Emotions, Friends, Learning, Life, Thinking

Losing At Friendship (or Am I?)

This morning I am in a funk.  A friendship a little over 5 years old is now over.  It was bound to happen.  There were indicators that one would never change and the other one was.  I finally said no more and he said he didn’t need me and it is over.  I’m sure my info has been removed from his phone as he has from mine.  And as mad as I am at him it still hurts to lose him.  But as much aggravation that has been going on (he sees nothing that he did or said wrong I am just being a self centered bitch) I know it is a good thing to have this friendship over with.  I wish him well.  He has things in his life that he needs someone there.  It will just no longer be me.  And as good as this is for me I am irritated that I have to still go through the grieving process.  I want to be able to let go and get on with my life.  But naturally I cannot.

Moose is stretched out behind me on the floor.  The girls are behind us on the love seat.  Moose has been by my side since this all blew up last night.  I didn’t sleep for shit (only word that seems to express things).  I ended up taking a sleeping pill after Chris got home this morning because I was wide awake.  I am a little sleepy but not abnormally so.  Not for getting about 6 hours of sleep.

The sun has come out.  It was a dull grey when we got up (the kids let me sleep until 8:30am).  The high is supposed to be 85F (29C) but it is already 76F (24C).  I was so surprised I had the app refresh itself to make sure it wasn’t left over from the last time I used it.  It got really warm really fast.

Part of me is glad that I am getting out this afternoon to see my other friend.  The other part of me is trying to convince the rest of me to stay home.  I will still go.  I need to get out and be around other people.  I suppose I should wrap this up and do some writing.  Thanks for reading.

2 thoughts on “Losing At Friendship (or Am I?)”

  1. Very sorry to hear about that friendship fallout! I’m currently dealing with a close friend of 15 years who is struggling with his own inner demons and because he doesn’t take advice or help very well, it’s become a very difficult situation to deal with. In any case, things have a way of working out for themselves and the friends who stay closest are the ones to appreciate the most. Good luck with the writing today! 📚 ✍️

    Liked by 1 person

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