anxiety, Cooking/Baking, Creativity, Emotions, family, Life, Motorcycles, Nature, Tattoos, Thinking, Writing


Yesterday was a success. I didn’t get everything done but I got the important things done. I got the time with my family (both at home and on the phone), I exercised and I got the article first draft written. Once I finish this I will go over the rough draft and polish it up then send it in. Today I feel relatively sedate. But I can feel panic trying to creep in. I really wish it would go away.

Yesterday I spent more time out of the house than I planned. Chris needed a few more things to make us potato soup so I said I would go to the store. I decided to take the long way “around the block” (the same route I use to take Rogue out for a ride (my motorcycle)) before going to the store. Angus (my Subie) has just been going the short distance for home to work all the time and I try to run him through his paces once a week or so to keep the engine happy. When I got to the store I ended up chatting with seemingly everyone employees and customers alike. I also picked up my schedule for next week. I need to take to the manager because despite me having left him a note about my appointment on Friday morning at 11am he has scheduled me at 11am to work. And that appointment is for my tattoo of Moose’s paw. I have waited 3 weeks and I’m not rescheduling it. I know he will fix my schedule but I am still annoyed that it even happened. What will probably happen is that I will come on after I am done. I have door duty that day so we’ll see. (We now have to have a greeter at the door because it is mandatory to have a mask on when you come in to shop. The nice thing is it sounds like it is an extra $5 an hour when you are the greeter. I am a greeter twice this upcoming week. That will be a nice addition to my check!)

The day has dawned a bit overcast. It is still a bitter cold so I haven’t got the trickle charger hooked up on the motorcycle. Sigh. Call me a wuss. When my hands get too cold though they hurt and I’m pretty sure that they would get very very cold outside trying to get everything hooked up. I still might try before work. We’ll see how the final draft goes. Speaking of which I need to wrap this up and get that written. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, Exercise, family, Guitar, Learning, Life, Love, Motorcycles, Nature, Photography, Reading, Thinking, Writing

So Many Choices aka Where Do I Start

This morning we slept in. Mostly. I was wide awake at 4:30am for no reason. But within a few minutes Stella had darted off the bed so I followed suit. Just in time to get her outside to throw up. But I got myself back to sleep by 5:30am the the girls wanted to get up just before 8am. Funny thing is I stayed up past 10pm last night despite being wiped out doing reading and research.

Have you ever had so much around you that you wanted to do and/or learn that you didn’t know where to start? That is very much me right now. I have two novels that I am writing and researching (the werewolf story seems to be getting the most attention right now), I got three more classes that I want to do (learning guitar, creative writing and creative nonfiction) as well as the photography class. Let’s not forget the photography class that I’m already doing and the new magazines that I got in the mail the other day. Oh and the abundance of potential photographs that seem to be jumping out at me. Then I also need to keep the girls and I active which means exercise routine for me and lost of chasing, tea kettle and toy throwing for them. And let’s not forget my all important family time. When did my life get so complicated? Lol.

This morning I took a bit longer in reading other writer’s blogs. I am making an effort to try to make more comments on blogs (I know that I like to hear from my readers so it’s only fair). And there were a lot that I was drawn to comment on. Keep up the good work everyone!

Nuts. Hang on. I’m out of coffee.

Ok, I’m back. I also had to give Essie a belly rub. Anyway, there is just so much to do! I’m not even sure where to start. I have the research that is ongoing for the werewolf novel as well as my resources from my personal library to help write it (the current reference I am using is Robert J. Ray’s The Weekend Novelist. I figure if I can just work on it my two days off a week (I am fully aware that I am going to probably doing something related to the novel every day because that’s just me) this book will give me help in staying focused. I hope. I have the article that I need to research and write today. I need to do my exercises. Dad wants to chat. I need to call Mom to see how her date went the other day (the first one in almost 30 years… I am very proud of her, it took a lot for her to go out). I need to watch atleast one more class in my photography course. I have narrowed down my tire search for my Subie but I keep forgetting to call around locally. And everyone is closed today. I also need to get the motorcycle hooked up to the trickle charger (it has been bitterly cold lately so I have put it off). And apparently I need to see to the bird feeder. The chickadees are getting very vocal when they see me. On that note dear friends I suppose that I should wrap this up. I have a few good photos I will share with you (oh and I need to get some more photos uploaded onto my online shop). Thanks for reading and as always stay safe!

Ed. Note: This is my 800th blog! Yay!

Animals, Creativity, Exercise, Life, Nature, Photography, the World, Thinking, Writing

Snowing…. I Mean Blowing In And Blowing Out

Good grief it’s early! I got home and couldn’t sleep. So I did my exercises (I wasn’t supposed to do them til tonight). THAT didn’t work because then I was really awake. Fortunately I received three magazines in the mail so I sat up and read those til way too late. I might have three or so hours of sleep. Yay me. It’s gonna be a long day at work. I will console myself with the thought that at this time tomorrow I will be blissfully asleep.

We have gotten quite a bit of snow over the past few days. It is about half and half with whether or not people like it. Having decent weather for so long spoiled us. But it has been such a bitter cold even some of the die hards are not liking it. More snow supposedly this weekend.

Speaking of this weekend I have an article to write which will be featured on a web site. GULP. The editor is very passionate about what I am writing about (it is an online fantasy writer’s convention that is free) so I have been mulling over what to write all week. I will put pen to paper Saturday and submit it either Saturday night or Sunday some time. It is a short piece (about 500 words) but I need it to be good. The editor was really happy with the last piece I wrote for him.

I got a really cool shot of two different kinds of woodpecker sleeping in the trees just outside my window yesterday after I finished this. They are right across from one another (back to back) so whichever one you see first look across to the other side. I hate to circle them like people seem to do so I hope you see them both. One is the really big woodpecker and the other is a smaller breed of about half the size. I may monkey with it on the laptop to enhance things so you can see both. And it might be easier to see on something bigger than the camera screen or my phone so please let me know what you think.

I need to get going. Thanks for reading and as always stay safe!

Animals, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, Exercise, family, Learning, Life, Motorcycles, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Thinking, Writing

Sleep, But Not Enough

I am sorry this is so late. I had an alarm set for 7am but I just couldn’t do it. I have been so tired in the mornings regardless of when I go to bed. This morning it was just overwhelming. I got up before my alarm and just turned it off. I close tonight and have to be back at work at 6am tomorrow so I’ll need to get a bunch of pictures taken before work. Right now it is snowing hard.

I did get a lot done yesterday. I did my exercise routine, mailed out my car payment, played a little with the girls before work, got my article submitted, did research on tires for the Subie. Then after work I watched one of my videos for class, read the next chapter in the accompanying book, showered, played some more with the girls, worked on my novel, read more research for same novel and did some journaling.

Yesterday I took pictures mostly with my phone. I couldn’t get the lighting right with the camera and the pictures of the girls the phone was right there. If I’d gotten up to get the camera the moment would’ve been lost. So the photos I plan to share today are all from the camera on my phone.

As I reread my post am I doing too much? I don’t know. Maybe I need to find a happy medium. I think my original plan was to watch my videos for class on non exercise days since I am supposed to do that every other day. But I wanted to make sure that I kept up with both. I am trying to make sure that I don’t become too lazy. I know if I give myself free rein then I will end up getting nothing done.

Chris got me a trickle charger for the motorcycle. This keeps just enough juice going in the battery so that I can leave it in the bike instead of pulling it out for the winter. I need to get that installed. It has been bitterly cold out so I have been putting it off. Saturday I will have the whole day so I think that would be a good time to do it. I also need to take back bottles and cans. Well bottles. And I may do that today. If I load up Angus when I go start him to warm him up I can open the back and then load him up. If I leave a few minutes early then I can roll them in and get my money before work. Everything is beginning to build up in the corner we keep bottles and cans (we couldn’t return them for months and now it is just a habit of not returning them). So I think that will be the plan.

I am going to wrap this up. Again I am sorry for this being so late. I know I missed a lot of my early morning readers today. On the plus side I definitely won’t tomorrow! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

anxiety, Creativity, dreams, Emotions, Exercise, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Changing Mindset

It is hard to change one’s mindset when you have drilled it into your own head for years. I did some much at Younker’s that seemingly anything I did extra curricular I could turn into a imposition because I was doing too much and I hated my job. I didn’t matter if I enjoyed said activity or not. In the years that have followed that job it has been difficult to undo that mindset. But I am, slowly and brick by brick.

I started thinking about all this this morning after I got up. I was waiting for the girls to come in from going potty and the laptop to warm up. I was trying to go over what I could get done this morning and what I would need to do after work. My brain started getting anxious and angry. There was simply too much to do! I calmed my brain and looked at it all. I could get my article written, this written and my exercises doe before work. I had ample time. I could also get in my two photography classes after work. It would be only an hour. And this stuff wasn’t an inconvenience. These things were for me. They are to help me. And with the exception of the exercising I enjoy doing all of it. My mind was determined to not enjoy any of it. Because of past experiences. I have to keep changing my mind set. Once I get myself to seriously look at things instead of assume I can take another brick out of the wall. Having a job that I enjoy and don’t bring home every night helps more than you would think.

I just looked out the window and it is snowing big fat flakes. I still can’t seem to catch them in a photograph…. Some thing to work on in class. Since I have more to do yet before work I’m going to wrap this up. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Learning, Life, Nature, Photography, Thinking

Photography and Puppy Chaos

Mom and her girls came over but we pretty much stayed outside trying to introduce the girls. For about an hour we rotated through the girls letting them meet each other with a fence between them. Essie was having none of it and neither was Marie (one of Mom’s). Essie would try to go after either of Mom’s girls (we rotated each girl one at a time so it was a one on one). Stella was actually very good. She just wanted to play. Renne (Mom’s other dog… her two are sisters) just wanted to go home. In the end we just decided to try to get together every other week to try again. If Mom is moving out here they will have to be around one another. So Mom came in briefly while we exchanged gifts then I gave her the tour of the garage (she hasn’t seen it finished… as a matter of fact she drove right by because she didn’t recognize the house with the garage).

I have learned that I know more about photography than I thought I did. I started some photography classes yesterday afternoon after everyone left. I did two lessons (each one is 30 minutes before homework). I am thinking of two lessons every other day. I’ll try it for a week and see what I think. So far I like the class.

I find it interesting that I can take better photos with my phone sometimes. I am hoping that I can get my Nikon to function better… well I guess it is more me learning to use it than getting the camera to “work” but you get the point. Night shots seem to work better on my phone than the Nikon. As I learn more about all the bells and whistles for the Nikon I will share photos so you can see my progress. And my fellow photographers please feel free to share any tips or suggestions!

I see by the clock that I need to get going if I am going to be to work on time. Thanks for reading and sharing your insights! Stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, Exercise, family, Life, Nature, Reading, Thinking, Writing

Dropping the Ball

The sun is out so hopefully that is a good sign for the day. I spent a lot of yesterday and most of last night anxious about Mom and her girls coming over today. I didn’t sleep well despite my best efforts. And when I did sleep it was with weird dreams. The closer I get to them arriving (not til 2pm so I get a while to build up a good freak out) the more I worry. I hope that me worrying is a sign that things will go well. I would rather freak out for mothing.

I got nothing done yesterday. No writing. No reading. No exercising. I played a lot with the girls and spent the evening after work with the family. I need to atleast get my workout done today. I did find out that a friend at work’s mom is a writer. She and I chat once in a while when she comes in to shop. We both love the same horror icons too. But she does her own vlog (video blog) and a book that she edited is being released soon. I am super excited for her! If I can figure out how to get the link here I will share it (my laptop is not connected to social media so I need to do it with my phone).

Today seems to be loaded with anxieties for me. My mind is just dredging up all kinds of worries right now all the sudden.

The little birds are comfortable enough with me now that when I got to fill the feeder they just hop to a branch to be out of the way. I could reach out and touch them if I wanted to. I always talk to them to tell them what I am doing. Especially if I am getting the scolding chirps. Lol.

I will add a few photos and put this out. I’m sorry it’s not more. My heart just isn’t in it today. Too busy freaking out. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, Exercise, family, Gardening, Life, Nature, Photography, Thinking, Writing

Many Many Projects

Well I am up earlier than normal (I don’t have to be to work until 2pm). The girls are back asleep. I thought I might try to sleep later but once my mind started working forget it. I’m not feeling very motivated. I talked with both my parents yesterday (I am beginning to think this is a form of procrastination for me). Dad apparently got inspired to start working on his big “to do” list. Mom and her crew are supposed to come out Monday afternoon to exchange gifts and to introduce the girls (she has two girls as well). I have all of Monday morning to write but I start thinking that it will mess up my writing rhythm (you have to be writing to have a rhythm to mess up self) and and and…. I am making excuses.

I notice that a lot of my plants are beginning to die despite my best efforts. I think a part of it is because it gets so dry during the winter and the lack of sun. Another problem is mites. I get rid of them for a while but then the little s.o.b.s come back. I have tried all the natural stuff I can think of. So I guess once again I will dump the dead plants outside and keep cultivating the survivors. I am really disappointed. Both my orchids are still doing well and the two avocados are going strong. I notice that my Christmas cactus is budding again as well. So all is not lost.

Today I need to fill the bird feeder again. All is quiet out there. Usually there is atleast one small bird hanging out. A very light dusting of snow is falling from the sky. You have to look hard to see it. Part of me wishes I was already at work so I could have the rest of my day but I have Monday off regardless so I guess it’s no biggie. Today is also an exercise day. Bah humbug. But I am noticing a difference (for the good) so I will keep going with it. I am tempted to do it before work just to have it done but if late evening has been working for my body I kinda hate to change that. (For those that have been asking about the workout it is in the January/February 2021 issue of Women’s Health pages 88-93.) So I guess I’ll wait til I get home to do my workout.

I also need to add some photos to my shop. I didn’t do that yesterday. The biggest pain is adding the title, description and then five tags so people can search for it and find it. Twelve photos can take 15 minutes or longer. Then I wait a day for them to ok the photos before they add them to my shop. So I suppose I ought to do that. I’d better get myself motivated and get stuff done before work. Thanks for reading and all the lovely comments! Stay safe!


Pushing Forward While Pulling Back

This morning is a late post even for me. I spent more time reading other blogs this morning than normal. I’m glad I did. We have such a wonderfully diverse collection of writers on here!

The huge woodpecker is back. I mean this bird is almost as big as a crow! Earlier it was mostly blue jays. And for the record trying to get a photo of this guy…. I really have to work at it. It’s like he knows when I’m going to take a photo and moves just enough so that he is behind the trunk he is going up. Perfect example from this morning: I am writing this he has been sitting there for about 10 minutes just chilling out. I decide to go get the camera from the other room for a picture. I quietly get the camera and don’t even go near the window (mind you I’ve not gone back to my office to take the photo) and he just takes a few hops up the trunk and out of sight. And just sits there.

It looks like the sun is trying to come out. I do need to get some more photos today. I also need to go through and add some more to my store. I see that people have been looking but not one has purchased anything yet. But I am glad that people are atleast looking. I want to take the time to read some of their blogs on what to do with my site. I might upgrade after a few months.

So yesterday Moose’s death hit me fresh at work all over again. I couldn’t stop crying. I am grateful for the understanding of my coworkers and customers. In the midst of that I got ahold of the local tattoo shop and got an appointment to get Moose’s paw print tattooed on my chest above my heart. Two weeks from yesterday or February 5th. Just a month after he died. I will share a photo once it has been completed. His paw will not only represent him but all of the fur babies I have had over the years. I am still trying to figure out a good memorial tattoo for all of them. I keep coming back to something around my ankle like bones with their initials or some thing like that.

Ha! Victory is mine! I managed to get photos of both types of woodpeckers at the feeder! Ooooo! I got a third type of woodpecker too! Bonus! And yes I will share. Lol. On that note I will wrap this up so I can share the photos with you and then get writing on my novel (today’s goal is one page). Thanks for reading and commenting! Stay safe!

Animals, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, Exercise, family, Learning, Life, Nature, Photography, Thinking, Writing

Snow Squalls Inside and Out

Apparently Mother Nature is catching up with all the snow we were supposed to have already. We got another lake effect snow storm last night. The bottom step of the porch is now flush with the top of the deck. The top of the step is about 4 inches from the top of the deck. Poor Essie is almost up to her tummy in snow. I might have to start putting on the winter coats that Mom made them. The wind makes things ever colder. It took a lot of coaxing but Stella went out to go potty. Normally she would turn around and go back to bed after breakfast with weather like this but I was able to get her out without having to push her out the door. Essie was a jewel and just went out.

I am a bit angry with myself. I haven’t worked on my novel like I promised myself. Yesterday I Facetimed with Dad then I chatted with Mom. Mind you it has been a few weeks since I have been able to talk with Dad (I also helped him doing his online groceries since he has been putting it off for a long time…. I won’t say how long just trust me) and Mom and I haven’t talked in a week or more. So this was a good thing. But that was my evening. Work was busier than busy so by the time I put my phone down I was exhausted. I finished up the last of the laundry and a quick load of dishes and headed for bed.

I need to figure out when in my routine I can do my writing. Tonight I have my exercise routine that I have to do (ugh) and I can fit that in. Why is it so hard to squeeze in my novel? I have made myself get up early to do this. Mornings first thing aren’t good for the novel. I tried. So that leaves afternoons and evenings. I can’t do it right after work because of the girls. So maybe go to bed a little earlier and work on it there? I’d like to do it every night but maybe every other day I have to work on the novel but if I do on the “off” days that is ok too. (I’m trying to break up my to do stuff so that I’m not jamming all kinds of new stuff in at once and getting overwhelmed.)

This post is taking me longer than normal. I keep hearing things at the bird feeder behind me and I have been trying to get a few photos in. Fortunately I have my extended lens in so I can stay sitting and still get a good picture through the window. I did take a few while I was talking with Dad last night as well. I’ll get those added and get going for work. Thanks for reading and stay safe!