Books, Creativity, Emotions, family, Friends, Life, Reading, Writing

Reading Leads to Writing

I did get some writing done on one of my stories yesterday.  I am rereading a series that I have not read in many years, Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles.  I had forgotten how her words and stories flow carrying the reader from the past to present and back again effortlessly.  It gave me some more creative juice to use on my own work.  So for now during the day I will read Anne Rice and at night I seem to got to H.P. Lovecraft on my Kindle.  Both authors have a lot to teach with their writing.  Both can tell a good story (it may take Lovecraft more words to do it sometimes).  Rice paints her worlds and characters with a loving and lavish brush to make them come to life.  I can lose myself in either author’s stories.

Today’s goal is to be able to work more on one or both of my stories.  I have to say that I am having an easier time with the one that has horror in it.  I am not very adept at the straight fiction anymore.  It is easier to lose myself to the supernatural.  Which is evidenced by my library, lol.  I have limited straight fiction.  Looking at my book shelves I am tempted to reorganize them and have a section of the classics.  That would include such works as King Solomon’s Mines (one of my favorites), Frankenstein, Alice in Wonderland, The Wizard of Oz (I am trying to get all the books) and other such gems from the past.  I have things divided into topics such as horror, mystery, research, children’s books, creativity and writing… you get the idea.  Other shelves are dedicated to specific authors like Anne Rice and Stephen King.  I do have to say that I love my library.  There are only a handful of books that I have not read in all of them.  Most of them have been read more than once.  Sometimes for pleasure, sometimes for examination and sometimes for a bit of both.  Right now the Vampire Chronicles are a bit of both.

I find myself drawn to different books and I am remembering when I received them.  I have the Chronicles of Narnia that Mom bought me when I was going on the road trip with my Grandma Morin for the summer.  She bought me the whole series to take with as well as a beach towel, a deck of cards (I still have those as well), sunscreen and a few other goodies.  I have A Ring of Endless Light by Madeline L’Engle that Dad got me (with a loving note from him written on the inside) because I loved reading it in the school library.  There is a book of love letters that Chris got me for an anniversary present (the same on he had flowers delivered to my work and I cried my eyes out).  I even have Dad’s copy of the complete works of Edgar Allen Poe (Dad memorized The Raven while he was on a ship in the Navy and that was the first thing I learned to read… and I still have the children’s book we read it from).  Sooo many memories on these shelves!

Goodness I have gone on!  Sorry about that!  I will stop here because I could go on endlessly!  lol.  Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Life, Movies, Nature, Photography, Writing

Cloud Watching

This morning my thoughts are a grey as the skies.  Essie won’t eat which means she hasn’t had her medicine.  I still haven’t received my money from the 401K so the vet bill is still unpaid.  I am concerned that Essie does indeed have cancer and that her time with us is more limited than we think.  It is not me being negative.  It is me watching her and her habits.  I’ve not voiced this to anyone here because I would get the talk about being more positive.  I’m not sure how long til we get the results from Essie’s biopsy.  Maybe as late as next week.

We slept later this morning.  Mostly due to us being up late.  We would’ve been in bed by 10pm but when I went to close the sliding glass door I noticed that I could see stars which meant that the clouds from earlier had gone.  Sooooo I decided to wander out and see if I could see the comet.  And lo! there it was just over the house.  So then I had to get the binoculars to see how well I could actually see it.  Well by the time all was said and done it was going on midnight.  The kids really wanted me to go to bed but they wanted to make sure I was ok outside.  Moose and Essie came out alternately with me while I was star gazing.  My patient puppies!

I watched two movies I hadn’t seen for years yesterday.  The first was “Sleuth” with Lawrence Olivier and Michael Caine.  The second was “Deathtrap” with Michael Caine, Christopher Reeve and Dyane Cannon.  I enjoyed watching both of them.  Sadly we had no popcorn but that’s ok.

The sun is trying to come out.  That will bump up  the humidity which I am ok with but I am in the minority.  I am going to try to get some work done on my stories.  Since I seem to be willing to do it mentally I’d better do it while I can.  I will leave you with some photos I took yesterday around sunset.  The one cloud formation reminded me of Godzilla, one of my favorite childhood “monsters” (I never thought of Godzilla as a monster and I always thought that Godzilla was a she because of baby Godzilla).  Anyway thanks so much for reading and your awesome comments!  Stay safe and have a great day!

Animals, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Gardening, Guitar, Learning, Life, Nature, Thinking, Writing

Evaluations

Moose is gently snoring on the floor behind me.  I am in my office waiting for the rain to fall.  We had a storm last night.  Poor Stella hid in the bathroom for a bit while Essie curled up closer to me.  Moose did not care.  He just laid his head on me and went back to sleep.

I have no idea what to do today.   I didn’t do much yesterday beyond keep an eye on Essie.  I take that back.  I got my custom made leather bag (I ordered this way back in April) in the mail yesterday.  I sorted through and packed it with some necessities and am trying to get used to having it.  It’s quite beautiful.  I also planted a white onion that had sprouted as well as a few garlic cloves that had sprouted.  We’ll see how they do.  It was good timing with the rain.\

I still haven’t done my class work.  I need to do it or cancel the class.  I go great guns then stall out.  I pulled out my guitar and tuned it the other day.  And it is still sitting here in the office unplayed.  Chris loaned me a guitar stand so it is up off the floor.  It all sounds good and fun until it comes to the execution of the project.  Then I stall out.

I think I will make pasta salad for later.  If I do it now it ill have time to cool in the fridge instead of wasting all those ice cubes to cool it in a few minutes.  I’m not sure what to do about the funeral Friday.  I might ask Chris to borrow his truck.  I don’t know if the Jeep will be up to it.  Hell, I don’t know if I am up to it.  But that is the day after tomorrow.  I have a local meeting tomorrow night.  Truthfully I don’t want to do it.  But the flip side is that once I am there I will be fine with it.  It is the thought of leaving the house.  Chris is not going to work Thursday so he can stay home with Essie while I am at the meeting.

I’ve not written any reviews.  I’ve not worked on either novel.  The dogs are restless and so am I.  Nothing interests me.  I usually end up reading or watching tv.  I am currently binge watching The X-files.  We are well into season 8.  I just can’t find anything to hold my interest.

The coffee is almost empty so I will rap this up.  Thanks for reading.  Stay safe.

Animals, Dogs, Emotions, family, Life

A Quick Update

Mentally I feel better but physically I am exhausted.  Essie is home and happy.  I have to check her gums every hour to two hours (yes I set an alarm for this all through the night last night) and she has three more meds to take.  I have to also check her incision to make sure that all is healing and not bleeding.  She is also to be kept quiet.  Ha ha ha.  At night I take her out to go potty on a leash but she is pretty quiet during the day.

What they removed was about .5lbs and she looks like she should with all the frisbee she catches.  She is slimmer and looks good.  She ate and went potty and drank water when we got home.  She isn’t mad at me because she wants to snuggle all the time and I keep getting lots of kisses.  The only issue is that the other two are jealous.  Moose especially with me and Stella is getting all up in Chris’s business (she is pretty good with me but both her and Moose have gotten yelled at for being too rough with Essie).

I have the vet’s personal phone number for any questions or concerns.  We finally met yesterday.  She wanted to know who I was since she’s treated all the dogs now, two of them more than once.  Very nice gal and very pregnant.  She is due the day before my birthday.  We had a good chat.

I hate to cut this short but the kids are restless so I need to be out in the living room paying attention.  Thanks for reading and thank you so much for all your kind words!  Stay safe! ❤

 

 

Animals, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Life, Love, Thinking

Essie Musings

I had hoped to have this done earlier but either the laptop or the internet has been giving me issues.  I dropped Essie off at the vet this morning.  It took me almost five minutes to get her out of the car.  Then when we got in the vestibule she just buried her face in me and shook.  Yeah, I feel like crap right now.  They are going to call me once she is out of surgery to let me know how it went and that she is ok.  I can pick her up around 4:30pm.

Stella has been very sweet and gentle since I got home.  I am both surprised and grateful.  Moose is just Moose.  He seems a little concerned that Essie is not with me but happier that I am home.  I made myself a to do list that will keep me busy once Chris gets up.

We had a friend stop over unannounced yesterday around noon.  It was good to see him even if his timing was off (I was getting into the shower when he pulled up).  He stayed until around 3-3:30pm so about 3 hours.

I decided to tap my 401K for my car repairs and such.  Not ideal but that will give us some breathing room.  I need to stay home this first week because of Essie’s surgery.  Since it is being considered a major surgery (which scares me because all they said about the size of the tumor was “massive” and if I am correct I think that is a good bit of her belly, she is too active to look as fat as she does so I think that once that is removed that is going to make a big difference to how she looks) I need to monitor her closely the first week.  I have a meeting that I actually have to attend Thursday night and a funeral on Friday.  Friday Chris should be up so he can keep an eye on her.

I’m going to stop here.  I need to get on the phone and then get things going around the house.  Thanks for reading and thank you so much for all the kind words and love!  Stay safe!

Animals, Dogs, Emotions, family, Life, Photography, Thinking

More Stumbles

I’m not sure how long this will be.  We got little sleep last night because we got hit really hard with some more storms.  I was the doggie comfort blanket for most of it.  We did sleep a little later than normal because we were all still really sleepy.  As I write this I have two of the three dogs in here with me.  Essie is in and out.

My anxiety is up because tomorrow is Essie’s surgery.  It is a major surgery and they recommended me taking her to the ER vet to stay over night so they could monitor her.  I said no because I barely have the money to cover the surgery and more importantly Essie would be miserable.  When she is hurt she wants to curl up with me and sleep.  And I need to know that she is ok.  So she is coming home after the surgery and our vet is giving me written instructions and her personal phone number incase of questions or an emergency.

I am also anxious because I now need to try to find a decently paying job locally.  And they also have to be flexible about my schedule due to the meetings I cover for the paper.  And will the car be ok while I drive around and put in these applications?  I don’t know.  That is the reason it has to be local.  And Essie has to be kept quiet while she heals for two weeks.  Bills are caught up for the month but next month is almost here.  I am just too overwhelmed.

I will share some photos from yesterday.  Thanks for reading and stay safe.

Animals, Dogs, Emotions, family, Life

Heart Break

Yesterday’s vet visit confirmed my worst fears.  Since they still won’t let us in the building I dropped Essie off in the vestibule (that broke my heart) and waited in my car for the call.  When the vet called she asked if Essie’s tummy seemed different.  I said I thought I’d noticed a change but I didn’t know if it was normal or not.  She asked if they could do x-rays because she was concerned.  I thought about saying no because those were $130 but I loved Essie too much.  So they took x-rays (since she had some back in May they were able to say that they were “follow up” x-rays so they only cost $67) and then did an ultra sound (they did not charge me for this).  They found a massive tumor on her spleen.

After a few minutes of balling my eyes out we discussed my options.  I could just take her home and keep her happy with medication.  The catch with that is if the mass should break open it would probably kill her.  The other option as surgery to remove the mass.  This was no guarantee either because if it is cancer (depending on which kind it is) she might only have a few months to live.  Her surgery is Monday (with the circumstances they were kind enough to make a spot for her in their already full schedule).

This is a huge hit to my heart.  And financially it will wipe me out.  Yesterday’s visit was like $220 or so. The minimum for the surgery is over $850 with the max estimate at almost $1100.  I am really hoping for the minimum because I can just make that, barely.

They gave her a pain shot as well as anti-nausea medicine and she must’ve been in real pain because she was bouncing around here after we got home like her old self.  I felt so bad for her.  Right now she is on pain medicine and Pepcid AC for her upset tummy.  She has been very busy with her frisbee and playing tea kettle.  Last night she started looking like she was in pain so I gave her her meds a little early.  I’d planned on giving them to her before bed.  I gave her another dose this morning with breakfast.  Right now everyone is asleep.

So that is the big update.  I feel like crap and want to cry at the drop of a hat.  That being said I am going to go and do some class work while I can.  I am cancelling my memberships and subscriptions since all the money is going for Essie.  I may have to cancel my class as well.  So I’d better do it while I can.  Thanks for reading and stay safe.

Creativity, Emotions, Gardening, Learning, Life, Writing

Adaption

I slept hard last night.  We got storms that came in during the early evening hours and last pretty much the whole night.  I managed to get both the front and back yards mowed as well as weed whacked before the rain started.  I like it when that happens because then the grass gets it’s much needed water right after.

Tonight I am covering a meeting.  It is a double surprise because not only is it here in Rapid City but it is also in person.  So I need to leave about quarter to seven tonight so I have enough time to find the building.  I’ve not ventured very far in our small community even though we have lived here for about 20 years.  Working at the lot opened my eyes to a lot of local stuff, people and places, and working at the paper is getting me even more exposure.

*Well this is about half an hour later.  The site went down followed by the internet.  I didn’t find this out until I tried to publish this blog post.  It hadn’t saved anything and it would not save anything.  So all I wrote is gone except for the first to paragraphs.  Soooo do I reconstruct what I had or find something new?

I got my piece written for class and submitted it yesterday.  Today the plan is to go and read my classmates pieces.  I have to read atleast four and grade them.  We’ll see how mine did.  I’m anxious to read what others say.  I don’t really get any feed back for my writing so this will be a nice change.  That being said since I’ve been on here for over an hour between writing and the crash I should get to it.  Thanks for reading and stay safe!

 

Animals, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Life, Thinking

Too Much All At Once

I never did get back to this yesterday.  I felt like I was on some kind of roller coaster.  This morning isn’t much better.  I am feeling overwhelmed by everything.  The State is open and the only thing we have to do is wear masks.  I should be looking for work.  I do need to get out of the house more.  But the anxiety can get overwhelming.  I took an anxiety pill before I left yesterday morning on the bike.  The ride wasn’t bad.  It was the first ride of the season for me.  But the anxiety…

I got my Jeep back.  All he did was fix the brakes.  It will be another two weeks before he can get to engine.  And this will probably be upwards of $1000.  Moose and Essie are not eating.  Every few days they seem to be going off their kibble.  I am worried that Essie’s cancer is back.  I am worried that Moose will start going down hill with his kidney disease.  I am afraid to put myself out there for a job.  I don’t want to leave the house.  I don’t want to deal with people.

I have a funeral to go to on the 24th of this month.  Way back when this all started a friend was diagnosed with COVID-19 and died.  She was the second person up here to die from the disease.  I am trying to see if a bunch of us want to get together later in the day since not everyone can come to the funeral.  We’ll see.

Oh damn. I just realized that I have my birthday next month.  I need to renew not just the tabs for the bike and car but I need to replace the driver’s license as well.  All this is hitting harder than normal.  I have been able to stay home and get my head together and find my happy place.  Now I am faced with giving it up or atleast part of it.  And things feel like they are piling up.  Change is good.  Change is needed.  But right now it needs to happen to someone else.

I feel restless.  I suppose I should start calling around for work.  I know it’s available.  I just don’t wanna.  Gradual would be better than all at once.  Today feels like all at once.  Maybe I will work on my writing for class.  Before I screw that up too.

Thanks for reading.  Stay safe.

Animals, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Learning, Life, Love, Thinking, Writing

Finding the Motivation

The rain has gone away.  Yesterday was a much welcome cloudy with rain off and on all day.  It did cool things off a bit.  Back down to normal summer heat for a day.  The temperatures will be right back up there today.  And I am ok with that.

I seem to have run into a mental dry spell over the last few days.  No writing other than this and my journal.  I’ve been lugging one of my guitars around with the appropriate paperwork to practice playing but I’ve done nothing past tuning the guitar.  I have read a bit in the new book.  I seem to not only lost my drive but my focus as well.  I was moving forward with great strides and now… inertia.

Moose definitely has kidney disease so I ordered more kibble yesterday.  I got the lamb since he doesn’t seem too fond of the chicken flavor.  We’ll see how he does.  Essie didn’t eat this morning.  She started getting me up around 6am to go outside in a hurry.  I left the door open for her.  She had to go back out maybe an hour later.  Then once we got up for the day She went directly outside.  Moose wouldn’t eat either.  I wonder if it is because Essie wouldn’t.  He’s in here with me and I can hear his tummy doing hungry rumbles.  I worry that Essie’s cancer is more severe than we think.  They said they got it all out with the lump but I’m not so sure.  And her surgery scar isn’t healing correctly.  Part of it keeps getting opened back up.  Now that Moose has been taken care of I need to call and ask them about her.  That will have to wait until Monday.  Monday I am also dropping the Jeep off for Chuck to look at.  Soooo….

I feel so busy but I know I have plenty of free time if  I choose to use it.  I just need to not do other things, like watch tv.  Moose is dreaming.  It sounds like it is on the border of becoming a nightmare with the sounds he is making.  I am keeping the house up as well as the gardens this year (so much easier and rewarding being able to stay home).  But will I let myself blow off writing?  That is part of the reason I opted to pay for the course instead of taking the free version.  The other part is that I can get feedback from other writers.  If you take the free course you are limited as to what you can do.  If I pay for it and don’t do anything then I am wasting money.  If I take the free version I can blow it off because it “doesn’t count” for anything.  That’s what I did with the guitar class.  So I need to find my way.

On that note I need to get something written before Chris gets up for the day.  He wants to do some running together.  I would rather stay home but it is time together.  Thanks for reading!  Stay safe!