Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, the World, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Want to Do, Need to Do, What to Do?

Here we are with another beautiful morning. The insects are a constant buzz with the cicadas reigning supreme. It is very hot and humid already. A day to be lazy. But my mind whirls to dishes that need to be done, lawns that need to be mowed and….. It has been like that every time I have free time. My mind will not let go of stuff like that. I feel guilty that I am not doing anything. Then I fight the mental battle when I want to just relax or do something else and then nothing gets done. Or I do other things and feel guilty the whole time because nothing got done. I get so mad at myself…. but try and try again right? I have a meeting tonight but I plan do attend via Zoom. That is all I really have to do. Yes there is laundry (I did start that last night) and dishes and mowing but if I don’t do everything right away that is fine.

Grandpa’s flag is up on a top shelf here in the living room. I also brought out all the dog tags I have collected from family and draped them over the peak of the case. I need to make sure it stays dusted (I am awful at the whole dusting thing). I shared a photo with my family once I got it set up. I almost took Gram’s engagement ring off of there but it feels right to have in there. (I have her ring on with Grandpa’s dog tag.)

Dad and I were talking last night (over four hours) and I mentioned that I still want to learn Italian. I have the tools. Several years ago Dad got me Rosetta Stone Italian. I also have several books that Mom has gotten me as well as little cards that they used while learning Italian almost 50 years ago (Mom has the same set at her house). Do I start? Or am I putting too much on my already full plate? More excuses?

Listening to the rhythm of the cicadas as the song goes up and down like a wave. There is one right outside the door in a tree. It’s song just flowing. And more take up the same rhythm but at a different time. Just like sitting at the waters edge as the water laps at the shore. Sigh….

Visiting with my cousin Wyatt and seeing what he can do with a camera makes me want to learn more about photography. I think it is time to move on to the next chapter in my dvd course. I stopped at one point because I was trying to get a handle on how to use what I was being taught on the camera. I am comfortable now and I think I will move forward and see what is next. Mom and the girls got me a book on advanced photography. So that will come in handy. I want to learn to use what I have in my kit before I try to get more stuff. Wyatt has a full rig for his camera (which is a Cannon like Mom had) but is looking to upgrade several pieces. I think he had a total of three cameras. He’s looking to sell one and several lenses that he doesn’t use. I was sorely tempted but I’m not getting anything more until I am better and use everything that I have in my kit. There is a lot in there I have no idea what to do with.

My lower back is starting to spasm so I ought to wrap this up. My back has not been happy since I got back from my road trip Sunday night. Sorry this is so long but thanks for reading! Stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, Friends, Gardening, Life, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Thinking, Writing

Working to Ease the Malaise

This morning’s mental health is a bit better than yesterday’s. I still feel overwhelmed. I know part of that is that it has been such a busy week. Almost too much. Next week is a huge contrast. I have one meeting. Nothing else going on. I am hoping that since we are slowing down at work I will have more time to… find myself? Sort of but not quite. Maybe get myself together.

Ohhh I forgot we are going to have company the first few days of the week. A friend is going to crash one out couch because he has a job locally for a few days and lives down state. I don’t know how this will affect or morning and evening routines yet because I have no idea of his hours. I may only see him when I get home from work.

My goal is to get a review written on the latest book I finished reading. It is from a fellow writer I found on Twitter. I enjoyed it. Not what I expected (in a good way). I wanted to go and do one book review on here a week but that hasn’t happened yet. But it is still a goal. If anyone has any suggestions for reading material or something they would like to be reviewed please reach out. I don’t mind.

I was supposed to have a doctor’s appointment this morning but I had to cancel. I thought this particular appointment was the end of September not August. I knew this month was busy but sheesh! I have been trying to call to reschedule but I keep getting the eternal hold and I leave a message and then we play phone tag. Very frustrating.

The moon is almost full. I wonder how things will play out around here. Work tends to get a bit crazy on the full moon. I should wrap this up so it can get posted. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Food, Friends, Gardening, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, Tattoos, Thinking, Writing

Today Is My Birthday… What?!

Today is the first post of the last year in my 40s. It is kind of freaky to think that this time next year I will be 50 years old. 😯 My first birthday gift was from the girls. They let me sleep as long as I wanted this morning. ❤ I have already received a beautiful card from my Mother-in-law. A regular from work is taking me out for lunch this afternoon. (Don’t worry, he is pushing 90 years old and is a dear sweet man. I even got to meet and chat with his daughter while she was up. A very nice woman.) Both my parents are sending gifts (sneaky surprises since I said no gifts were necessary) which will arrive some time this week (why celebrate just one day when it can be all week!). Chris is paying for my tattoo on Wednesday. I caught some chipmunks sneaking into the house… maybe they were going to sing me happy birthday? I doubt it though, lol. And another gift… I don’t have any meetings this week. I thought I had one tomorrow night but it is next Tuesday. Yay!

Not only did I get good sleep last night but I woke up in a wonderful mood. It has been a while for that. Normally days off end up getting crammed with appointments and meetings. This will be a nice change. I am worried about Stella though. When I woke up she was sleeping on the floor. I have never seen her do that overnight. I know she was in bed for some of the night but on the floor? I would’ve expected her to go on the couch in the living room. And I’m not sure if she was eating grass out in the yard. She ate breakfast fine. Hmmmm. She was actually very good yesterday while we had company. She listened very well for the most part.

I may putter in the yard this morning or just hang out in my swing and read. I might even pull out one or both of the novels and knock the dust off of them. I want to stay in my happy mind frame today. Essie is out in the yard doing her thing. I think I will wrap this up and throw a few toys for the girls. I know they were tired last night from all the playing. Thanks for all the wonderful comments and support! And as always stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Thinking, Writing

Storm of the Pitties

Sweet Mother of all that is! No more storms please! I cannot imagine what these two dogs would be like in worse. Essie seemed to be able to sleep despite the scared shivering but Stella… she panted and shook and could not fall asleep. Then there was me so desperate for sleep I could barely keep my eyes open. Then the power would go out. And come back on. Neither pup liked that so I was a mass of quivers trying to hold both girls. Eventually we were able to fall asleep (well I was and I’m pretty sure Essie did). The next thing I remember was Chris coming home and turning off the light (during storms I keep the bedroom light on so that the lightening isn’t as prominent and that seems to help).

When we woke up I miss judged the time when the clock had gone out. I thought it was only say 30 minutes off. So I thought I had slept until 9am and felt a little guilty. Then I looked at the clock once I got out here in the living room (we have several battery operated ones throughout the house) and lo! it wasn’t even 8am. Well damn. So here we are. I did get my article for the paper written and submitted though.

I got my response from the Argentinian writer I had been asked to edit for. I read a few pages and was as polite as possible in my response. I pointed out his blatant errors. In his response to me he never ever addressed the issues I pointed out. Merely suggested a title change and a few other things. So I am going to have to figure out a way to get out of it without hurting his feelings. Barring that just get out of it. That is what I need to do once I finish this.

I know my novels miss me. I miss them. Is time away what I needed or am I just procrastinating? I am going to try to work on atleast one of them before work. Just for a page or 30 minutes. Whatever I can squeak out. I also see a multitude of photography opportunities at my bird feeder this morning after the storm. So wish me luck! I am off for another day of adventure! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Nature, Photography, Reading, the World, Thinking, Writing

Taking Time to Breathe

Ahhhhhh sleep. ❤ I crashed out early last night and Essie let me sleep until 8am. A blessed 10 hours of virtually uninterrupted sleep (there were a few times I woke but I was able to fall back asleep). I can’t begin to tell you how needed that was!

The sun came out for a little bit but the thick clouds have moved in and tucked the sun and blue sky away. Rain is in the forecast and I am ok with that. I might even *gasp* take a nap later. I am going to do my best to just relax today. There are a few things that are niggling at me to be done. I will try to ignore them. I know that I will succumb to atleast one but that is ok. My goal today is not to worry. Just go with the flow. I have no meeting tonight, just tomorrow morning. So I have no excuses.

The birds seem happy with the placement of the bird feeder. I will put it back in the tree when it gets cold but for now it is in a spot where the chipmunks can’t get to it. I also need to figure out what to do when my pumpkins start to grow. I already have several large blossoms and I know that the chipmunks will eat them before they get very big. Suggestions are welcome.

I have an acquaintance that has asked me to edit his short story. This would normally be an easy decision but he is from Argentina and even though he is an English teacher and can speak the language his writing needs help. The last piece I tried to help him with was very difficult. He wanted me to write a review for the book but I could not. I can’t write a review of something for a friend when I cannot find something to like in the piece. There is no nice way to put it. I did not want to hurt his feelings. So he has asked me to help him with a piece that he hopes to get a Bram Stoker Award with. (For those that don’t know it is like getting an Emmy for horror writers.) It is an intimidating task. He has offered to pay me. After much thought I set a price and said that it would be subject to change depending on the amount of work involved. I also asked for a sample page from the piece. I got the whole piece. So. I gave myself a few days to look at it and decide. That is something I plan to do today.

The countdown to Friday begins. I have my colonoscopy. I still haven’t heard from anyone. No call to make sure that I was still doing my appointment. No go here or here to get the nasty stuff to drink. I may call myself if I don’t hear anything.

I will wrap this up and got grab my journal. This is the only writing I have been able to do over the past few days. I will share a few photos as well. Thanks to all my readers for not only taking the time to read my posts but also for the supportive comments as well. I really appreciate all of you!❤ Stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Guitar, Learning, Life, Love, Motorcycles, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Riding, the World, Thinking, Writing

A Shaker Full of Everything

This morning is darkening with the impending rain. We had bits of sun here and there when we got up. Now a darkness falls upon the land. The earthy richness of the blueberry coffee I got for the Keurig is a very welcome flavor and warmth this morning. It’s not cold this morning but since we sleep with the AC on it takes me awhile to warm up in the morning.

Today is a manager day so that means I probably won’t get out until 10-10:30pm. Which would be ok but I am back at 9am tomorrow. But that means the girls and I can play more tomorrow.

I am contemplating doing a book review once a week. The one I posted last night seemed to go over really well. If I do it it will be the same thing as yesterday. I would have it as well as a regular post. Let me know what you folks think. Also let me know what genres you would be interested in. I have a wide selection here at the house so it shouldn’t be hard to do requests. Maybe call it the Wednesday Review (unless someone has a clever name they would like to suggest). Nothing concrete just getting a feel for things.

This morning I feel like my body is betraying me. I could barely get out of bed and it has been hard to move. Everything is stiff and painful. But I need to make the best of it. The girls are very understanding and don’t snatch their toys as often when I go to take them. And when we play tug-of-war they don’t pull near as hard as they could.

I did about 20 minutes on my novel last night before bed. I worked on my main character. So if I can keep that up I will be happy. My goal is 30 minutes to an hour a day on my novel. With my schedule (especially next month) all over the place I want to do small time frames so I will actually do it.

I was going to try to take my motorcycle out the other day and I couldn’t stand and keep the bike balanced, even as light as it is. So I just left it plugged in the charger. It is very frustrating. I haven’t ridden once this year. Many of you are going to ask why don’t I just sell the bike. Because I am determined to still ride.

Ok, I see that I have gone on a bit more than normal. We lost a great bassist yesterday and my mind is still processing that. We got to see the band with my Mom in concert a few years ago. It was a great time! Dusty Hill of ZZ Top will always be remembered.❤ And with that dear friends I will wrap this up. Stay safe and as always thanks for reading!

Books, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, History, Learning, Life, Love, Motorcycles, Photography, Racing, Riding, Sports, the World, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Motorcycle Book Review

   I don’t think that Alicia meant to be hero when she put together this book but in the end she is as much a hero as any of the other women represented in this book.  As a rider who is on again/off again on her motorcycle due to both physical ailments and anxieties of my own making buying this book has been the best money spent in a long time.  It rekindled the passion that lay buried beneath fear and anxiety to burn hot enough to break through to the surface like a Holy Grail.

   She lovingly recounts the lives and passions of role models new and old.  Many of the women I recognize as they are some of my own personal heroes.  I even found a few new ones to admire from like Lois Price who has been all over the world on solo riding tours (even places like Iran and Africa) as well as being an amazing author.  Then there is Mary McGee who was ground breaking in getting women into motorsports.  She has even been inducted into the AMA Hall of Fame!

   I also found more women to learn from.  New examples of a passionate life and a love for motorcycles.  Women who show us that women really can do anything.  They can ride, race, take solo tours around the world, set world records and even be mechanics and motorcycle designers.

   This is a perfect gift for someone- anyone- you love who thinks they can’t do it.  These women have beat the odds.  Better still this is the perfect gift for yourself.  Women to learn from.  Women that can show you your own inner strength and passion.

Find your inspiration.

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, Thinking, Writing

Rain in the Sunshine

Here we are. The cicadas are buzzing and humming in the trees. The sun is out and various birds are adding their two cents to the narrative of the day. The girls yawn and stretch hoping that I will be putting the laptop away soon. I’ve gotten the article written and sent in. I think I will do my word count and get that sent in as well. I look around me and….. and what? I am trying not to do another dreary post about my struggles. But last night in bed things hit home. Many things and I could feel the cloak of depression descending.

I am tempted to set this aside for awhile. But I also know that if I do there is a good chance that I won’t come back to it. And if I stop this then I would probably stop writing all together. That would make things worse. So I ask your patience as I try to work through my rough patch.

I did no work on either novel yesterday. I did get more pages in my journal though. Five to be exact. And I spent some time on my other writing site ( I feel guilty with that because someone paid for a full membership for me for a year and I haven’t done anything on the site but a few comments. But I did make the effort yesterday. I also found some helpful articles on the site which I have since printed.

I will stop here and get this posted. I did get some photos that turned out rather well. I hope you like them. Have a great day! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, Thinking, Writing

looking inside

This morning dawned wet with rain. I’m ok with that because yesterday was beautiful and sunny. I spent a lot of time outside. This time I can work on things inside. Mostly. If it’s not raining it is still very comfortable out there so I may be more inclined to work on things outside. Oh and here is a touch of sun!

I spent a little while in my swing outside reading. I had my writing things with me though. (I keep telling myself that hauling my writing things does not count for writing. Neither does research when that is all you do.) I made an attempt before bed to write but all I did was stare at the pages. So that is what I am going to do. Thirty minutes a day I will sit with my writing and either write more or stare at the page for that thirty minutes. I can’t keep ignoring it. It is not going to write itself. I also need to write back to my penpal. I have set it aside and done everything but.

Essie’s vet visit went well. She had her blood drawn to make sure the medicine she is on is not hurting any of her internals. So she (like me) is on pain medicine indefinitely. I did find out that her second medicine is for her really bad days (I am glad that I asked since I thought it was going to be what she took everyday once we finished her current bottle). Thankfully she hasn’t needed any.

This morning I kind of feel like I am falling apart. My body feels like it is completely rejecting me. I know that Chris has his problems too so I try to not say anything about mine. I am concerned since it feels like all of it is coming on all at once. I am concerned and not sure what to do. I am not a fan of doctors but things have gotten bad enough that I am going to them.

I look around the room and see my various bits of inspiration that I have. Rocks galore (I am a rock hound although I do need to start learning more about what I find instead of the “ooooo! shiny!” and bring it into the house to collect dust), my books on writing that I cherry picked from my own collection, my candle, my various trinkets…. so I guess I should use them and get to writing. Thank you so much for reading and commenting. Stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, the World, Thinking, Writing

Taking Care

I am glad to finally see some of the new bloggers that I follow finally appearing on my feed. I enjoy reading the new voices out there. 😍 The day has dawned warm and sunny. It will probably get a lot warmer but it will be heaven not to be freezing in the AC at work! Yesterday went quickly. I was all over the store but once I got settled in the deli we just went for it. There was lots to do and I am proud to say that pretty much all of it got done. The last two hours of my shift I was closing cashier. It was then that my body informed me I had done way too much.

But I have the next two days off. I am hoping to be able to relax myself mentally. My anxiety has been right up there but hidden away so I could function. I need to address that while I am at home. If I don’t and keep hiding it then there will be a melt down at one point. I also need to look at my physical limitations as well. Despite any medicine my body is one big ball of pain. I have an appointment with the pain clinic at the end of August.

Today’s goals are to work on myself and my novel. I have been pretty consistent with taking care of others. I am going to try to take care of me. This might include a bit of housework but….😁 The girls are already outside enjoying the day. I think it is time for me to do the same. Thank you to everyone for your support! It really means a lot! Have a great day and stay safe!