The stress of everything is beginning to show. Took me hours to fall asleep. I couldn’t get comfortable. Yesterday I just didn’t feel good. Chris made some wonderful beef stew but I only had a bowl. I am exhausted both mentally and physically. At this time tomorrow I will have dropped Essie of for her surgery. I don’t know if I will write my blog for tomorrow before or after that. Moose knows something is wrong and has been by my side most of the time. My biggest fear is that they will find more than just that lump of cancer they are removing. She is getting a set of x-rays to make sure it hasn’t gone to her bones.
I laid in the dark last night and tried to figure out what to do with my writing. The past few weeks have seen me write fewer and fewer words. I don’t know what to do to prod my writer into working again. It may be time to pull out some of the books with writing exercises and try a few. Maybe that will help. I don’t want to abandon my novel because it is a good story and I know I can tell it and tell it well. I just don’t know what to do. I can go through all the ideas and plot lines but when it comes to writing it down the well dries up. I feel that I am trying to write it like a newspaper article. I have the basics and I can tell you what happens and why but it would be enough for a long article. Everytime I try to flesh things out I find that I have surfing questions that I cannot answer or I don’t see how the moment I am writing about fits into the story. Or worse it just feels like I am adding fluff to the story that can be written succinctly (again short and sweet not a roving stroll so you can see everything).
If I tell others about specifics in regards to the story then it’s like giving it away unfinished. It hasn’t developed enough that I can talk about it and not feel like I am giving everything away. Should I put it on a back burner for now and try something else? And what would that something else be if I set this aside? I am hoping to find some nugget in my multitude of books in my library.
I’m going to wrap this up. I need to respond to a few letters from friends and family. I hope you and yours are safe. Thanks for reading.