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Baby Steps

I hesitate to say that I feel better. Whenever I do I have a set back. I know Chris is feeling worse. I still have a week before I will be back at work. I have about half a week’s pay coming next Wednesday for this week. I still have to make sure that I have enough for my car payment and bike insurance set aside (yes we keep the motorcycles insured year round). I did order food for the girls. Unfortunately it will get here Tuesday. So I will be doling the kibble out til then. I hoped for a date a lot sooner. But I think we will be ok.

I can see blue sky through the cracks in the clouds. The clouds seem colorful today. There is white, grey, iron grey, cream. In some spots it looks as though someone forgot to tape over the “hole” where the blue sky is creeping in. Last night we were supposed to get all this lake effect snow. We barely got dusted. What did fall was mostly ice.

Both girls are hunkered down beneath blankets this morning. Both dreaming. They were rotating cuddle bugs last night as I watched a few movies. We did play more yesterday than normal. I tried to keep them busy without winding myself.

I got several sweet text messages from coworkers yesterday asking how we were (and when I was coming back). It’s nice that I am not being treated like a pariah for being sick. That is what normally happens. Me not being there…. I am missed. I’m not being made to feel that my being sick is an inconvenience because they have more work to do. It is a unique feeling for me, not being made to feel guilty for being sick.

Then there is Mom. When she has texted she asks why we aren’t in the hospital or what medicine are we taking. When I try to explain that it is like a very bad case of the flu and we are just riding it out (barring extreme symptoms) she just stops talking to me. The problem is that Mom was in the medical field so she thinks that there is a magic pill we can take to fix it. She doesn’t understand just riding it out (which is something she had me do a lot as a child) and it will get better. I am frustrated because if I try to explain I just get shot down. She knows better than me what I am going through because she has read about it. So I just try to text as little as I can without seeming rude.

I can’t believe that next week is Thanksgiving! We just finished Halloween! Christmas will be here before we know it (and I have gotten nothing for anyone so far). Then the first of the new year…. I am honestly dreading it. It will be a year that Moose has been gone. Not an anniversary I want to celebrate.

I did accomplish a lot yesterday. It took me all day but I got the plants watered, shed door closed (twice since it was open again this morning), laundry done and put away (ok, I have the stuff that is still in the dryer to put away yet but still) and I got our bedding all washed and put back on the bed. It took a lot out of me but if felt good to see that I did something besides sit on my butt all day.

I am contemplating groceries. Not going shopping but seeing if I can do our curbside (a cool thing that we started doing when COVID hit in 2020). I really need to get us some stuff. I might ask if anyone would drop it off if they are uncomfortable with me picking it up. I don’t know if I should be out and about (I still feel pretty lightheaded) but I need to get out of the house.

Speaking of things that need to be done I see that my laptop battery is rapidly disappearing. So I need to wrap this up. Thanks for listening and thanks for all the support! Stay safe!

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