Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Tattoos, Thinking, Travel, Writing

And I Don’t Know Where I Am Going

I feel a bit like a deer in headlights this morning. Sleep would be a good way to go for me today. I haven’t been able to get my sleep schedule (read getting any sleep) since we went to Cincinati. I have more bad days than good anymore and I notice that migraines are starting to creep back into my life. I just want some time to decompress for a little bit. I got a message from my tattoo artist that he has hit a snag with my piece. So I am stopping by after work today to see what needs to be done. I hope I don’t have to sack my whole idea. I do have a back up plan if needed though. I just hate the thought of changing things a week before the appointment (a week from today exactly).

Stella is out here with me. She is laying on the couch staring across the room out the sliding glass doors. She won’t eat again. She ate dinner (which got mixed with her uneaten breakfast from yesterday). She got up this morning, got some attention, drank some water and laid on the couch with her ball. We had storms last night and she wanted no comfort from me so I rolled over and went to sleep. I woke up every once in a while anyway but she wanted to sit there, pant and shake on her own. I could try to hold her and talk to her but she wanted nothing to do with me.

On a positive note I walked into work to meet with the store owner saying, “There she is! The big winner!” I looked at him with a rather blank stare. Then I struck a pose and said, “I get to run gas tonight!” with a big smile on my face. As it turns out I won $500. Yep, my eyes got big too. We have secret shoppers and every month those of us who get shopped and do well get $20. Then every few months they do a big drawing with everyone who got a good “shop” and draw five names for some decent prizes. This time I am walking away with the big prize. That was nice to walk into. Atleast I remembered to say thank you.

The novel is stalling out again. Not from lack of story but lack of motivation on my part. When I actually have a free moment I am just too tired to do anything. I tried before work yesterday and I just stared at the page. My brain refused to function.

It is warming up but I am still leery about putting my plants outside. They need to be out there but I am not up to the daily routine of taking them out when I wake up and bringing them back in before I leave for work. It still gets cold enough at night that the plants need to be back inside overnight.

I guess I should wrap this up and try to get Stella to eat something. Thans for reading and stay safe!

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