Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, Exercise, family, Friends, Gardening, Guitar, Learning, Life, Love, Music, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Thinking, Writing


I didn’t get out of bed until 10am this morning. Mind you I didn’t get to bed til after 1am, but still, I slept in for once. I still feel like I could sleep for a few days it feels good to have slept in. When I called last night to find out about jury duty I was so relieved to hear that it had been cancelled. I don’t mind doing jury duty. I just needed a day off. (More than one but I’ll take what I can.)

The sun is out and we have blue sky for miles. It is still very chilly (46F/7C). I worry about friends and family in Florida. One of our friends that moved back up here lived in Florida for several years. Where he lived is completely underwater according to the news. I am trying to get ahold of my Aunt and Uncle that live down there but no luck. They have several cats and I am pretty sure that they would stay as long as they could.

I am trying to figure out what I want to do today. There are several things that come to mind, but nothing that I have to do. I have both reading and writing on my list. Mom got me a guitar music book. It is pop hits (that she has never heard of, lol). I might pull that and a guitar out. If I do pull out my guitar I might try my hand at the classical stuff again. Classical and Spanish guitar are my favorite to listen to. I also am thinking about taking Stella for a walk at the park. It is a bit chilly but we both need to get out and do something physical.

But I need to wrap this up. I sent a text to my friend who is having issues. I try to check on her every few days. She adores Stella so I send a photo of her and some encouragement. This morning she needs to talk. So I will share some new photos and get this posted. Thank you to everyone for the love and support! It makes more difference than you know. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Gardening, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Thinking, Writing

Fumbling But Forward

This morning is overcast. The clouds started rolling in yesterday afternoon. We need the rain. It is supposed to start this afternoon and go almost through Tuesday. I spent pretty much my whole day outside reading beneath the boys’ tree. I mostly ignored my phone. I got all the way through one of my Elizabeth Peters novels and started a Richard Matheson one. There is a good chance I will finish that one today.

After I get this posted I am heading in to do my liquor order. I am hoping it won’t take too long. I would like to come home as soon as I can. The trees have suddenly started changing color. Things were pretty much all green when the sun when down last night. This morning I see that many trees across the way have atleast half of their leaves yellow. I should figure out where all my outdoor plants will be going soon. I think I will have enough room but it might be tight. There are several large pots this year.

Today will be a struggle but not as hard as yesterday was. I am hoping for small improvements everyday. Tomorrow I have both a morning and an evening meeting. Between those Mom and I are hoping to get together. I will be in Traverse regardless. If it is raining Mom might cancel. Thank you for the kind words and support over the past week or so. It means a lot to me. I am going to wrap this up so I can go make my order. Thanks for reading and stay safe.

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Automotive, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, Reading, Thinking, Writing

A Break in the Clouds

I am debating about not going rock hunting tomorrow. I am just not feeling it. We would leave tomorrow morning and return sometime Sunday. I think I would rather have my last two days at home. I will have to message the Girls and let them know. I hope they won’t be too upset with me.

I had a meeting last night. It went well. I was a bit apprehensive about going but I did alright in the end. That was a relief. It was a fun one to cover. I plan to write the article once I finish this. Then I think I will pull out my novel. I have a few ideas that I would like to get on paper.

I was gifted two beautiful rocks by one of my customers when I went to put gas in my car yesterday. He said he thought of me with the one rock he had painted. It is actually my favorite of the two he gave me. My werewolf also (finally) arrived from Build-A-Bear. He has a Nightmare Before Christmas hoodie and red high tops. I believe that the hoodie glows in the dark as well. I now have my first werewolf!

Part of the post that never was able to post (that’s a mouthful) from the other day included some of the stuff we got done around the house. Chris got our security cameras up and running and our awesome neighbor not only mowed the front yard for us but he also came over to help trim back the two trees beside the house. I am so grateful for the help.

I think I will wrap this up and get my article written. I feel a bit better than I did yesterday morning at this time. I might bite the bullet and take Stella to the park. If she is not limping. She seems to be tweaking either her ankle or shoulder on a regular basis. And if I do go out I may slip into Traverse to the bank. I still need to deposit a check. Onward and upward. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Checking It All Out

Another cold morning. No insect sounds or bird calls. As the sun came up and things began to warm up the critters slowly started their day. Mom and I were going to get together this afternoon but it is my turn to bail. I am just not up for it. Anxiety and depression are still hitting pretty heavy.

A lot got done yesterday. Chris made a lot of headway on the riding mower. I helped where I could but pretty much stayed out of the way. The fish tank and stand are now upstairs in the garage. That has opened the living room up quite a bit. I’m not sure what all will go on today. I know we have some banking to do and company will be coming over around 5:30pm. I might dust a little. I should also clean off the various tables. I seem to be sprawling again.

I have been trying to spend time outside since it is getting colder. There won’t be many more days of warm weather. I also need to start getting Stella some sweaters. She still needs a harness. I thought about taking a walk in the back 40 with her. It’s cool enough. I’d rather take her to the park.

Once I get this posted I will work a bit on my novel. I still need to get that online class for the Girls and I. It is a writing class. I had forgotten about it til just now. It’s not until October 1st. I just looked at my app for the horror contest. I guess it starts at 1pm my time. I will still share it here and then again tomorrow. I guess I had better wrap this up as I am babbling. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Thinking, Writing

Digging Through

The nights are getting very cold already. Stella is in a little ball on the couch covered in blankets. I am contemplating changing my shorts for pants but the afternoon is supposed to get back to summer temperatures. Work can be so cold somedays. Yesterday I could not get warm no matter what I did.

The sun is highlighting the overgrown grass in the front yard. The mower is still down. With everything going on there just hasn’t been time to do the engine swap. And since both of us are off at the same time hopefully we can get the mower going for a few more runs before the snow flies. I may try the weed wacker. We’ll see.

I am contemplating what comes next. I have a whole week in front of me. I have already done some of the things I had planned to do over the course of my vacation. So what do I choose to do? What I want is to take Stella to the park for a walk. It is cool enough that she won’t get overheated. But I’m not sure if it is safe for her. She needs to get out. She is becoming bored again. Neither of us have been playing with her as much as we should.

I need to work on me this week. Yesterday was a bad day for me. What made it worse was I could not shake the depression. Everyone noticed it, even when I tried to fake it. I need to…. fix it? Can it be fixed? I am not sure. But something needs to be done.

I see that some plants need watering again. I know that some will need a new pot as well. My agave plant has a baby in there with her that needs its own pot soon. My succulent George needs another pot as well. I’m not sure how big to go for him. He is growing like a weed in whatever I put him in. There also needs to be more space for the plants that need to come in when it gets too cold to leave them out. Chris has gotten some hooks to put up for some of the hanging pots. I need to figure out where those will go.

The horror competition I entered will start tomorrow. I am really not up to promoting it but I am going to try. It would mean a lot to win. But I need to put forth the effort. I will share the link tomorrow when I do my post. I am thinking of doing a separate post just so I don’t bombard everyone everyday with the same thing.

Instead of rattling on I need to get this posted. I will try to have new photos for tomorrow. Today will be some repeats. Thank you for all the supportive comments. They mean a lot and you have some excellent suggestions. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Thinking, Writing

A Chance of Clouds

We had storms overnight and it looks like we might get some more rain this morning. The plants need it. Stella wasn’t happy about the storms but eventually she did settle down. Right now she is on her back asleep on the couch. We had a dragonfly come in a few minutes ago. I had to get it to land on my hand instead of beating itself up against the screen trying to get out. Once it was on my hand it was content to just sit there. I let it for a minute or two before coaxing it back into the air outside. Its colors were beautiful! Greens and blues all over. It was longer than my finger too. One of the bigger ones I have seen around.

I was only at work maybe three hours yesterday. Everything got done in record time. I didn’t feel right just standing around talking to collect a paycheck. So I got out of there about the same time that my manager did. I explained why I was leaving “early” (I put that in quotes because I really make my own schedule on Fridays). He had no issues with it. It was nice to be home. I was able to spend time with Chris and Stella.

The sun is coming out. It is showing just how dark the rest of the sky is. The leaves are beginning to change colors. Before it was a patch here and there. Now that September is here it seems to have triggered Fall in earnest. I love Fall but I am not liking what follows. This Winter is supposed to be very cold and very snowy. I have already started looking for sweaters and hoodies for Stella. With most of her fur gone on her chest and belly she is going to need something to keep her warm.

We are going to have company tonight. I am trying to figure out what I want to do. One of my big goals is cleaning out my office. I had thought to start that today and I still may. With company coming over I’m not sure how far I will get before I have to stop. And I could also work on my writing. But when Chris gets up he will probably want to game out here in the living room. I don’t do well writing with other stuff going on in the background when I am at home (that being said I would like to replace my old stereo so I can play my cds again). If it is raining that limits my places to go. I need to clean up the kitchen a bit too. If I do that I can write at the kitchen table. Sooo….

Regardless I guess I should get myself moving. Stella is so cute sound asleep on her back. Little goose. Thanks for reading and thank you for all the support. Stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Forgotten bits

Aaaaand here we are on three hours of sleep. I need to be home by 10:50am or so to get Stella to the vet by 11:20am. They will cover for me. Hopefully it won’t take too long (or be too expensive). I need to tweak the last bit of my tobacco order as soon as I get there. I will probably miss my order guy.

I am debating on calling one or both my parents once I get home this afternoon. Mom and I have been texting but I haven’t heard from Dad lately, I’ll see how things go.

I want to spend some time on my novel this afternoon as well. Atleast get some scenes outlined. I have some stuff in my head I need to get down on paper.

This is gonna be a short one. Thanks for reading! Stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Thinking, Writing

Moving… Keep Moving

The sun is not sure of its place this morning. It has been overcast since we got up. I do see some blue sky coming out. We have another estimate being done today at 1pm. Yesterday’s did not show. Chris called and apparently he forgot. So he came out yesterday to take measurements and then he will call Chris with an estimate. I was less than impressed. Chris was much more understanding. I am hoping that we can avoid the spiel about the company again (it is the same company that we had for the window estimate but this time for the roof… don’t ask me why both could not have been done at once because I don’t know).

I did end up going into work for about an hour. One of my coworkers asked if I would manage while she went to pick up her granddaughter from drivers training. So I buzzed in for a bit. I dried some tears and bolstered confidence while I was there too. I couldn’t not listen when she so obviously needed someone to talk to.

I think I will putter around my plants this afternoon. My indoor plants need to be trimmed. Some of the outdoor too. I also need to try to figure out where everyone is going once it gets too cold to keep them outside. There are… three- no four- hanging plants with quite a few potted ones.

And I will sit down with my novel. I got all three of my writing magazines in a two-day span so I have been thumbing through them. One of them actually has articles on horror writing which is a nice change. I need to figure out what my goals are, for myself and my writing. That is a big goal today. I should get myself moving. I let myself sleep in so I am a little behind where I wanted to be timewise. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Food, Friends, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, Reading, Thinking, Writing

Trying to….?

As fun as it has been the past few days with my birthday the big thing is Stella. Last night I was debating whether or not to take her to the ER vet. She was panting like she was in pain (it was not warm). She seems a little better today. She is being a cuddle bug again.

I am a bit disappointed in myself. I did not, I have not, pulled my novel out in days. Maybe even weeks. Things have been so crazy I just read to get my mind off things instead of writing. It’s a good story. I want to tell it. But I can’t seem to get out of my own way. I am thinking I will work on it tonight. I shouldn’t as I need to be back up at 5am and I will (hopefully) be home before 10pm tonight. But I won’t be able to go right to bed let alone sleep.

Stella must really want my undivided attention. I shifted a little and the cushion behind my back made a creaky sound and she picked her head up (she is laying out in the sun in the porch). I still need to take a shower. I wanted to get laundry in and done first. I did bedding last night so that is good.

I find I am expecting too much from myself. But I don’t stop. Sometimes it does help. Then I will actually follow through. But right now I find myself overwhelmed mentally. I am trying so hard to do the right thing all the time. I berate myself when I cannot. Part of me is looking forward to the cold weather since that means I don’t have to work on what is outside, just inside. And I am at a point that I need the inside.

I guess I am planning a Younker’s reunion. Everyone wants to get together again. But no one is offering to pull it together. We have a place to go. So I will just put the word out for a specific date and have everyone bring a dish to pass. I can bring the plates and such. I do want to see everyone again. It was good to just sit and talk for awhile (I guess we were there for over 2 hours on Sunday).

I see by the clock that I need to wrap this up if I am going to get everything done. Thanks for reading and thank you for all the support. It means a lot. Stay safe!

Ed. note: My last two gifts were a really awesome chair and (giggity!) the box set of the Friday the 13th movies! Mom and I are getting together Saturday (we have decided to not go to the wedding Saturday) so I’m sure I will have more goodies to share after that.

anxiety, Automotive, Books, Creativity, dreams, Emotions, family, Food, Friends, Guitar, Learning, Life, Love, Music, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Tattoos, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Enough Is Enough

I find that I continue to take on more than I should so that people need me. In some situations, it is because I enjoy it (my article writing started out that way). Or to prove to everyone (including myself) that I can do all of it. But there comes a breaking point. Yesterday was that for me. By 9am I just couldn’t do it anymore. Between the brake issues with my car, two meetings on Monday (on the way to the first meeting is when the brake issue started) when Monday was my day off from my main job, the crazy day that was Sunday (being at work by 5:30am to do my liquor order, going home for a few hours after my shift then heading to the tattoo parlor to get my ink fixed), my first inventory where I have to count all my backstock myself for two departments by myself, my plans for teaching cooking classes at work this Fall, my birthday…. too much going on in my head and just as much going on outside of my head. Everything just shut down. My coworkers are awesome and they stepped up to the plate for me so I could go home early. I intended to get my groceries and leave but it turned out that the store owner was in his office as I was heading out. He asked if I was sick so I poured it all out to him. Instead of saying something negative he encouraged be to go home and get some much-needed rest. He also said that I probably was in need of a vacation. I mentioned that Chris wanted to take the week of Memeorial Day off and his response” “Let’s make it happen!” You know you work for a good company when that happens. So I came home with the Boss’s blessing and tried to relax.

I guess this is me trying to step back from things. I need to show someone else how to order cigarettes for when I am gone. As I type this I see the potential issues with doing that. I have to choose someone. There are two people I can choose. Either one would be good. However… the one not chosen will be angry and hurt. GAH! The easiest thing will be to just put it in the lap of my boss. I will give him my choices and let him make the decision. It might be cowardly, but I am close to both of them.

I am thinking of pulling out one of my three classes on dvd and doing that as a relaxation thing. I have creative writing, guitar and photography to choose from. At this point I think the photography is the only one I wouldn’t have to restart. Maybe the creative writing one would be ok. I don’t want to put more on my plate (thus doing the dvd verses going to an actual class class) but I want something that is out of my norm. Something I can focus on that I won’t just drift through because I know it.

I feel a stress headache moving in. It happens when I think too much about too much. So I will wrap this up and try to figure myself out some more. Thanks for reading and stay safe!