Aging, Animals, anxiety, Being Pagan, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Tattoos, Thinking, Writing

Introspection

I feel as though I have spent too much time “surfing.” I was actually reading and learning but my mind is reprimanding me for it. I spent a good portion of last night laying in bed thinking about my various fur babies and being there for them when they died. That led to thinking about all the things I have done over my soon-to-be 50 years of life. That led to the thought of I am almost half a century old.

Many people (including myself at times) will say that age is only a number. I don’t think 50 and I are going to see eye to eye. 30 was a blast and 40 wasn’t too bad. But 50? Especially when those I love are aging even more rapidly in my mind? No thank you. But, as the saying goes, time marches on.

I need to hit the pause button, sit back and take stock. It feels like there is just so much going on, so many decisions to be made. I did manage to get a decent 3 hours or so of sleep. That was after I started reading my copy of Natalie Goldberg’s The Great Spring. Her book Writing Down the Bones was the first book on writing that I ever got. Mom bought it for me. I have a lot of her books and I even got to meet her (and yes I have several of her books signed). I have always found comfort in reading her work. Although Spring was published in 2016 this is the first I have seen it. I think I might curl up before work and read another chapter. My eyes are very tired from reading already this morning. And I am sleepy.

I told Stella that I just had to work today then I had two days off. If I go anywhere I will take her with. She has been a cuddle bug the past few days. I find myself unsure where to go from here. Mentally and physically. I did meet another Pagan at work yesterday. It was a cool moment for both of us. She complimented my butterfly tattoo on my hand which led to showing her Essie’s tattoo. Then she had to show me her memorial tattoo. When I leaned over to get a better look my pentacle necklace popped out and when she saw it her smile got so big! “You’re a Pagan too?!” It was a very awesome feeling of connection for both of us. I’m sure she’ll be back and we’ll end up chatting again. It’s nice to feel that you aren’t alone in your beliefs. (It’s like my writing. I know there are other writers out there but I don’t have anyone locally that I connect with about it. The same with being Pagan. I know there are others out there but in a small town it’s not like you can just reach out to your local Pagan place and go spend time.)

I guess I will wrap this up. I am always anxious bringing my beliefs on to my page. I am not looking to change anyone or anything. I am stating what I believe. I have been lucky in that regard. After the initial shock most people just pepper me with questions. I haven’t had anyone try to convert me. But I still worry. People pass judgement so quickly sometimes. Anyway I will try to get a few photos to share. The day is grey and dreary. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Being Pagan, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Tattoos, the World, Thinking, Writing

A Work In Progress

I am trying to convince myself that my tattoo will look better as it heals. It is not how I intended to get the piece. It is in black and white. I wanted color. He was trying to use as much of her ashes as he could. My hand looks like it is covered in a black leather glove. Essie’s paw looks good. I am just so upset but trying not to be. Once it heals I think I will ask him to lighten things up a bit. He was trying to contrast her paw in my hand so you could tell one from the other. I am trying so hard to be positive. I wanted this piece so badly…

Chris got me a beautiful handmade Celtic bracelet for our anniversary. I especially love the little details on the wolf’s head. And she is Pagan so that was an added bonus for me 🥰 The bracelet is a little heavy but you don’t notice it once you put it on. It just becomes part of you.

This was made by Metalweaver’s Creations

We are due for more storms tonight and tomorrow. But we were supposed to be all iced in yesterday and the roads were fine. They cancelled school for no reason as it turns out (that happens a lot). I close tonight but will be back at 6:30am tomorrow morning then our day off together. Mom wants to get together as well (I made it a point of saying that it was to be our anniversary time together). So we shall see what happens that day. I think we just might say no and take the time together. We need some of that. But I will ask Chris what he thinks before I say anything to Mom.

I am pleased with how the inside garden is coming along. Everything but the sweet basil has sprouted. I believe my cucumbers are also starting to bud. My green pepper plant from last year is also budding again and she has even grown another pepper for me. I need to empty out the pots with the dead plants. There are two… maybe three of them. I can then transplant some of the other plants into bigger pots. I might take care of that this morning. Then I can transplant at my leisure.

I ought to wrap this up. I need to see if I can crank out the article on Shirley Jackson. I still haven’t seen my other article posted yet so???? It is what it is. If they don’t post it I will share it on here. Stella is about to slide off the love seat onto the floor. Asleep. On her back. Goofball. Anywho thanks for reading and stay safe!

Being Pagan, family, Friends, Holiday, Learning, Life, Nature, the World, Thinking

And Then the Day Was Here 😱

Well today is the day! Halloween is finally here! It’s both a happy and sad occasion. Especially if you are a Pagan. For us it is a time that we can show our respects to those that have passed and start moving toward new things. On Halloween (or Samhain) it is easier to hear those that have passed before us. Many Pagans will do a small ritual to give thanks to loved ones for help and protection they have given over the past year (this is our New Year as well), much like the Mexican Dia de Muertos or Day of the Dead. I guess it is a day to wrap up the old year and look forward to the new.

I hesitated about writing about my faith as many of my followers believe in different things… many believe that my faith is wrong and bad. When I write about my beliefs I feel exposed and I don’t like the feeling but I want to share the knowledge. I’m not trying convert anyone. I am explaining what things mean to me and others that share my faith. I want people to try to see that there is room in the world for more than one kind of belief system. I do my best to respect others faith. I would like the same for mine.

Today has dawned sunny but cold. I think it is the cold snap that will drop all the leaves. The wind isn’t too strong but it is enough that the leaves are falling constantly as it blows. The maple trees behind the house might even be bare by the end of the night (which is fitting on Halloween!).

Tomorrow starts November. We are almost at the end of the calendar year. And Winter is on the way. I had a gentleman gas up yesterday morning who said he had moved here from Louisiana just to see snow. There was a bit falling (he had asked if it was snow and I tried not to give the well duh look, I’m glad I didn’t) and it was bitter cold out. He then said, “This is as cold as it will get right?” I’m afraid my eyes did give things away this time. “Oh no! We usually get down into the negative numbers. This is only the beginning.” His face fell. I could tell he was rethinking his move up here. I didn’t have the heart to tell him it was probably gonna be a very very cold winter this year regardless of how much snow we got.

I think I am going outside for a bit to enjoy the sun while we have it. It has been so dark lately. It is welcome change. Thanks for reading! Stay safe!

Animals, Being Pagan, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, Gardening, Life, Nature, Thinking, Writing

Feeling the Connection

Today I am trying new old things.  I have lit a stick of my Creativity incense and I am listening to music via my ear buds.  Back when I was deep into my writing craft I would start every session of writing with some incense that I loved and music.  Unfortunately my stereo has ceased to function many years ago so all my CDs have been unused unless it is in the car.  I miss that.  I miss the music as I write.  So, here I am giving it another go.

I have also started watering more of the back gardens.  I was just watering the bases of the milkweed to keep them healthy for the bees and butterflies but since I purchased a round sprinkler I can cover more area so yesterday I watered two new spots.  The milkweed and pots that had been watered the night before didn’t show any visible signs of needing water despite the heat so I did two other gardens.  I may do some watering in the front but they are to the north and don’t need as much as what I have behind the house to the south.

I also finally planted Minion’s garden yesterday.   When Minion died I took his pool and cut it so it would fir around the base of the tree but I had minimal dirt and no money to get more so I put what I had in and left it.  It’s been that way for about two or three years… three years.  Well I got a big bag of dirt the other day and I looked at it yesterday morning and then looked at the half hearted project and decided to finish it.  I had some seeds left over so I planted some food stuffs to the south and the rest is flowers.  I watered it well.  I stepped back and was pleased with myself.  Finally a long ago project done.  And it felt good to garden.  I will try to water them every morning after Chris gets up (the hose turn on point is just outside the bedroom window).

I am also working on my spirituality.  Working in the gardens has gotten me back to my Wiccan roots.  I find myself being more in tune with my surroundings.  I notice more.  I can walk through all those flowers packed with bees and once I say excuse me (or us if the dogs are with me) none of the bees or other insects bother me/us.  And those flowers are packed with insects.  No one gets stung or even dive bombed by irritated insects.  Birds will hang out in the yard while we are all out there doing whatever.  It feels good to have that connection with things again.

So that is where I am right now.  As well as some of the places I’d like to go.  Thanks for reading!  Have a great day and stay safe!

Being Pagan, History, Holiday, Learning, Life, the World

Blessed Winter Solstice!

Today is the Winter Solstice.  It is the longest night of the year.  Many ancient structures are set around the Winter and Summer Solstices.  The structures show the sun cascading thru varioous portals to hit an exact spot that is only possible on that particular day. For Pagans it represents renewal of life as the sun becomes stronger and begins to overpower darkness and night.

The celebration of the Winter Solstice or Yule has many carry overs to modern Christmas.  The Christmas tree and decorating with holly for instance.  Originally the trees brought in were potted so that they could be planted outside in the Spring but the Evergreen represented just that life, rebirth and renewal.    Holly was brought into homes a protection against evil.  They also represent hope for the renewing sun.  Wreaths were made to represent the circle of life and the wheel of the year.  It would be decorated with symbols that represented what the family was hoping to achieve with the renewal of the the sun.

Looking into the history of various holidays (or holy days) is quite fascinating. To be able to see how traditions started and where they come from is something I will never tire of.

I hope everyone has a blessed Solstice! Thanks for reading!

Being Pagan, Learning, Life, Nature

Blessed Samhain!

Today is one of the most sacred days on the Pagan calendar.  Today is the day when we can talk with those who have left us in life.  It is when “the veil is thinnest.”  It is much life going to a sacred spot where you can feel the life energies flow and being able to communicate with your higher power (be that Goddess, God, Yahweh or whatever your belief) like they are sitting next to you.

Many people think that any celebrations we do on this day (we being Pagans) involves communicating with the devil (something that is not even in our belief system).  It does not.  We talk to loved ones that have passed celebrate the turning of the seasons.  From here on out Mother Nature is taking a rest to recoup the energies she has spent bringing forth all the plants and then keeping them going through their life cycles. Everything around us is going dormant until Spring.

This has always been one of my favorite holy days.  Not just because of the candy and unlimited access to horror movies but because of the strength and the solitude of the season. I am a solitary Pagan (I don’t celebrate or have rituals with other Pagans) and I feel that this day for me is the strongest connection to the Goddess and God as well as my ancestors. I guess the easiest way to explain it is to compare it to cell phone reception. If you are in a good spot you can almost hear a pin drop on the other side. If the connection is a bit off words may fade in and out or the call might get dropped. A simplistic analogy to be sure but you get the idea.

I don’t know if this has helped anyone get a better understanding of things. I hope so. If you have any questions please feel free to ask.

We woke up to snow this morning. No one was too happy about it. I did take some pictures. Thank you for reading! Have a great day!

Being Pagan, Emotions, Life, the World, Thinking

Please Read

Now I will do my best not to shove my beliefs down other people’s throats, be they political or religious or whatever.  I usually state my piece then move on.  If someone wants to discuss things I am open to that too.  But to tell me that I am wrong just because I am different than you, because I chose to have different beliefs than you… that both hurts and makes me angry.  So excuse me as I get on my soap box for a moment.

I have made no secret that I am a Pagan.  I don’t tout that but I don’t hide it either.  I happen to follow a few Christian writers because I think they write well about things.  I try to avoid the posts that I don’t agree with.  I won’t make any comments or like them.  I just keep scrolling.  They have some good meditations and ideas but if I disagree I move on.  This morning I was going through and reading what I could before I began my post and there was a post that just blatantly called my beliefs Satanic.  We don’t even believe in a devil!

Now I am trying to word all this correctly because I have friends that are Christian and respect my beliefs.  Lashing out is not going to get my point across.  I don’t tell others what to believe.  As long as it hurts no one and it helps you knock yourself out.  I’m not saying that my religion (yes I am using the word religion) is right but it is right for me.  I went to Catholic schools and they were open minded enough to let me ask questions as a child.  I was allowed to think for myself.  I found the path that was right for me.  Just because I don’t believe something doesn’t give me the right to judge someone else.  Nor do they have the right to judge me.  Live and let live.

I am not going to be led by threats of something I don’t believe in.  I’m not going to be led by threats at all.  So I do apologize.  This was not meant to be a soap box post.  But my hackles go up when someone starts essentially bashing my beliefs.  Thank you for reading.  I hope you have a great day!