Contemplations

Stella came out here to be with me for a little while. I think she isn’t feeling good again. And I think it is because she is liking the lotion off of Chris. He has a special lotion that he uses and Stella loves licking and giving kisses. We tell her to stop but she manages to sneak in a few licks anyway. She got love from me for a bit then walked outside. I thought she was going to lay in the sun, but she came back in and went back to bed with Chris.

The flies in the house have become all but unbearable. We have fly strips up but there seems to be no end to them. I am constantly waving my hands around myself (or Stella) to get rid of them. They are even active at night (despite what everyone says). As I try to type this there are about 5 flies accosting me. Even outside.

We have another roof estimate being done at 1pm today. I hope it doesn’t take as long as the window one. That was almost… no it was 3 hours. Chris left at 3pm and the guy didn’t leave til after 4pm. We just want an estimate. Not the history of the company (which apparently is required when the guy comes to get the info for the estimate). I need some time without people.

I am still not in a good headspace, but I am a little more functional. I came home in a good mood yesterday. As lack of sleep kicked in, I could feel myself getting crabby, so I tried to reign it in. We needed some family time. I am hoping that I can start to get myself together. Everyone keeps sending messages so I find that I am avoiding my phone. Mom finally gets it and has been leaving me alone. I don’t want to spend my time on my phone (more than I already do). And it seems that once people get in touch they just keep talking. So I have been avoiding everyone. There have been a blessed few that will not talk my ear off and I am very grateful for them.

I am going to see about enjoying the silence for a bit. Maybe a shower will help. Thanks for reading and stay safe.