I find that I continue to take on more than I should so that people need me. In some situations, it is because I enjoy it (my article writing started out that way). Or to prove to everyone (including myself) that I can do all of it. But there comes a breaking point. Yesterday was that for me. By 9am I just couldn’t do it anymore. Between the brake issues with my car, two meetings on Monday (on the way to the first meeting is when the brake issue started) when Monday was my day off from my main job, the crazy day that was Sunday (being at work by 5:30am to do my liquor order, going home for a few hours after my shift then heading to the tattoo parlor to get my ink fixed), my first inventory where I have to count all my backstock myself for two departments by myself, my plans for teaching cooking classes at work this Fall, my birthday…. too much going on in my head and just as much going on outside of my head. Everything just shut down. My coworkers are awesome and they stepped up to the plate for me so I could go home early. I intended to get my groceries and leave but it turned out that the store owner was in his office as I was heading out. He asked if I was sick so I poured it all out to him. Instead of saying something negative he encouraged be to go home and get some much-needed rest. He also said that I probably was in need of a vacation. I mentioned that Chris wanted to take the week of Memeorial Day off and his response” “Let’s make it happen!” You know you work for a good company when that happens. So I came home with the Boss’s blessing and tried to relax.
I guess this is me trying to step back from things. I need to show someone else how to order cigarettes for when I am gone. As I type this I see the potential issues with doing that. I have to choose someone. There are two people I can choose. Either one would be good. However… the one not chosen will be angry and hurt. GAH! The easiest thing will be to just put it in the lap of my boss. I will give him my choices and let him make the decision. It might be cowardly, but I am close to both of them.
I am thinking of pulling out one of my three classes on dvd and doing that as a relaxation thing. I have creative writing, guitar and photography to choose from. At this point I think the photography is the only one I wouldn’t have to restart. Maybe the creative writing one would be ok. I don’t want to put more on my plate (thus doing the dvd verses going to an actual class class) but I want something that is out of my norm. Something I can focus on that I won’t just drift through because I know it.
I feel a stress headache moving in. It happens when I think too much about too much. So I will wrap this up and try to figure myself out some more. Thanks for reading and stay safe!