Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Life, Thinking, Writing

Dodging a Bullet

Yesterday was a near disaster.  I got treats made (finally) and puttered around the house.  By the time Chris got up I was feeling very meh and crabby.  By the time I was making us breakfast (around 2pm) I was feeling much worse and feeling very light headed (at one point Moose abruptly got up from across the room and came to sit next to me and would not leave my side).  I kept the soup and sandwich down (it did sit heavy though) and tried to read to get my mind off my breathing.  But I had the attention span of a gnat so I just sat and tried not to freak out about my breathing.  Long story short (too late) Chris asked if I wanted to go to ER but I said no.  My breathing got better as the evening went on.  This morning it is still a bit heavy in the chest area but not dramatic so here I am typing away.

I feel bad because Dad texted that he was going through a bad bout of depression and there was no was I could talk to him.  If I talked for any length of time my breathing got bad.  I asked a family friend to call and talk with him but I am not sure if they were able to do so.  Dad may have ignored the call.  I am hoping that he reached out to Uncle Ron (his brother) like last time.  Dad and Mom both rely on me when they are having problems.  Mom doesn’t know that I am doing much more than a fever (she would completely freak out and that won’t help anyone) but I did tell Dad so that he would understand why I wasn’t calling.  It’s all very frustrating.

I did a little work on my novel yesterday.  Not a lot but I am slowly trying to figure out what is going on within the plot.  I thought I had the beginning and the end so all I had to do was fill in the blanks.  BUT upon further reflection (and an few pages of reading in my copy of The Portable MFA in Creative Writing put out by the New York Writers Workshop) I think that the beginning and the end I had planned are closer to the beginning and the middle or maybe even both part of the beginning and I need to follow my characters and see where we go.  I usually have my characters and a story idea and see what happens.  This time I had a character that something bad happened to and what she did to try to cope.  But that wasn’t helping me tell her story because it didn’t feel like that was the story of the novel.  Or maybe it was and I wasn’t getting the bits right.  I’m still not sure (even less having tried to explain it).  But I am going to try to head in a new direction with the novel.  Maybe all this is just background for the character and I still haven’t found the story of the novel yet.  Which means I got a lot of writing to do to find out what is going on.  That I should wrap this up and get to it.

Stay safe and thanks for reading!  And thank you for all the wonderful comments!  Cheers!

4 thoughts on “Dodging a Bullet”

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