This will be a much shorter post than yesterday. I’ve not been feeling good the past few days and not been getting much sleep. This morning I am really wiped out. I don’t think much is going to get done today.
Dad has been having more and more panic attacks… severe ones. They are getting more frequent. I am trying to keep up with them but it is hard. If I can get him to talk on Facetime I can usually talk him out of it. It may take a few hours but it can be done. I think Dad is realizing how much he is losing as he gets older. He turned 78 years old on Thursday. He has had both hips replaced, cataract surgery on both eyes, hearing aids in both ears…. then there are his physical and mental limitations. All this is staring him in the face and he is terrified. There is also the fact that he is gay and was not able to fully live openly until about 5 years ago when I encouraged him to move to Montreal and fulfil a life long dream. Now he is seeing all that he missed and feels that he cannot have as an older gay man. And all that keeps piling up on him mentally. Each week is gradually gets worse. The face that he is on lockdown doesn’t help either. I am not sure what to do other than just listen. His medication is losing it effectiveness as well.
So I am hoping that I don’t get any emergency phone calls today. I need to rest but if Dad needs to talk I’ve got to be there for him. I just called Essie in from barking. She heard some thing (I thought it was someone on the 2 track) and went flying out to bark. She sounded a bit intense and was heading to the opposite side of the yard so I saved this and went to see what was up. Turns out the neighbor to the east of us (the trailer that burned down last summer, I guess the guy died in the fire (maybe if I had seen it sooner to call it in sooner?) and his son has been living in the house that they had been building just across the property) is once again fighting with someone. It’s usually his girlfriend. But in the past there have been gun shots so I try to get Essie to shut up and come inside. I don’t need him coming over here to shut up the dogs with a gun.
I guess I will wrap up this drama filled episode and go outside and read for a bit. It is still comfortable out so I will enjoy it before the temperature get too hot. I’ve got some cool shots that I got with the camera yesterday that I will share as well. I managed to sneak a photo of a hummingbird leaving the feeder last night. When you look at the picture she is to the left flying at the camera. I am pretty proud of that one. I also took a bunch of a monarch butterfly that has been hanging around. She even played in the sprinkler yesterday! It was so fun to watch! I tried to photograph all sides of my faery rise bush. I realized I had been only taking pictures of one side. She is just bursting with blooms!
Well thanks for reading and I hope you have a great day! Stay safe!