Bringing Baby Girl Home

Here I sit alone in my office. It is the end of an era. I have always had a dog that was mine or would hang with me when I am home. Essie was the last. Baby girl came home yesterday morning. I didn’t wait long after I posted this to call the vet. The cremation place said that she was on the way back to the vet’s office. They called back a few minutes late to say that she had arrived. So I put on Stella’s new coat (Essie’s yellow one that Mom made her) and Stella and I made the tearful drive to go get her sister. Stella was very disappointed when I did not come back to the car with her sister as she remembered her. But she understood. She laid in the front seat with her head draped over the center console the whole way home. I put Essie up with Dante’s ashes.

I wasn’t for … I should’ve called in to work yesterday. I’m not going to be much better today. The only difference is that I will be manager so I can hide in the office. I had to switch my schedule around for next week. He had me working 7 days straight. When I saw that I almost cried. I needed a day off sooner than that. So I looked at my schedule and asked a coworker to switch days with me. I will be working both jobs on Thursday but that is ok. My next day off is Tuesday now. Bringing Essie’s ashes home reopened the wounds that had started to scab over. Now they are bleeding freely again and my heart hurts. I just want to be alone and not deal with people. Atleast I get out at 2pm.

Stella was good and no accidents while we were gone. I was very proud of her. We’ll see how she does next week. Maybe having Essie’s ashes back has helped her. I had something weird happen the night before I brought them back though. What woke me up was someone trying to get into bed. I felt the mattress being pushed down. Like when Essie would need help getting back into bed at night. Stella was asleep on my pillow next to me so it wasn’t her.

I suppose I should wrap this up so I can try to get myself together for work. If I can clear enough space on my media I will go and add a photo of Essie’s beautiful rosewood box and her paw print (and here goes the water works…. damn it). I hope you all have an amazing day. Thanks for reading and stay safe.