Losing Before You’ve Lost

This morning I am sore inside and out.  I changed up my routine last night for exercising which is why I am sore at my core.  I am sore inside because I got talking with my Aunt last night and she wanted to tell me about her doctor’s appointment from the day before.  Her cancer is back.  This is a hard blow since we all still hurt from losing another Aunt just before Thanksgiving.  I know it is harder for her and her daughters.  She lost her husband two years ago now.  Not long after he died she got sick and was diagnosed.  I am glad that she was able to meet her grandson.  My Uncle just missed his arrival.

It’s not that I am being pessimistic about her diagnosis.  I just know my Aunt and there are things she said and things she didn’t say.  I don’t think things are good.  She has optimistically said that they (she and my cousin) will drive down and stay a while when she feels better.  We have been planning this on and off for a few years.  I feel really bad that I missed going down to see everyone at Christmas but there was no way I could.

I don’t know what will happen if she doesn’t make it. So many variables. Her last bout with cancer was especially aggressive and they were surprised she made it. This time…. this time I just don’t know.

Thanks for reading. I hope you have a great day.