped by work to see me yesterday as well. Do I must’ve needed a lot of puppy love.😊)

I’d better wrap this up and get going for work. I appreciate all the positivity and love! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Life, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Stronger and Stronger

We have another heat advisory today. It’s already past 80F (26C)! The AC is going full on in the bedroom. Stella came out for a bit and laid outside. It’s just too hot for her. My anxiety has been kicking in all morning. I am trying all I can to tamp it down. It feels like if I let it lose to run its course it will be debilitating, and I still have another 10-hour shift in front of me. Stella is back out in the sun.

I can’t get my mind to focus. It wants to run all over the place and cause havoc. My body is working on its flight response. I can feel my heart racing. I don’t know what has set this off, but it needs to go away. I can’t call in because I am manager tonight.

I got the last three flats of plants from work yesterday. They were given to me. Chris laughed. But there are a lot of herbs and such so I can use them. I know there is catnip. I’m not sure what to do with that. I might plant that out back. Hang on… I turned the AC on in the living room and put Stella’s food away.

I am trying to breathe through this, but I can feel the cracks and the panic attack gets worse. I wish Moose was here. He always knew when something like this was happening and would be right there to comfort me. I am going to wrap this up and see if I can find something to do to change things. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Thinking, Writing

Easy Come, Easy Go

Mother Nature is not sure what she is doing this morning. There was a rumble of thunder not too long ago so I am pretty sure that Stella will not come out of the bedroom. Sometimes the sun is out fully, and you blink opening your eyes to thick clouds. The breeze has been steady. Since we did not get any rain last night as promised I will need to water all the plants outside once I finish this.

I got a huge piece of disappointment yesterday. My writing class got cancelled. I am so very disappointed. I got both a phone call and an email explaining things. I did get a full refund. I am still very bummed. I was hoping for feedback on what I had for my novel. But there it is. I feel like I am writing in a vacuum.

I did some research reading yesterday for my novel. More along the lines of the craft of writing versus a topic related to the novel. I wrote in my journal as well. I hadn’t written in there in almost a week. I will try to get that habit back.

I need to wrap this up. My wrist is not happy with using the laptop. It didn’t do well writing in my journal either. So I will give it a break. For now. There will be some heavy lifting at work (the cash drawers are not light and require two hands on a good day). Hopefully I will find out more about the liquor department manager position either today or tomorrow. Sorry, I keep staring off into space. I didn’t get any new photos so I will share some repeats. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, Exercise, family, Food, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Overcast With a Chance of Creativity

This morning I am finding it hard to find a place that doesn’t hurt. Last night I couldn’t eat the excellent dinner that Chris made us. Beef kabobs, rice, and asparagus. It looked so good. But for whatever reason my stomach started. I ended up in bed with a little bucket next to me. It pretty much lasted all night. My body was rebelling everything. Even water made me nauseous.

I do feel better this morning. I even got up extra early (I went to bed extra early). I am hoping to get some writing done as well as some yoga. It feels like a good time to bring that back into my life. Stella is on the love seat behind me dreaming of chasing something. Chipmunks and birds seem to be a focus lately. A bird flew in the house yesterday (flew right back out fortunately) and this morning as I was standing on the back porch a chipmunk ran right up next to me and sat. We have a lot of animals here, but the direct contact doesn’t happen often. It’s more observation.

For whatever reason I have been thinking of one of my best friends through school lately. (Those of you who are my long-time readers might remember a few years ago when I found out that she had commit suicide.) While I was lying in bed debating on actually getting up or not, I started remembering things we did together. We were very close. I still have several of the gifts she got me over the years. One of them is a small Paddington Bear. I had always been a Pooh Bear girl, and this was my first exposure to Paddington. (I never really loved orange marmalade until I was an adult though.) Anyway, I pulled Paddington off my desk in our bedroom as I came out here this morning. He is stanning to right of my laptop as I type this.

I don’t know what my plans today are. As much as I want to garden, I don’t know if my wrist is up for it (I sprained it Saturday at work). I have seeds that need to get in the ground. But before that can happen, I have to clean out the raised beds. My wrist is really starting to hurt with this small effort. I don’t think holding and shaking machine or pulling weeds will help. Using a pen probably won’t help either but it will be easier on the rest of my body.

The sun was out and shining when we got up but now it has become overcast. I might put my swing up again (a sure sign that it will rain). I am trying to get myself to write in other places of the house and yard. I have the table in the breakfast nook, a desk in our bedroom, a desk in my office, my little chair and bistro set on the back porch (apparently expensive since my hands tried to type “porsche”), my swing, the ground (I pull out my Minion quilt and we sit on it) and my big blue Adirondack chair. So far nothing out of the normal, that being here on the floor at the table, on the love seat or in bed. Today might be a good day to start that as well.

I see that this is becoming extra-long so I will stop here. A big thank you to everyone who has reached out to me. I really appreciate the support. As always thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Gardening, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Thinking, Writing

Busy Little Bee

I am hoping today goes smoothly. Oh snap! Hang on while I get my charger! My phone didn’t charge (even though it lit up like it was😡). Ok, I’m back. Stella is beside me snoozing.

I got a lot done yesterday. Dishes, planting, mowing… oh and trimming with the weed whacker, I ran out of energy before I got to the raised beds. That will have to be on my next day off. I got all the plants potted or put in the ground though. I had to go to the Dollar General and get some more pots though. The ones I had weren’t big enough for the plants I got. My timing was awesome though! Everything was on sale so I essentially got two free pots! I do need to get my seeds in as well. I might save some of them until next year though.

I treated myself to a Vincent Price movie on Shudder after my shower last night. It was The Haunted Palace. They combine the Poe poem and the story The Case of Charles Dexter Ward by H.P. Lovecraft. It was pretty good. I have loved Vincent Price since I was little so I will watch anything with him in it.

Ok, even though it is way early I am going to try to share some photos I took yesterday. I think I have enough time. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Music, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Following My Dreams…. Sort Of

This morning has been a bit of a slow roll. I let myself sleep in but when I got up, I attended to laundry, made coffee, cleaned a counter (I was going to do it later but…) and made Stella breakfast. I have been reading your various posts and contemplating class. I really like my teacher, but this class is not what it started out to be. With all the difficulties getting online to our Google group that everyone has had it has been a fiasco trying to learn anything beyond the basics. Everyone is more concerned with why and how to get into the group that they ask all those questions in class instead of ones about writing. Then there are the ones who came into this with no writing knowledge that want a template to write from. I feel as if I am the only one there to improve my writing. Everyone else seems to want to know how to do it. It is frustrating.

Hopefully we have a solution for next week. I will download everything onto a flash drive and bring it. Another classmate will bring his computer that we can hook up to the overhead and read our work from there. I would like a writing group again, but I honestly do not want to drive all the way to Traverse to do it. I might put something up at work. I don’t know. I miss having someone to talk shop with and be accountable to.

Today I need to get all my plants in the ground. I should plant my seeds too. I have been worried because it has gotten really cold at night. But today is the day. I also need to replace my one hose. It will not connect with my old one and not leak. And I need a long hose because my spigot is at the front of the house, and I need to water all my plants at the back.

Mowing the front and back is kind of on the table. Chris wants it done before we are supposed to get rain. There seems to be a slight chance tomorrow but my weather app (The Weather Channel no less) is notoriously wrong. It has been raining and it said it was sunny. No rain predicted (yet other weather apps other people had said there would be) and here we have rain. Or the opposite will happen. But I cannot find one I like. (Oh and my notifications are in Celsius but my app is Fahrenheit.)

I should wrap this up and get out to gardening. And writing. Oh! A smile story! So the other night when I closed the coworker working the gas window and I had been singing with the music (we had a good station on). All of the sudden “Y.M.C.A.” by the Village People comes on and we start doing the dance as we sing just really having fun. I turn around to check that no one is at the gas window needing our attention and I see that all the gas pumps are being used. AND everyone is doing the Y.M.C.A. dance with us! It was awesome! On that smile I will wrap this up. Thank you so much for your support and comments! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Early Morning Weirdness

Stella did the weirdest things this morning! When my alarm went off she was already up and had pushed the bathroom door open (my phone charges in there and the phone is my alarm). She was also pacing like she had to go out so I opened the door and out she went. When she came back in she actually ate breakfast. Once that was done she popped herself right back in bed with Chris.🤔

We didn’t get much sleep as I had to do laundry and shower after work. But it was an earlier night than the night before so I am grateful. I also got praise from the store owner yesterday. My check was extra big because I got a bonus for all my hard work with the plant sale. And I was encouraged to go for the liquor manager position if I still want it. It seems I am the top candidate! That being said all the applicants will be talked to over the next week or so before any choices are made. So I am feeling pretty good about things at work.😊

Even though the sun is almost completely up (if feels so weird because it’s so early) the time feels off. When I get home this afternoon I need to get my last page written and submitted for class. It is gonna be a process because I will have to submit it via my phone. Long story (ha ha). I see by the clock that I need to get myself together for work. Sorry for repeat photos. I haven’t had time to take any new ones. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Looking at the Bright and Right

Looking at my paycheck this week last week was almost worth it. I will be able to catch up on a few things as well as take care of some purchases that I need to do. Simple things like jeans and shorts for work (I currently have a pair of each) and a pair of boots (my current loves are coming apart from the inside out).

The sun is out and the temperature is mild. I was gifted a bunch of plants last night as well as two broken bags of dirt so I want to get as many plants in the ground as I can. Well, pots. I think some of the plants will go into the memorial garden at the base of the tree as well. I got some unusual herbs as well as some common ones to grow. Once again I am trying a tomato plant. For whatever reason I can’t seem to grow tomatoes.

I got a page and a half written yesterday before work. I decided to put forth my novel in class instead of writing something new. The hard part is that I have several novel beginnings to choose from. I got almost a full page in when I discovered a more recent novel start that I think will be better suited. The problem is pulling all the information from all the starts together. I am also worried that some of my classmates might not like the genre so I might get some harsh critics because of that. I guess we’ll see. So the big question is do I finish that last half page today or tomorrow? I should do it today since I need to upload it onto out class page. But I am not sure if I will have enough time for all of it (I have to save the document, send it via email, upload it… oh and write that last half page). Yesterday I got called in early. Tomorrow I get out early so I will have time to get things together before class. I need to figure out a better writing schedule. Leaving all this last minute means no one really gets to read much before class. And I know that I haven’t read anyone else’s stuff. Maybe it is a good thing I don’t belong to a writer’s group. So much gets going on lately. It feels like I barely have time to breathe. And when I do try then I feel guilty because there is so much that needs to be done.

Stella actually got up with me this morning. With the nice weather she has been in and out of the house. She is also bored. Unlike Essie and Moose she will probably stay inside when I go out to putter in the gardens. Speaking of which I need to wrap this up of I am going to get anything else done before work. How dare I try to get some sleep and have a life! I will leave you with a few photos of my new plants. The potted plant that is all leaves is a hydrangea. Oh and the little bird on the grass? A woodpecker! Thanks for reading and stay safe!