Off My Everything

Yesterday started so well! An eagle even flew overhead! I felt balanced and good. But then little things would go wrong. By the end of the day I had a really large pile of things that had gone wrong. And I was angry.

I tried watching movies. I did pull out an old favorite book, Duma Key by Stephen King. That helped. But I tossed and turned. My sleep meds did not work until the last hour before my alarm. Right now all I want to do is sleep for several days.

So I have no idea what today will bring. It hurts to swallow. I am exhausted. Today will probably be busy. Hopefully no disasters. Thanks for reading and stay safe.

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Butterflies, Bees and Hummingbirds. Yay!

Here we are. Late but here. It is a mellow day. The sun is being drifted in and out of clouds. I fell asleep watching “Unexplained” hosted by William Shatner last night. No idea for how long. I do know that I ended up with about 12 hours of sleep after I dragged myself to bed. Yesterday was long but full.

Work was busy busy. The gas pumps got shut down for several hours to get everything thing fixed. Drama was running rampant, so I was putting out spot fires making sure no one walked off the job. After I got home I had to go back to work because I had forgotten (for the first time) to get Stella’s meat for her dinners. I did get all of the groceries on the list. I spent more than I anticipated because I got us an umbrella with a stand. It is about 9 feet (2.7 meters) across and orange. Chris has been told by his doctor that he needs to be spending more time outside in the sun. I will help the transition with the umbrella. If I can get him at least outside then that is a win in my eyes. I got it all set up. I don’t know where I want to keep it set up yet. Fortunately it is relatively easy to move around. I also got the backyard mowed last night. I had Chris gas up the mower (I didn’t want to spill gas all over with my wrist not working) so when he left I did the backyard. For now, both the front and back look fairly good. After a shower to stop itching Dad and I had a good chat. We discussed work, Mom, life… It was a good chat.

Since I got all that done yesterday my day today is free. I might be puttering in the gardens. Near the house I have had hummingbirds, bees and butterflies. For two days running now! I am so excited! I cleaned out the hummingbird feeder and filled it. I do need to water all my plants today. Inside and out, they are looking a little dry.

There has been a lot of major digging going on around here. Two doors down across the street has had digging going on all week. Now the people with the goats across the street have major digging going on. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was the same equipment being used. I wonder what everyone is doing.

Today might be a bit busier than I thought. I have a friend/coworker that is finally arriving back here from Texas today. She might come over for a bit once they settle in. Hang on… someone is here. Just Fed-Ex dropping something off. I should wrap this up. I will take a few photos to share (I didn’t get around to it yesterday). Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, Dogs, Emotions, Friends, Learning, Life, Medical, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Writing

Good News For the Busy Bee

Oh morning how I don’t want to be with thee! I’d much rather be asleep after an 11 hour shift of dealing with the public! But it is a short shift and I have tomorrow off. I can make it. I hope. Baby Stella has chosen to get up with me this morning. I feel blessed because I pretty much came home, fed her and let her out, showered and went to bed.

I got called in early to learn that I got another promotion. I can now add liquor manager to my ever expanding repertoire. It came with a raise as well. All I have to do is learn the ordering system. The coworker what had the department before me will be showing me that part hopefully Sunday morning. The rest of the day I was hoping. I don’t think I really sat down unless I was counting drawers. And I even got to those late because I was so busy.

I guess I will be receiving a gift from a customer I helped last night at the gas pumps. He was trying to put gas in the car while his wife got groceries. He’d just had a stroke and was still getting around with a cane. He came to the gas window apologizing that he needed help because he put his credit card in the slot that the receipt came out of and couldn’t get it out. He was so sweet and kept apologizing. I told him that he wasn’t the first and certainly wouldn’t be the last. I worked on the machine for almost an hour and still couldn’t get the card out (coworkers came out later and were able to get it out… someone else had gotten their card stuck and not bothered to tell anyone so we had two cards). I took their name and number and called them when we retrieved the card. While I was trying to get the card out we chit chatted. They were from downstate and we talked about the Detroit area (since that is where I grew up). He was very interesting and we had fun. He and his wife were so grateful that it wasn’t made into a big deal that they are bringing me a “gift” for everything. I told them no but they were insistent. As it was the stinker tucked a $20 into my pocket.😊

About a third of our freezers were down as well. So an added bonus was that the frozen delivery was left out (long story and not our fault). As a result several packs of ice cream were unsaleable. However they were still edible. Since we got credit for the mishap we were able to share the ice cream (bars and popsicles) with the staff. We had enough for both day and night shift. That brightened everyone’s day!

I see I have been rather long winded this morning. If you’ve made it this far thanks for reading and stay safe! Oh and the photos are repeats. I hope to have fresh photos for tomorrow!😊

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, Exercise, family, Friends, Gardening, Guitar, Learning, Life, Love, Motorcycles, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Riding, Thinking, Writing

Finding a Balance. Finding Me.

Another morning… We have company so I am overly self-conscious about how much noise I am making. I guess it is an excuse to write and read. I don’t really feel like doing either. I slept in since I don’t have to be to work until noon. I feel like I should’ve gotten up at my normal time. But what would it have accomplished? I would still get the same amount done and make the same comment that I should’ve gotten up earlier.

I am struggling to find a balance of some kind. There are things that I want to do/start but don’t. Yoga is a good example. My mind wonders when I am going to squeeze it in on workdays. There is my writing. This is the only consistent writing I am doing right now. My journaling is sporadic, and my novel has stalled out. My gardens… I am doing pretty well on all things considered. But I still have to get those raised gardens done and my rock garden cleaned out. And the backyard mowed. Stella still has no harness and our walks have become fewer and fewer. My motorcycle needs to be ridden. I need to keep pushing with my guitar. There is keeping in contact with friends and family (I suck at it, but I try).

I bust tail at work and do my best to get things done around the house and for us when I am home. It just feels like there is so much! I have thought about a schedule like Mondays I do this and Tuesdays that. But with my schedule I have to fit things in when I have time. So I don’t know what to do.

I also find myself saying that I will do things for others and then drop the ball. I have the best intentions but I either don’t have the time or… don’t have the time it seems. I can’t pare back anymore. Next week is my last week off from the paper. It will be good to be back. If they still want me. We’ll see. I will shoot out an email once I post this. I should wrap this up. No rain is in the forecast so I may put my hammock swing back up. And Stella needs a walk. Even if it is just on our property.

Thanks for reading and stay safe!


Trying For Two (or Too… Much?)

Another heat advisory has been issued until 8pm tonight. I have had both AC units on all night, so the house is pretty comfortable. Stella and I both started getting warm as the sun went down last night so I turned on the unit in the living room. It was 72F (22C) when I got up. And today is the first day of Summer! Yay!

I have noticed that the mouse pad on my laptop no longer works. I am not sure why. I am grateful that I have the wireless one. Stella has gotten up not long after I did. She is currently ensconced on the couch. I am avoiding talking about Mom. But here goes. I decided to cancel her doctor’s appointment. Even though I do not agree with it I understand why she did it. Without giving too much detail there where physical issues that would prevent her from getting to the doctor without causing more issues. So, I am encouraging her to at least get one of the free COVID tests via the mail. (For those asking yes, she has had all the vaccinations.) She doesn’t seem to be getting much better. So we are playing things by ear. I am not going to force her. She will just dig her heels in deeper. Instead I am going to support and encourage that she follow through with things.

I did get things done around the house. The front yard got mowed and weed whacked. The downside is that my wrist did not like the whole vibration and various motions it was put through. It doesn’t hurt as much this morning, so we’ll see. I am still going to wrap it. (I leaned forward and supported myself on the back of the couch last night. I must’ve landed it wrong because that hurt enough for me to do some swearing out loud.) Dishes also got done. All of it was mostly busy work so that I did not worry about Mom. I was supposed to talk to Dad last night but by the time I got his message I just wasn’t up to talking. A friend also tried to get me to go out for awhile last night. Not far, just here in town. But again I didn’t.

This morning I am going to try to get some writing done. I need to go and help with a project online as well. I am going to wrap this up and take Stella for a walk. Maybe that will help clear my mind. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Food, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Storms and Buds and Goats! Oh My!

OMG. There are goats across the street. I heard what sounded like a whiny human child but the more I listened (and there was a lot to listen to) it sounded like what it was. Goats. They were quiet for a few minutes but then started up again. I have no idea if these people looked to see if they could have goats on their property or if their neighbors will be knocking on their door to complain. And I also wonder if they have put any thought into what is going to happen once winter sets in. I see a large fenced in area but no out building for them. This will be interesting.

Things feel like they are going borderline crazy anymore. Like someone who is barely holding it together. One wrong word will set them off. And you don’t know what that word is.

I am going to have to shut the front window. All I can hear are those goats. So much for getting a nice cross breeze through the house. Bah.

I let myself sleep in. I could’ve slept longer but I wanted to get things done before I had to leave for Mom’s. I slept about 12 hours as it was. Mom keeps trying to weasel out of going to the doctor. I don’t want to go anywhere today so it is difficult to keep pushing her to still go at times.

I’m going to go over and smack those kids. The human ones, not the goats. They find it entertaining to get the goats to bleat. No sooner are the goats quiet then I hear a human child make the bleating noise only to have the goats mimic it. And so it goes. I am glad I am not next door.

We had storms roll through in the wee hours this morning. Stella was not a happy girl. I had the light on for a bit to help. As soon as the storms ended, she hunkered right back in and went to sleep. Everything got watered well from the storm. I have been taking my little watering can and watering everyone outside. The hoses leak more water than they disperse so I have given up on them. Pepper plants have buds and are blooming. One of the cantaloupe plants has a big orange bloom open. I also used some fresh basil and oregano in dinner last night. I marinated some chicken then grilled them in a tin foil wrap with the fresh herbs inside. We also had a ranch bacon pasta salad. Not a lot but I felt that I should make dinner on Father’s Day for Chris.

It looks like it wants to rain again. If we have storms it will be hard to leave Stella. I might just have to take her with and stay in the car with her. I can’t leave her freaking out at home. But we’ll see. I did take lots of photos yesterday so I will share some of them today. The plants are the recent editions to the gardens. Everything was budding like crazy yesterday so the rain will be a push for things to get moving. I’ll get more photos in a few days to show their growth. I hope you have an amazing day! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

anxiety, Creativity, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Movies, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Bring Me My Lists!

There is so much to do! There are people I said I would help with things and I just haven’t had the time. I was reminded by two friends about offers of help that I didn’t follow through with. Last night as our friends were leaving one of them asked if we were still going to get together and have a writing day. I felt sheepish but I said that I usually work til 2pm on Saturday so we could try at 3pm. She said that worked. Now I’d better check my schedule. I know I have several changes from my normal one. Yep, we are good.

I got as much planted yesterday as I could. I still have several plants that need to go out front. They are tiny plants so I don’t need much space. I did get two flats of plants in their various homes. I am keeping things we will use year round in pots to bring in. I have enough of done things that I have them both in the ground as well as in pots. Mom will be getting some plants as well.

I don’t know what to differently to squeeze everything in anymore. I find myself exhausted more often than not. Our friends went home late (we had a movie marathon) but we don’t get to hang out very often. Then I kept picking my head up to check the clock about every 30 minutes. I hate to have my alarm wake Chris on his day off. Even if he can fall back asleep.

I notice some of my anxiety tics are coming back. I try to stop when I notice myself doing them but once my attention goes elsewhere…. I am trying hard to be positive. I am trying hard to get it all done.

Please excuse any typos. I am writing this on my phone and I may have missed some. The photos are repeats again today but I will make it a point to take photos of the new plants if nothing else. Thank you for all the support and comments! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Looking For My Map

Ugh. My laptop battery was all but dead, so I decided to try writing in a new spot. I wanted to still be with Stella so I was looking for new spots somewhere in the living room. Right now (after several attempts elsewhere) I am sitting on the floor with my laptop on the seat of on of my bistro chairs. I am right in the doorway to go outside. The cord is not long enough to reach to the table. And the sun is making it difficult to see the screen as it is. Trying to find a spot was annoying because everywhere I wanted to go I couldn’t. Now I am typing in my lap because I hear my fan going. A few moments partly in the sun makes things too hot apparently.

I am trying so hard to be in a good mood today! I did pretty well yesterday. The last two hours of work though… I was really feeling it. The wrist is in bad shape today. I did pretty much all the work with my left hand, but I guess it was still too much. Everyone was so surprised at how well I did with my left hand. I explained that my Grandmother (Mom’s mom) was ambidextrous and Dad is left handed so I learned at a young age to use both hands. I am right handed but I can use both to do pretty much everything. You can even read my writing when I write with my left hand.

I need to get my stuff in the ground today. I have to cram everything into a few hours because we are having company. I don’t resent that. I just had the idea that I could putter in the garden for a few hours then Chris and I go out somewhere for a while. They will be here at 2pm so if I am going to do anything with the raised beds it will have to be as soon as Chris gets up. I don’t know how loud the tiller will be. And I don’t know how much I can do with this wrist. Running the tiller might be a bad idea. I might cram as many as I can in the memorial garden and hope for the best. They won’t all fit though. I do have space in the side gardens though. Not what I had planned but they need to go in somewhere. The poor things are getting root bound.

I keep saving because I am not sure this is charging. The symbol is there but it doesn’t look like it is doing anything. It might be best if I wrap this up and just go put it in my office to charge. Thanks for listening. I hope you have an amazing day! And as always stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Dogs, Emotions, family, Life, Love, Medical, Thinking, Travel, Writing

With a Cause

This morning’s anxiety attack I understand the cause. I talked with both my parents last night (this wasn’t my intention but oh well). Mom has not been doing well. She needs to go to the doctor. She tried what we refer to as rent-a-doc or Urgent Care. They pretty much said ‘Take two aspirin and call if it gets worse.” I hope that going to her regular doctor Monday will tell us something. Mom kept trying to back out of going. I finally asked if she wanted me to take Monday off and drive her. She agreed so I texted my boss immediately asking to have Monday off. I have it off and he also said to give her their best (meaning work).

I feel like I am running behind. I see by the clock that I am. I had things to take care of here before I did this and that used up a bit of my time. Stella came out to be with me. She is curled in a tiny ball behind me. I am very tired. I slept but I am still catching up on sleep from previous days. My brain is all over the place. I am just a cashier today so that might help.

I’m sorry this is a bit all over the place. On the flip side it will be short. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Brightish and Defiantly Early

I can officially say I got about 20 minutes of sleep. Not long after I got home there was thunder and lightening. By the time I got out of the shower it was going in earnest pouring rain. It was supposed to last til midnight. So I stayed up with the light on. At midnight off went the light and we snuggled in. I tossed and turned for a bit. Then came more rain, thunder and lightening. On went the light. We were still up when Chris got home from work. Naturally when I could finally fall asleep I couldn’t get comfortable etc. So here we are.

Work has been crazy with having to stay later due to late shoppers. I locked the doors and not only did we have five shoppers still in the store (one was a huge cart full of groceries) but several more people pulled in and tried to come in. The gas was the same way.

My parents have finally broken radio silence. Dad sent a one word text. “Migraine.” Mom sent me several random links and a brief complaint that Google won’t let her search for COVID symptoms. (This worries me on several levels.) I sent Dad my love and Mom my links to her query. So.

I am looking forward to getting out at 1pm today. Ten hour shifts when dealing with the public can be a bit much. Add a dash of freezers going down and a sprinkle of putting ignored stock out (no one put liquor away) it has been a crazy two days. Tomorrow I am a mere cashier. (Ha ha ha. Let’s see what I really end up doing.)

Stella got up for a bit with me this morning. She was my cuddle bug once we settled in after the storms had passed. She helped me yesterday morning and I helped her that night. (All my canine friends stopped by work to see me yesterday as well. Do I must’ve needed a lot of puppy love.😊)

I’d better wrap this up and get going for work. I appreciate all the positivity and love! Thanks for reading and stay safe!