anxiety, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Life, Thinking, Writing

Explanations

There was no way I could write yesterday. The only writing I did was in my journal right before bed. What a mess. I am having problems with my words now. I just don’t want to deal with any of this. The long and short of it is that Mom fell down her stairs (from the loft to the living room which is something like 13 stairs) then she had things happen around the house that really freaked her out. So I ended up calling her around midnight to get her calmed down. Two hours later (maybe more as I refused to look at the clock) we hung up and I tried to get some sleep. That didn’t work so well. I called in to work and explained what happened. It was decided that I would get some sleep and call back when I woke up to see if they still needed me. Okie dokie fine. I did that (the girls and I got up at 11am so they could eat then we went back to bed). I got up for the day around 12:30pm or so. Then I saw a text message from Dad. He had a mini heart attack the day before. (I am a bit hurt and angry as I responded as soon as I saw the text but have gotten no response from him yet I told our family in the family chat and he has responded to their queries so I am finding out how he is from them.)

So I really am done adulting. Anyway I called work and to see if they still wanted me to come in and told them about Dad. I was told to go ahead and stay home. The store manager was discreet because one of my coworkers messaged me to see how I was (and to tell me my Girl Scout cookies were there). She asked me if I was feeling better so my manager said I was sick. Which is not what I am used to. I am used to everyone knowing my business. I explained to her what had happened (I guess I am still thinking that people think that I am faking things and I need to prove that I am not…. 15 years of it will ingrain that in you). She was very sympathetic. (It is also easier to explain in the written word that tell it all verbally.)

So I spent the day trying to forget. And stay out of my own head. I played with the girls as much as I could and I watched a lot of tv. I emailed the paper and told them just that Mom had fallen down the stairs and the article would be late. They were fine with that. I plan to try to do the article after I finish this (if I have time). That being said I suppose I should get to it. Atleast the sun is out.

Thanks for reading and thanks for your concern, Stay safe!

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