anxiety, Emotions, Life, retail, the World, Thinking, Writing

Start, Stop, Repeat

Eh? What? Already? But I just shut my eyes! Fine. I’m up. 😢😴

Yesterday was one of my longest work days. I got to fill out an accident report (my first since I stepped up to management), we had yet another drive off, two call-ins which meant I did some work in the deli again. Oh and a lot of unhappy coworkers.

I have been given the option to get out early if I want. A mere phone call away. We’ll see what the day brings. It is supposed to rain at one point. We need it. Things are drying out. The temperatures are becoming steadily warmer. Dare I start to move plants outside? Is that you Spring?

I have the next two days off so I might putter in the gardens. I want to get my little tiller put together and maybe try it out as well. Even if it is just one of the raised gardens that gets cleaned up.

I am worried about making it through the day. I am well and truly tapped out. But I see by the clock I need to get going. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, Exercise, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Spring Happenings🦋

I am wiped out. Yesterday at work was crazy. Between the people and all the chaos… Then I got home and Chris and I hauled a bunch of stuff out to the curb (tomorrow is our annual clean up day with the county, this year they are picking the stuff up at the curb instead of us hauling it to them). After Chris went to work I hauled a bunch more stuff out on my own. Funnily enough it is not my lower back that is sore. It is my upper back and shoulders. So hopefully that is a good thing showing that I did not over tax my lower back. I may need to go out and move things around though. It is funny watching people drive by and stop to take a look at what we have hauled to the curb. It’s like a rolling yard sale, but everything is free! The two AC units we put out there were gone within minutes. And I have to say that our yard looks a lot better. I hauled out stuff left by the builders (I use the term loosely) when they built our garage as well as just general stuff that had not been even looked at for years. Tomorrow sometime will be the pick up. They will have their work cut out for them looking at everything that has been hauled out. I hope they use all their trucks!

Stella also was busy. She got the zoomies and went tearing through the yard several times. I threw the ball all over the place too. So hopefully she got her exercise. She still won’t eat breakfast and she didn’t eat all of her dinner either. But she ate and she seemed a little perkier. But there is still something bothering her. Depression? Anxiety? I’m not sure. But both of us will be home on Sunday so hopefully that will cheer her.

The grass in the backyard is actually green! The front yard not so much. But that is ok. We plan to get some grass seed planted this Spring. When we go over for Mother’s Day next Saturday I hope to get a general idea of what Mom wants out front in her yard. I told her I would help her get it all set up and seeded. I have gotten her some seeds for her garden. I want to get her some more but I need to get to the store. I need to start getting some dirt as well (for my gardens though). We sell mulch at work so I am thinking that once I get the front flower beds cleaned up (and I mean a good deep digging out) I will borrow both Chris and his truck to get some and get it spread out. If that does well I will do the same with the gardens across the back of the house. The other gardens will need to be weeded on a regular basis though. I need to decide if I want black or red mulch. Although I could just mix them…

I got some decent photos yesterday. The waxwings are not shy at all. They have no problems with me taking photos of them. Some of the birds, like the cardinals, are very shy when they see me come out with the camera. If it is just me no big deal but if I have the camera they will fly off. I still need to go to mhy neighbor’s and take a few photos of her trees. The way they are lined up is just so cool!

I should probably wrap this up and go check the bird feeder. It sounds like we have a new bird by the singing I just heard. Oh! I forgot to share! The birds nest that is in the awning over the motorcycle pad has been claimed by a robin so I might try to sneak a few photos over the next few weeks. Thank you for all your comments and support! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Puppy Concerns

Stella is asleep on her back beside me. She won’t eat breakfast but she got up as soon as I did this morning. She has been pretty cling since I got home last night.

Work went quick because we were pretty steady from the get go. I had pretty much all decent customers so that helped. Today I just need to make it til one.

My wrists are starting to flare up again. Almost bad enough that I come close to dropping things. This Summer might be interesting if I have that going on. It will effect so much! Gardening, writing, riding, scratching the dog…

I’ve not had a chance to take any new photos so I will have to share some older ones. I will try to take some after work. It will be a busy afternoon as it is. I need to squeeze in a walk for Stella as well. She’s not been doing well and I am worried. She’s having accidents in the house again. It has been several weeks since she ate breakfast (although when I brought chicken home from work I got her to eat) but she does eat dinner. There are a few other things but you get the idea. She has a check up on the 16th of May so we’ll see what they say.

I need to wrap things up and head out the door. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Emotions, Learning, Life, Nature, Tattoos, Thinking, Writing

To Make Mistakes And Move On

I had such great plans for yesterday but all I got was stress. I don’t like people being mad at me, but I also have to stand up for myself. My tattoo artist will fix my tattoo (he thinks that it his best work) but I am pretty sure that neither of us will be seeing each other again. He tried to suggest simple things he could do that might “fix” the way it looks. Then he showed me a piece that he could put over the portrait opposite the mask. I really like that one. I told him so. Then I am accused of bad mouthing him in public (which I did not). He was polite about it and I was polite back. Funny thing is that is probably what got him to respond to my messages. Anyway I am completely stressed out by the whole thing. I have to wait a month for what I have to heal. I am looking forward to the result but going back there not a fan. And the other tattooer was there on the couch on his phone but I knowing him he was probably videoing the whole thing incase something happened. He’s a nut job anyway.

Just when I get my anxiety under control it is time for the meeting. Fortunately the Zoom like worked because the snow stuck and the roads were a bit slick. It was a long meeting but interesting. I am curious to see what will happen regarding some of the buildings going up. Then at the end I was told of an error I had made in my last article on that meeting. As soon as the meeting was over I sent the paper an email regarding the mistake and I included it in the article. Hopefully that has all my bases covered. But the mistake made me feel like a failure. I’m not but the emotions say otherwise.

Instead of writing what I got done was laundry, dishes and I watered the plants. Oh and my high tops and tennis shoes got washed and are drying. Before I leave I need to fill the bird feeder. I am now out of time. I gotta get ready to go. Thanks for reading and stay safe!


The Call of ???

It annoys me that I am telling you that once again it is snowing here. We went from ice chunks to fat flakes. If we go out for a walk I will probably have to put on Stella’s coat. I had hoped to putter in the yard a bit today. I don’t want to rake the leaves out of the gardens until we stay warm. I don’t want all those precious little shoots to get frozen and die.

Further info on the tattoo front. My artist and I have messaged back and forth. He finally saw my message last night. When he finally responded I politely explained that I appreciated all the work that he put into the tattoo but it looks nothing like I wanted it to. The portrait looks nothing like my hero. So he messaged back a little while later saying that he had some ideas he wanted to run by my to possibly fix things. Could we get together? I said I was at work. He said he would swing by. He never showed. I even grabbed Stella after she ate and we drove down to the shop just incase I misunderstood and I was supposed to stop by after work. The shop was closed. This morning I wake up to a message apologizing and can I stop by the shop today. It would just take 5 minutes. Just name my time. So I sent back “How about noon?”. I haven’t heard anything back. I really like my other pieces from my artist. I don’t want to say I will never go back. But if this keeps up…

I think I have found my key to working on my novel. A timer. A timer set for 30 minutes. I did this yesterday and I got almost two full pages written! So I am going to do this again today. Yesterday I sat outside at my little table but today is too cold for that. I will need to figure out when and where. I have a meeting tonight but I can do that via Zoom (please let the link work!). With me waiting on a message from my artist I may wait til after Chris goes to work (he will game on the tv when he gets up since he can only play Grand Turismo out here in the living room).

Since regular exercising seems to hurt the base of my spine I have started using one of those giant balance balls. They found one at work and I was using it to sit on while I waited for the baler to crush boxes (I had several loads that day). Since they were tossing it they offered me the ball. So I decided that I would watch tv on it and do a little exercising that way. It seems to be gentler on my spine. I have done it several days without any undue stress on the spine so I will keep plugging along with it.

I just got a message from my artist. Noon it is. If Stella gets up before then (she is still in bed asleep and I don’t blame her)I will take her with. It will just be to the other end of our road and I will only be inside for a few minutes. As a matter of fact I can leave the car running because I will be right there. Hopefully I will have something good to report to you tomorrow.

I’ve not had a chance to get any new photos with everything going on. I will take a few before I post this. My orchid has bloomed and I want to show off my cucumber. Thank you for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Automotive, Books, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Writing

Brewing Something New

I am drinking this morning’s coffee via French press. The Keurig decided that it was done. Just after Chris finished the descaling cycle. So, thankfully, we have other means of brewing our coffee in case of emergency. The coffee is questionable as it is a hodgepodge of many put together. It doesn’t taste bad, just different. I will get some preground at work tonight. I prefer to grind it myself as it keeps its flavor and richness as it is brewed but the grinding process is not a nice idea when loved ones are sleeping.

Another disappointing writing day. As in it did not happen. I tried but I let things get out of hand with other things around here. A headache did not help matters. So I will try again today. I am up earlier and it seems that I got to this faster due to my homepage not working. But I think Miss Stella negated that when she got up. She came and sat next to me and I just sat and scratched her while I read you blogs. Then some more when I was time to write this. Every time I tried to get her up to go eat she seemed to collapse further into my lap.

The tourists are starting to trickle back up. I am not looking forward to tourist season. I never do but what will make things worse is lack of staff. If we have a huge season this year (and I think we might because everyone has cabin fever) it will not go well. We might even lose good people because of the actions of one person. Such drama! Work can be very much like a soap opera.

Stella is across form me on the couch asleep. I might take her for a walk before work. If I give myself 30 minutes to work on my novel and do nothing but I should have time to take her out.

I need to replace the brakes on my car. I also need to check my air box again. The last time there was hesitation on acceleration it was because there was a nest in my air box. Stella also needs to go in for her annual visit. I need to call today to set that up. (She has just curled up into the tightest ball she can make. Hang on while I go cover her up.) I will also mail out the next to last of my medical bills. I will just have one big one left that I should be able to get rid of in short order.

In order to get myself going I need to wrap this up. I just keep finding new thing to talk about, lol. Thank you for all the support, love and encouragement. I really appreciate it! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Thinking, Writing

Pondering and Puttering

Yesterday was bright, warm and filled with sun. Today is warm but the clouds are thick and grey. We will probably get some rain soon. I am hoping to sneak in a walk with Stella before then. We were going to yesterday when I got home from work but she was way too hot from running and playing. Right now she is lying beside me on the floor as I type, hoping for lots of love. The weather is so comfortable I find myself staring off into space and not really thinking of much.

I slept about 12 hours. Some of it was conquering a panic attack in the wee hours. My mind brought up everything I could be doing better (or not at all to be better). I wouldn’t say I woke up refreshed but I do feel better. Work was busy (for me atleast). I spent a lot of time helping out in the deli. I made… 48 chicken pot pies. I buzzed around the store every once in a while, to make sure all was well in my kingdom and to give breaks. I got home and I was exhausted. But I was still able to spend quality time with Chris and Stella. My body is telling me that I did quite a bit yesterday. So far it is sore in a general way.

I hear the wind picking up again. That seems to be a thing this year. Strong winds. Despite the decent weather yesterday and today (today qualifies because it is warm) we are dropping back toward freezing the next few days. That sucks. I like being warm. I enjoy having the house open and puttering in my gardens. The other day before work I yanked up a good chunk of ivy that was taking over a big corner of my gardens. I want to put my plants out but I don’t trust the weather. And there are so many I just don’t have the energy to shuttle everyone in and out all the time.

I don’t know what my plans are before work. Read? Write? Garden? Maybe just sit outside and chill. I’m pretty sure that if I sit outside I will end up atleast picking up branches that have fallen with all this wind. I have gotten some photos to share but before I can I need to delete some of my old ones. That being the case I should wrap this up so I can get it posted in a reasonable amount of time. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Dogs, Emotions, family, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Thinking, Writing


This morning’s blog will be short. I just don’t care. I Amon little to no sleep because we have had storms all night and Stella has been shaking. About an hour before my alarm was due to go off I finally told her I had to try to get some sleep. She wouldn’t lay beside me. She finally got up and went with Chris in his office. When he came to bed she did too. Suddenly I did not exist for her. She wouldn’t even come by me to get into bed. She hopped right over Chris. So on top of a crap bay yesterday I am hurt. Thank you for reading. Stay safe.

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, Tattoos, Thinking, Writing

It That…. SUN?!

I stayed in bed late. And that is ok. The last dream I had I was a werewolf and I was hunting with Sam and Dean Winchester. I was gooooood! It was nice to be able to take out my anger and aggression. It was one of my favorite dreams.

Stella keeps laying down beside me. She goes and gets a toy then comes back. I know she wants to play and play outside but I need to get this done. I also talked with Dad yesterday so that leaves me free to do whatever today. Whatever is going to be a concentrated effort on my novel. I have not worked on it for various reasons and today needs to be the day. My goal is to spend time in it every day. Another thing I ought to do is make a daily schedule and chart to track myself. I also need to make myself accountable for these goals. That will take some thought but after I get some work done on my novel.

Stella has been very attentive. I am not sure why. I have been pretty good at taking her for a walk every few days or so. It gets us both out onto the property and walking. I might bring my camera today. The problem comes in with her leash. It is shorter so either of us can easily jerk the other one. But one thing I have noticed are good photo opportunities. I also need to get over to my neighbor’s to take some photos before she starts clearing out her trees.

Today I must also brace myself for Chris’ critique of my new tattoo. The swelling has gone down so I will try to get a photo today. I am extremely self-conscious about this because Chris is an artist in his own right. I value his opinion but if it is not the same as mine then I am left second guessing myself.

I have laundry going so that can keep going in the background as I work on my writing. I think I may venture outside to do it. The sun is out (once again the “brief rain shower at 10:37am” did not happen… they need to quit asking me if I want to upgrade to premium; why would I pay for them to be wrong?!) and despite the chill I think it would be a good day to be outside. I must resist the siren call of gardening until after my work on my novel is done. Speaking of which I need to get this posted and get working! Thank you so much for all your support! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, Gardening, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Tattoos, Thinking, Writing


Stella and I are snuggled up on the love seat together. I have been trying to type and navigate on my phone while I scratch and love on her. It hasn’t worked well for me. Stella ,however, has been happily moaning as she gets her face and ears rubbed. She can barely keep her eyes open.

I am not 100% sure about my ink. I will be more sure about it once the swelling goes down. I’ve never had a piece so raw after a sitting. That being said I’ve not had a piece that so concentrated other than my dragon on my shoulder.

It has been raining all night off and on. The weekend is supposed to be warm summer like temperatures. With more rain. But we’ll see. Even with rain if It will be that warm I will open the windows on the house to air things out. We can use it.

I did get some nice photos yesterday but I will have to save them for tomorrow. I don’t have time to get things downloaded etc. I am working the early shift and I don’t know what chaos I am walking into. A coworker messaged me that we had four of our eight pumps down last night when we closed. Which means that it will be interesting today. On that not I bud you adieu. Have a great day! Thanks for reading and stay safe!