I have put off doing this in hopes that my back would feel better. It does but it still aches. I’m not sure if it is from work or sleeping with the kids. Probably a combination of both. I didn’t realize how heavy the stuff I was hauling out of the vehicles was apparently til this morning.
I find myself trying to cheer myself on with my writing. I am frustrated. I lack motivation. People want to read what I write but… I guess I just don’t believe it myself. I want to be further in my career. I am in a rut. I start to freeze up when I write. My mind becomes stagnant. I can’t have that. I fond myself putting things off or just ignoring them when before I would jump at the opportunity to do something like that.
I find my class song from eighth grade going through my head this morning unbidden, so it must mean something from inside right? Whitney Houston’s “Greatest Love of All” was our class song. I didn’t like it then but I understand it better now. (It still isn’t one of my favorite songs but right now I’m looking more at the meaning behind the words.) It is a hard thing to do. But I think my problem is trusting myself. Trusting myself to know what to do and to be able to do it. Trusting myself to follow through and not freeze up.
I have various things I do to try to encourage myself. It might be lighting incense that I like (certain scents help me calm down and focus), holding on to a favorite stone(s) or even special jewelry that I have gotten over the years.
(Good grief that photo is HUGE!) Anyway I try to do things for myself to get me out of my own head for a while. Which is another reason I read. And why I have animals. Having animals means I have to be able to take care of them even if I’m not feeling good. It’s not easy some days. I’ve been binge watching “RuPaul’s Drag Race” on Amazon but that hasn’t helped. I think a bit of time outside needs to happen today. Maybe throw a leg over the bike? (If nothing else I have to move Rogue back to the front yard from under the bike pad. Supposedly someone is showing up tomorrow.)
I guess I should get to it. I need to wrap up the reviews and I need to keep going with my interview (my author sent her response and I was right, she is amazingly nice). Cheers!