Aging, Animals, Books, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, History, Life, Thinking

The Big Day

Well the day is finally here!  It is hard to believe that I turn 48 years old today.  So much has happened over the course of my life… and so much is yet to happen.  I really am at a loss as to what to write about this morning.  I have spent a bit on Facebook this morning saying thank you for my birthday messages.  It gives me the warm fuzzies to know that people take time out of their day to wish me a happy birthday.  ❤

I think Moose is not happy.  Stella has taken to coming in the office with us in the morning.  Her spot seems to be at my feet under the chair.  He stretched and I told him “Good stretches!” and then Stella stretched as well.  Lol.

I’m sitting here looking at all the things I have collected over my years.  I have so many memories packed into my office!  And not just mine.  I have stuff from my parents trip to Italy as well as things from my Aunt Rita (well she was my great aunt).  I guess you could say they are little cast offs from people I care about.

Do you ever sit in a room and look at things and just let your mind wander?  That seems to be what I am doing this morning.  Mom sees my room as cluttered because there is so much but to me it is my history made accessible.  My book shelves are crammed full and then some but they are organized.  I have my knickknacks pretty much all over.  I have flags, posters, autographs, framed photos, license plates etc on the walls.  I even have a bunch of flies that Chris tied stuck to my corkboard.

Since my mind doesn’t seem to want to stay focused I will share a few “full” photos of my office.  It is my happy place.  Thanks for reading and have a great day!  Stay safe!

 

Aging, Animals, Dogs, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Nature, Thinking, Writing

Taking Time to Breathe

First off happy Independence Day to all my Indian friends!  As I am going through and reading blogs this morning this is a reoccurring theme so I will add my well wishes to the pot!

I find myself behind in what I wanted to get accomplished today.  I am trying to get everything done but at the same time I need to take some time to rest and regroup.  I think I will do as much as I can with my classwork today and since I have Monday off I will finish up then if I need to.  I don’t need to beat myself up with this.  I am finally getting into a good head space with my life.  I don’t need to let this mess things up.

Today is going to be my pre-birthday celebrations.  Since I work all day tomorrow I will spend time with Chris and the kids having fun today.  I cannot believe that I will be turning 48 tomorrow.  They might be doing something for me at work.  We’ll see, lol.

I passed my first set of classes and received my certificate yesterday.  I printed and saved a copy.  Just four more to go!  I do like the instructors so far.  They are diverse and articulate about their trade.  Although I do prefer the current instructor she is also more exacting about what she wants from her students.  Which is good but…. 🙂

I have Stella and Super Moose in her with me.  Super Moose is when he completely stretches out like he is flying.  Stella is stretched out beneath my chair.  The sky is overcast but it is still a beautiful day.  I got my plants more dirt and finally put the dirt in the respective containers last night.  I can’t believe how well they are all doing!  I have some green peppers coming in and the tomatoes are still growing.  I think the big plant is cherry tomatoes.  The ones have not gotten any bigger that a golf ball so I am just waiting for them to ripen.  I have never grown beans before so I don’t know what to look for in regards to what to harvest but they are very happy plants growing up the side of the tree.  The few tomato plants I have in there with them are doing very well.  I think I have some cucumber plants in there as well.  I kept the seed packets for what I put in there.  I just need to find them again.

I need to wrap this up and get to some of my classwork.  As always thanks for reading, stay safe and have a great day!

Aging, Animals, Dogs, family, Friends, Gardening, Life, Love, Photography, Thinking

Living Now But Remembering the Past

This morning has dawned cool and wet.  My back is telling me I did too much yesterday.  Which concerns me as it hurts because of the amount of time I spent standing.  This does not bode well for future employment.  I had this problem become very bad towards the end at Younkers.  That being said I did get a lot done.  I even uncovered our games from many years of dust.

Our games have not seen much use.  I am the one who will pull out  a deck of cards occasionally.  But I have been using my Minion cards that I received from a friend.  We also have Go, Chinese checkers, multiple chess boards, Scrabble, Cooking Scrabble, dominoes, Mancala… as well as a bunch that are not stashed beneath the table like Clue, UNO and some puzzles.  I remember when we were constantly entertaining and the games would be in constant use.  Now the kids have all grown up and friends have moved on.  Family too.  Mom and I don’t get together hardly ever anymore.  Dad and I haven’t talked in a few weeks because his internet service in Canada has suddenly decided to change his service to another company and charge him more if he uses anything (phone, computer or streaming services) til then.  I don’t understand how they can do that but this is the information Dad sent in an email to all of us.  Nothing til the middle of this month.  Which worries me because Dad will be completely cut off.

On a more positive note I did get all my classwork done and turned in.  I might start my next one this afternoon.  I would start it this morning but the kids are getting restless.  I may end up moving the laptop back into the living room on the mornings again.  We’ll see.  Essie did not eat this morning.  She has gone in and out of the office a few times.  I need to sit down and make one of my numerous lists as to what need to be done (money, job, etc).

I found another tomato on the plant yesterday.  It is small to be sure but it is there and growing.  I watered everyone yesterday because it has been dry but this rain should help move things along.  I need to replenish the dirt in the memorial garden as well (see what I mean about making lists?).  The dirt is settling as it dries so more needs to be added to keep the roots covered and add more nutrients.

We had a beautiful sunset on Saturday and I managed to get some gorgeous photos.  I will share a few.  Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Learning, Life, Thinking, Writing

Ending One Chapter and Writing a New One

We got good news yesterday!  Essie is cancer free!  The lump was benign.  I have been worried for so long it is going to take some doing not to be.  This afternoon I take Essie in to get her staples out.  And hopefully this will be the last vet visit for a while!

I need to make some changes around here.  Specifically to myself.  I need to figure out where I am and where I am going not that the scares with the animals is over.  I can focus on myself and school.  I need to do my class work today.  If nothing else I need to watch the videos today and then I can work on the writing portion this weekend.  I have been very good about keeping up the house so I do not have that as an excuse.

I will also try to work on alteast one of the novellas.  Hopefully both but I know if I work on the fiction (versus the horror one) I will get stuck and not work on either one.  The goal is to work on the horror one (that seems to be coming along quite well) and then sit and mull over the fiction one.  I am not sure why it has stalled out.  I keep saying it is because I don’t know enough about surfing (mostly the practical side) but I think the big thing is I’m not sure where the story is going.  I have all these great plans and they don’t feel like the right thing.  If they aren’t the right thing then what is?  So If I get one story worked on I can sit and mull over the second one and not feel guilty.

Tomorrow is August already.  I can’t believe how much has happened in the past 7 months!  And good grief my birthday is coming up… I suppose I should get myself moving.  Atleast I should watch some of the videos for class.  (The dogs want me to go outside and play with them so maybe I’ll wait?)  I want to say thank you to everyone who took the time to comment on my various posts and give their support and good vibes for Essie.  It means a lot.  Thanks, as always, for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Dogs, Emotions, family, Life, Love, Nature, Photography

A Little Drama Goes a Long Way

This will be a much shorter post than yesterday.  I’ve not been feeling good the past few days and not been getting much sleep.  This morning I am really wiped out.  I don’t think much is going to get done today.

Dad has been having more and more panic attacks… severe ones.  They are getting more frequent.  I am trying to keep up with them but it is hard.  If I can get him to talk on Facetime I can usually talk him out of it.  It may take a few hours but it can be done.  I think Dad is realizing how much he is losing as he gets older.  He turned 78 years old on Thursday.  He has had both hips replaced, cataract surgery on both eyes, hearing aids in both ears…. then there are his physical and mental limitations.  All this is staring him in the face and he is terrified.  There is also the fact that he is gay and was not able to fully live openly until about 5 years ago when I encouraged him to move to Montreal and fulfil a life long dream.  Now he is seeing all that he missed and feels that he cannot have as an older gay man.  And all that keeps piling up on him mentally.  Each week is gradually gets worse.  The face that he is on lockdown doesn’t help either.  I am not sure what to do other than just listen.  His medication is losing it effectiveness as well.

So I am hoping that I don’t get any emergency phone calls today.  I need to rest but if Dad needs to talk I’ve got to be there for him.  I just called Essie in from barking.  She heard some thing (I thought it was someone on the 2 track) and went flying out to bark.  She sounded a bit intense and was heading to the opposite side of the yard so I saved this and went to see what was up.  Turns out the neighbor to the east of us (the trailer that burned down last summer, I guess the guy died in the fire (maybe if I had seen it sooner to call it in sooner?) and his son has been living in the house that they had been building just across the property) is once again fighting with someone.  It’s usually his girlfriend.  But in the past there have been gun shots so I try to get Essie to shut up and come inside.  I don’t need him coming over here to shut up the dogs with a gun.

I guess I will wrap up this drama filled episode and go outside and read for a bit.  It is still comfortable out so I will enjoy it before the temperature get too hot.  I’ve got some cool shots that I got with the camera yesterday that I will share as well.  I managed to sneak a photo of a hummingbird leaving the feeder last night.  When you look at the picture she is to the left flying at the camera.  I am pretty proud of that one.  I also took a bunch of a monarch butterfly that has been hanging around.  She even played in the sprinkler yesterday!  It was so fun to watch! I tried to photograph all sides of my faery rise bush. I realized I had been only taking pictures of one side. She is just bursting with blooms!

Well thanks for reading and I hope you have a great day!  Stay safe!

Aging, Animals, Dogs, Emotions, family, Food, Life, Love

Essie, Moose and Stella

I guess today’s blog will be about the kids.  Today is Essie’s 10th birthday!  I can’t believe that we have had this little bundle of awesomeness for 10 years now.  Chris brought her home to me (or rather he stopped at my work with her) to replace me having to give up Lily Rose, another Pitty rescue.  Lily had bad separation anxiety and was destroying the house while we were at work.  There was nothing that helped.  So I got a little 7 week old puppy that I named Esmerelda May.  She has been with us ever since.  Baby girl has been through a lot in those 10 years.  She is one of the best dogs we’ve ever had.

Today we are also celebrating Moose’s birthday.  He turns 8 years old.  I rescued Moose locally before they put him down.  He was only 9 months old.  He has been my baby ever since.  He is too damn smart too.  There was the times he managed to open the sliding glass door and let himself and his siblings out.  And when he opened the side door and let everyone out.  Then there was the time he opened the oven…. you get the idea.  But he is my baby.  I can be gone for a few minutes and he is so butt wiggly happy when I get back.

Now we know today really is Essie’s birthday.  But I counted back from when I got Moose and that would make his birthday in July (if they are right about his age, I say that because the people I got him from it was their roommate’s dog and he couldn’t bear to give him away and asked them to take him to me).  So I decided that we would just celebrate both of them today.  If I have Stella’s age right she can celebrate with me as she was born in August.

And speaking of Moose and Stella there is a local restaurant named after them!  Chris and I stopped at one of our local places we might eat at every few months yesterday.  It was a fun train themed tiny place with really good food.  Imagine our surprise to find that the place as now called Moose and Stella’s and was now dog themed!  The décor was all dog stuff: plaques with sayings about dogs, dog bowls, dog photos etc.  When we got home I looked at my Moose and Stella and told them it was about time they picked up some of the bills since they have their own restaurant!  The food was amazingly good (I had one of Moose’s burgers) and we will definitely be going back.  I may need to see if I can get a tee shirt….

I will leave you with some photos of all three babies.  I am very blessed to be able to call them mine.  I hope you have a great day!  Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, Creativity, Emotions, family, Life, Photography, Thinking

Minions to the Rescue

This morning I sit here typing as I sip from my new Minion mug.  My box of Minion stuff arrived yesterday.  I now have a full sized Bob, a Bob nightlight that is light sensitive (turns itself off during the day and on at night unless I switch the light on), my new Kevin mug and a Minion towel (it is covered in happy Minions).  It cheered me up quite a bit.  This is actually my second Minion mug.  One of my associates got me a nice big one for Christmas one year.

Today is Father’s Day here in the U.S.  I don’t know if I will be able to talk to Dad or not this afternoon.  He has taken another turn for the worse.  This time it has started with his tinnitus.  It is loud enough that he is having problems thinking.  When he sent me the email there were misspellings.  Which concerns me.  The last time his spelling started going bad he had a psychotic episode.  I will try to give him a call regardless.

I am getting Chris two t shirts that he wanted for Father’s Day.  He is working again so we will celebrate tomorrow.  Tomorrow is also the Summer Solstice.  Holy cow… Or maybe I should say crow.  I can hear this loud cawing coming from our back yard.   It has to be just on the other side of the fence!  Ok… I went to look.  I found the tree it is in (apparently with a bunch of other birds as I spooked some when I came out) but the leaves on the tree are hiding it.  Once in a while there is an answering caw from the East.

I got a bit of sad news the other day that was confirmed today be email.  My favorite Magic Hat No. 9 will no longer be made in Vermont.  They are closing down the plant.  I guess they are moving to their parent company in New York and opening a plant.  I didn’t know that Magic Hat had had to sell themselves to stay afloat.  They had always touted themselves as being owned by the employees.  The whole situation makes me sad.  I am sensing the end of an era for me.  I wonder how much longer they will last.  Damn damn damn.

Well I am going to wrap this up.  I will share a photo of my Minion stuff and a cool shot I got last night of a bird on our mailbox.  I’m pretty happy with how the bird on the mailbox came out.  I hope you have a great day.  Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, Creativity, Dogs, Life, Movies, Thinking

New Is Not Necessarily Improved

Atleast the sun is out.  The nights have been cold.  I guess that can keep the bugs down.  Moose and Stella are beside me vying for my attention.  I type a few words then scratch and love them. Ahhh Stella has just gone outside to lay in the sun.  Moose is behind me on the love seat.

I find myself being drawn back into horror movies.  So many of them are just…. so uninteresting.  I am beyond over with zombie flicks.  It has been years since a good werewolf movie has been made.  The same can be said for vampire movies as well.  Ghosts seem to be doing pretty well though.  And demons.  I watched
Don’t Knock Twice” last night and was pleasantly surprised.  The basic premise is if you knock twice on door of a certain house where and old woman commit suicide she would come and get you.  The usual camp fire story.  But what they did with it made me pull out a notebook and start jotting ideas.  They had believable twists and turns that enhanced the story.  The underlying story is about a rehabed and now successful mom trying to get her teenage daughter that she gave up to the system back.  The whole storyline was well done and very compelling.  The characters are well thought out.  Even minor characters may or may not become more as the story unravels.  It is very well done on all fronts.\

There have been so many horror movies that have been touted as being so fabulous and everyone needs to see them then you watched them and wonder how much money was paid to critics to say that.  People just rehash the same stuff over and over with no originality.  I guess that has been one of my big complaints as I’ve gotten older.  Instead building from ideas and stories and giving them a new spin they think they can remake something and call it good.  For instance a lot of the cartoons when I was growing up (oh let’s pick two off my favorites… Winnie the Pooh and Scooby Doo) get remade.  And remade badly.  They make these iconic characters into some thing they are not.  They completely change them so that they resemble the originals in name only.  Now there have been some well done updates to Scooby Doo (not the cartoon series… those new ones all really suck).  The live action movies I didn’t think I would like but I really do.  And my all time favorite is when the tv series “Supernatural” used it in season 13 I believe.  Soooooo my favorite!  One of the few times something has lived up to all the hype!

I will probably watch some more horror once Chris leaves for work this afternoon.  Although I do need to throw more toys over the course of the day.  I didn’t tire the kids out enough last night so they are restless this morning.  I should probably wrap this up so I can get outside while the sun is out.  Thanks for reading and I hope you have a great day!  Stay safe!

Aging, Dogs, Emotions, family, Life, Nature

Mental Health Matters

Yesterday started out well enough.  When Chris got up I took Moose and did the running.  Once we were settled back home I tried calling Mom (no answer) then Dad.  Dad and I Facetimed for a bit but had to hang up with the promise to call back later.  Meanwhile I called Mom back.  We chatted and Dad called a few times while we talked.  I hung up with her and tried calling Dad back.  Two rings then it disconnected.  I figured he was pissed off because I did not answer right away.  I tried a few more times and same thing.  Ok, fine.  I showered and we had dinner.

Things exploded after that.  Dad sends me these garbled emails that make no sense but maybe one word out of what was supposed to be a sentence.  I try Facetime again.  Nothing.  More emails (I sent both texts and emails but got no response from them) that are garbled.  Now I am freaking out.  I miss a phone call from him and he leaves a three minute message thinking he is talking to me and I am not responding.  He says he is calling 911 and gives me all this information about his doctor and to call and, and, and…

I hunt down his partners phone number and call panicked and in tears.  I explain everything that has happened and ask for help.  He says he will go right over and see what is going on and call me back when things are under control.  Flash forward about two hours and I get a phone call from Dad but it is his partner calling.  They put me on speaker phone so I can talk to both of them.  Dad never called 911.  His partner got things straightened out there (I won’t got into detail with all that) so Dad seemed to be coming out of his fugue.  In my eyes he had a psychotic break.  He doesn’t remember much other than he couldn’t get Facetime to work (it seems to be broken on his computer).  So.  That was my day.

To end this post on a good note I bought myself a new glass hummingbird feeder and put it up.  Within say 30 minutes of putting it up we had our first hummingbird arrive.  She even stayed while I was on the phone and the kids were in the yard playing.

I hope your day goes well.  Be safe and thanks for reading…

Aging, Emotions, family, Life, Motorcycles, Nature, Riding, the World, Thinking

What the Future May Hold

Apparently there is something wrong with the laptop. It acts like it gets online but then it cannot find anything online. So I guess I will be doing the blog on my phone. Joy. It if frustrating because it gets online for my email but it cannot find anything once I get into the main search program.

I am trying not to be frustrated with my Mom. If I tell her about Dad’s family or a mutual friend she turns nasty and starts making derogatory comments. To which I always reply keeping things is a positive light but I am getting tired of the nastiness. It is pervading more and more of our conversations regardless of the topic. So no, I can’t not mention someone or something and she will stop. She is turning into a bitter woman. And she knows that she is too. She just doesn’t care. It is very frustrating.

I ended up doing my main yoga routine outside on the deck yesterday. I still surprise myself as to how much I can still do. There are only a few poses that I can’t do fully. I’m pretty proud of that! Now to just keep it worked onto my morning routine… and that will mean getting up early when I finally go back to work. But there it is.

I find myself unhappy that the lockdown is ending. Mostly because I will have to deal with people on a regular basis. Despite being able to highly function when I am out and about I don’t do well with people. I don’t like going out and being around them. This seems to have developed over the past few years. On the outside you would never know but on the inside…. that is why I am thinking I might stock groceries or something instead of deal directly with the public (such as being a cashier). The lockdown has really brought out the ugly in people here in Michigan. I just don’t want to deal with it.

It sounds like Chris will finally have a weekend off! Yay! I know he wants to dig into his project bike (I want to get the Pearl into the garage and out of that cramped shed too). I offer to help as a) I enjoy stuff like that and b) his shoulder might prevent him from doing something. It should be fun for both of us. If my arm is stable enough I might take Rogue out for my “around the block” run (about a 30 minute ride). I am just concerned that I won’t be able to hold the grip. There are times when my right hand will just let go of whatever I’m holding. Not a good thing on the motorcycle.

Goodness! I have been going on! I need to wrap this up and go and read your posts! I hope you and yours are safe! Thanks for reading!