Heart Break

Yesterday’s vet visit confirmed my worst fears.  Since they still won’t let us in the building I dropped Essie off in the vestibule (that broke my heart) and waited in my car for the call.  When the vet called she asked if Essie’s tummy seemed different.  I said I thought I’d noticed a change but I didn’t know if it was normal or not.  She asked if they could do x-rays because she was concerned.  I thought about saying no because those were $130 but I loved Essie too much.  So they took x-rays (since she had some back in May they were able to say that they were “follow up” x-rays so they only cost $67) and then did an ultra sound (they did not charge me for this).  They found a massive tumor on her spleen.

After a few minutes of balling my eyes out we discussed my options.  I could just take her home and keep her happy with medication.  The catch with that is if the mass should break open it would probably kill her.  The other option as surgery to remove the mass.  This was no guarantee either because if it is cancer (depending on which kind it is) she might only have a few months to live.  Her surgery is Monday (with the circumstances they were kind enough to make a spot for her in their already full schedule).

This is a huge hit to my heart.  And financially it will wipe me out.  Yesterday’s visit was like $220 or so. The minimum for the surgery is over $850 with the max estimate at almost $1100.  I am really hoping for the minimum because I can just make that, barely.

They gave her a pain shot as well as anti-nausea medicine and she must’ve been in real pain because she was bouncing around here after we got home like her old self.  I felt so bad for her.  Right now she is on pain medicine and Pepcid AC for her upset tummy.  She has been very busy with her frisbee and playing tea kettle.  Last night she started looking like she was in pain so I gave her her meds a little early.  I’d planned on giving them to her before bed.  I gave her another dose this morning with breakfast.  Right now everyone is asleep.

So that is the big update.  I feel like crap and want to cry at the drop of a hat.  That being said I am going to go and do some class work while I can.  I am cancelling my memberships and subscriptions since all the money is going for Essie.  I may have to cancel my class as well.  So I’d better do it while I can.  Thanks for reading and stay safe.