Aging, Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Thinking, Writing

Arranging My Eggs

I let myself sleep in. No idea if it worked because I am still very tired. The last day of August (I have always thought of it as the last day pf Summer) is a beautiful one. The sun has come out and a warm wind is blowing. Stella is laying in front of the bay window. I think we are both going to miss having windows open. Before we know it Winter will be here. This year is supposed to be a bitter cold.

I am looking to get through the next few days and ease on in to my staycation. I have things that I want to get done. I am trying not to cram too much into that time off as well. I hate going back to work and feeling like I never had any time off because I crammed so much in.

I got complimented on my departments and counting by the inventory team. That made me feel pretty good. Then to add to that happiness one of the beer companies I carry stopped by with two samples for me. One of the perks for being beer manager! I also need to try to pull together the newsletter for work. This is completely on me. If I don’t feel I can pull it off right now it’s no big deal. But I think it would enhance things at work. Even if I just do a prototype. But we will see. I still need to finish that class for serving alcohol. It doesn’t take that long but because I am not doing it all at once I am forgetting things. So I think I might try to just start from the beginning and knock it out in one sitting. A coworker said he got it done in 30 minutes.

I am going to try to do some things around here before work. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Food, Friends, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Writing

It’s Gonna Be All Right

I had a hard time getting up this morning. My body wants to catch up on sleep all at once. Just a few more days and we will be on vacation. Thursday’s meeting has been pushed to next week so that will be something to get me out of the house. This week it means I can stay home after work that day. I am grateful for that. I think next week will also see a lot of me in the gardens doing clean up.

I have a decent crew at work tonight. I hope all goes well. This morning when I went to open the sliding glass door I stopped. I saw a small hummingbird feeding on the flowers right outside of the glass. I stood and watched her for probably less than a minute as she went to all the flowers on the porch. She hovered and looked at me for a few seconds before she went to a few more flowers and left. That is the second hummingbird visit in as many days. Yesterday also brought me a brand-new Monarch butterfly visit. This beauty’s wings were freshly dried. That is how I know I am starting to destress. My nature friends are coming back.

I want to take Stella to the park for a walk but with the sickness that has been going around I need to keep her home. Walking her in the back 40 makes both of us itch because the grass is so tall (we let everything do what it wants). And she is itching enough right now.

It wasn’t supposed to rain today but I think it will. The skies are darkening and the temperature is dropping. As much as I am enjoying it, it is good sleeping weather and my body would really like to do that. It will be a struggle to keep awake. Hopefully the shower will help. I will share a few photos. Oh, we have two more cantaloupes! We ate our two tomatoes yesterday and they were amazing! I hope you have a spectacular day! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Done and Dusted

Well, that bugger of a day is done. I got home a little after 5am this morning. For whatever sick and twisted reason, I am awake now. I guess then my schedule won’t be as messed up, but still. On top of all that I lost my phone for a few hours at work.

Yesterday everyone was saying how slow it was. I would like to know when. I was going as soon as I walked in the door at work. And I didn’t stop til 5am. I’m glad that I did my liquor inventory while we were still open. Beer took me seven hours. When everyone started coming in to work this morning, I got a lot of “You’re here early!”

Next week will be nice. Neither of us has to work so hopefully we can start spending some time together again. I have been so stressed over things lately and I have been pushing everyone away. Now that we are slowing down at work I am hoping to recoup some of the energy I lost.

I had better get this posted. I will type a little then stare off into space, type a little and stare off into space. Thanks for reading. Stay safe.

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Holiday, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, Thinking, Writing

Don’t Scratch

Things seem to be a bit all over this morning. The longest day is finally here. I made it until around 11pm last night. It wasn’t easy. I thought about calling family but in the end I decided to just try to relax. Stella and I did play a lot and we went for a walk on the property. I am worried because she has been chewing her legs and paws as well as scratching a lot more than normal. She is on the flea and tick medicine. I will call the vet tomorrow and see if it might me a side effect of her medicine.

I do feel better mentally since the Girls and I went out together. I am hoping that the whole inventory thing being over and then vacation will help balance things. Time will tell. Oh, so the fun thing we did that night (one of them anyway) was we colored the underneath of my hair a deep purple. I was worried the purple was too dark but it isn’t. It turned out very fun. You don’t really see anything until I pull my hair up. We had fun doing it.

Instead of writing this I find myself watching Stella. She is trying to snooze on the couch but is currently chewing her way down her right front leg. She stopped for a few seconds. Long enough to hop off the couch and scratch around her neck. Back up on the couch and then back at the leg. Sigh. Dry skin? Now it is the rear back leg.

Ok, I am going to wrap this up for today. I still need to shower and take care of laundry. Thanks for reading and stay safe!


A Little Love From My Friends

It is way too early. I tried to let myself have an extra hour of sleep but when I came back to bed after resetting my alarm my brain would not quiet down. Then my throat was too dry and I needed to cough. Despite that yesterday was worth the no sleep.

After a very rocky start at work (I ended up being manager for a few hours so the store manager could leave early… and no sooner did he leave and it all hit the fan) I almost bailed on going with the girls to Traverse. I got stressed enough I was ready to walk. But things slowly turned around. By the time I got home I was feeling pretty good about things.

I think all three of us needed to go out together yesterday. A lot of synchronity was going on. We all had a lot of fun and we even did some girlie things (more to be revealed later). Nuts, I was going to share more but I need to get going. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Writing


This morning will be a short post. I need to get to work and get everything done. I am hoping to go out with friends after work. I am trying not to feel guilty about leaving Stella. (I hadn’t thought about that until typing it just now. Now it will be a struggle to not back out of going.) My goal is there by 9 am and out by 4pm.

I have been asked several times over the past few days what makes me happy. I don’t really have a good answer anymore. Things make me smile and laugh. But happiness has been elusive. That being said I am very proud of my garden. It turns out that I am growing cantelope this year. The plants have been blooming for months but have now produced the actual fruit. My tomatoes and peppers are also doing well.

I am trying to look to myself for my happiness instead of depend on others. It sometimes works. I am still trying to not self sabotage.

We had a visitor last night. A tiny frog. Stella was too interested in getting the mail no notice so I can back with my camera and took a few photos. I see I have used up my allotted time. I’ll get the photos uploaded and then get this posted. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the love and support. As always, thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Gardening, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Blowing In the Wind

I can feel my anxiety ratcheting up. I have a lot to do today at work. Things were slow enough that I got everything done that I needed to last night. Today is my next stage of challenges. The biggest thing will be price changes and inventory prep.

We are supposed to get rain for most of the day. I’m not sure what that will do for business since it is just past midweek. I also need to remember that a few people will be running late today. (Sorry, I am going through my mental to do list.) Looking out the window I see that the wind is picking up.

I seem to be scattered this morning. I just need to remind myself that I get out at 2pm today. No plans. I can come home and just chill. I guess I ought to get going. Thanks fir reading. Stay safe.

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Automotive, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, History, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Drifting In the Memories

I have a Pitbull asleep in my lap. I am typing one handed as I scratch her with the other. Stella is doing better, thankfully. After reading various news reports of dogs getting sick up here, I am wondering if our walks in the park caused some of the issue as well. It seems that parks have been spraying for bugs and such and that has made a lot of dogs sick. Maybe it is a good thing I am lazy?

I don’t want to go back to work today. I am just not feeling it. But I have to. And next week is going to be difficult as it is inventory on the 30th. I am ok with my liquor but my beer department… that is a bit overwhelming. I am going to guess that Monday will be a long day. They are asking that we have our counts done on the 29th. I need to ask if there is anything special to do besides ask people to mark things off if they pull from my backstock. Cigarettes won’t be a big deal. I don’t have to count them.

My mind is everywhere but here. A fellow blogger was recounting his trip to Greenfield Village and Henry Ford Museum and I spent some of the best parts of my childhood there with Dad. As I was going through his photos I let myself remember. My dreams were like that today too. I was trying to clock watch and still get some sleep. So I would be dreaming but crack an eye long enough to register the time then drift back into my dream. Very surreal.

Stella has drifted out to lay in the sun. I want to work more on my novel before work (I did do some work on it yesterday). I also need to shower. That way I can just feed Stella and hunker in bed after work tonight. I am hoping for an easy night tonight. But we’ll see. I should probably wrap this up. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Thinking, Writing

Moving… Keep Moving

The sun is not sure of its place this morning. It has been overcast since we got up. I do see some blue sky coming out. We have another estimate being done today at 1pm. Yesterday’s did not show. Chris called and apparently he forgot. So he came out yesterday to take measurements and then he will call Chris with an estimate. I was less than impressed. Chris was much more understanding. I am hoping that we can avoid the spiel about the company again (it is the same company that we had for the window estimate but this time for the roof… don’t ask me why both could not have been done at once because I don’t know).

I did end up going into work for about an hour. One of my coworkers asked if I would manage while she went to pick up her granddaughter from drivers training. So I buzzed in for a bit. I dried some tears and bolstered confidence while I was there too. I couldn’t not listen when she so obviously needed someone to talk to.

I think I will putter around my plants this afternoon. My indoor plants need to be trimmed. Some of the outdoor too. I also need to try to figure out where everyone is going once it gets too cold to keep them outside. There are… three- no four- hanging plants with quite a few potted ones.

And I will sit down with my novel. I got all three of my writing magazines in a two-day span so I have been thumbing through them. One of them actually has articles on horror writing which is a nice change. I need to figure out what my goals are, for myself and my writing. That is a big goal today. I should get myself moving. I let myself sleep in so I am a little behind where I wanted to be timewise. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, the World, Thinking, Writing


Stella came out here to be with me for a little while. I think she isn’t feeling good again. And I think it is because she is liking the lotion off of Chris. He has a special lotion that he uses and Stella loves licking and giving kisses. We tell her to stop but she manages to sneak in a few licks anyway. She got love from me for a bit then walked outside. I thought she was going to lay in the sun, but she came back in and went back to bed with Chris.

The flies in the house have become all but unbearable. We have fly strips up but there seems to be no end to them. I am constantly waving my hands around myself (or Stella) to get rid of them. They are even active at night (despite what everyone says). As I try to type this there are about 5 flies accosting me. Even outside.

We have another roof estimate being done at 1pm today. I hope it doesn’t take as long as the window one. That was almost… no it was 3 hours. Chris left at 3pm and the guy didn’t leave til after 4pm. We just want an estimate. Not the history of the company (which apparently is required when the guy comes to get the info for the estimate). I need some time without people.

I am still not in a good headspace, but I am a little more functional. I came home in a good mood yesterday. As lack of sleep kicked in, I could feel myself getting crabby, so I tried to reign it in. We needed some family time. I am hoping that I can start to get myself together. Everyone keeps sending messages so I find that I am avoiding my phone. Mom finally gets it and has been leaving me alone. I don’t want to spend my time on my phone (more than I already do). And it seems that once people get in touch they just keep talking. So I have been avoiding everyone. There have been a blessed few that will not talk my ear off and I am very grateful for them.

I am going to see about enjoying the silence for a bit. Maybe a shower will help. Thanks for reading and stay safe.