Aging, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Learning, Life, Nature, Thinking, Writing

Drawing the Map

Yesterday the storms never came, just the rain.  This included weather as well as my mental storms.  I am grateful for both not happening.  I am slowly making my way to the other side.  I am grateful for my support system at home.  Specifically my husband and the dogs.  When I got home yesterday my husband had finished laundry and put it away and switched out the dishes in the dishwasher.  He also cleaned up the kitchen sink.  I had planned on trying to tackle all that when I got home yesterday but I was told to just put my feet up.  The dogs are always there no matter what to cuddle and just be with me.  Moose and Essie both were doing that but I have noticed an increase in cuddling time with Stella as well.  My plants and stuffed animals have helped as well.  Sounds goofy but there it is.

This morning is mostly overcast but the sun shines brightly through every once in a while.  The temps are to be chillier today (60s versus the 70s and 80s we’ve been having (15C versus the 21-26C) but that is ok.  I need to try to get out of my head and doing some writing.  I know that doesn’t make sense at first blush.  I guess a better way might be to say get out of my own way and write.  But I think the first analogy is better.  I need to get out of my own head.  I am overthinking everything too much.  And too often.

Today’s goals are to send in my word count to the paper and work on the short story.  I may even do some yoga or atleast stretch a little.  I have been going great guns on everything for so long and lately I am barely moving.  I need to find more motivation.  I need to fan the flames before they go out all together and I have to end up working a job I hate.

Where do I go from here?  What do I do?  I was asking my self these same questions in my dreams last night.  If this is a mid-life crisis you can have it.  I would rather be living my life than sit here questioning every little thing I do.  So I guess I will spend as much time as I can looking through my pile of writing and creativity books I have and see if I can scare up some inspiration and hope.  It’s not much but atleast I am looking forward with only small glimpses back over my shoulder.

I am sorry that these past few posts have not been upbeat.  I am trying to not fake my way through all this.  I know that there are other people in the world that have similar feelings and problems.  You are not alone.  We can keep moving forward.  We have to.


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