Animals, anxiety, Automotive, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Wanted: Sleep and Relaxation

Just one more shift. I plan to cancel my doctor appointment for Wednesday. It was to renew a prescription for medicine I haven’t taken. Besides, I need to stay home and rest more than anything. I think I managed to get one of the colds that is going around work. It doesn’t help when a coworker will cough directly into her hands and then continues on with whatever she is doing. Atleast she doesn’t sneeze into her hands as well.

Today will be Chris’s first day back. I hope he does well. I think he should be ok. He has bounced back well from being sick. Today will also be the first day in several weeks that the girls will be alone. I think they should be ok but I will still worry. I will get out at 8pm tonight. If it is like last night we were dead by around 7pm. We had maybe three or four customers our last two hours. Once it started snowing (and raining) again yesterday people came out and did what they needed to and went home. As I haven’t seen anyone go by since we got up I think today will be more of the same.

I was almost run off the road by the plow truck last night on the way home. He was going down the middle of the road and expected me to pull off to let him continue down the middle of the road (he was driving toward me from the front). At the last minute he swerved back into his lane when he saw that I wasn’t pulling over. To make matters worse all the driver was doing was uncovering ice. Nor was he putting any salt or sand down.

I didn’t sleep much last night despite being tired. I feel like I didn’t sleep at all to be honest. I need to remember to get meat for the girls for the next two days. That way I don’t have to go anywhere. If I can get sleep tonight my goal is to get some work on my novel. I need to atleast go through and decide when to start cutting so I can start the new storyline. I might snag a few big paper clips from work instead of tearing the pages out of the notebook. Less mess that way.

I need to wrap this up so I can start to get ready for work. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Automotive, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Travel, Writing

(Don’t) Let It Snow… Wait, Too Late

Today is a hibernate day. Since we got up the now has started falling again. As the minutes wear on it gets thicker and thicker. I guess it’s pretty if you like that kind of thing. But when you have to drive in it… I am just grateful that I work only a few minutes away. I wonder how busy we will be tonight.

I slept about 11 hours last night. I was in bed by dark and didn’t make it much past 9pm. Stella needed out a few minutes to 8am so I just stayed up. We’ll see how my voice is today. It was going out by the time I got home with all the talking. Word had gotten out that I was back so everyone was stopping by.

Not a whole lot of traffic this morning. I wondered how the church goers would react. I guess a lot of the churches run their services online so that makes it easier on days like today. I wonder if the plow trucks will be out. They never came out when we had that freeze and ice was all over. Last year they would’ve been out by now. That doesn’t bode well for the rest of the season.

We have a music battle going on at work. Normally Christmas music doesn’t start until December 1st rolls around. This year it started right after Thanksgiving. All of us (with the exception of the store manager who feels about Christmas like I do about Halloween… celebrate it all year) are over it. So when he walks out the door for the day the music gets changed. We’ll be able to that for a few more days atleast.

Hmmm, we are under a winter weather advisory. 2-6 inches (5-15cm) over the course of the day. We got several inches yesterday. Gonna be a thick Winter I think. I might actually have to get some boots to wear.

Chris seems to have bounced back rather well from being sick. Unfortunately I seem to either still be sick or have caught a cold. I am still coughing, I sound like I have a cold when I talk, my nose is still running and it is still difficult to breathe. We’ll see how the week goes I guess. I have Tuesday and Wednesday off. I have a meeting one day and a doctor’s appointment the next. I think I am going to call off the doctor’s appointment since it is just for my prescriptions for my back. I have barely touched them while I have been off so I have plenty if I need them. And truthfully since I’m not feeling quite up to snuff I would like to use the time off and not do much. I have been wearing my masks while I am out and about so I can still do that for the meeting.

I took a few photos yesterday when I got home but I will take a few more to compare our snowfall. I hope you all have a great day! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Holiday, Learning, Life, Medical, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Thinking, Writing

Anyone Seen Me?

And here we are… Stella has come out here with me while Essie has gone back to bed. Both have eaten. Chris hasn’t gone to bed yet. I feel like I haven’t. I think maybe 3-4 hours of sleep. I was awake around 3am and just shut my eyes off and on while I waited for my alarm to go off. My poor girls are all confused with my schedule. I keep telling myself 2pm and you are out of there.

I do need to do my cigarette order today. I think I have everything I need to do so. I have two companies that we order from so I will have to call someone once the sun is up from the one because I have nothing to order online with. I wish we just got it all from one but there it is. The other company just sends it with our trucks.

People are getting sick off and on through out the store. Some colds. Some not. I know I am not feeling much better. I feel like I am getting a cold. Or have a cold might be more accurate. I am making it a point to wear a mask at work. I am tired of being sick. I cannot afford to stay home.

I sit here and stare into the dark. And yawn. I wanted to try to work on the novel but I am just too tired. I am so excited over the new ideas but I can do nothing with them. I fell asleep several times on my Kindle trying to read last night. I would wake up to see Essie watching me with a look that asked me why the light was still on. After the third time I gave up.

I don’t know what I have for photos because I certainly did not get any taken yesterday. I put my laptop away and got ready for work once I had this posted. I will go through and see. I hope you all have a great day! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Cooking/Baking, Creativity, Emotions, family, Food, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Travel, Writing

First Day Back

I fell so rushed. I am not. I have plenty of time. I just feel like I am under the gun because I am going back to work for the first time in… almost two weeks? I think it would be two on Saturday. Wow. It doesn’t seem like that long. But here we are.

Yesterday went well. Not long after Chris got up I was looking through some things I had printed for story ideas and I had a bit of an epiphany with my novel. I will have to get rid of most of what I have already written but that is ok. I scribbled about a page of notes and ideas.

Meanwhile Chris put the turkey in the smoker for a bit before we decked it out and put it in the oven. I made the stuffing and a pumpkin pie from scratch. We rotated use of the oven over the course of the day. Everything was ready to go by 5pm. The food turned out awesome (what I could taste of it… I was a bit bummed at that).

The only downside was the several inches of snow that we got and Essie not feeling good. She would not eat. She just sniffed any food that was offered. She would play and if the play did not continue she went right to sleep. She was scaring me. In the end Chris got her to eat some turkey as he was cleaning the meat off the bird after we ate.

Anyone who says that dogs do not understand what we say is wrong. Case in point, I asked Chris last night if he wanted me to shut the door like normal when I got up or just leave it open. He said not to worry about shutting the door. So what happens? Essie gets up with me, eats, goes outside and goes back to bed. Then Stella comes out, eats, goes outside and goes back to bed. Normally they both will come out to eat and while they are eating I will shut the bedroom door so they stay out here with me. They know the drill.

Ok, I had better wrap this up and get myself together. I need to leave a few minutes early because I am pretty sure that no plow trucks have gone by to even salt this mess outside. I did get a few photos so I will share those. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Cooking/Baking, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Food, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

The Whimsy of Turkey Day

It is actually darker than when we got up over an hour ago! Geez… The wind has been steadily picking up too. Stella is behind me on the love seat covered by a blanket. My poor Essie is up and down on the couch, in and outside, with me and at the bedroom door on the blankets. It was actually her that got me up at 7 or 7:30 this morning needing to go out. Her tummy has gotten louder and louder. I wish I knew what was wrong. She didn’t have anything out of the ordinary and she is not one of those dogs that goes randomly eating things (that would be Stella).

Today is Thanksgiving and Chris asked me to get him up at 10am so that he can get things started on the smoker. I also need to get motivated as I will be making pumpkin pie from scratch. I have a small pumpkin, that is in perfect condition still, that someone left outside at work. It is the perfect size for a pie. Someone left it about mid October and I adopted it. I plan to save the seeds and use them for the garden.

It will be just the four of us again this year. And honestly that is ok with us. I am trying not to think if my work schedule the next three days. I was a bit concerned to not have anything deposited yesterday since that is normally when our direct deposit goes in. Apparently the new banking system puts it in late if there is a holiday that week? I’m not sure but when I asked the store manager what was up he said that things would be in our accounts on Friday. He also added that if I needed money before then to let him know, which I really appreciate.

Sleep was elusive last night. I got a few hours but I don’t know what time the curtain got closed in the door way because the bedroom was too dry. Even though the water was going on the stove once that curtain comes down it’s like shutting the door. I almost came out to sleep on the couch. I kept coughing and could not get rid of the tickle. It feels much better since we have been out here. I have also turned the burner up.

I have not photos to share so I guess before I can post this I need to take a few. It is so dark and blah…. On a high note I do believe I may have a slight twist to put in my novel. I think it will work very well. I just need to get it down on paper. Once I mull things over a bit…. But photos first. Thanks for reading! I hope you all have a fab day! Be safe!

Animals, anxiety, Automotive, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Blowing the Cobwebs Off and Out

I always get concerned if the light is off (as in doesn’t look right) when we get up in the morning. It had a sickly yellowy orange cast to it. There was a lot of blue sky but even that seemed off. Now the skies have darkened considerably with thick and angry looking clouds.

Well yesterday was extremely busy for us. We were out the door around 12:30pm so that we could get in line to be tested for COVID. We started at the hospital only to find out that the testing place was down the street. It wasn’t that far. It took a bit longer than expected. We waited in Angus so that wasn’t so bad. The nurses came out to the cars and got information and proceeded to give tests. As I was getting mine I noticed that the bag she was going to put mine in did not have my name on the vial. I pointed this out (the nurse was very nice and knew what she was doing, the wind kept blowing the stickers off her finger as she tried to put them on the bags and we were chatting). She gave me both my tests and then excused herself to make sure that my tests got into the correct vial. That is really when the wait began. I think it was another 15 minutes or so before she was back out to take care of Chris. (Both of our rapid tests came back negative. We are waiting for the antigen test results though.)

I do have to say that Angus and I enjoyed stretching our legs! I love how fun that car is to drive! And the roads around here are just perfect for letting my hair down! I’m pretty sure Chris had fun because when we got home he turned on the X-Box and started playing one of his racing games, lol.

Around 5pm or so my body told me in no uncertain terms that it was done for the day. We hadn’t done a lot but it was more than normal for us. After testing we came home for a few minutes (the water I had while we waited went through rather quickly) then loaded up the girls to pick up our groceries. When we got home I put stuff away and played a little with the girls. Both seemed to enjoy going for the ride.

As soon as dark hit I was ready for bed. Unfortunately I had to stay up until atleast 10pm for Friday’s shift. I am really not looking forward to going to work this weekend. I have a bad feeling about it all. Too much too soon. If yesterday is any indication of my stamina then I am not going to be doing too well. Especially not with an eleven hour day right out of the gate promptly followed by no sleep (I will get five hours max) and an early morning the next day. So we’ll see.

I did get some photos yesterday. The clouds had the ripples so that usually means that we have precipitation on the way. If we don’t get it today I will be surprised. I also got a few shots this morning of the sky. The colors don’t really come across but the oddness does. Atleast I can see it. Maybe because I am odd?

The morning is silent outside. No birds anywhere. Nor wind. So we will see how the day transpires. I hope you all have a great day! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

anxiety, Automotive, Creativity, Emotions, family, Holiday, Learning, Life, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Ups and Downs… Here We Go Again

Dammit. I started my usual morning routine and was cooking along when my laptop screen went black. Nothing I do will change it either. Power button doesn’t work nor does control, alt, delete. It just sits there. Well it flashed like it was going to do something then nothing. Oh geez. I never noticed that it had no replaceable battery. So I guess pulling that won’t work. I will just let the battery run down I guess. It shouldn’t take long. The battery like gets shorter and shorter. Pretty soon I will be plugging it in and leaving it there to use it. So I will keep writing this on my phone.

Well that cranks my anxiety level up a few more notches. My other reasons are we are both going to get tested today to see if we can go back to work and if I do go back Friday my schedule is shit (pardon my language). I will working just short of 30 hours my three days back. Friday I am 11am to 9pm (but since I am closing manager read it as 10pm when I will get out). Saturday I am 7am to 2pm (but since I am opening manager read it as I come in at 6:15am). Sunday is a meager 1pm to 9pm (which again I am manager so 10pm will be when I get out). I think he is just trying to get me a decent paycheck but still…..😱

I keep fiddling with my laptop…. Hang on! Was it just doing an update?! Let me save this and find out.

Later… Ok, the laptop is running again. That’s all I can think of is that it was doing an update. Sooo atleast that is one less thing to worry about. I am not looking forward to the next few days. There is so much going on all of the sudden. Too much. So I will try to breathe through it. It will be really interesting if I get a positive test still. I guess try again later? I hope I am not expected to go every day to find someplace to find a rapid result test and take it. The local hospital does it only on specific days so that will mean driving all the way into Traverse City. My car does get good gas mileage but I am not driving all the way across Traverse every day to have something shoved up my nose.

As I stare across the room I am feeling a bit hunted. Suddenly it feels as though everyone wants something from me now. I see that the sun is out today. Atleast Mother Nature has taken some pity on me, lol. I had better wrap this up so I can get it posted. I did get a few photos yesterday so I just have to download them. Thank you for reading! Stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, the World, Thinking, Writing

Rain or Snow? Or Yes?

All is quiet this morning. Except the gurgles of Essie’s tummy. She let me sleep in but when she needed up she needed out. Poor baby girl. She can’t get up on the couch by herself anymore. I have to help her or she will fall on her back like a turtle. She gets very embarrassed. But she will, grudgingly, let me help her up if I ask.

It is another dark day here. No light change to speak of as the day goes on. Only light or darkness. I have finally put the birdfeeder up in the trees til Spring. It is out of the weather and it gives the birds a little shelter while they eat. So far I have seen the woodpecker I shared yesterday and a ton of little sparrows. No one else has come to eat. I put the feeder up Friday afternoon after filling it as putting the last of my suet squares in. The seed and suet have almost doubled in price with the new company. I will need to find another place to buy it. I hope the Dollar General carries it.

We are supposed to get a rain/snow mix over the course of the day. I hope we do. It will atleast be some kind of change. Everything looks as if it has been washed in a sepia color tank. I for one am over it.

I am trying something new. Last night I had the idea to keep a big pot of quietly boiling water on the stove. We don’t have the big 5 gallon brew pot in the house but I got one of the big pasta pots and filled it with water. I asked Chris to leave the blackout curtain at the bedroom door up until he came to bed (I think he either forgot or put it down to get something from the kitchen late because I woke up with a tickle around 2:30am and contemplated going out on the couch to sleep) to let some of the moisture get into the bedroom since it gets so dry at night. I turned it up when I got up though. It was at hot bath temperature and it needs to be at a slow boil. Otherwise it won’t do us any good. I might go out into the garage and get the big 5 gallon pot. I did notice a difference when the curtain was open though.

The girls’ food never arrived yesterday. I am very frustrated. On the Chewy app it said Tuesday then it was changed to Saturday. When I went to the FedEx tracking it said Saturday as well but it said that it was “early” because Sunday was the original date. I watched several FedEx trucks go by (probably the same truck but you get the idea) and I kept checking the app. “Saturday by end of day” it what it kept saying. So I tried not to worry. But I am because kibble is getting tight (well not as tight since Essie hasn’t eaten breakfast). So hopefully today sometime???

I did not talk to either parent on the phone. Mom and I chatted via text and I never got a response to the email I sent so I might try today. We’ll see. After a shower though. I think I am feeling better but then I try to do something “normal” and I am winded and/or feeling light headed. I know my mood is improving despite the weather. My anxiety is kicking in at odd points and my pinched nerve is creeping back in. My right leg has had a “gently” pinched nerve (it doesn’t actively hurt per say but it is very uncomfortable) for two days now. My back wasn’t happy yesterday either. I thought about trying some yoga stretches but then I got winded just walking to the kitchen.

I hear some new bird song at the feeder. I will go take some photos (hopefully get this posted sooner that yesterday’s hour after I finished) and see who is new. I hope you are all well! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Food, Friends, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, the World, Thinking, Writing

Still Able To Make A Difference

I struggled for breathe as my body realized that it had to cough and fought not to. Just before 6am. I coughed once after several drinks of unhelpful water. I even got out of bed and went into the bathroom and took some cough medicine but as soon as I walked back into the bedroom the tickle started again. Tried laying down, more water but I finally gave up. I quietly sat up and stared into the darkness. It was too early to get up but there was no way I was going back to sleep. So I gathered my goodies and came out into the living room. Essie followed so she and I snuggled up on the couch together until around 8:30am.

I think I ended up doing too much yesterday and had a set back. I got dishes washed, groceries ordered and put away (I love my coworkers!), managed to have a decent conversation with my Mom and chatted via text with several coworkers. I also played a lot with the girls. Essie left her frisbee out somewhere in the yard and could not find it. After several minutes of asking her to go get it I found I was having trouble breathing and really needed to sit down. So my temper flared at myself and I told Essie to get her butt inside. I sat watching tv on my own for the next hour or so.

Another thing I did yesterday was renew my title of “Pitbull Whisperer.” This became my nickname at Younker’s when I was able to calm Pitbull pups that were freaking out by talking to them and holding them. They would fall asleep in my arms. I educated several people on Pitbulls in my time there and many have since become Pitbull advocates. I still get calls and messages from friends and family asking for help with dog problems in general but more often than not they deal specifically with Pitties. I got one such message from a friend about some issues she was having with her new rescue Pitty. We messaged back and forth for an hour or so. I gave her some suggestions that I think will help (her rescue may have been abused and has many problems that we had with Stella when we first got her). It makes me feel good to know that I can still make a difference.

It looks as though we used up our quota of blue sky and sunshine yesterday. We are once again wrapped in a thick cloudy blanket. On the plus side I believe that the girls’ kibble and toys should arrive today (I had to bump things up for free shipping and the girls really have been very good through all this). So I will unbox it all when it arrives and dole out the goodies. They were really excited last night to actually get beef again for dinner. I ordered several containers worth for them. It had been several days since we ran out.

I am thinking about calling my parents today. I think I can make it. I almost did yesterday but I am glad I didn’t. I got too tired and winded. I am concerned about work and this happening. But I may try one parent today and the other tomorrow. Chris had a good chat with his brother yesterday. I was grateful for that. So we shall see what the afternoon holds. I know it holds a little treasure that I forgot I had. One of the many vehicles that got repo’d when I worked at the lot was packed full of books. GOOD books! And when they never came to claim anything I got to bring what I wanted home. This included several Stephen King books that I either did not have or had not read yet. On such gem was Stephen King’s Nightmares & Dreamscapes. I thought I had read all of his short story collections that I owned. But I was pleasantly surprised to find a lovely thick hardback in my collection that had said title that I had not read previously.

I see by the clock that I have been at this for longer than normal. I ought to get this posted and try to get my day started. I will see what I can do about a few photos as well. Thank you so much for all your kind words and support! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Food, Friends, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Movies, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Baby Steps

I hesitate to say that I feel better. Whenever I do I have a set back. I know Chris is feeling worse. I still have a week before I will be back at work. I have about half a week’s pay coming next Wednesday for this week. I still have to make sure that I have enough for my car payment and bike insurance set aside (yes we keep the motorcycles insured year round). I did order food for the girls. Unfortunately it will get here Tuesday. So I will be doling the kibble out til then. I hoped for a date a lot sooner. But I think we will be ok.

I can see blue sky through the cracks in the clouds. The clouds seem colorful today. There is white, grey, iron grey, cream. In some spots it looks as though someone forgot to tape over the “hole” where the blue sky is creeping in. Last night we were supposed to get all this lake effect snow. We barely got dusted. What did fall was mostly ice.

Both girls are hunkered down beneath blankets this morning. Both dreaming. They were rotating cuddle bugs last night as I watched a few movies. We did play more yesterday than normal. I tried to keep them busy without winding myself.

I got several sweet text messages from coworkers yesterday asking how we were (and when I was coming back). It’s nice that I am not being treated like a pariah for being sick. That is what normally happens. Me not being there…. I am missed. I’m not being made to feel that my being sick is an inconvenience because they have more work to do. It is a unique feeling for me, not being made to feel guilty for being sick.

Then there is Mom. When she has texted she asks why we aren’t in the hospital or what medicine are we taking. When I try to explain that it is like a very bad case of the flu and we are just riding it out (barring extreme symptoms) she just stops talking to me. The problem is that Mom was in the medical field so she thinks that there is a magic pill we can take to fix it. She doesn’t understand just riding it out (which is something she had me do a lot as a child) and it will get better. I am frustrated because if I try to explain I just get shot down. She knows better than me what I am going through because she has read about it. So I just try to text as little as I can without seeming rude.

I can’t believe that next week is Thanksgiving! We just finished Halloween! Christmas will be here before we know it (and I have gotten nothing for anyone so far). Then the first of the new year…. I am honestly dreading it. It will be a year that Moose has been gone. Not an anniversary I want to celebrate.

I did accomplish a lot yesterday. It took me all day but I got the plants watered, shed door closed (twice since it was open again this morning), laundry done and put away (ok, I have the stuff that is still in the dryer to put away yet but still) and I got our bedding all washed and put back on the bed. It took a lot out of me but if felt good to see that I did something besides sit on my butt all day.

I am contemplating groceries. Not going shopping but seeing if I can do our curbside (a cool thing that we started doing when COVID hit in 2020). I really need to get us some stuff. I might ask if anyone would drop it off if they are uncomfortable with me picking it up. I don’t know if I should be out and about (I still feel pretty lightheaded) but I need to get out of the house.

Speaking of things that need to be done I see that my laptop battery is rapidly disappearing. So I need to wrap this up. Thanks for listening and thanks for all the support! Stay safe!