All I want today is to bring Essie home. It is a week as of today that we had to say goodbye. Normally it is a week to get the ashes back. Even work said that if they called and her ashes were ready I could go get them even if it was after my shift started. My anxiety has been keyed up the past few days. It will be a rough weekend if I don’t have her ashes back.
Stella is curled up in her usual ball behind me covered up. I notice that she doesn’t go very far when I let her out since Essie has been gone. I may go and shovel her a path and see if that makes a difference. She plowed her way along the fence and almost got stuck last night. I let her out so I could unload the groceries from the car. After I let her in I let her hop in the car and we drove into the garage. She was a bit underwhelmed as she thought it was going to be a real ride. She did pee on the floor again but the bulk of it was on one of the pads I had laid out. I guess I will just put more out before I leave for work today. I am working the gas and courtesy counter so I won’t be staying very late. The flip side is that I have to be back by 6:30am the next morning. So I need to be up at 5am.
The sun is out this morning but I find myself like Stella and just wanting to bury myself in blankets. I need to fill the bird feeder again. With the colder weather it has been busy at the feeder. I should be able to put two new suet blocks in as well. I did get my plants all watered yesterday. I also spent some time on my novel. A lot of what I am doing at this point is backstory. I’m not sure how much of all this will make it into the novel but I need this structure and history to make the story believable.
I keep staring at my phone as if I can will them to call and tell me I can come and get her ashes. I will wrap this up for now and see if I can find something to occupy my time besides staring at my phone. Thanks for reading and stay safe!