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Giving Until You Can’t, Then Finding A Balance

Dealing with the public can be/is exhausting. The past few days I have been buzzing around work giving 110%. Fixing problems with a smile, listening to customers and coworkers alike while giving hugs and drying tears. About 5pm last night my everything was done and wanted desperately to go home.

Living in a small town makes my workplace a central fixture for the community. I love being a part of that. I love being able to make a difference in people’s lives. Writing for the local paper also helps me do that. Even the simple task of listening to a meeting and writing a little summary can help someone who cannot make it to said meeting. (A lot of our meetings went on Zoom last year but a good portion of them have opted out of continuing that. I don’t think everyone- both the government officials and the public- realized how much it was needed. Many older or sick people were able to learn about what was going on in the local government firsthand. People became interested in what was going on.)

I feel bad not wanting to go anywhere in my off time. People want to go out and meet but I usually just want to stay home. I spend so much time “on” that I need some time to be “off”. Even at home I want to be left alone sometimes. I just enjoy the quiet and solitude (which is why I love having the 5 acres that we live on). I am grateful that Chris works nights sometimes because he will sleep in later and the girls will go back to sleep until he gets up. The house is silent. No one needs or wants anything from me. I can just enjoy being.

Spring and Summer are best for me because I can go outside and enjoy Nature for extended periods. I will sit and read for hours. Or conversely take photos and just enjoy the out of doors. I don’t like being cooped up in the house for extended periods despite being a homebody. But if I am I tend to either lose myself in books or go through my memories by looking through various treasure troves I have around the house. That can be a good or a bad thing depending on my mindset.

Something I have (that I forget about) are various tools to learn new things. I have various DVDs on yoga (I am not quite at an advanced level), photography, writing (I figure looking at things from another’s perspective may help me), guitar (I am an extreme novice in this despite various classes over the years) and various languages (mostly Italian since that is my current love… but I would like to brush up on my French as it has been many years since I have had to use it consistently). Most of the time though I make excuses not to do anything. Sometimes that is good but other times… I say that because I know that once I get involved in something I will get interested and follow through. Atleast for a little while.

I see that I have gone on here for quite a bit. I will wrap this up and get it posted. Thanks for reading and commenting! Stay safe!

1 thought on “Giving Until You Can’t, Then Finding A Balance”

  1. I’m the same way. Before teaching I was in food and beverage/retail. All my work has pretty much been with the public constantly. Obviously, I do enjoy it but like you, there are days I just want and need quiet. I just need solitude. It’s the only way I can recharge. I hope you get some of that soon.

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