I am sorry this is so late today. I had a good day yesterday then ruined it by drinking too much. I need to learn to be happy in the moment instead of trying to prolong the moment with alcohol.
It seems as though when things start to go well for me I do something to make it go bad. It’s as though I am afraid to let something good happen. I don’t trust in the good I always look for the bad to happen. That is my problem with riding. I assume I’m going to do something to screw things up.
I am very frustrated with myself. But today is a new day and I will try again. I will try to be in the moment and be happy. I will try to believe that I won’t screw things up. I will try.