Last night at work was long. Tonight will be even longer I fear. We keep trying to tell the owner that we don’t need to stay open as late as we do. No one comes in so he is wasting money. But we shall see. He saw things first hand a few weeks ago. Hopefully he doesn’t forget.
Things have gotten dark here since Essie’s passing. That we are in the doldrums of winter here does not help. It’s not like we could take the motorcycles out for the afternoon and just ride. There is nothing to do. Being stuck in the house just brings things in to focus more as to what has been lost. Many of our old haunts in Traverse City are closing. Many places require you to dress now (good luck when tourist season gets here and everyone is in shorts) or are carry out only. Or just too many people.
Depression this time of year is a hard thing to deal with. I know sometimes for me it turns to anger. I can’t just call into work and say, “Hey! Got a case of the blues today so I won’t be in. Oh and I need to use a sick day.” With minimal staff and even more minimal managers it won’t be happening. And I don’t know what to do to help others in the same boat. Especially when I am going through similar experiences at the same time. I have no life preserver to throw because I am holding tight to it myself.
So here I sit putting words on the screen. I don’t know what else to do. Time is passing so quickly. (Even though I complain of work going slow.) It has already been a week since Essie has been gone. Even photography has its limits. It’s the same cold snow day after day. It hasn’t moved. It’s the same naked trees. There are only so many ways to capture the same thing. But I try to put a unique spin on it. Sometimes.
There is a dead fly that has been frozen to the screen. I feel a bit like that fly at the moment. I need to free myself so that I can take care of loved ones as well as work. I guess I should wrap this up and get it posted. Thanks for reading and stay safe.