Category: dreams

Animals, Automotive, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Food, Gardening, Holiday, Life, Love, Motorcycles, Nature, Photography, Riding, Thinking, Writing

Travels Great and Small

1972italy

It looks as though we will have another beautiful day.❤️ We want to grill today so I need to slide to the store before 1pm. I feel kinda bad because it is Easter but there it is. I am leaning toward taking the motorcycle (pardon the pun) but it will depend on the temperature (the frost still hasn’t melted) and my body. Right now it hurts. I might take Angus (my Subaru) for groceries then take Rogue (my motorcycle) out got a ride later today. We’ll see.

Maybe I need to wear my helmet cover 🧐

I want to spend time on my writing as well today. Even if a few pages are all I do. I started fleshing out some of my characters the other day. I still don’t see them clearly in my mind’s eye so I know more work needs to be done.

The Robins have been here and singing since we got up. Spring is definitely here! I wore shorts to work yesterday and several people commented. I compared myself to a Robin saying that if you saw me in shorts you know Spring is here. That brought many smiles. 😁

I miss loading up the dogs in the car to go for a ride.

My boys❤️🐾

I am trying to be positive… I am debating about doing some yard work today. I don’t want to do too much uncovering if we are still getting frost at night. I found a bud yesterday and the daffodils, tulips, irises and day lilies are growing up fast! I am very excited! Since my irises seem to bloom every other year this year should be the big bloom. I have a smaller batch that blooms when they don’t. No idea how I managed to do it. Lol. I think I will work with my roses this year too. So I need to dig out the book Mom got me.

Looking at the clock I guess I need to get crackin’ if I want to get to the store and get things done around here. I just want to thank everyone for the awesome support!❤️ Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Life, Nature, Photography, Thinking

Springing Spring

1972italy

The sun is out! I see that the buds are bigger on the lilac bushes and the grass it starting to turn green (despite the cold). The winter weather advisory the other day meant nothing for us. Cold but nothing else.

Both girls seem to want to be outside. But I open the door and they come back away from the door. Or they will just stand and sniff the air. I would leave the door open but it is still cold out.

Last night’s dreams seemed to center around my camera and my leather journal. People tried to take them from me. So I spent a good part of the dream keeping them away from others (usually with the help of quite a few people). I keep pausing and reliving little bits and pieces. Mind you if I try to write them down they will turn into wisps and blow away so I chose to just go over things in my head.

Talking to Mom last night we decided to go bowling and shoot some pool. Mom used to be in a bowling league so I was at many league games. Mom hasn’t played pool so I found a place that has both. Sadly I don’t think the have dartboards (real ones anyway…. Chris and I prefer the real bristle boards). So it will just be pool and bowling. Mom is going to ask her friend to go with so it will (hopefully) be a foursome. I know Mom feels like a third wheel sometimes so this will be a fun change!

I just stepped outside to take a few photos and when I came back in I noticed that my big orchid has some little nubbins that are growing from the bottom. I also found a large stem that had tucked itself away from sight. So it seems that I will be the proud caretaker of a second blooming orchid! I was very worried that she wouldn’t bloom again (I have had her a year as of February).

Looking at the clock I had better wrap this up so I can get things going around here. I think I will start with my indoor plants today. Thanks for reading and stay safe! ❤️

Aging, Animals, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Thinking, Writing

Balance

1972italy

It is hard to find a balance between everything. Work (even with two jobs) takes up much less of my life than before so that gives me more free time. Well free time might not be the best choice of words. Lol. There seems to be so much to do. So much I want to do. And with warmer weather coming upon us my list grows.

Ok so the “have to dos” include keeping up the house (dishes, laundry, vacuuming etc), taking care of the zoo (this includes care and cleaning of the mice, turtle and snake), watering and care of my plants… is that it? Let’s say it is for now. So now for the “want to dos”. That list is longer and includes my blog, letter writing, reading, riding, gardening, writing in general and working on my novels specifically, learning (this can be through a class or book or experience ex. working on getting the Pearl back on the road)… outside of either of these are spending time with family and friends as well as dealing with all the medical stuff going on.

I know I am over simplifying things (I could include sleep since I seem to be missing it a lot and food since I really enjoy cooking and eating good food) but you get the idea. I hate the idea of writing out a rigid schedule for it all. I like the spontaneous stuff. You know, hey! Let’s go to the book store or hey! Let’s go for a walk around the nature preserve. That kind of thing.

I do have my daily and weekly schedules for things. But can you plan on when you will cuddle with your loved ones? I suppose so but it just feels unnatural. And if you’re not in the mood or can’t? I’m thinking along the lines of riding and writing (yes it can apply to other things but this is what comes promptly to my mind). And I haven’t put in my photography under any of this. I think that’s because it is spontaneous and just fits in wherever.

As I get older I find myself more conscious of squeezing all that I can in my life. (Mind you I did the same when I was younger but I just wasn’t conscious of it. That’s why my life has been so full just do, do, do.) The flip side of all this is finding down time and me time. I know I squander a lot away watching tv (in my defense I do play a lot with the girls and have been known to exercise during a binge marathon and this has been some us time for Chris and I). Part of me wants to slow down and relax for a bit and the other part gets bored and wants to do things.

Something to think about I guess. Oooo I have rambled on a bit today! But I think that’s ok. It’s a first step. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

anxiety, Books, Creativity, dreams, Emotions, family, Learning, Life, Nature, Reading, Thinking, Writing

Looking Forward and Looking Back

1972italy

It was just cold and very windy out when we got up. Now it is white out conditions. Bah humbug. What happened to Spring? Ah well… atleast we are done with February!

I do want to thank everyone for their kindness and support over the past few weeks. It means a lot. Moose has been gone almost two months now. And then everything happening after that…

Last night I had all this that I wanted to say on my blog for today but now it is all gone. And I can’t write it then post date it to automatically upload. If I do that then I won’t write anything in the morning. That will throw off my routine. And if I break that part of my routine then I will have to start over. This has been the one constant writing for the past three years. Even if it has only been a line or two to say I wouldn’t be on it was something.

Yesterday I pulled out my copy of Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg. It was my first writing book. It was even signed by the author. Point it I am trying to get back to basics. I am going through the book like I did when I was a beginning writer. And in return it is inspiring me like it did when I was a beginning writer. That was all I did before work with my writing. And I think it was enough for the day. I have tomorrow off so I am hoping to get some novel work done. My meeting isn’t until Thursday night so I am free and clear to write what I want tomorrow. I don’t think I will call my parents. Maybe just texting or email. There was less stress and anxiety Saturday. We’ll see.

I am just looking around my room. Many dreams and memories stored here. A lot of things I need to go through as well. And I think I will start. Sorry this is one of the shorter ones. I’ll add a few pictures to brighten things up. Thanks for reading and thank you again for the support. Stay safe!

anxiety, Creativity, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Motorcycles, Nature, Photography, Riding, Thinking, Writing

Hocus Pocus I Gotta Find My Focus

1972italy

This is one of those mornings that my body just aches. I asked Mom if she would mind not going today. Truthfully neither of us can afford a girls day (which is what it would turn into). She just dropped $400 at the vet’s office the other day and I guess her car needs more repairs. I told her she could have what she wanted from the seeds I had gotten for the exchange. So we will try another time to get together.

Lat night I didn’t get much sleep despite the sleep aides. I also had weird dreams when I did sleep. I dreamt of the death of three family members. This was after dreaming of a death night before last. I’m not sure what to make of all the death dreams. I haven’t had them in years.

This morning has dawned cloudy. The sun was out for a bit but a gauze of clouds moved in. Yesterday was beautiful… Everyone was in a good mood too. It was over 40F (4C)! That also helped everyone. A lot of snow got melted between the warmth and the wind. I was eye balling the drive way to see if I could get the motorcycle out if it was nice today. Still a bit thick with snow and ice. But there are shovels around so we’ll see.

I am looking at my list. It is a good list. It is an accurate list. I am hoping it will be a finished list. I already have taken care of two things on there. Most of it is writing. I need to get my head straight with my writing. I am blowing it off and I shouldn’t. That is another reason I wanted to cancel with Mom. I need to stay home and work on my writing. I haven’t done any class work lately either. I need to get my rhythm back. All the emotional drama has got me all over the place. Speaking of which Dad sent a text saying that the only text or email he received was the one he was responding to which was the one asking why he hadn’t responded to anything. I haven’t said anything to him. When I do I will point out the text from me just above that from several days ago asking how he was that got no response. I am trying not to be an ass but I am hurt and frustrated. And I don’t want to talk to him today.

I did get some pretty awesome photos yesterday morning just before dawn. I went out to warm up the car and as I was walking back to the house I happened to see the moon. She was northwest of the house and HUGE! But what made it awesome was that the clouds were flowing over her like she was set in a brook or a river. I went in and grabbed my phone camera and came back and she was gone. I was bummed but I stood out there anyway. After a few minutes the clouds revealed the moon again and I took a bunch of shots as the clouds moved over her. I will share those with you. I am quite pleased with how they turned out.

I should get this online and get writing on my interview and article. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Learning, Life, Nature, Photography, Reading, Thinking, Writing

Bits and Bobs

1972italy

It has been snowing for a few hours now. Bah humbug. I have been reading more blogs this morning than normal (since I finally have my weekend off) and now my coffee is cold. Lol. We slept in til almost 8:30am. I spent a few minutes lounging in bed loving on the girls. I dreamt about Moose last night. I won some kind of coin operated game and got three balls for him to play with. He was a happy boy. The girls were there too.

I finally got photos of the knives I got Chris. I’ll share them on this post. I also got a refund for my shipping from Amazon since the one knife was late. I thought that was a pretty decent thing to do. It showed up the next day and the delay probably wasn’t their fault but I appreciate the gesture.

My one article is set to go live on March 1st. I still have my interview and two reviews to do. I think the interview will be a cut and paste from our exchanges. I started reading the short story collection that she helped put together. It’s very good abut I’m sure it’s not for everyone. In fact I think most of the people I know would put it down in short order. Just because it is very graphic. It deals with body horror. I am enjoying it because it is something new for me. Like I said the writing is very good.

I need to make sure we are out the door and headed to Pearl’s by 3:30pm today. I am rather excited. This will be the second time we’ve eaten out since this whole thing started last year. Speaking of which… I had to check to see if the restaurant that Mom and I went to for her birthday would be open. Looks like we are good to go. We just need to make a reservation.

I have been monkeying with my camera to no avail. I am trying to get the frame rate slowed enough that you can see the snow falling. Right now with both the Nikon and my phone if I take a photo when it is raining or snowing you don’t see the rain or the snow. And the photos I got this morning would’ve been beautiful if I could’ve frozen the snowfall (pardon the pun). Oh ho! It looks as if the sun is trying to come out!

Well geez. Essie is all up in my business! I got up to take a few photos (with both the Nikon and the phone) and she heard the shutter clicks and thought I was done in here for now. So I guess I’d better stop here so I can add the various photos and thus go spend time with her. Lol. Thanks for reading! Thanks for caring! Stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, Life, Nature, Photography, Thinking, Writing

Holding On

1972italy

I feel marginally better. Mentally I am still a mess but it has been contained somewhat. The highlight of yesterday is that the furnace went out on us. It was 54F (12C) in the house by the time it was going again. Outside it was even colder (in the negative with windchill). Work was freezing for everyone as well. Today won’t be much better as I am carry out so I will be doing a lot more outside.

In my dreams last night I was taking photographs with my Nikon from a small cruise ship at sunset. And it must have been Spring because it was chilly still but things were blooming and the colors were beautiful.

I’m watching the various birds peck away at the bark on the maple trees making bare spots in some areas. I feel a lot like the maples. Like I am being picked at and bits and pieces torn off.

I still haven’t written the articles and reviews. I am grateful for an understanding editor. I got up early (I couldn’t get to sleep and stay there) to do this and try to do one of the articles. We’ll see what happens. I know Essie wants some attention (I didn’t do much before work yesterday).

I just don’t know what else to write. I am trying to be optimistic but that will only get me so far. Not having Moose to help me through this is making it worse. He would always be by my side and cuddle when I needed to. The girls will but only for so long. Moose never cared as long as he was with me. I’d better stop here before I get to crying again. Thanks for reading and being patient with my meanderings. Stay safe.

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, Exercise, family, Guitar, Learning, Life, Love, Motorcycles, Nature, Photography, Reading, Thinking, Writing

So Many Choices aka Where Do I Start

1972italy

This morning we slept in. Mostly. I was wide awake at 4:30am for no reason. But within a few minutes Stella had darted off the bed so I followed suit. Just in time to get her outside to throw up. But I got myself back to sleep by 5:30am the the girls wanted to get up just before 8am. Funny thing is I stayed up past 10pm last night despite being wiped out doing reading and research.

Have you ever had so much around you that you wanted to do and/or learn that you didn’t know where to start? That is very much me right now. I have two novels that I am writing and researching (the werewolf story seems to be getting the most attention right now), I got three more classes that I want to do (learning guitar, creative writing and creative nonfiction) as well as the photography class. Let’s not forget the photography class that I’m already doing and the new magazines that I got in the mail the other day. Oh and the abundance of potential photographs that seem to be jumping out at me. Then I also need to keep the girls and I active which means exercise routine for me and lost of chasing, tea kettle and toy throwing for them. And let’s not forget my all important family time. When did my life get so complicated? Lol.

This morning I took a bit longer in reading other writer’s blogs. I am making an effort to try to make more comments on blogs (I know that I like to hear from my readers so it’s only fair). And there were a lot that I was drawn to comment on. Keep up the good work everyone!

Nuts. Hang on. I’m out of coffee.

Ok, I’m back. I also had to give Essie a belly rub. Anyway, there is just so much to do! I’m not even sure where to start. I have the research that is ongoing for the werewolf novel as well as my resources from my personal library to help write it (the current reference I am using is Robert J. Ray’s The Weekend Novelist. I figure if I can just work on it my two days off a week (I am fully aware that I am going to probably doing something related to the novel every day because that’s just me) this book will give me help in staying focused. I hope. I have the article that I need to research and write today. I need to do my exercises. Dad wants to chat. I need to call Mom to see how her date went the other day (the first one in almost 30 years… I am very proud of her, it took a lot for her to go out). I need to watch atleast one more class in my photography course. I have narrowed down my tire search for my Subie but I keep forgetting to call around locally. And everyone is closed today. I also need to get the motorcycle hooked up to the trickle charger (it has been bitterly cold lately so I have put it off). And apparently I need to see to the bird feeder. The chickadees are getting very vocal when they see me. On that note dear friends I suppose that I should wrap this up. I have a few good photos I will share with you (oh and I need to get some more photos uploaded onto my online shop). Thanks for reading and as always stay safe!

Ed. Note: This is my 800th blog! Yay!

anxiety, Creativity, dreams, Emotions, Exercise, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Changing Mindset

1972italy

It is hard to change one’s mindset when you have drilled it into your own head for years. I did some much at Younker’s that seemingly anything I did extra curricular I could turn into a imposition because I was doing too much and I hated my job. I didn’t matter if I enjoyed said activity or not. In the years that have followed that job it has been difficult to undo that mindset. But I am, slowly and brick by brick.

I started thinking about all this this morning after I got up. I was waiting for the girls to come in from going potty and the laptop to warm up. I was trying to go over what I could get done this morning and what I would need to do after work. My brain started getting anxious and angry. There was simply too much to do! I calmed my brain and looked at it all. I could get my article written, this written and my exercises doe before work. I had ample time. I could also get in my two photography classes after work. It would be only an hour. And this stuff wasn’t an inconvenience. These things were for me. They are to help me. And with the exception of the exercising I enjoy doing all of it. My mind was determined to not enjoy any of it. Because of past experiences. I have to keep changing my mind set. Once I get myself to seriously look at things instead of assume I can take another brick out of the wall. Having a job that I enjoy and don’t bring home every night helps more than you would think.

I just looked out the window and it is snowing big fat flakes. I still can’t seem to catch them in a photograph…. Some thing to work on in class. Since I have more to do yet before work I’m going to wrap this up. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

This first photo is from this morning. The rest are from last night. And I have added them to my online shop as well. 😁
Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, Exercise, family, Life, Nature, Reading, Thinking, Writing

Dropping the Ball

1972italy

The sun is out so hopefully that is a good sign for the day. I spent a lot of yesterday and most of last night anxious about Mom and her girls coming over today. I didn’t sleep well despite my best efforts. And when I did sleep it was with weird dreams. The closer I get to them arriving (not til 2pm so I get a while to build up a good freak out) the more I worry. I hope that me worrying is a sign that things will go well. I would rather freak out for mothing.

I got nothing done yesterday. No writing. No reading. No exercising. I played a lot with the girls and spent the evening after work with the family. I need to atleast get my workout done today. I did find out that a friend at work’s mom is a writer. She and I chat once in a while when she comes in to shop. We both love the same horror icons too. But she does her own vlog (video blog) and a book that she edited is being released soon. I am super excited for her! If I can figure out how to get the link here I will share it (my laptop is not connected to social media so I need to do it with my phone).

Today seems to be loaded with anxieties for me. My mind is just dredging up all kinds of worries right now all the sudden.

The little birds are comfortable enough with me now that when I got to fill the feeder they just hop to a branch to be out of the way. I could reach out and touch them if I wanted to. I always talk to them to tell them what I am doing. Especially if I am getting the scolding chirps. Lol.

I will add a few photos and put this out. I’m sorry it’s not more. My heart just isn’t in it today. Too busy freaking out. Thanks for reading and stay safe!