Aging, Animals, anxiety, Dogs, Emotions, family, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Brief and Teary

This is going to have to be very short as I don’t have much time this morning. I couldn’t bring myself to get up any earlier. I’ve only got a few hours of sleep as it is.

Yesterday did go pretty well until I was shown the puppies we were thinking about getting. Then it all rather fell apart.

Today is Dad’s birthday. He turns 80 years old. How can he be 80? I need to send him a text and email later today. I don’t want to wake him up with any of his phone notifications.

I will add some repeat photos and try to get some new ones later today. Thanks for reading and stay safe.

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Holiday, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Rambly Me

This morning has dawned a bit chilly despite the sunshine. I am enjoying my first cup of coffee. Stella got up long enough to eat and go outside. I don’t blame her. I can barely keep my eyes open myself. I woke up at one point to glance at the clock trying to figure out if I had the day off or not. Just today and tomorrow. But my brain also remembers the last day off. That would be last Friday. With everything that has been going on it has been a super long week.

We got a good rain last night, so everything looks fresh and happy. I will get out with the camera and get some photos to share. I didn’t get any yesterday. My days are all starting to mush together. I don’t like it when that happens. I feel like a paint mix of many colors that is just is slowly blending together.

Stella has come out to lay by me. She is getting loved on, so she is happy. Tonight will be the hardest. I am closing manager so I could be home as late as 10:30pm. Then back up at 5am for work the next day. I might be asleep by midnight. I might not. I will be tired enough. I am worried about her hips though. I should probably start giving her glucosamine again. When she stretches she has loud popping noises. She did that when we first got her because her hips popped in and out easily from the abuse she’d had. We knew that she would have problems as she got older. She will be like her sister and not let on that she is in pain.

This weekend will be the actual start of the silly season. The National Cherry Festival kicks off in Traverse City. No one wants to be anywhere near Traverse this time of year. I should probably wrap this up. I am not really focusing on this anymore. I will go and get a few photos to share then get this posted. Sorry for the rather long ramble. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Sussing Out the Breadcrumbs

There is so much rolling around in my head this morning. My brain and body are finally to the point that when I crash at night, I crash hard. So I am starting to get some steady sleep. That being taken care of for the time being I am turning back to my writing. I am going to try to set aside time on my days off (to start with). I just realized that I signed up for the July NaNoWriMo Writing Camp. Oof. I did that in a peak of creative hope at the beginning of June. I can but try. I also sent an email to my editor at the paper saying that I was ready to come back. I hope I am not over doing things. I can but try. I am going to not doing much to doing a lot again. But maybe not. We’ll see.

It is pretty nice out so once I post this, I will take Stella for a walk. I should drive her to the park. But I have a feeling that if I plan to get any writing done, I need to just to our back 40. I am trying to focus on forward without constantly looking back. I will be turning 50 in a little over a month. I need to be looking forward. Not back.

I find myself wanting to stay home more and more. A lot of that is because I deal with people all day. The other part is that I am just not up to running around all the time. I need some down time. (This from the one who just filled her plate back up. Sigh.) But I also need new experiences. I need to be alive. Not in a fog reaching out for sleep. So I guess…. I guess I need to figure things out a step at a time. Time to make more lists!

Stella is restless. I don’t blame her. I haven’t spent much time with her lately. I am going to wrap this up and get her outside for a bit. Then I will write one page on my novel. I can do this. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Dogs, Emotions, family, Life, Love, Medical, Thinking, Travel, Writing

With a Cause

This morning’s anxiety attack I understand the cause. I talked with both my parents last night (this wasn’t my intention but oh well). Mom has not been doing well. She needs to go to the doctor. She tried what we refer to as rent-a-doc or Urgent Care. They pretty much said ‘Take two aspirin and call if it gets worse.” I hope that going to her regular doctor Monday will tell us something. Mom kept trying to back out of going. I finally asked if she wanted me to take Monday off and drive her. She agreed so I texted my boss immediately asking to have Monday off. I have it off and he also said to give her their best (meaning work).

I feel like I am running behind. I see by the clock that I am. I had things to take care of here before I did this and that used up a bit of my time. Stella came out to be with me. She is curled in a tiny ball behind me. I am very tired. I slept but I am still catching up on sleep from previous days. My brain is all over the place. I am just a cashier today so that might help.

I’m sorry this is a bit all over the place. On the flip side it will be short. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, Exercise, family, Food, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Overcast With a Chance of Creativity

This morning I am finding it hard to find a place that doesn’t hurt. Last night I couldn’t eat the excellent dinner that Chris made us. Beef kabobs, rice, and asparagus. It looked so good. But for whatever reason my stomach started. I ended up in bed with a little bucket next to me. It pretty much lasted all night. My body was rebelling everything. Even water made me nauseous.

I do feel better this morning. I even got up extra early (I went to bed extra early). I am hoping to get some writing done as well as some yoga. It feels like a good time to bring that back into my life. Stella is on the love seat behind me dreaming of chasing something. Chipmunks and birds seem to be a focus lately. A bird flew in the house yesterday (flew right back out fortunately) and this morning as I was standing on the back porch a chipmunk ran right up next to me and sat. We have a lot of animals here, but the direct contact doesn’t happen often. It’s more observation.

For whatever reason I have been thinking of one of my best friends through school lately. (Those of you who are my long-time readers might remember a few years ago when I found out that she had commit suicide.) While I was lying in bed debating on actually getting up or not, I started remembering things we did together. We were very close. I still have several of the gifts she got me over the years. One of them is a small Paddington Bear. I had always been a Pooh Bear girl, and this was my first exposure to Paddington. (I never really loved orange marmalade until I was an adult though.) Anyway, I pulled Paddington off my desk in our bedroom as I came out here this morning. He is stanning to right of my laptop as I type this.

I don’t know what my plans today are. As much as I want to garden, I don’t know if my wrist is up for it (I sprained it Saturday at work). I have seeds that need to get in the ground. But before that can happen, I have to clean out the raised beds. My wrist is really starting to hurt with this small effort. I don’t think holding and shaking machine or pulling weeds will help. Using a pen probably won’t help either but it will be easier on the rest of my body.

The sun was out and shining when we got up but now it has become overcast. I might put my swing up again (a sure sign that it will rain). I am trying to get myself to write in other places of the house and yard. I have the table in the breakfast nook, a desk in our bedroom, a desk in my office, my little chair and bistro set on the back porch (apparently expensive since my hands tried to type “porsche”), my swing, the ground (I pull out my Minion quilt and we sit on it) and my big blue Adirondack chair. So far nothing out of the normal, that being here on the floor at the table, on the love seat or in bed. Today might be a good day to start that as well.

I see that this is becoming extra-long so I will stop here. A big thank you to everyone who has reached out to me. I really appreciate the support. As always thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Automotive, Emotions, family, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Family

Ian a hot mess this morning. My phone doesn’t seem to want to recognize my finger this morning and that makes it difficult to type. Being so tired that I can’t see correctly isn’t helping.

I stayed later than I intended yesterday. The whole thing was not the best. (Sorry, my wording this morning is off.) I got there to find out the reservations had been changed. That meant I was the only one there. After I messaged everyone they began to slowly arrive. It was no big deal to them because most of them lived in the area and the few that did not were staying several days. It was a big deal to me because I was driving almost three hours one way.

Lunch went well. I caught up with part of my family. The long table made it difficult to talk to everyone. Afterwards we decided a handful of us would go to Bronnor’s. (This is a Christmas store that people from all over the world to visit.) I had not been there since I was little. This also shows my love for my family as I am not a fan of Christmas. Working at Younker’s ruined my love of Christmas. Working retail showed the ugly greedy side of Christmas.

I knew they would take a long time to wander (the place is massive) but my Aunt said she would drive me back to my car and come back to finish shopping. I think I stayed an extra hour. That got me home around 7pm.

I am tired enough that I am considering asking the night manager to come in early so I can go home. Anyway I need to wrap this up. Thanks for reading and stay safe! Hopefully tomorrow’s post will be more coherent.

Aging, anxiety, Creativity, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Travel, Writing

What Did I Get Myself Into?

I really hope I Have Monday off. I need a day to sleep in. I have hit my wall. It has been a hell of a week and I am beat. My family still has not made plans for meeting up tomorrow. It’s ridiculous since it is tomorrow. I may just go down and meet up with my Aunt and to hell with the rest of them. I have neither the time nor the patience for any of that.

I was busier than busy yesterday. I ended up outside helping but then I ended up running the plant sale. My coworker came in sick and ended up leaving early so I was doing the manager thing and running the plant sale outside. Today I am strictly plant sale. There is so much going on! The problem is that we have no staff. They are looking to promote someone and there is no one to promote! Most of the folks working there are holding down two jobs now.

Class was a bit of a mess last night. Which falls in with the rest of the day. My going to the wrong place on the completely wrong side of town (thank the Goddess I left early (ha ha I was still running late when I left)) aside the class… the people in the class seem to want a diagram of how to write. They are older for the most part (although I am closer in age to many than I would like to admit) and are looking for a cut and dry method to write their novels. Then there was the issue of the link to our group site on Google. The first link sent most people couldn’t get to work. I think maybe six got it to work. So a second email was sent. That was a hit or miss as well. I got it to work after fiddling around with it for a bit. That whole thing with the link (how to get it, what to do, where to go, what it is for, how to set things up, etc) took up a lot more time than our instructor wanted. He also was patiently frustrated. I was just frustrated. I was there to learn and talk about writing. Oh! And as I was running late when I got there I found four other people lingering outside the building. They too were in my class but the building was locked and they couldn’t get in. Someone saw us and let us in not long after I got there. I think class was about 15 minutes in and they were still trying to figure out how to login on the computers in the classroom.

I only have a few minutes before I have to leave so I’d better wrap this up. I have no idea what is going on for tomorrow so… good times! I hope you have an amazing day! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Travel, Writing

The Eclipse of the Red Moon

I stayed up late last night to watch the lunar eclipse. I was a bit upset at first because I had missed the first half of it (everything I read said things would get started around 11:30pm, I stuck my head out around 11:14pm and the moon was half gone). It was wild to watch the moon disappear and then turn a deep red. I watched until a little after midnight. I had intended to go to bed not long after I got home but a coworker asked if I was going to watch the eclipse. It didn’t look too promising when I got out last night. Everything was clouded over. But after I got home I noticed that I could see the moonrise through the clouds. The clouds never did completely disappear but I was able to watch everything through the thin veil of clouds. I am glad I stayed up to watch.

Yesterday was busier than intended. I did another chunk of garden before work. After my shower I was chillin’ in front of the tv when Stella starts barking. We have company! Two of our dear friends stopped by to give us our wedding invitation. Since we hadn’t chatted in a while we all stood around and did so. By the time they left I had to hurry up and get dressed. I was almost late but that’s ok. I made it. Work was steady if not downright busy. I spent time in the deli helping out as well as hopping on a register to ring and helping at the gas window and courtesy counter.

Today will be going to the vet with Stella and then taking my friend to the VA hospital for his appointment this afternoon. I might try to garden after I get home. It won’t be hot so that will help. I do need to try out the tiller. I have everything I need to get going with it. But the tiller is for the back gardens. I am pushing through my side and front gardens. We’ll see. The thing is I will need to dig out a few things before I can use the tiller. So it comes down to what I want to accomplish today. I need to squeeze in time on my novel as I didn’t get any yesterday. The annoying part is I woke up at 5:30am and started peeking at the clock. I didn’t want my alarm to wake Chris. He has been working so hard and he needs his sleep. My mind started working around 6:15am. Around 6:23am I tried to drift off but my mind kept going so I gave up and got out of bed.

I think I will wrap this up and see about getting Stella out of bed so we can go to the vet. Thanks for reading and stay safe! Oh and did anyone else see the eclipse? What did you think?

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Just a Little More Time

I am just so tired this morning. I have packed too much into the past few days. That is a good thing and a bad. I don’t have much energy for anything around here and I really need to get going on my gardens. I got that one small patch done Friday and I’ve not done anything else.

It is much cooler this morning. It got comfortable enough last night that I turned off the AC in the living room. I have several windows wide open as well as the sliding glass door. It should be decent tomorrow as well. My mind is scrambling ahead to what I need to get done both today and tomorrow. My fingers are trying to figure out which thoughts they are supposed to type. I hope that I just have the vet appointment tomorrow. I think my friend should stay home this coming week. He pushes himself too much (yes, I know, listen to your own advice). If he has to stay home then I can work on another stretch of garden as well as my novel (and I did get a page written last night before I fell asleep). I think I will work on another stretch before work. I need to shower anyway.

Stella and I went for a bit of a walk yesterday on the property. She was patient with me when I wanted to stop and take photos. There are a lot of things blooming and they just look so beautiful. In return I let her (mostly) pick our route. There were spots under branches and such that I wouldn’t fit that she wanted to sniff. I let her go as far as her lead was long. She came back tired and, I hope, happy. I know once Chris came to bed last night it was Stella and I sharing my pillow. I didn’t mind. Neither of us takes up much room.

If I am going to get anything done outside I should wrap this up and get out there. A big thank you for all you kind words and support! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, the World, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Like a Patchwork Quilt

This morning I am very frustrated. I went to bed exhausted. 4:30am wide awake. Now that I have to head out to cover a meeting I can barely keep my eyes open. Right now I am a mess. I found out that a dear friend is in the hospital due to a minor heart attack. My talk with Mom last night after I got home from picking another friend up at the airport did not go well. By the time we hung up I was very frustrated. Mom complained that she couldn’t do this and that but she really wanted to. If only… She refuses to apply herself to anything. She will even cancel needed doctor appointments because she doesn’t feel like going anywhere that day. If you give her a solution she immediately comes back with a counter problem to that solution.

I found some baby pictures of Essie yesterday on here when I went through to delete any duplicates and not so good photos. That made me a bit teary. I miss all my fur babies. I’m sorry I am kind of all over the place this morning. My mind is already going on what I need to do today. The sun is out again so it should be another beautiful day. The tiller has been put together so I might get some gas and give that a go this afternoon. I need to remember to call about brakes for my car tomorrow as well.

See what I mean? My mind is on everything but this. I got a good 20 minutes on my novel yesterday before my mind wandered off. The last 10 minutes it thought about everything but the novel and characters. Maybe working in the yard is a good idea today. Then my mind can wander and my hands can do something constructive. Maybe I’ll start in the front yard along the house. I need to try to write the article for this morning’s meeting today so I only have one article to write tomorrow morning (I have another meeting tonight). We’ll see how that goes.

I should wrap this up. I see by the clock it is time to try to get myself together and head out. Thanks for reading through my muddle. Stay safe!