anxiety, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life


Another early morning. I hope the shift goes quickly. Not feeling the best but I need to fake it today. I am getting the week of Labor Day off.

Yesterday we had our first window estimate done. He had a whole spiel that he had to go through. It was a several hour process. Tomorrow and Tuesday more people will be out to give estimates on getting the roof replaced.

I need to figure out what to do to get some sleep. Thirty minute snatches here and there aren’t doing me any good.

Not much to share this morning. I hope you have a great day. Thanks for reading and stay safe.

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Let Me Off Here Please

I think I have reached the tipping point. I was able to get ahold of the vet from work yesterday. They got us in at 3:30pm. I got out of work at 2pm so that was good. We didn’t get home from the doctor’s until 5:30pm. Everyone knew that I was worried about Stella, so I just posted that we were going to the doctor. Once we were back everyone wanted to know how it went. That’s when the problem came in. I was just exhausted and didn’t want to talk to anyone, so I didn’t. And my phone kept blowing up. I explained to Mom what the doctor said and hoped that it would be enough, but she wanted to discuss everything. So, I did not respond until just before bed.

I asked for help printing some tags that need to go up in my liquor department and it turns out that there was a big price change that needed to drop. So, my coworker came in on her time off to do all that so I could get it done today. She sent a message asking where the stickers were (I had them with me as I was told that new ones would be made). That was at almost 5am this morning. I didn’t get up until 9am. I sent an apologetic message back. And I stared at my phone for a bit. I did/do not want the task of telling everyone what went on yesterday. Too many people. I am just over-overwhelmed.

In short Stella a lot of bacteria in her gut that is going crazy right now. She has a pill she gets every 12 hours and then a packet of stuff sprinkled on her food every night. She is on the bland diet until she can go to the bathroom without having issues. Now to do a group post so everyone knows. I am glad I make my own hours today. I don’t have to deal with too much outside of my liquor and beer. Thanks for reading and all the love for Stella and I. We really appreciate it❤️Stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Dogs, Emotions, family, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, Thinking, Writing


My heart hurts. When I got home Stella had an upset tummy. She ate a little yogurt. When I got up this morning she went out and ate a lot of grass and was sick. Then she came in and wanted to eat. I don’t know what to do. I will try calling the vet asap. They don’t open until 9am. So I will call as soon as they open.

I hope the rest of the day goes well. I am at a loss for words right now. Sorry this is so short. Be safe and thanks for reading.

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Food, Friends, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, Reading, Thinking, Writing

Trying to….?

As fun as it has been the past few days with my birthday the big thing is Stella. Last night I was debating whether or not to take her to the ER vet. She was panting like she was in pain (it was not warm). She seems a little better today. She is being a cuddle bug again.

I am a bit disappointed in myself. I did not, I have not, pulled my novel out in days. Maybe even weeks. Things have been so crazy I just read to get my mind off things instead of writing. It’s a good story. I want to tell it. But I can’t seem to get out of my own way. I am thinking I will work on it tonight. I shouldn’t as I need to be back up at 5am and I will (hopefully) be home before 10pm tonight. But I won’t be able to go right to bed let alone sleep.

Stella must really want my undivided attention. I shifted a little and the cushion behind my back made a creaky sound and she picked her head up (she is laying out in the sun in the porch). I still need to take a shower. I wanted to get laundry in and done first. I did bedding last night so that is good.

I find I am expecting too much from myself. But I don’t stop. Sometimes it does help. Then I will actually follow through. But right now I find myself overwhelmed mentally. I am trying so hard to do the right thing all the time. I berate myself when I cannot. Part of me is looking forward to the cold weather since that means I don’t have to work on what is outside, just inside. And I am at a point that I need the inside.

I guess I am planning a Younker’s reunion. Everyone wants to get together again. But no one is offering to pull it together. We have a place to go. So I will just put the word out for a specific date and have everyone bring a dish to pass. I can bring the plates and such. I do want to see everyone again. It was good to just sit and talk for awhile (I guess we were there for over 2 hours on Sunday).

I see by the clock that I need to wrap this up if I am going to get everything done. Thanks for reading and thank you for all the support. It means a lot. Stay safe!

Ed. note: My last two gifts were a really awesome chair and (giggity!) the box set of the Friday the 13th movies! Mom and I are getting together Saturday (we have decided to not go to the wedding Saturday) so I’m sure I will have more goodies to share after that.

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, Exercise, family, Friends, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Writing

The Big 5-0

Somehow, I managed to make it 50 years. I have done so much… Yet it feels as though not much time has gone by. This year is kinda special because everyone is going out of their way for my birthday, family and friends alike. I have decided to call this the “Fabulous 50s”, not nifty 50s.

Stella has been in my lap almost since she has gotten up. She is on a bland diet so see if that will help. She is also on a cancellation list so if someone cancels and she is still not doing well I can get her in. They are booked solid til September. I know she’s not doing well. But I will try to keep her happy til we can get into the doctor.

Yesterday we went to the Secretary of State and got my tabs. I was pleasantly surprised to get in and out within 5 minutes. I did not know if I would be made to wait because I had no appointment. I walked in and up to the counter and did my thing. So both the car and motorcycle have their new tabs. I called the vet’s office while we were in the parking lot in case they could get her in. Since they couldn’t we went to the park for a walk. She has strained her left shoulder, so we took it slow. I’m not sure what she did. It seems to come and go. I am trying to be positive but a Momma knows. She is doing a lot of the same things Moosie did after he was diagnosed with kidney disease.

I have people stopping by throughout the day to say hi. Mom wants to get together so I hope she would consider coming out here. I don’t know when everyone is stopping by. Dad wants to chat as well. I feel a bit like a queen waiting to receive her tributes, lol. But since I have the day off people have just offered to drop by with cards and to say hi. I am extremely grateful.

We just had a brown out with our electricity. No weather to speak of, blue skies and no clouds or wind. Just sunshine and warmth. So I had better get this posted before it happens again! Thanks for reading and thank you so much for your concerns. I appreciate the suggestions. Stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Food, Friends, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Travel, Writing


I was pleasantly surprised when we went out for my birthday brunch yesterday. When we got in the door Chris kind of turns to the left and waves. People wave back. It took me a second to realize that I knew all these people, lol. A certain loving husband went and got a small surprise party together for me! There were three of my coworkers from Younker’s, our neighbor’s from across the way and then the Girls (Chris works with them and we have become very close, so we just refer to them as “the Girls”). It was really good to meet and catch up with everyone. I even got to wear my Minion tank top that I wanted!

Tomorrow is the big day. I do feel better about it. And a big part of tomorrow is that it is a day off. Several of you have commented that it sounds like I am quickly approaching burn out. You are probably right. I have too much going on and am too much in my head lately. I am going to try to get my tabs for my vehicles this morning. I have tried setting an appointment, but their web sites are not working correctly (at least not for me). Since I did not get any paperwork in the mail this year, I am hoping that they can get me in. It should be very quick. I hope. I also need to call the vet about Stella. I hope we can get her in this week some time.

Aaaaand I can feel the anxiety kick in. One of my coworkers last night was talking about some of the medical stuff she was going through, and Chris and I just looked at each other. It all sounded a lot like me. I am going to wrap this up and try to go get my tabs. It is cool enough I will take Stella with me. Part of me wants to wait until tomorrow but that is not a good idea. I want some sleep tonight. I am sorry for the repeat photos. I will make an effort to get fresh ones to share tomorrow. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, anxiety, Creativity, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Tattoos, Thinking, Writing


I think I am awake. I could be writing this in a dream…. I hate being up this early but if I don’t get up and get moving nothing gets done.

I did not adult or manage well yesterday. I pretty much let everyone stay up front and do what they wanted. Which was hang out, talk and spend too many quarters in the little machine to get dumb/fun little toys to share with each other. Things got gone and people worked but… I just don’t think I set the best example. The flip side of that is I know everyone had fun. I also have a small collection of goodies from everyone, lol.

Today and tomorrow. It doesn’t help that this week has been a bad one for me. I am just done adulting. I did talk to Dad yesterday though. We chit chatted and then made his grocery list. I would get frustrated because he would get lost looking in his computer for some thing. When he does that he goes silent and just is clicking away on this and that trying to find what he is looking for. After about 15 minutes irritation gives way to anger. He finally took the hint and moved on.

My “old fart” from work (a dear friend even before we worked together) is getting a tattoo! He is scheduled for September 15th. It will be an old school traditional eagle with a top hat. I am very excited for him! After work we met at the tattoo parlor and he set things up. I am going to try to remind him the closer we get to the date.

I see that I am running a tad behind. So quick quick I need to post this! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Mental Demons

I am not a fan. Right now all I want to do is sleep. I didn’t get done with all my paperwork until 11pm last night. Than I didn’t notice Stella’s accident until I’d been home a little bit. I wasn’t upset as it had been a really long day for her. It had been done not too long before I got home. The scary part is that there was blood in her stool. Just like Moose. I am gong to try to get her into the dr. asap. I don’t have the money for the ER vet. That is almost $300 just to walk in the door. And I don’t trust them like I do our vet. They did pretty good when Essie had to get stitches but…

Needless to say I’ve not had any sleep. Today is going to be a very long day. I was ok with a little sleep but now… I just want my shift over with. And I just looked at my order email. I should’ve had a liquor order delivered yesterday. Sigh. This will be fun then.

I just have to make it to Tuesday. That will be my next day off. It is supposed to rain all day today. I’m not sure about tomorrow. Right now I don’t really care. I am just really hoping that Stella does not have kidney disease.

I need to wrap this up. Thanks for reading and stay safe.

Animals, anxiety, Automotive, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Weirdness to My Days

What a weird morning! I woke up from weird (but strangely compelling) dreams. My day feels off because I said I would’ve closing manager for a coworker (I hope I can get my stuff done before she leaves around 5pm). I am back at 6:30am tomorrow so I won’t get much sleep tonight. So I feel off not being at work at this hour. Then I turned on my laptop. It sort of hooked up to the internet but then failed completely. I have no idea why. I tried to reconnect and all it did was give me the message “Connecting…”. Everything else hooks up fine. So I am writing this on my phone.

It is cool, almost cold, this morning. Stella just got up and wants to play. Little goose.❤️🐾 I just threw her ball for her. I am a bit achy from yesterday. I spent pretty much my whole shift stocking liquor. Wednesday I got a double order so 5 full what we call u-boats. They are carts on wheels about 6ft (182cm) by about 2ft (60cm) wide. They were piled higher than I am tall and I am 5’7 (170cm). Liquor is not light in mass quantities! But it felt good to have stock filled almost completely in. I hated all those empty shelves!

I find myself struggling to find myself in my days. I sort of have a set schedule but any variance throws me off. I did get my car in yesterday. My tire sensors are wonky. I had a low rear tire but the brakes are fine. I was embarrassed as I made it a point to look the warning symbol from my dashboard up in my manual for the car. It said brakes were the issue. Not tire pressure. I could’ve checked the tire pressure and filled it here at the house. But Stella got a walk and a ride out of it. I was leery about taking her on the roads (I don’t want her to think that it is something she can do… especially on her own) but I kept telling her that she could only walk on roads with me on her lead. But she was a very good girl. She even laid down while we were talking.

I guess I ought to wrap this up and get myself together. Thanks for reading and stay safe!