Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Learning, Life, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Turning Negative In To Positive

I just lost everything I wrote for today’s blog. It is somewhere in the ether. Grrrr…. this morning is not going well. I’m not a morning person anymore. I really hope that I don’t get crabby. I’m trying to be positive but the harder I try to worse things seem to get. The furnace has been coming on since the early… earlier hours this morning. Even the sun has stayed tucked behind a thick blanket of clouds.

Stella stayed out here in the living room with me. Essie drove everyone crazy for almost half and hour as she went from the bed to the living room and back again. Over and over. I hated to yell at her (as quietly as possible) but it was worse than pacing. She has finally settled in bed with Chris.

Ok…. think positive. I will be out of work by 5pm. We had too many people yesterday so I was out by 3pm or so. Yes I lost some overtime but I’d rather be at home with the kids. Today I get to spend some time with Chris too. I also get to sleep in tomorrow since I am closing manager. Oh wow… I just looked at next weekend. I am working at 7am both days. Oooooh. I am opening manager both days. 😮

I will not hit the delete key…. Keep moving forward. Maybe the best thing is to share some photos from yesterday. I was playing with shadow and light as the sun was setting. Let me know what you think. What I need to do is pull out the photography course that I started on DVD and continue with that. We’ll see what happens as the days roll forward. I’m going to add a few photos and get this posted. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Thinking, Writing

Catching Up

I’m sorry if this is a bit disjointed. It is way too early for me. I can barely keep my eyes open. And if my typing is any indication it is gonna be a long day. (I can’t tell you the amount of mistakes I have corrected in these mere five sentences.) The temperature is dropping again. It is starting to feel like Fall. I am not ready for Fall yet. I have not been able to really experience Summer yet!

I got everything I needed done yesterday morning before work. I am very grateful. That is stuff I don’t have to worry about now. One of them was setting my hair appointment. Nothing major. I just need to get my ends trimmed. I don’t understand my need for long hair but oh well. I am get that done the morning of my colonoscopy. Atleast I will feel pretty at one end.

My birthday is almost here again. Next year will be the big 5 Oh. How have I been around for that long? I have done a lot of stuff in that time but still. Hopefully I deal with that better than I did 40. I was happy in my 30s but when I hit 40 it was a bit of a shock. My birthday is on a Monday. I am debating about whether or not to take it off. I think I will tell my boss that I would like a day shift if I do work. I want to end my day at home. Not at work.

Stella is in this wedged semicircle at the end of the couch. She just let out a big sigh. I have to agree. I left the bedroom door open so that the girls will hopefully let Chris sleep after I leave. Hopefully. I told them that the bedroom door was open and I left the curtain down to show that the door was open but both girls are here with me. Essie is stretched out snoozing. I am jealous.

Ok, I need to wrap this up. I hope you all have a great day! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Guitar, Learning, Life, Love, Motorcycles, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Riding, the World, Thinking, Writing

A Shaker Full of Everything

This morning is darkening with the impending rain. We had bits of sun here and there when we got up. Now a darkness falls upon the land. The earthy richness of the blueberry coffee I got for the Keurig is a very welcome flavor and warmth this morning. It’s not cold this morning but since we sleep with the AC on it takes me awhile to warm up in the morning.

Today is a manager day so that means I probably won’t get out until 10-10:30pm. Which would be ok but I am back at 9am tomorrow. But that means the girls and I can play more tomorrow.

I am contemplating doing a book review once a week. The one I posted last night seemed to go over really well. If I do it it will be the same thing as yesterday. I would have it as well as a regular post. Let me know what you folks think. Also let me know what genres you would be interested in. I have a wide selection here at the house so it shouldn’t be hard to do requests. Maybe call it the Wednesday Review (unless someone has a clever name they would like to suggest). Nothing concrete just getting a feel for things.

This morning I feel like my body is betraying me. I could barely get out of bed and it has been hard to move. Everything is stiff and painful. But I need to make the best of it. The girls are very understanding and don’t snatch their toys as often when I go to take them. And when we play tug-of-war they don’t pull near as hard as they could.

I did about 20 minutes on my novel last night before bed. I worked on my main character. So if I can keep that up I will be happy. My goal is 30 minutes to an hour a day on my novel. With my schedule (especially next month) all over the place I want to do small time frames so I will actually do it.

I was going to try to take my motorcycle out the other day and I couldn’t stand and keep the bike balanced, even as light as it is. So I just left it plugged in the charger. It is very frustrating. I haven’t ridden once this year. Many of you are going to ask why don’t I just sell the bike. Because I am determined to still ride.

Ok, I see that I have gone on a bit more than normal. We lost a great bassist yesterday and my mind is still processing that. We got to see the band with my Mom in concert a few years ago. It was a great time! Dusty Hill of ZZ Top will always be remembered.❤ And with that dear friends I will wrap this up. Stay safe and as always thanks for reading!

Books, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, History, Learning, Life, Love, Motorcycles, Photography, Racing, Riding, Sports, the World, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Motorcycle Book Review

   I don’t think that Alicia meant to be hero when she put together this book but in the end she is as much a hero as any of the other women represented in this book.  As a rider who is on again/off again on her motorcycle due to both physical ailments and anxieties of my own making buying this book has been the best money spent in a long time.  It rekindled the passion that lay buried beneath fear and anxiety to burn hot enough to break through to the surface like a Holy Grail.

   She lovingly recounts the lives and passions of role models new and old.  Many of the women I recognize as they are some of my own personal heroes.  I even found a few new ones to admire from like Lois Price who has been all over the world on solo riding tours (even places like Iran and Africa) as well as being an amazing author.  Then there is Mary McGee who was ground breaking in getting women into motorsports.  She has even been inducted into the AMA Hall of Fame!

   I also found more women to learn from.  New examples of a passionate life and a love for motorcycles.  Women who show us that women really can do anything.  They can ride, race, take solo tours around the world, set world records and even be mechanics and motorcycle designers.

   This is a perfect gift for someone- anyone- you love who thinks they can’t do it.  These women have beat the odds.  Better still this is the perfect gift for yourself.  Women to learn from.  Women that can show you your own inner strength and passion.

Find your inspiration.

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, Thinking, Writing

Rain in the Sunshine

Here we are. The cicadas are buzzing and humming in the trees. The sun is out and various birds are adding their two cents to the narrative of the day. The girls yawn and stretch hoping that I will be putting the laptop away soon. I’ve gotten the article written and sent in. I think I will do my word count and get that sent in as well. I look around me and….. and what? I am trying not to do another dreary post about my struggles. But last night in bed things hit home. Many things and I could feel the cloak of depression descending.

I am tempted to set this aside for awhile. But I also know that if I do there is a good chance that I won’t come back to it. And if I stop this then I would probably stop writing all together. That would make things worse. So I ask your patience as I try to work through my rough patch.

I did no work on either novel yesterday. I did get more pages in my journal though. Five to be exact. And I spent some time on my other writing site ( I feel guilty with that because someone paid for a full membership for me for a year and I haven’t done anything on the site but a few comments. But I did make the effort yesterday. I also found some helpful articles on the site which I have since printed.

I will stop here and get this posted. I did get some photos that turned out rather well. I hope you like them. Have a great day! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, Thinking, Writing

looking inside

This morning dawned wet with rain. I’m ok with that because yesterday was beautiful and sunny. I spent a lot of time outside. This time I can work on things inside. Mostly. If it’s not raining it is still very comfortable out there so I may be more inclined to work on things outside. Oh and here is a touch of sun!

I spent a little while in my swing outside reading. I had my writing things with me though. (I keep telling myself that hauling my writing things does not count for writing. Neither does research when that is all you do.) I made an attempt before bed to write but all I did was stare at the pages. So that is what I am going to do. Thirty minutes a day I will sit with my writing and either write more or stare at the page for that thirty minutes. I can’t keep ignoring it. It is not going to write itself. I also need to write back to my penpal. I have set it aside and done everything but.

Essie’s vet visit went well. She had her blood drawn to make sure the medicine she is on is not hurting any of her internals. So she (like me) is on pain medicine indefinitely. I did find out that her second medicine is for her really bad days (I am glad that I asked since I thought it was going to be what she took everyday once we finished her current bottle). Thankfully she hasn’t needed any.

This morning I kind of feel like I am falling apart. My body feels like it is completely rejecting me. I know that Chris has his problems too so I try to not say anything about mine. I am concerned since it feels like all of it is coming on all at once. I am concerned and not sure what to do. I am not a fan of doctors but things have gotten bad enough that I am going to them.

I look around the room and see my various bits of inspiration that I have. Rocks galore (I am a rock hound although I do need to start learning more about what I find instead of the “ooooo! shiny!” and bring it into the house to collect dust), my books on writing that I cherry picked from my own collection, my candle, my various trinkets…. so I guess I should use them and get to writing. Thank you so much for reading and commenting. Stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, the World, Thinking, Writing

Taking Care

I am glad to finally see some of the new bloggers that I follow finally appearing on my feed. I enjoy reading the new voices out there. 😍 The day has dawned warm and sunny. It will probably get a lot warmer but it will be heaven not to be freezing in the AC at work! Yesterday went quickly. I was all over the store but once I got settled in the deli we just went for it. There was lots to do and I am proud to say that pretty much all of it got done. The last two hours of my shift I was closing cashier. It was then that my body informed me I had done way too much.

But I have the next two days off. I am hoping to be able to relax myself mentally. My anxiety has been right up there but hidden away so I could function. I need to address that while I am at home. If I don’t and keep hiding it then there will be a melt down at one point. I also need to look at my physical limitations as well. Despite any medicine my body is one big ball of pain. I have an appointment with the pain clinic at the end of August.

Today’s goals are to work on myself and my novel. I have been pretty consistent with taking care of others. I am going to try to take care of me. This might include a bit of housework but….😁 The girls are already outside enjoying the day. I think it is time for me to do the same. Thank you to everyone for your support! It really means a lot! Have a great day and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Cooking/Baking, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Food, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Tattoos, the World, Thinking, Writing

I Need To Be Here, There and Everywhere

Aaaaaand back to the late posts. 🙄 I felt so guilty leaving the girls yesterday morning! The storm really started kicking in about the time I left for work. Stella even came out of the bedroom and was shivering. But everyone was happy to see me when my grouchy self got home last night. (I just keep telling myself “one more shift and then you get a day off.”) Chris made an amazing dinner (no photos because I was too busy eating).

I enjoy my job, I really do. It’s just that we are busy and short handed (witness me being cashier and working in the deli today then next Sunday I am manager and working in the deli). everyone is just getting fried. We have had some job applications come back but not all are up to the task.

I have a small moth that is all over me and my laptop. I brush it away or blow at it and it comes back. Not sure why. I see that and think about my hand tattoo I am getting. I am very excited! I think that my artist is going to do a 3D rendering instead of just a straight picture of a Monarch butterfly.

The girls are restless and want to play. Me not so much. I am still tired. My mind is everywhere but here. It is one of those times where I could stay focused and get lost in a book but in the real life I don’t know where to focus. Do I play with the girls? Work on the novel? Photography? Think about work? Putter in the garden? I have too many distractions. I feel like there is so much I need to be doing. So I just sit and stare trying not to feel overwhelmed.

I had better wrap this up. I sit here and look around me at everything I haven’t done and should/need to do and I am getting myself overwhelmed and depressed. Sorry for a bit of a downer post. I hope everyone has a fab day! Thanks for reading and have stay safe!


Full Moon Shenanigans

Disaster was narrowly diverted this morning. Chris got home late and unloaded groceries for our big dinner tonight (we actually get to spend some quality time together instead of a few minutes here or there so he is going all out for dinner🥰) and forgot to close the garage door. After I closed it this morning a hear a band of wild turkeys roaming right in our yard. I can’t imagine the problems to get those birds out of the garage with the rain and storms going this morning.😯

Thunder has been rumbling all around us since we got up. The rain has been sprinkles but steady. The girls have been fed and gone out to go to the bathroom. The thunder has gotten louder every little while (like just now) so Essie has come out here with me. Stella is in bed with Chris. I am glad the things were relatively quiet so I could get both dogs out to go to the bathroom. Essie is not a happy girl right now. I wonder if Stella has gone into the master bathroom again.

I am finding this morning very nice. The storm is gently rumbling around us and the temperature is wonderfully warm. I am sorry that the girls can’t sleep through the storms. And why you ask are we even up this early? Work. I am working 9am til 6pm. I did enjoy this early morning quiet time and I do miss it. I just can’t get enough sleep if I keep my current work schedule. I miss the extra hours of writing and quiet.

My back is flaring up again. I doubled up my muscle relaxer last night. I hope that my body has not acclimated to the medicine so that it doesn’t work. That is what usually happens. On the plus side I have an appointment at the pain clinic next month so hopefully I can figure something long term that makes the medicine a supplement instead of the primary defense against the pain.

I did get some interesting shots of the moon last night. She was very low in the sky and between the trees and clouds very hard to capture a decent shot. The almost blood red shots feel the most accurate. The moon has been pink and red in the night sky leading up to this full moon. And it has been one of the most disruptive full moons as well. Yesterday at work was chaotic. I don’t think today will be much better.

I should wrap this up. Poor Essie needs some reassurance with the storm. And I want to thank everyone for their support. Your comments and suggestions mean a lot. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Tattoos, Thinking, Writing

Looking Things Over

I am still tired this morning. We seem to get up at 9am instead of 8am (or even the 7am) that we used to. Some days I feel rushed while others seem to go ok. Then a long shift at work, come home and do it all again the next day. I like my job but I try to play with the girls when I get home because they have been inactive (I assume) the long time I’ve been gone. I try to play with them a little in the morning before I leave as well. But this morning? We’ll see.

We finally had another hummingbird yesterday. I’m not sure what happened. I was faithful about changing the feeder out and washing it. So I once again washed everything out and put fresh sugar water in. Now we wait. Lots of butterflies though. I am really looking forward to getting my Monarch tattoo. That will be on the 18th of August. I’ll share photos the following day.

Yesterday also was a good long chat with Dad. When we hung up he was in a very good mood and smiling. We had various trips down memory lane and I also got him up to speed with various happenings at my end. He is starting to get out more and experience his world rather than stay cooped up in his apartment. That is helping his mental attitude as well.

As for me I got laundry going, mowed the front lawn (after my four hour chat with Dad) and even spent time on my novel. The girls and I played off and on through out the day. I always feel that it’s never enough compared to what they should be getting. I also got a few photos in the yard.

I suppose I should wrap this up so I can get some stuff (quietly) done around here before I leave for work. Chris is still asleep so I will try to entertain the girls quietly. I also need to check all the plants inside and out to see who needs to be watered. Thanks for reading and stay safe!