dreams, family, Gardening, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Drifting and Wandering… Wait, Where Am I?

It is difficult to see this post through closed eyes but I am trying. I can hear various birds already at it. I just have to get through a few more hours…. We have been getting busier and busier. Which is good for the store but everyone is getting wiped out. Keeping staff is more and more difficult.

I was dead to the world when my alarm went off. I was in the middle of a dream about Dad. My brain has been arguing what words to use as I write this. Things like should I use the word difficult or hard? Then my mind will wander off. And I struggle to find it and get it focused back on task. It is going to be a long day. Thanks for reading and stay safe.

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Holiday, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Rambly Me

This morning has dawned a bit chilly despite the sunshine. I am enjoying my first cup of coffee. Stella got up long enough to eat and go outside. I don’t blame her. I can barely keep my eyes open myself. I woke up at one point to glance at the clock trying to figure out if I had the day off or not. Just today and tomorrow. But my brain also remembers the last day off. That would be last Friday. With everything that has been going on it has been a super long week.

We got a good rain last night, so everything looks fresh and happy. I will get out with the camera and get some photos to share. I didn’t get any yesterday. My days are all starting to mush together. I don’t like it when that happens. I feel like a paint mix of many colors that is just is slowly blending together.

Stella has come out to lay by me. She is getting loved on, so she is happy. Tonight will be the hardest. I am closing manager so I could be home as late as 10:30pm. Then back up at 5am for work the next day. I might be asleep by midnight. I might not. I will be tired enough. I am worried about her hips though. I should probably start giving her glucosamine again. When she stretches she has loud popping noises. She did that when we first got her because her hips popped in and out easily from the abuse she’d had. We knew that she would have problems as she got older. She will be like her sister and not let on that she is in pain.

This weekend will be the actual start of the silly season. The National Cherry Festival kicks off in Traverse City. No one wants to be anywhere near Traverse this time of year. I should probably wrap this up. I am not really focusing on this anymore. I will go and get a few photos to share then get this posted. Sorry for the rather long ramble. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Sussing Out the Breadcrumbs

There is so much rolling around in my head this morning. My brain and body are finally to the point that when I crash at night, I crash hard. So I am starting to get some steady sleep. That being taken care of for the time being I am turning back to my writing. I am going to try to set aside time on my days off (to start with). I just realized that I signed up for the July NaNoWriMo Writing Camp. Oof. I did that in a peak of creative hope at the beginning of June. I can but try. I also sent an email to my editor at the paper saying that I was ready to come back. I hope I am not over doing things. I can but try. I am going to not doing much to doing a lot again. But maybe not. We’ll see.

It is pretty nice out so once I post this, I will take Stella for a walk. I should drive her to the park. But I have a feeling that if I plan to get any writing done, I need to just to our back 40. I am trying to focus on forward without constantly looking back. I will be turning 50 in a little over a month. I need to be looking forward. Not back.

I find myself wanting to stay home more and more. A lot of that is because I deal with people all day. The other part is that I am just not up to running around all the time. I need some down time. (This from the one who just filled her plate back up. Sigh.) But I also need new experiences. I need to be alive. Not in a fog reaching out for sleep. So I guess…. I guess I need to figure things out a step at a time. Time to make more lists!

Stella is restless. I don’t blame her. I haven’t spent much time with her lately. I am going to wrap this up and get her outside for a bit. Then I will write one page on my novel. I can do this. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Cooking/Baking, Creativity, Emotions, Food, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Focusing on Forward

The person I want to talk to at the courthouse was not available today. So, I will try tomorrow. Meanwhile I am hoping to share some ideas about work with the store owner this week. Some of them are specific to my liquor department (I am bringing in new items and would like a small display on the counter), some I am incorporating other departments with mine (I would like do to a mixology class once a month and incorporate food pairings) and the last encompasses the whole store and possibly both stores (I will be suggesting a monthly newsletter). I am very excited about all the ideas. I realize that two of the three suggestions will probably be laid directly in my lap. But I am excited for them so we will see what happens. I think all three will benefit the store.

I did my first liquor order yesterday. As I wrote earlier, I added a few new things. Small but new. Hopefully those will sell and allow me to continue to add as the season goes on. It will be tricky though. I have to try to figure out what is selling to the locals versus what is selling to the tourists. Then I can lighten orders accordingly once tourist season is over. But it is doable.

I have spent a lot of my down time reading Duma Key. I had forgotten how really good it is. Especially if you can really relate to the lead character. I did get a few photos yesterday. I saw that my fairy rosebush was in bloom. It has been budding forever. I also had visitors in the form of butterflies and even a deer on the other side of the fence. She didn’t seem to mind me taking photos of her or talking to her.

Today has dawned a bit chilly. The temperature reads at 56F (13C). Yesterday it was almost 90F (32C). I watered my plants when I got home since we have gotten none of the promised rain over the past few days. My swing is out and I used it yesterday. It was weird to feel the tree move me when the strong winds shook it.

I see that I need to get myself together to get ready for work. I still have a few things around here that need to get done. Thanks for reading and thank you do much for the wonderful comments! They mean a lot. Stay safe!

anxiety, Creativity, dreams, Emotions, Gardening, Learning, Life, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing


I hope today is better. Yesterday’s lows were very low. We are supposed to have rain all day.I am ok with that because we need it. The weather has been so weird all over the world! It is warmer here than in Hawaii a lot of days!

Later this morning I will be learning the fine art of liquor ordering. I need to touch base with the owner and find out what I will be using to order once I get the hang of things (it is currently on a coworker’s laptop).

Truly what is really eating at me is that I was served papers yesterday here at home regarding outstanding medical charges. The amount they are suing me for is almost 4 times what I was told was left. So I will be responding Monday morning with my own letter at the courthouse. The basics of it is that I am asking them to show what has been paid for and what has not. Also what has been covered by my insurance. I have repeated asked the doctors for this but I have been told that it’s not possible because everyone has their own billing system. So they need to show me what is owed and for what. I refuse to merely hand over money anymore.

I did not sleep well but when I could get to sleep I did get some deep sleep. I think I need to clean out the filters in the AC units. Every night now I wake up having to cough because my throat gets too dry. I keep a big glass of water beside my bed but I have been wiping that out over the course of the night because of coughing fits.

I haven’t taken any new photos. I will try to remember when I get home this afternoon. If it doesn’t rain then I will be out watering my plants after work. Everyone is looking healthy so hopefully we will be getting some fruits and peppers soon. I need to clean out at least one raised bed this week. My next day off won’t be until this coming Friday so I will need to squeeze something in before then. So off to work I go. Thanks for reading and stay safe!


Off My Everything

Yesterday started so well! An eagle even flew overhead! I felt balanced and good. But then little things would go wrong. By the end of the day I had a really large pile of things that had gone wrong. And I was angry.

I tried watching movies. I did pull out an old favorite book, Duma Key by Stephen King. That helped. But I tossed and turned. My sleep meds did not work until the last hour before my alarm. Right now all I want to do is sleep for several days.

So I have no idea what today will bring. It hurts to swallow. I am exhausted. Today will probably be busy. Hopefully no disasters. Thanks for reading and stay safe.

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Butterflies, Bees and Hummingbirds. Yay!

Here we are. Late but here. It is a mellow day. The sun is being drifted in and out of clouds. I fell asleep watching “Unexplained” hosted by William Shatner last night. No idea for how long. I do know that I ended up with about 12 hours of sleep after I dragged myself to bed. Yesterday was long but full.

Work was busy busy. The gas pumps got shut down for several hours to get everything thing fixed. Drama was running rampant, so I was putting out spot fires making sure no one walked off the job. After I got home I had to go back to work because I had forgotten (for the first time) to get Stella’s meat for her dinners. I did get all of the groceries on the list. I spent more than I anticipated because I got us an umbrella with a stand. It is about 9 feet (2.7 meters) across and orange. Chris has been told by his doctor that he needs to be spending more time outside in the sun. I will help the transition with the umbrella. If I can get him at least outside then that is a win in my eyes. I got it all set up. I don’t know where I want to keep it set up yet. Fortunately it is relatively easy to move around. I also got the backyard mowed last night. I had Chris gas up the mower (I didn’t want to spill gas all over with my wrist not working) so when he left I did the backyard. For now, both the front and back look fairly good. After a shower to stop itching Dad and I had a good chat. We discussed work, Mom, life… It was a good chat.

Since I got all that done yesterday my day today is free. I might be puttering in the gardens. Near the house I have had hummingbirds, bees and butterflies. For two days running now! I am so excited! I cleaned out the hummingbird feeder and filled it. I do need to water all my plants today. Inside and out, they are looking a little dry.

There has been a lot of major digging going on around here. Two doors down across the street has had digging going on all week. Now the people with the goats across the street have major digging going on. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was the same equipment being used. I wonder what everyone is doing.

Today might be a bit busier than I thought. I have a friend/coworker that is finally arriving back here from Texas today. She might come over for a bit once they settle in. Hang on… someone is here. Just Fed-Ex dropping something off. I should wrap this up. I will take a few photos to share (I didn’t get around to it yesterday). Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, Dogs, Emotions, Friends, Learning, Life, Medical, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Writing

Good News For the Busy Bee

Oh morning how I don’t want to be with thee! I’d much rather be asleep after an 11 hour shift of dealing with the public! But it is a short shift and I have tomorrow off. I can make it. I hope. Baby Stella has chosen to get up with me this morning. I feel blessed because I pretty much came home, fed her and let her out, showered and went to bed.

I got called in early to learn that I got another promotion. I can now add liquor manager to my ever expanding repertoire. It came with a raise as well. All I have to do is learn the ordering system. The coworker what had the department before me will be showing me that part hopefully Sunday morning. The rest of the day I was hoping. I don’t think I really sat down unless I was counting drawers. And I even got to those late because I was so busy.

I guess I will be receiving a gift from a customer I helped last night at the gas pumps. He was trying to put gas in the car while his wife got groceries. He’d just had a stroke and was still getting around with a cane. He came to the gas window apologizing that he needed help because he put his credit card in the slot that the receipt came out of and couldn’t get it out. He was so sweet and kept apologizing. I told him that he wasn’t the first and certainly wouldn’t be the last. I worked on the machine for almost an hour and still couldn’t get the card out (coworkers came out later and were able to get it out… someone else had gotten their card stuck and not bothered to tell anyone so we had two cards). I took their name and number and called them when we retrieved the card. While I was trying to get the card out we chit chatted. They were from downstate and we talked about the Detroit area (since that is where I grew up). He was very interesting and we had fun. He and his wife were so grateful that it wasn’t made into a big deal that they are bringing me a “gift” for everything. I told them no but they were insistent. As it was the stinker tucked a $20 into my pocket.😊

About a third of our freezers were down as well. So an added bonus was that the frozen delivery was left out (long story and not our fault). As a result several packs of ice cream were unsaleable. However they were still edible. Since we got credit for the mishap we were able to share the ice cream (bars and popsicles) with the staff. We had enough for both day and night shift. That brightened everyone’s day!

I see I have been rather long winded this morning. If you’ve made it this far thanks for reading and stay safe! Oh and the photos are repeats. I hope to have fresh photos for tomorrow!😊

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, Exercise, family, Friends, Gardening, Guitar, Learning, Life, Love, Motorcycles, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Riding, Thinking, Writing

Finding a Balance. Finding Me.

Another morning… We have company so I am overly self-conscious about how much noise I am making. I guess it is an excuse to write and read. I don’t really feel like doing either. I slept in since I don’t have to be to work until noon. I feel like I should’ve gotten up at my normal time. But what would it have accomplished? I would still get the same amount done and make the same comment that I should’ve gotten up earlier.

I am struggling to find a balance of some kind. There are things that I want to do/start but don’t. Yoga is a good example. My mind wonders when I am going to squeeze it in on workdays. There is my writing. This is the only consistent writing I am doing right now. My journaling is sporadic, and my novel has stalled out. My gardens… I am doing pretty well on all things considered. But I still have to get those raised gardens done and my rock garden cleaned out. And the backyard mowed. Stella still has no harness and our walks have become fewer and fewer. My motorcycle needs to be ridden. I need to keep pushing with my guitar. There is keeping in contact with friends and family (I suck at it, but I try).

I bust tail at work and do my best to get things done around the house and for us when I am home. It just feels like there is so much! I have thought about a schedule like Mondays I do this and Tuesdays that. But with my schedule I have to fit things in when I have time. So I don’t know what to do.

I also find myself saying that I will do things for others and then drop the ball. I have the best intentions but I either don’t have the time or… don’t have the time it seems. I can’t pare back anymore. Next week is my last week off from the paper. It will be good to be back. If they still want me. We’ll see. I will shoot out an email once I post this. I should wrap this up. No rain is in the forecast so I may put my hammock swing back up. And Stella needs a walk. Even if it is just on our property.

Thanks for reading and stay safe!


Trying For Two (or Too… Much?)

Another heat advisory has been issued until 8pm tonight. I have had both AC units on all night, so the house is pretty comfortable. Stella and I both started getting warm as the sun went down last night so I turned on the unit in the living room. It was 72F (22C) when I got up. And today is the first day of Summer! Yay!

I have noticed that the mouse pad on my laptop no longer works. I am not sure why. I am grateful that I have the wireless one. Stella has gotten up not long after I did. She is currently ensconced on the couch. I am avoiding talking about Mom. But here goes. I decided to cancel her doctor’s appointment. Even though I do not agree with it I understand why she did it. Without giving too much detail there where physical issues that would prevent her from getting to the doctor without causing more issues. So, I am encouraging her to at least get one of the free COVID tests via the mail. (For those asking yes, she has had all the vaccinations.) She doesn’t seem to be getting much better. So we are playing things by ear. I am not going to force her. She will just dig her heels in deeper. Instead I am going to support and encourage that she follow through with things.

I did get things done around the house. The front yard got mowed and weed whacked. The downside is that my wrist did not like the whole vibration and various motions it was put through. It doesn’t hurt as much this morning, so we’ll see. I am still going to wrap it. (I leaned forward and supported myself on the back of the couch last night. I must’ve landed it wrong because that hurt enough for me to do some swearing out loud.) Dishes also got done. All of it was mostly busy work so that I did not worry about Mom. I was supposed to talk to Dad last night but by the time I got his message I just wasn’t up to talking. A friend also tried to get me to go out for awhile last night. Not far, just here in town. But again I didn’t.

This morning I am going to try to get some writing done. I need to go and help with a project online as well. I am going to wrap this up and take Stella for a walk. Maybe that will help clear my mind. Thanks for reading and stay safe!