Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Reading, Thinking, Writing

Alice Down the Rabbit Hole

Have you ever woken up and felt that something is off? I did this morning. I don’t know what or why but here we are. The girls are asleep on the couch. The skies outside look like dusk.

I spent pretty much all of yesterday reading. I almost made it through two Agatha Christie novels. I am at a loss this morning. I have spent the past 10 minutes looking around or staring at the screen. I find no comfort in my daily routine.

Is it that I need something new? Not purchased per say but a change of some kind. It truly feels like I don’t belong here. Something is off just enough… And I hate putting it like that but that is the crux of it. Essie keeps looking at me as if she senses it too. Something is not quite right.

I realize that at this point I sound like a nut but we all knew that I was so nothing new there. 😁 Well since I am getting nothing done on here but stare at the page I will wrap this up. I hope you all have a great day! Thank you to those that reached out to me yesterday. I appreciate the love. Thanks for reading and stay safe…

Writing, Dogs, family, Life, Emotions, Thinking, Photography, Learning, Creativity, Nature, Animals, Love, anxiety, Medical

Was That Sleep That Just Went By?

Today the sun is out and I could care less. Stella is enjoying laying in a sunbeam though. Essie is laying in front of the bedroom door. Momma has been trying to sleep (with dubious success) both on the couch and on the love seat. Essie woke everyone with her heavy panting around 5 or 5:30am. I got up and she drank a lot of water and then went outside. We all went back to bed. About an hour later she starts panting again so I get up and gather my stuff to go sleep on the couch with her (the bedroom can get too warm some nights so I thought maybe sleeping in the cooler living room would help her). We went into the living room and she got her big drink of water before going out. Once she was in we settled on the couch and I tried to sleep. Just as I was dozing off out comes Stella. She wants up on the couch with us. At this point all I want is some sleep. I get my pillow and such and head to the love seat. She looks at me with a hurt look because she wanted to be up there with me. Reluctantly she gets up on the couch and curls up. Unfortunately Essie wanted to be next to me too so after about an hour she goes back to bed in the bedroom. Frustrated I pull the blanket over my head on the love seat. I refused to go back on to the couch. In the end both girls were asleep on the couch when I cracked an eye open around 9:30am or so.

My left shoulder seems to be mostly functional again. I couldn’t do anything without intense pain for the first 15 or so minutes after I got up. My neck is also stiff but workable. The rest of my just wants to go back to bed. And I would but I don’t want to waste my day off. I have things that I want to do. Fortunately there isn’t much in the way of typing after this. My fingers do NOT want to cooperate this morning. I am hoping to connect with both my parents today. Dad wants me to get on the family chat with them tonight. I have no idea what they are using for it (it was Skype then Zoom for one or two and now???). And I don’t know that I am up to a family chat. But Uncle Ron will probably need some support today as it is his “wife’s” birthday. (They never legally married but they were in our eyes.) We lost her three years ago now? It was right around Thanksgiving that year. So I might join the call.

I should wrap this up and get it posted. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Writing

Feeling Like a Bad Spice Cake, Too Much of Everything

I just can’t seem to get enough sleep lately. No matter what time I go to bed I feel the same when I get up. Last night I slept especially hard and I honestly feel awful right now. Today will be a 10 hour day but I have tomorrow off. I honestly have no idea what I should do tomorrow. There is so much that needs to be done around here. The only thing I have kept up on is laundry.

The sun is out and I don’t really want it to be. It can be a dark dreary day today. There are plenty of clouds still out. Did I mention all I want to do is sleep? With everything going around at work I will be upset if I get sick again. Not surprised though. I watch people cough either right out without covering their face or they cough into their hand and then touch things. And this from some of the ones that “can’t afford to get sick.” (*eye roll*)

I had a bit of news last night that was well…. unsettling. For me atleast. For most people they would be over the moon and excited and proud and….. Then there’s me. My eldest son (the one I just started keeping in touch with last year) messaged me that he and his wife are expecting. I can’t wrap my head around that. I messaged Mom but she is very blah about it. (I told her briefly about Essie and that I might not answer messages for a bit. I don’t really want to talk to her about Essie because the last scare we had with Essie Mom (well intentioned) told me I needed to do what was best for Essie. If she does that right now I know that I will lay into her. She has no place to tell me that after some of the things she…. no. I am not going there.) I want to tell her that Essie is doing well but I dread the possibility of “that” conversation.

I got some work done on the novel yesterday. Frustratingly enough I seem to have made more backstory questions for myself. Even if the reader never knows about half of what I have created I need to have the history of this village in my head and/or on paper. I have to laugh. For every page of novel I write I end up with two or three pages of backstory that I have to come up with! On the plus side I am very interested in the characters and their backstory so it is not a chore to get to the nuts and bolts of things.

I guess I should wrap things up. I want to try to wake up before work. I am closing manager so I need to be focused and alert. Not dozing. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Food, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Dreaming of Gardens

I don’t have to be to work until 2pm so that is a nice thing. I didn’t need to set an alarm. I got some extra cuddle time with the girls. Poor Essie was really warm when we got up. Part of that is the prednisone. She also drank a lot of water (again the meds). But she has been eating again so I’ll take it. I took both girls for a ride to work last night. I forgot to bring the next books in a series a coworker is reading so I decided to take both the girls with. On the way I remembered that I had forgotten to get meat for their dinner. One of my younger coworkers (she’s like a little sister) was excited to come out and meet the girls. They did very well. And one of my regulars was parked next to my car and commented that the girls were very quiet (they never bark when someone pulls up beside us). He was very impressed. I was too because Essie wasn’t shaking or anything while we were out (Essie is not a fan of car rides so getting her out and about can be difficult… I just wanted her to be in the car for something other than going to the doctor).

I am starting to think about my gardens. We have yogurt that comes in these small glass containers at work. They are a little more expensive but they tase really good and have the added bonus of being the right size to start my seeds. I also have the long window box I need to empty out. The plants didn’t make it but they were the annuals so I wasn’t surprised. The dirt was crap as well so I am grateful they made it as long as they did. This also means that I need to pick a spot to get serious about a food garden. I have several spots I can use but each has a unique set of problems. All will need fresh dirt. But if I use the rock garden (I prefer that because it is fenced in so the kids don’t run through it) there are the fire ants. Apparently this garden is on top of a mound of them. When I do any serious gardening I have to pay attention because they will start to swarm which means I have to take a break in that part of the garden for a few hours while they calm down. There is also the problem that they will eat certain things from the roots up. I cannot grow any hot pepper plants in that garden. They also manage to bring up a lot of sand which a lot of the plants aren’t happy with. I have three raised gardens but those are in desperate need of a good cleaning out (they have been left on their own for several years as they only recently became enclosed in the fence line so that I can access them). There is also the girls. They like to fertilize them in the Spring and Summer. Also a consideration is that they are a distance from the house as well as the abundance of bunnies that will come in the yard now that it is fenced in (I am still at a loss as to why that is… before the fencing went up the rabbits stayed away). There are other little plots of earth here and there that I could use but they are all easy access to running and playing Pitbulls that (bless them) don’t pay attention to what they are running through. I may resort to pots again but I don’t know for sure. Tomatoes and I don’t do well together however I am thinking of trying the whole grow them in the hanging bag that is advertised. It would be inaccessible to the usual critters. But will they grow?

With prices going up on things I need to be serious about my gardens this year. If I have an abundance then maybe I can share some locally. But I need to get things grown. I enjoy gardening so it will give me an excuse to be outside more. Since I know some peeps that work at some of the local gardening shops I might see it they can get me some specialty stuff (like the bags to grow the tomatoes). I would much prefer to do it locally than send for it. Especially since these people shop at my place of work.

Do any of you have gardens? Year round? I have tried to keep food stuffs in pots and bring them in during the winter but with as little sun as we have had they are not happy. What do you have in your gardens? What do you do about various pests? Any comments or suggestions are welcome.

I see that this morning I have run on a bit. I really have enjoyed talking with those of you that have commented on past posts. Thanks for reading (everyone 😁)! Stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, History, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, retail, Thinking, Writing

Life Update

There was no good way to start this morning. I could get sleep and rush around in the morning to get this and my article written or I could get up and hour earlier and take my time. I desperately need the sleep so you can guess what I did.

I got a call from the vet not long after I punched in yesterday. By the time I hung up I had tears streaming down my face. It boils down to this. There is no easy way to determine if the mass on her liver is cancerous or not. What the vet is afraid of is that it is cancer and that is has spread to her stomach. (Remember that Essie had a lump that was cancer removed a few years ago.) So our “Hail Mary” is going to be giving her steroids to see if that helps things. If she continues to get sick to her stomach then I get to make the call.

I did my best not to snap at people last night at work but I was not entirely successful. Oh and apparently a coworker came in sick with the flu and now that is going around the store. Several people have gone home and called in over the past few days. With my lack of sleep and stress levels I am really hoping not to get sick. And I really don’t want Chris sick either.

Aaaaaand I have to get out the door. Oh, one bright spot. I cheered myself by spending a small amount of money (about $15) and got 100 business cards printed. They have my name and “Freelance Writer” below it. Ok, gotta go. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Dogs, Emotions, family, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, retail, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Fears R Us

Just when I see the light… someone flips the switch. This is going to be a short post as I have been up in the wee hours with a sick Essie. Around 12:15am she needed to go out. Then it was every 5-10 minutes for the next two hours. Up and down. In and out. Her tummy had been gurgling all night. She didn’t eat dinner but she did take her medicine.

All three of us ended up on the couch for a while. Funnily enough that’s where both girls are right now. I have covered them up with blankets. Both ate a good bit of breakfast and have been out. Essie has taken her medicine as well.

I left a message with the vet last night. I almost took Essie to the emergency vet but a) I don’t like them and b) if I just was able to leave her at the door that would have compounded the problem. So we just stayed up. She finally stayed in to be sick because it was just too cold out. And she wasn’t throwing anything up but the occasional bit of phlegm.

I am so grateful she feels better! My concern it that it will be a regular occurrence with the mass being is and pushing things around. We’ll see what the doctor says.

I don’t have any pics this morning. And I don’t quite have enough time to add old ones. I need to get out the door for my meeting in Elk Rapids. Hopefully it will be only an hour so I can spend time with the family before I head to work. Thank you all for your support! It means a lot! Stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Food, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, the World, Thinking, Writing

Looking Towards Spring

While it isn’t exactly Snowmagedden here it has been steady cold and snow since the wee hours last night. We got a few inches and Mother Nature is giving us more off and on. It amazes me that all of the meteorologists have jobs anymore. And I wouldn’t be so critical if they didn’t make such a fuss about how accurate (almost down to the minute claim some) they can be. All that snow (up to a foot (30 cm) they said) never arrived (honestly we only got maybe two inches (5 cm)) and it was all supposed to be done by 7am. The Weather Channel App would post a Storm Watch but when you looked at the hourly there would be no snowfall to happen.

I did a little thing to all (well most) of my plants yesterday. I had forgotten that I had some of those plant food sticks so I went around and watered everyone and then put in the food sticks. I do have to say that everyone looks a lot happier. Some of those leaves that were all but ready to fall off have not only perked up but have filled right out. I do need to put ice cubes in my orchid. I forgot yesterday with everything that went on. I need to be quiet because the freezer drawer can be a bit loud and Chris is still asleep. But hang on…

Ok, my orchid is watered. Essie keeps going in and out of the bedroom. She will spend time out here with me but if I continue to write for too long then she goes back to bed with Stella and Chris. I also refreshed my coffee. 😁

Since I have the day off I am hoping to keep working on my writing. I didn’t really get much done yesterday before work. But I was able to get a few notes down before I left. I really should talk to my parents but I also need a day to myself. I do want to send them the video of the girls in their new boots. It was ABSOLUTELY HYSTERICAL!!! The video is 8 minutes and apparently too long to post anywhere (or send to anyone) so that is another thing that I want to do. Sooooo that might be next after I get this posted.

I filled the birdfeeder with the last of the seed. I had just enough to top it up. It is mostly tiny sparrows that have collected there today. They are very comfortable with the dogs and myself. I make it a point to talk to them and tell them what I am doing. They will fly to a branch just beside me so I can get to the feeder and fill it. But it is such a bitter cold today and the wind isn’t helping. I put suet out as well. I would try to put water out but it would freeze in short order.

I am struggling to get one of my candles lit. What?! Did it finally take?! The wick would not stay lit no matter what I did. Apparently the fourth time was the charm. I kept trying to stand the wick up with a pencil before it would die out. Since I have that going I am gonna get this posted. I don’t have any new photos so it will be some of my older ones that I share. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, the World, Thinking, Writing

Plotting and Planning

The morning is dark and windy. Some light snow is drifting in from the West. Everyone feels tired this morning. I am frustrated with some of my plants. It’s not their fault but I am irritated none the less. I have my favorite hanging plant that is getting infected again with those tiny critters that will spin a soft web line and then hang all kinds of nasties on it. I don’t want to kill the plant but I am struggling to figure out what to do. Last time it got really bad I was able to go out and hang it in a tree and it took care of itself. Mother Nature leant a helping hand. When the plant is indoors is when it seems to get infected. I try the vinegar and water spray and that works for a few days then they are back. Even if I wipe all the leaves off. I am at a loss.

The girls’ boots should arrive today. I am very grateful as I think we will really need them in the upcoming week. I need to go through our dog coats and see it I can find one to better fit Stella. It seems that Essie is slimming down a little but Stella seems to be picking it up. She’ll probably drop it when we can go back outside. This winter has been bitter cold so no one really wants to be outside. Even some of the die hards I work with have been surprised (these are the guys that wear shorts year round up here).

I am hoping that my knee has righted itself. I have no idea what happened but we heard a pop (this was at work and the noise startled my coworker) and I could not stand/walk on my knee. It got a little better after I got home but there was a moment that my knee just completely “snapped” and it hurt like nobody’s business. All I could focus on was that. As the night went on it seemed to get better. It is twinging this morning but so far no major issues.

I have tomorrow off and no meeting. I am glad they cancelled (it was the Harbor Commission so there isn’t much to do or say this time of the year) so I can stay home. I may chat with one or both of my parents. We’ll see how that goes. I may be having too much fun watching the girls in their new boots! I also need time with my novel. I am slowing getting back to it. Even if it is only a page a day.

I’m going to wrap this up for now. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Dogs, Emotions, family, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Reading, Thinking, Writing

A Small Cookie

We might not have much snow but the temperature is a very bitter cold. It is in the negative numbers before the wind chill! I had to go and rescue both girls last night. My brave girls went outside to go potty when I got home but their paws got so cold that I had to go and carry them in because they could not walk. So I ordered them some boots. They are slated to be here Tuesday but hopefully sooner. I got them from Chewy. I don’t have time to drive all the way to Traverse to spend looking at boots.

I replaced Chris’s rocks glass that got broken. That arrived yesterday with my latest book ,I had to get it for free shipping 😁). It’s called Gory Details. Not only is it interesting so far but THE COVER GLOWS IN THE DARK! 😱 How amazing is that?! I didn’t know it when I picked it out.

Nuts. I have to head to work. More tomorrow! Thanks for reading and stay safe!