Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

A Monday Muddler

Mother Nature seems to have remembered which season we are supposed to be in. The temps are barely in the double digits and we seem to have gotten several inches of snow over night. Yay. With the windchill it is even colder. I have pulled Stella’s hoodie out and left it by the door. Archie doesn’t seem to need anything. He just naturally runs hot.

Yesterday morning was slow enough that I worked on plans for various things at work. I mocked up flyers and printed recipes. I also tried to come up with other ideas. I have a feeling that if my big event goes well I am going to be expected to do a quick video clip to post. I am ok behind the camera but not in front of it. So we’ll see.

Three more days. I came home wiped out last night. I had a hard time staying awake til my appropriate time. I kept falling asleep. I am hoping that the night goes fast. Well, the next three days to be honest. If I can get all my tills counted I should be able to get out at a decent time. I am hoping before 10pm. I plan to bring bones in before I leave for Chris to give to the pups when he leaves. Hopefully that will help with me not being home.

I need to water my plants again. It is so dry in the house that most of them need to be watered twice a week or they start looking all shriveled. I also have adopted six more plants. They are succulents and small plants. I plan to put two to a pot. I also hope to get repotting done as well. I might leave a little early Wednesday so I can go pick the stuff up. I really don’t want to have to leave the house on my days off. I can spread out a tarp or something and get everyone repotted on my days off. I should probably think about starting my seeds. When we get closer to being able to plant outside I will start some of the seeds in egg shells again. Not all of the seeds like the egg shell idea so I will have to be choosy. I also need to start planning what is going to be happening in my gardens this year. I need to make a serious effort instead of the usual fit-it-in-when-I-can that normally happens. Especially if I am putting up my greenhouse.

I am going to wrap this up and ger it posted. Thank you everyone for reaching out. And as always, thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

The Struggle Bus

It’s going to be rough going today. An anxiety attack hit before I even turned out the light to go to sleep. So I tossed and turned til around 3am when I finally fell asleep. I don’t remember any of my dream, but I do remember not being happy when I woke up. Every little thing that goes wrong (and it feels like there are a lot already) gets under my skin. Four more days to go…

The weather here is a bitter cold with the wind. The kind that freezes you to your core. I am grateful we only have a small amount of the snow that usually goes with. And the lack of sun this winter is disconcerting. That is putting everyone on edge.

I am trying to find something positive to write about instead of talking about the negative. Archie is doing well. He and Stella keep each other busy. I just covered Stella with a blanket. She hunkered in and sighed. Archie is currently chewing a bone. Mostly he is being quiet.

I should wrap this up and head to work. Thanks for the support! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Creating

My mind has determined that it is Saturday. We know it’s only Friday but my mind is running by a different calendar apparently. Both pups are curled up behind me asleep. Despite of (or because of) good sleep last night I still feel like I am sorely lacking sleep.

Archie did the smartest thing this morning! On an average work morning my alarm is set for 5am. I try to wake a few minutes before my alarm so I can make sure I turn it off so I don’t wake Chris. This morning, Archie gets out of bed and pushes the bathroom door open then goes out into the living room. I thought maybe he needed to go outside but then I looked at the clock. It was almost 5am. He thought it was time to get up. When he came back to see where I was I explained that I could sleep in a little today so he hunkered back in bed.

I have all but given up trying to keep him quiet. It just isn’t going to happen. So I try to make sure he doesn’t do as much…. Like launching himself over the couch (did I mention he can jump?) or rough house too much with Stella. They both usually listen when I tell them to chill. Usually.

Work is becoming interesting. I threw out a few ideas to boost sales in two of my departments. The store owner gave thumbs up to all of them. So it is up to me to start the ball rolling. And the store owner also has suggested making a few video clips for our various media outlets. So. We’ll see.

I’d better get things moving here. Thanks for reading and stay safe! And thanks for all the great comments!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Automotive, Books, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Puzzling It Out

This morning both pups are on the loveseat behind me. The morning has dawned dark. The weather zones for my state seem to have reversed this year. Normally up north here we get all the snow and cold for the winter. Lately, the southern end of the state has had all the fun. And they are welcome to it! We have had some snow and bitter cold to be sure but nothing like what is normal for us.

Mom and I talked for a few hours yesterday. She is so bored but doesn’t want to do anything. I mostly listened. We want to get together, but I need to make sure the car is ok first. That is all I need is the car breaking down in Traverse. But I am excited to give her her gifts. I think she will really like them,

The Girls did come over for a little while yesterday. It was good to see them again. We want to plan a girls’ day soon. I am going to push for the middle of February or so. I know that our anniversary is coming up but one of them is also going in for surgery at the end of the month. I think it would help to get us all together before then.

I read a little bit on a story idea but then I called Mom so really no writing got done yesterday. I haven’t been very good about that lately. Too much going on. I will have to figure out when to make time as my work week progresses. I am a bit disappointed in myself but to be honest I have tried. I just seem to sit and stare at the page as my mind goes over everything that is unrelated. After about 30 minutes of fighting myself, I just put my pen down.

My days off seemed to go so fast. Everything seems to go so fast anymore. I need to do bills today before work as well. I should call my mechanic to see about getting Angus in. But I won’t be able to until the end of next week. And that check needs to go to my car payment. We’ll see I guess. I will message him and see what he suggests.

I think I will wrap this up and try to get something done around here. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Automotive, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Back Home

A late post since I didn’t really fall asleep until after 5am. Archie is right back to his old self. Which means I am all over the place. Keeping him from playing and running around is near impossible. A side effect of his anesthetic is excessive whining. And he did. He paced and whined. Til around 7pm. For a while I think he was afraid to fall asleep. He finally fell asleep in my lap. All 88 lbs (40 kilos) of him. This morning it is like nothing happened. They want him to wear the cone of shame but he probably won’t. For one thing he hasn’t really bothered the area and for another he will destroy more of the house with it on. He is not the most agile pup right now. I hate that I have to work three nights next week. I don’t want him getting into things. I keep telling myself that it is just for that week. And I will end up with over time. Those three days are going to be atleast 10 hour days and I will still have two more days to work that week. I hope that will allow me to get the car in for possible repairs.

Mother Nature has decided it is winter again. The snow started coming down hard last night and left about an inch of snow. Right now it is snowing pretty steadily. The size of the flakes waxes and wanes. I am glad I can stay home today. I am weary of going all over the place on my time off. I have not heard from either parent in several weeks. Whenever I try to talk with Dad he doesn’t feel good (migraine etc) but tries to act like I am never available (sorry, I love you, but I work). Mom is still having issues with her phone. She is also not happy with me because she has freaked out because she can’t get her text messages to work with me and starts calling and calling til I answer. Then gets upset because I can’t talk because I am at work. The last time she did that I pointed out that I had called and left a message telling her that I would be at work so if she called back I probably would not answer. Four phone calls later (one after the other) I answered and told her I could not talk and that I had left a message. She was not happy with me. So there we are.

I have no idea what to do today. I did get the bird feeder filled and the plants watered. I also sprayed them with old milk. I was reading one of my gardening books and she recommended using expired milk diluted with water to get rid of bug issues on plants. It also gives them nutrients that they need but might not be getting. I did that and my plants look all the happier for it. I sprayed their leaves.

I had better get this posted. Oh and happy side note… the vet bill was less than the lowest quote for his surgery and shots. So YAY! Thanks for reading and thank you for all the love and support for Archie. He sends puppy kisses and snuggles! Stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Food, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Thinking, Writing

And We Wait

It was one of the hardest things to do to leave Archie at the vet’s office this morning. I keep telling myself he will be ok but the way January is…. I just don’t trust it. So I am biding my time until 2:30pm when I can go get him. I took the earliest possible time. Stella has wadded herself up behind me on the love seat. I don’t knw how she managed to get the blanket so tight around herself. She is sound asleep.

I was worried about icy roads on the way in this morning. We, thankfully, had no issues. But I will probably leave early to go get him because I miss him and am worried. Everyone has been very understanding of my craziness lately. I am forever grateful. A coworker got me a bouquet of tulips that I wanted. I loved the colors but I decided against getting them because I needed the money for Archie. While I was busy dealing with a cooler that had gone down he got them for me. I did my best not to cry. It was a near thing.

I think I will make Chris breakfast if he wants this morning (or rather this afternoon). He’s not feeling well and I need to make sure I take care of him. He made us dinner last night even though he didn’t feel good. And he has had the patience of a saint this past month while I have tried to deal with all this crap going on. He needs to be taken care of too.

A bunch of friends from work are checking on me. Bless them. I am going to try writing today. I haven’t really done anything with my novel. Not even looked at my research materials. I also need to see about pulling that interview together. At the very least I want to print her responses to my questions. That way I have a paper trail.

I spent a bit messaging with my cousins last night. We have our own private chat outside of the normal family one. I don’t feel the need to include everyone in our conversations. But both are coping since their Mom’s death. My one cousin is quietly going through her Mom’s stuff trying to simultaneously clean out her Mom’s stuff and pack up to move. But all in all they are moving forward. It is hard to believe it has been two weeks already. One week since the funeral.

I guess I will wrap this up and try to keep myself distracted. I will try to include a photo of the tulips I got. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Gardening, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Spinning and Spinning

Both pups are curled up on the loveseat. Archie goes in tomorrow morning for his surgery. I am not looking forward to it. I hope I can get him early in the afternoon but I don’t know. We will be at the new building for our vet. Every time I woke up this morning I was trying to make sure I gave us enough time to get there but not too much time once we got up. I plan to get up and let the kids out to go potty then head to the vet’s soon after. Once I come back I will feed Stella and write this. And wait.

The Girls were going to stop by Monday before work (I still need to give them their last gift) but I asked if they would mind Tuesday instead. I don’t want to have to head out as soon as they get here to go get Archie (possibly).

I would give a lot for time off at this point. I am wondering if I would be able to do that some time soon. I hate using vacation time so soon into the new year but…. I just need some time to not be crazy for a bit. We’ll see how things go next two days off.

I do have one interview done for the upcoming Women of Horror issue of Horror Tree. And I am grateful to say that she is a well known author (atleast in horror) that is married to another well known horror author. I am friends with her husband on Facebook and asked him to relay the request for me. And she said yes!😍 I need to get that printed and saved on my laptop (originally we celebrated Women of Horror in February but there is concern with it clashing with Black History Month so it has been pushed to March).

I need to wrap this up and get to work. Thanks for reading and thank you from the bottom of my heart for the love and support these past few weeks. Stay safe.

Animals, anxiety, Automotive, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Not a Happy Camper

Apparently all my complaining is helping. When I went back to check my stock and back-stock after my deliveries yesterday everything was actually where it needed to be. I was able to thank the guys as well.

Yesterday got harder as the day went on. It doesn’t help that I will only have one day essentially off and at home in two weeks, give or take. It is for a good cause and the store manager told me about it. But it will be hard. I will worry about the dogs as well because not only will I be working my normal days off but I will be closing.

I don’t want to go to work. I am stressing too much. And my heart hurts. So far my car has had no change. But I still need brakes and engine work done. I don’t think the fridge has turned off since I’ve been home from work. I think that might need to be replaced soon. I still need to get Chris an anniversary gift. That is coming up soon. No idea where all this money is going to come from.

Sorry all my posts seem to be downbeat. I can only fake it for so long. I hope you have a great day. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Trying

Today it has been one year since we lost Essie. Having Archie helps a lot but… Just too much death this month.

I did manage more than 30 minutes of sleep last night. The down side it that it was even harder to get up because my body was enjoying its hard earned sleep. I am just glad that I have a short day today.

My body aches from doing stock and moving cases of beer. Once again things were just put wherever. So I redid everything again. The nice thing is the store owner now knows about it so hopefully something will get done. I helped put the truck away since we were pretty dead and I don’t like just standing (or sitting) around. I was able to keep myself extra busy because I cleaned up the shelves as I went.

Today… today I just want to stay home with my family. I don’t want to deal with people. In a perfect world I could go back to bed and then putter in my gardens when I got up (I did say perfect world, we have a new layer of snow). I did get my violet repotted. She seems to be ok. I am just worried because I did not realize she was overwatered in her old pot (I stick my finger under the leaves and check the soil before I water my plants so I’m not sure what I did), so when I gently shook her loose to repot her the main root just broke. It was about as thick as one of my fingers. As I said she seems ok. I will keep an eye on her.

The clock tells me I need to wrap this up and head to work. Thanks for reading and stay safe.

anxiety, Creativity, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Hoping For the Best But…..

Oh please let this shift go fast! I am on about 30 minutes of sleep today. Nothing I did helped. Either my mind kept me awake or my body. I really should’ve stayed home yesterday. I had no business being out with that headspace. I don’t know if today will be much better.

My liquor order did not arrive yesterday. The wine order did. When I called to ask where it was I was informed that it would be arriving a day late due to Monday’s holiday. Why didn’t it have that on the site when I ordered? Why did the wine arrive and not my liquor? It is from the same company.

I had to redo a lot with both the beer cave and back stock (once again I forgot a photo, sorry). They are back to shoving product wherever. Beer is never to be stacked directly on the floor. I had four stacks. There are empty spots in the beer cave and on my display. Apparently they decided to put whatever product they had a lot of in those spots. Those spots are not just for random fills. There is actually stuff that goes there. I also got a bunch of new stuff (that no one mentioned I was getting) that I had to find room for. There was a lot of swearing on my part.

My coworkers did try to take care of me. I received two painted rocks that had been found around the store and I got some candy and a fun little Minion toy. For the most part I kept to myself. I wore the ribbon from my Aunt’s funeral as well. I plan to wear it again today.

I can hear ice bits hitting the windows. It should be an interesting day weather-wise. I know a lot of people came in to get things so they wouldn’t have to go out today. There is a chance we could be very slow. I only hope I can make it through and that tonight I actually can get some sleep. Thanks fir reading and stay safe.