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Walking in Quicksand

Another early morning. But I did get some sleep so hopefully it won’t be like Thursday. Yesterday was…. Messy. I was anxious on several fronts (one of them was possibly losing a friend over getting the beer department). Some of the issues/problems got taken care of. Such as my manager calling and we talked about my schedule and being able to take care of my departments. (I now have one day a week the all I do is beer and liquor.) I was also anxious about getting together with my friend to write. I asked if we could do it at the house because I wasn’t up to dealing with people. She said yes. A few messages later she says she can’t come over. She has to work. I didn’t realize how much I needed that time until it was taken away. So I essentially shut down. I wrote in my journal but not my novel (again). I paced. I tried to work on my class for doing demos at work (I got frustrated with that and stopped after one class). I weeded two of the raised beds (that was satisfying as I hate this particular weed). I ended up just reading to lose myself.

Chris was extremely patient. He let me have my space but would check on me every once in a while. He made tacos for dinner. He listened to an audiobook (ear buds) while I read. Stella just hung out between both of us. She got scratches and ball tossed from me (she has a bit of a limp so we are limiting ball throws outside) but she spent a lot of time cuddling with Chris. (Which made me miss Moose.)

So while I am not in a good headspace I think I can make it through the day. I hope. I feel close to tears but I cannot waste that energy right now. I have too much to do today. I hope you have a good day. Thanks fir reading and stay safe!

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