I have had a lot of people ask me why I write in my blog every day, why not just write on the weekends or on specific days. The big thing is my schedule or lack of a consistent schedule. If I had say Wednesdays off all the time I could do my blog posts every Wednesday. But my days off vary so I try to keep my blog consistent (as well as my writing) and I write this every day. I also know me and if I try to only do it a few days a week I will drop the ball and eventually I won’t do it at all.
I have received a message from the writer in Argentina about helping him polish his story to win an award. I am struggling to explain that it is going to take a major rework. Possibly just starting from scratch. With all that has been going on I had forgotten that I needed to respond to him. (I feel a bit like a failure…. I keep forgetting things like this.) I suppose that I will have to message him back once I finish with this. The dread hangs heavy. I don’t like telling other writers that their work needs… well it’s just not good enough. I sit and stare at the previous line and my mind freezes. I don’t ever want to tell someone that. But the amount of work needed to get his story even read able is going to take a complete rewrite (did I mention that there are 70 pages?) with constant communication between us. I just can’t even face something like that. It’s just not a good story. That is honestly what it comes down to. He just needs to start over. But how do I say it without hurting his feelings? Or crushing his dream? I don’t think there is a way.
And now the guilt rolls in. I think of all the things I need, should and have to do. Times I let people down. Etc etc. This is another reason I drag my feet with things. I want too much to help others and when I can’t I beat myself up.
So I need to try to focus on the good that I can and have done. Yesterday’s accomplishments include washing several walls and a good bit of floor as well as finishing laundry (all before work). Moving everything out and around in preparation of my Father-in-law moving is has freed up a lot of space that was once buried behind things (or under things) so I am scrambling to to a decent clean up before company comes over on the 30th. I know they will be surprised at the changes as it is but I want to make the extra effort so that I can be proud of how things look. I know there are things that I will have to cope with (not getting all the dust gone is a big one as I am not a consistent duster and with all of us I can dust one day and within a few hours I can see the dust starting to build up again) but I want to get as much done as I can.
Stella is dreaming. Her tail is wagging and she is woofing. It sounds like she is playing with someone or something. Silly girl. I really should get this posted before I decide I shared too much. Thanks for listening. Stay safe!