Aging, Animals, anxiety, Automotive, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Food, Gardening, Learning, Life, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Travel, Writing


One day closer. Archie is on his dog bed chewing a bone. Stella is behind me asleep beneath a blanket on the love seat. Mother Nature gave us several inches of heavy wet snow last night. Today she is supposed to warm things up and give us rain. Depending on which weather person you listen to. I am merely hoping the main roads are clean so that I can make it to Elk Rapids and back safely.

I hate everyone walking on egg shells around me. I try very hard to keep the anger out but some little thing will go wrong and I snap. And the harder I try to control it the worse it is when I snap. So I try to keep everyone at a distance. I am going to have to tell them that they shouldn’t even ask me anymore to work extra shifts. My mental health turns rancid.

Mom’s birthday is coming up. It is Monday. I might try to go into Traverse 1. assuming I have the day off and 2. assuming she is still speaking to me. We butted heads last night because she tried to call me and I was at work. I explained that to her and then had to reexplain why I was at work. She remembered nothing of our previous conversation (which included a rant about my job and long hours). And I was the bad guy because I pointed out that I had already told her all this. This did not help things at my end any more than it did at hers.

So we’ll see how things go. It sounds like there will be random give aways at the tasting this afternoon. Atleast I will be fed. I have told everyone at work to make sure I am out the door by 1:30pm to make sure I get to Elk Rapids in time. It sounds like most of the managers don’t really want to go. This isn’t the first time we have dealt with Spartan/Nash but they want to show us their wares. And it breaks up the monotony of the day at work.

I ought to wrap this up. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Automotive, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Travel, Writing


The wind has been tossing the tree tops around like a juggler. We are slated to get freezing rain today. I hope not but who knows anymore. I just hope the wind doesn’t blow out the furnace. I worry about the pups while I am at work. Tomorrow will be crazy enough without slippery roads. The tasting tomorrow is only supposed to take an hour but I don’t know I will get introduced to “Sue” while I am there or not. She is the person I am supposed to be helping put together a newsletter from the Elk Rapids store. Honestly I am not too keen on it as the last time I put all that time into it and it just got left. I asked for input and I got none.

Mom was blowing up my phone because I hadn’t responded to a text she sent after I went to bed. The fact that I had to get up at 4am didn’t seem to matter. Then when I also explained that I was working 10 days in a row so I might not respond right away she went off on that. I tried to explain that I did it to myself by agreeing to cover for a coworker that had a family emergency. I have yet to receive a response. I know her heart is in the right spot, but I really don’t have the energy to defend all this. I am trying my best to get through it. It is hard keeping the negative feelings out. I feel guilty because I just want to be left alone and everyone (especially Chris) is trying to be there for me. I am even snapping at the dogs.

I still need to water plants and shower before work. I meant to shower when I got home yesterday but I just didn’t have the energy. I stayed up as late as I could last night but still ended up awake at 7am. But I guess that will give me enough time to get things done around here before work. Geez…. I am watching the snow blow horizontally from east to west out there. The tops of the trees (and the bottom in some instances) are whipping around like screaming fans at a rock concert.

I am going to try to add some new photos. I have a second bloom opening on my cactus. I did want to share that. So I’d best get to it. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Cooking/Baking, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Food, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Travel, Writing


Normally today I would type “just one most shift” but today I find myself typing “just five more shifts.” 😳 I can sleep in the next three days. Let’s start there. (Oh and I just realized that even though I have next weekend off I will still have to go in Sunday morning at 5:30. I have to let the deli people in and, more to the point, I have to do my liquor order.)

Both pups are on the love seat sleeping. They are in almost a heart shaped head to head. They have been very good the past few days. Here’s to hoping that continues. I’ve told them I have to work on my days off. I have gotten treats as well.

Everything has been arranged for Tuesday as well. Around 1:30pm I will head out to Elk Rapids for the hour long tasting then go back to my store and finish my shift. Fortunately I am not manager that day so that makes things a little easier.

I think I have my food planned for my Oberon event. I have also talked to the deli manager to make sure I can cook there instead of at home and haul everything to the store. I am excited about the menu so far.

Fudge…. I just looked at the clock. I need to wrap this up. Thanks fir reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Here and There

Grrrrr… nothing like being exhausted and then finding out I could’ve gotten an extra hour of sleep. But it is too late to remedy the situation. This morning I have both pups at my back. Not much traffic outside though. That is due to the fact that the weather we were supposed to get Wednesday arrived late yesterday. It was just a steady snow for hours. When Stella hit me up to go out around 2:30am the backyard looked untouched. And I know there was a lot of running around out there before bed.

Yesterday had a slow start (everyone was staying home) and when I left I had to get my car out of a 1/4 inch (.65cm) of ice. I don’t expect us to be that busy today. All our deliveries were on time yesterday. But today might be a different story. I did get to meet and talk with another one of my reps yesterday. We looked my beer cave over and I picked some new rtds (ready to drink) beverages for the Spring.

I guess I ought to get myself together. One of my friends should be coming back from visiting her son soon. She said she has started her sober journey so a bunch of us have gotten together to give her a nice homecoming. It will be good to see her again. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Stormy Head

Between the weather and lack of sleep I have the most exquisite headache. Archie got up with me but Stella is still in bed. I think this is why I don’t nap well.

The snow is still falling. What were footprints in the snow a mere few hours ago are now barely dents. The furnace is almost constantly on. It is a day you just want to hunker under the covers and sleep until Spring. The storm warning has been extended to 7pm tonight.

Oh damn. I just realized that on top of everything else I have to work until 3pm. Which means I won’t see Chris unless he stops by work before he heads out to his work. That extra hour is going to be difficult today. Especially if this headache doesn’t let up.

I was busy pretty much the whole time yesterday. I didn’t get home until after 10:30pm last night. I have no idea if any of our deliveries are going to arrive. If it is slow I might spend time in the beer cave and see what needs to be moved around. I had one of my new vendors stop by last night and I think I might be having another event at the end of May with the help of one of our local breweries. Fingers crossed!

I need to get this posted and head out. Looks like we still have internet. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Gardening, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, the World, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Weather or Not

It has begun. If we get all the snow we are supposed to you may or may not see a post for tomorrow. We are supposed to get upwards of a foot (30cm) in the next 24 hours. I expect our deliveries at work will be off atleast a day. The only reason we would close is lack of staff. We’ll see what happens. We have been running a skeleton crew anyway.

Stella is still in bed. I find that interesting since she was trying to get me up at 7am. Archie is asleep behind me on the love seat. He enjoys the snow. I think he is the only one of us that does. He’ll play for hours out there running around and exploring. I am thinking about setting up a play area for him. Stella as well but mostly him because he will entertain himself by running and jumping and just nosing around. Stella is more of an interactive player. She wants someone to play with her.

Not much got done yesterday. Dishes, Stella’s nails got trimmed, toys got picked up. I have been reading Joe Hill’s The Fireman the past two days. I got it from Mom and have been waiting to read it since I ha some many other books going. So far so good. It’s from 2016 and has a pandemic. Normally I am not a fan of these kinds of stories. I don’t like “The Walking Dead” either. But this one caught my attention and I am enjoying it so far. It’s also the author’s favorite book that he has written.

I am continually looking out the windows watching the snow come down. I am just grateful I don’t have to drive all the way into Traverse anymore. Several people from work (including the owner) are coming back from vacation and flying in tomorrow. I wonder how many people will have delayed flights. And there goes a plow truck.

I supposed I will get this posted and start getting ready for work. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, Reading, Thinking, Writing


Parts of my back have flared up, badly. The muscle beneath aches and the skin feels like it is burning off. Good times! The temps have dropped (again) and we got enough snow over night to turn everything white (again). The wind is really blowing as well. What’s creepy is that the trees will be bent sideways with the wind, the next time you look all is immobile. Not a breeze to be felt.

Not much got done yesterday. I used it as a day of rest. I did water the plants. They are doing very well. My agave plant now has seven babies crammed into her pot. I need to repot all of them. But I am nt sure where I would put them right now. So I leave them in and hope for the best. If I can get my greenhouse put up this Spring that will open up more room for over the Winter. I have a few ideas I am exploring since it will be starting as a very basic greenhouse. Chris has put forward some very good suggestions as well. I am very excited about the whole thing.

I don’t know what will get done if my back doesn’t stop. I will atleast get the basics done, dishes and laundry. Last night just before bed I had a bad anxiety flare up. I manage to get things calmed down enough to fall asleep. Barely.

Some cool news though! My friend and I are going to the one day writer’s conference again this Spring! I went through and picked out what I wanted to attend. Some of them are the lesser of two evils. There are several sessions to choose from that do not interest me in the least. But I am paying for them and maybe if I learn about something else I can use it to fuel my own creative endeavors.

The second cool thing is that I won a contest on my horror app. It is called “Slasher” and is dedicated to everything in the horror genre. It is Facebook for horror fans. What is awesome about it is that everyone just becomes good friends. Nobody is pegged as weird or creepy because they like horror. We just share things we love and support each other. I have been on it from the start and it is awesome to watch it grow and flourish! Anywho, I entered a random contest on there the other day and I got a message that I won! Giggity! Other fun things we do on there have been a Secret Santa (the person that runs this incorporates various holidays so we’ve done it for other holidays besides Christmas), random give aways by both the app creator (who stays very involved in the group) and other app users…. It’s just a fun place to hang out. We dry each other’s tears and encourage as best we can. (Several people have finally been able to leave abusive relationships while others have fund people that understand what they are going through with their depression… did I mention a lot of friendships have been made on here?)

I guess I ought to get this posted. I might curl up with a book. I finished Kane Hodder’s autobiography yesterday so I can pick up something new off my shelves. I do have a few new titles that I haven’t started yet. Or I can get one of my writing books out and delve into that. Maybe one of each? Anyway, thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Taking Time

Sorry for the late post. I decided to sleep in. Yesterday at work I was pretty much going nonstop once I got in the door. So when I got home I was pooped. That being said it felt good to chill in front of the tv for a bit. Chris got me a video game for one of the systems. It is “Friday the 13th” and is based on the movies. Aaaand since Kane Hodder was used as the Jason in the game I was really excited to see what was what. I am not a gamer by any means. Once in a blue moon I will pick up a controller to game. After a long day there was something a bit relaxing about being able to play Jason Voorhes. You can play a camp counselor as well (I’ll get there, just not yet). Both types of characters have some pretty cool stuff going for them. So, we’ll see what happens.

Both pups are behind me trying to sleep. I say tries because Archie will stretch out and squish Stella more. He is using her as a pillow. I was the pillow last night. He is a big cuddle bug. Something had him spooked earlier out back. He wouldn’t leave the porch. He just stood and stared. When he wanted me to see he got his deep soft woof, but he did not take his eyes off the distance. It was weird. I couldn’t see anything or hear anything. I sniffed the air and didn’t smell anything odd or out of place. But I sat there with him for a few minutes trying to see what he saw. No joy.

I have today and tomorrow off. I am back to my regular routine. Today will include getting the plants watered. It is dry enough in the house that Mondays and Thursdays I need to water the plants. Normally it is just Thursdays. I can’t wait for Spring when I can start pulling the plants outside and get my gardens going. It is going to take a lot of work but I am going to try to such it up this year and just keep at the gardens every day. There is enough to do that I should be able to just keep going from garden to garden. I need to start my seeds soon. But I don’t have enough room once they start to take off to keep them like I did last year. So I’m kind of dragging my feet.

All the snow we got the other day is all but gone with the warmer temps and strong winds. That being said the temps have dropped like a rock so what was left has frozen solid. The forecast keeps bouncing around so who knows what Mother Nature has up her sleeve.

I should get this up. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, Cooking/Baking, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Food, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Writing

Going Italian

Aaaaaand here we are at o’dark thirty. Both pups are asleep behind me, despite getting in trouble before bed for destroying yet another pillow.

We made our first batch of homemade pasta together last night! It was a lot more complicated than I first thought. If I followed Gordon Ramsey’s recipe it would’ve taken a lot long than it did. He said to roll things through 10 times on each setting. I have I think 8 on the new pasta machine. 😳

I had planned on making the first batch myself but when the dough was rolling out longer than I could hold I had to have help. It was a fun mess to make together. And to be fair the ravioli didn’t turn it too bad. Now that I know what to do I can plan things a little better. Like the ricotta inside the raviolis can be spiced differently and the boil time can be different.

There is some of the dough leftover so maybe spaghetti or another type of pasta tonight. We do have some meatballs…

Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Cooking/Baking, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Food, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, Reading, Thinking, Writing

Looking For a Way

Yesterday did not go exactly as planned. There were a few blips but all in all a good day. My concern is with Mom. She told us via text not to come over because her arthritis was acting up and she was crabby. Ok, we can do that. So we went out to dinner and got a few groceries for today (I’m making ravioli from scratch) and came home. Around 10pm she starts sending me text messages asking where we are and if we are ok. This morning I got several phone messages asking if we were ok. I sent numerous text messages to her last night saying that we were fine and at home. I don’t know if she did not get them??? I don’t know what to do. Dad is the same way. He never seems to “receive” me text messages or emails. If I try calling either of them I get put to voicemail more often than not. They freak out and think that I am not making an effort to keep in touch but I am. I just don’t know anymore.

I did not sleep well at all last night. I tried. This morning everything hurts and my anxiety is through the roof. So now I need to try to talk myself off the ledge. Chris’s gift seems to be on the move finally. It is in Wisconsin. I ordered him another gift off his Amazon list yesterday. It should be here Tuesday. I believe that is the same day he can go get his desktop for his man cave. I am excited to see his new gaming desk come together.

I got two sweet books that I wanted. The first one is called “Ocean” and it is like a guidebook to everything regarding the ocean. Not in depth on any one topic but enough to keep you safe. It’s hard to explain. But if you love the ocean I highly recommend it. It has the basics on sailing, surfing, survival, fishing, science, scuba and snorkeling….. The full title is “The Ocean The Ultimate Handbook of Nautical Knowledge” and it is written by Chris Dixon and Jeremy K. Spencer. The second book I got was “Supernatural The Men of Letters Bestiary, The Winchester Family Edition.” Now I have a version of this that is smaller that I received in one of my Supernatural boxes. I took it off my wish list but apparently Amazon put it back on. Regardless, I am excited to have it. I need to find a space to house my growing Supernatural books.

I purchased an extension cord yesterday as well. I plan to hook my scarecrow back up in the garage today. It was comforting to come home to him every day. For the past few months he has been in a heap on the garage floor. Time to resurrect him!

I am going to wrap this up and get it posted. Thanks for reading and stay safe!